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To understand the lure and power of submission, you first need to know what being a slave/submissive means, where it comes from and how it is expressed.This is not a game it is a way of life.It doesnt only apply when a person feels like playing slave/sub or Master/Dom.It is a complete and total forfeit of all rights and control in every aspect,the only control she ever has is when she gives consent to give up all of her control,rights and freedom to become a slave. what the slave gets may be as simple as the comfort, satisfaction, and security of being owned or possessed and, of course, the pleasure of pleasing her Master. whether or not the slave's position is pleasant or comfortable A slave must be ready to risk not having her needs met, receiving no direct stimulation, and getting far more (or less) than she bargained for going into the relationship. Real submission is something that needs to come from deep within a person and is an important part of their nature. It is something expressed from the soul and it goes much deeper than the mere physical/sexual act of offering ones-self to a Master for pleasure. A person can behave in a submissive manner but this is not the same as being "a submissive." i did not always know this. Embracing and expressing my submissive nature has given me the most powerful opportunity to find the deepest levels of trust, power and the intimacy that can only arise from the bond of a Master and sub. It is the ultimate expression of balance, Both sides being perfectly equal, yet forming a perfect whole.Equally dependent upon the other. As a submissive, my goals would be to come before my Master as an empty vessel to be filled ... or a black canvas to be painted ... formless clay waiting to be molded. Thru this exchange, i know that i will become more than i was before ... the Master takes the raw material, or the blank canvas or the raw gem and brings out the inner shine. In this experience, many think that they assume the Master imposes His will upon the sub and she becomes whatever He wants her to be. to me, the Master brings out the qualities of submssion in a more pronounced way. Rather then being told to "act" in a submissive way, it is the submissive's task to remove the layers until who she becomes is the perfect reflection of devoted service and in serving her Master, she finds an inner joy and balance that comes from knowing that with each layer removed, each boundary crossed, she becomes MORE of who and what she already is and what is pleasing to her Master. When i feel, hear and see my Master's pride in me, i will know that i am elevated and adored above all women. i have truly given the gift of my soul to Him and in that exchange hopefully He becomes as bound to me as i am to Him. That is the beauty of submission to me. There is a dynamic that exists where the more my Master asks of me, the more i am able to give, and then the deeper our bond becomes. It grows exponentially. The perfect yin/yang of the Master being that active principle in the TAKING and the slave/ submissive being the receptive in the GIVING. submission is expressed in many ways: on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. Without all of those levels, again, it becomes merely a physical act. There is a sacredness to submission Like any other acts of devotion, it is living my life with an intention and focus that always strives for the highest, purest expression. Putting the relationship first ... always searching within for ways to please and offer more of myself than i think i can. It is this going beyond and pushing limits that becomes the most important reward of submission, the place of empowerment and self knowledge and the resulting inner strength/transformation. It is also dancing with the inner shadows ... the parts that are about fear and being taken on the journey by someone (the Master) who will be there to catch you so your never really falling. The most special part of submission is the level of intimacy and soul connection with another. Each layer that is removed, each boundary crossed, each lash accepted and begged for, each time of being taken to the outermost regions of letting go of control ... all of this is the glue that binds the Master and sub completely to one another. To become completely naked and vulnerable on every level, then give more than i think i can and see the pride, love and devotion in my Master's eyes would be the greatest gift imaginable. This kind of lifestyle is also based on rules and consequences. In each relationship, there are rules that the partners live by,i have broken numerous, consequences for falling outside the rules, and ways of making sure one knows what the rules are and what is expected of them. These rules help meet needs, and add to the enjoyment of the relationship. These rules, or code by which they live, is part of their self-discipline that makes the relationship unique to them. Part of being a slave/sub is the desire to please. In order to do this, the slave/sub needs a consistent set of rules and boundaries, and some way of having them enforced. she also needs to know there will be consequences for not following the rules, and what those consequences will be.wether it be having her ass whooped or losing privelages to other harsher punishments. she is always striving to do her best to meet or exceed the expectations set for her. Failure to do so can be emotionally devastating for her. she needs some way of paying retribution for her misdeeds and regaining her place in the good graces of her Master. Depending on her personal makeup and personality, the discipline can be mild or harsh. Only her Master knows for sure what will make her feel she has atoned for her errors and been forgiven. This is how she achieves her security and sense of being owned by her Master. This discipline proves to her that she is important to him, and that he truly cares about what she does or does not do. Discipline can take on many forms. For some slaves, merely a word or two can make her feel chastised and truly repentant. Others need a more constructive form of discipline, such as spanking, writing punishments (text messages work wonders when having to be written repeatedly), doing extra chores, or being denied privileges. Whatever way is