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| Firstly I am only using this to put the madness that is going through my mind down somewhere and as this place has become such a farse it's as good a place as any.
It will be rambling and full of self pity...so move on and don't bother reading it..certainly don't comment if you are going to give abuse or speeches.
I have found myself lost to the world...this has always been part of me though i didnt realise it properly til an ex gf told me about a similar site to this. She foolishly encouraged me to explore and meet someone only to then decide when it was too late she hated it all.
That was the begining of an endless hell.
I loved someone who is still on here...she cheated on me after we had an accident that end in a horrible day spent in a clinic ( im sure i dont have to spell it out )... i found her profile with photos of her bowing to another dom. 5 years of her borrowing money and never once paying it back...asking favour after favour and going from loser dom to loser dom but 95% being a bitch to me and when i finally thought we were through the worst she appears again on another site with the most graphic photos ever in some sordid joke 3 way relationship with the same arsehole....
along the way when she was with others i have meet a few others from here...all who then fucked me around and disappeared...never explaining why...perhaps thats the way of a sub ( i would use the word slave but none of them ever are )...it's a buys markets for them and they can pick and choose anyone they like then run away...looking for someone with more money / bigger car or who treats them like shit.
So im alone...and probably always will be...i guess i must be one of those sad losers who deserves it.
I'm not sure what to say...my brain has been fried by girls who swear blind they are genuine but call you an arsehole if you ask for some kind of proof after talking to them for months. I have meet a few people and had relationships but they always stop with no explanation like thats the way you can treat people if you tread in this world ?
I guess Dom's arent supposed to have feelings ? You put your heart and soul into a relationship but get nothing but heatbreak in the end.
Also...men are accused of just being here as cyber wankers...but it seems fine for girls to demand the same then drop you when they have cum. It can be so tedious role playing just so they can feel like a dirty girl.
Now i am the wrong side of 40...the depression is getting worse and my belief in a real loving two way relationship has gone.....it's amazing...i have been called one of the nicest men around and also one of the sickest ( in a good way ) but im never the one left with the girl.
So ends the first chapter of this rant...as i said i know people on here and feel like shit when i see them still going on about the latest guy they have fallen for...im not going to reveal who i am because i give a fuck about hurting people.
There are some lovely people on here...and a few i care about deeply but i know they dont feel the same and never will. I am finding it hard to lift my head these days..
Maybe there is someone out there who doesnt like the obvious and is willing to try something real with someone who isnt all about bullshit , bravado and flash cars.
I doubt it...
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