I have, in the past, used my journals to get things off my chest. and usually, it has not been in the most subtle ways. i have been blunt and straight forward and sometimes with very little tact. however, this time, i am going to try something different.

I am tired. I am tired emotionally and physically, and mentally as well. What i am tired of mostly is this, all of the fake people, on this site and sites like this one. People who say one thing one day and the next they forget who you are or what you have talked about. and i am tired of being seen as little more than words on a screen.

I am a human being. a Submissive, i have a heart and i am strong, but that does not mean strength is not a submissive quality. it is. submissives have to have more strength than anyone else could ever possibly imagine, or even admit to. Most people i have spoken to think that all a submissive has to do is let a dominant or master take charge and everything will be alright. well that's not how it works. we have to be strong enough to accept things that we may not like or understand. We have to be strong enough to let go of our fears, our selfish desires and the need to question why a dominant or a master would have us do something. and most of all we have to have the strength enough to believe, to have faith in someone enough to know that they DO have our best interests at heart.

When a Submissive does let go of all her fears and doubts, all we have left is the hope that our faith is not misplaced. well, recently, mine was, not in a relationship of a Submissive and her Dominant, but in a friendship. If we, as a people, cannot be friends and have trust and faith in them, how can we ever have faith and trust enough to move that friendship into the future or any kind of relationship after that?