used, it is important that the discipline or punishment centers on the bad behavior and helps the slave to choose a better action in the future. It must help her see why her behavior was inappropriate, and she should know that she has displeased her Master. This sense of being found less than pleasing gets to the very core of who she is and why she is a slave/submissive. my explaination is used to describe an absolute Master/slave relationship, that is to say a relationship where the slave has irrevocably given over complete control of her person and life to her Master, so that the resulting power exchange involves every part of their lives, leading to a complete dependence. The slave cannot relinquish her legal and moral responsibility as an adult for her own actions, but it is understood between Master and slave that her consent, once given, can only be withdrawn under very extreme circumstances. Physical restrictions may enhance the slave's commitment, and although of course legally eitherslave or Master is free to leave the relationship, this lifestyle is as much a mental as physical state for both Master and slave. Definitions of vary considerably, from relationships that aim for varying levels of dependency, to Total power exchanges, to stable 24/7 relationships. most popular BDSM phrases seem to have alot of definitions floating about and i don't think it matters what you call your relationship so long as it meets your needs.. It takes an immense amount of time and energy to even begin working towards a slave/Master relationship, let alone reach a stage nearing absolute power exchange. Any level of power exchange can only be attained by slow and careful sculpting of a relationship where the slave has already acquired deep trust, understanding and knowledge of her Master and herself sometimes a stressful and painful process. The bond becomes so strong that it is "impossible" for the slave to leave the relationship. As for the Master, perhaps the amount of inter- dependency, and level of responsibility taken on, mean the possibility for him to leave the relationship also diminishes in with the intensity of the power exchange. Just as "ownership" can be a state of mind, though not a legal reality, so the partners in a slave/Master relationship are absolutely committed to an indestructible "no way out " bond. Physical restrictions can also make it more and more difficult for the slave to leave - for example slaves should have no control over, or access to, finances or property without their Master's permission, and should perhaps even have restrictions on their movements. This intentionally frees the slave to concentrate on the relationship, her duties and her Master, other matters being beyond her control. The master's power, and slave's submission to that power, do not mean the slave is micro-managed ; the important factor is that the total authority, the level of control set, and the ultimate responsibility, belong to the Master. He aims for a balance between supervising the slave's life and encouraging growth. The relationship power level becomes second-nature, affecting every part of life, and making formal negotiations and contracts redundant. In return for taking control of, and responsibility for, the life and body of the slave, the Master is free to mold the slave and relationship to his requirements. In real terms, a genuine Master does not make any decision detrimental to the well-being of the slave or relationship. This plus consent are two of the most important factors that set any level of Master/slave relationship apart from abusive relationships. The slave gains a known structure to her life, security and most importantly the fulfillment of the need to be owned as a slave like with all matters BDSM, need (and desire) play an important part in guiding the relationship towards things that satisfy and benefit both partners; in this case the partners need and want more than the levels of permanence and security afforded by a regular relationship. Both partners positions, duties and responsibilities become clearly defined. This allows the partners the freedom to realize their potential. They become not so much "a couple", as two halves of one whole - again this dissolves the need for contracts and expressions of control - one half automatically balances, acts and reacts with the other.i do not believe in or condone the use of safe words at anytime,they are a joke meant for people who think this is a game and not a lifestyle.Having a safeword is enabling the sub/or slave to have a measure of control,the very thing she is supposed to be relinquishing, i have deliberately left out any mention of limits in my attempt to explain my view. Everyone has limits, including Masters and slaves in these relationships. Even if you are open to the exploration of most things your mind can dream up, there are a lot of things you just wouldn't contemplate doing. Any caring relationship involves talking as to likes, dislikes, desires and needs, but the Master has the final say in all matters, and His molding of the slave may include anything from giving her duties or restricting her activities to body modification. Master/slave relationships, don't always run smoothly; i doubt there are any slaves who do not every-so-often feel the need to rebel against their situation because of frustration, worry, or inner conflict or plain moodiness. And i don't think there are any Masters who do not every-so-often feel the responsibility is too much, or on a bad day just feel plain un-Masterful. However the relationship is set up so that problems are dealt with openly, and when they do arise they do not shake it's solid foundations or the plans aimed for. "Master/slave" infers that every thought, deed and part of the partners lives are influenced by and reflects the power exchange in their relationship, and the power exchanged is formidable; they have spent a long time building up their strengths and dissolving weaknesses. It takes determined people to know exactly what they want out of such a relationship and build towards that. Every BDSM relationship is different - the diversity is part of the thrill. The above is just a personal view of what a relationship can involve… other views vary.i DO NOT BELIEVE IN ROLE PLAY.
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