A little story for the interested and self inflicted penitence for the higher powers that be. When you’re coming from a different type of environment within the M/s realm always research your transition. I grew up seeing that slave meant something different then it does here online for the most part. Well to get to the story, Grrrrr I hate these parts, I was 22 years old when I found the online version of M/s and rather naïve in a way. All my exposure and dealing with 24/7 never prepared me for the lies I found online. I had already 2 r/t slaves before and thought that qualified me to take on a supposed r/t slave who was searching online for a Master or Mistress. I took this person at face value to understand 24/7 was occasional scenes with 24/7 TPE turns out 2 years later it wasn’t and she and I were both in for a heartbreak, however, not before we had added more heartache into an already rocky relationship. When the girl came into my home it was with the understanding that W/we were poly. I was married with children and this came first also that I would eventually add another person into the House. So most would say okay what is the problem? Well I wasn’t planning on adding another at that point. The sub I had been speaking with for a few weeks said, Oh Maam I am in fear of my life my ex is threatening me I am going to be homeless yadayadayada, I got stupid and picked up went and got this girl. During the process it cost me dearly in a monetary sense as well as emotional pain involving my entire House. I had this person there for almost 6 weeks when they bolted for No apparent reason. Now out of the blue I get a letter saying that she was in fear of her life and people should be warned. I was shocked to say the least a person who lied, stole and hurt my trust once again was suddenly threatening the thing that I hold closest to my heart, My Children. I was a bad mother for being in the Lifestyle and shouldn’t raise them myself. When confronted as to the why? The only answers I received were the same stories I received concerning the woman she came to me from. This thing presented it self as a pain slut was given safe words and numbers were asked her limits all this done in the belief that honesty had been given. Not that it would be total lies from the get go. So was some of the frustration valid on her part? Yes I believe so. I had quit my job packed up my family and was leaving for another state when her "abuse" situation came up. While going to get this girl, my car was trashed by the person who now calls herself the said girls Dominant/g/f. So out two thousand dollars I told the girl that she needed to work and replace that money for the move. So yes I took her paychecks as was agreed upon. The other issue being thrown in my face was the lack of interest in my children. For some reason I find it hard to reply to this with a clear-headed response. My reasons may not have been the best, however, I did that for my children’s sake. I had come back from a foreign country a wreck emotionally physically and mentally, my reasoning behind moving was so I could take a much-needed break and heal myself. When one suffers an assault it changes them as a person I am not using this as in anyway an excuse but rather a look into my soul. To look back now I was playing online to try to find me again, did it work? No I don’t think it did. All I feel I have paid with is not worth the cost of trying to heal. So when one sits back and looks around things are still hard to accept online. Will this destroy me as a Dominant? No I refuse to allow it too. I may have to struggle to rebuild my name but that is not the end. TO The Individuals Involved: I am sorry to those hurt by what happened I make no excuses for my actions all I ask is that when you seek to judge My actions you look closely at your own deceit. You shouldn’t judge a person if you do not know the whole story. I also have issues with involving children in a revenge plot against the adults. The games can stop here if you will allow it I have moved to protect my family and who knows one of these days I may say, "thank you". I am not to that point yet. I have made plans to start college in Aug thanks to this move. I am seeing a light to ending the PTSD or at least conquering it. Imagine the irony in this, I am planning to get a degree in psychology. When life-changing events happen it makes one stop and think. I am truly sorry you got caught in the middle of Life changes that can’t be easy. I will add into this once again that I am in NO WAY seeking for the moment. My trust of humans outside of the ones I birthed is sitting at zero. As far as the petty revenge I took when you first attacked, well the old saying goes don’t tangle with a mother bear. I offer no apologies for that because I wouldn’t mean it. When you try and play with someone’s life and it has been proven by an outside source don’t expect there to be No repercussions I may be Dominant but I am wife and mother first Dominant to me is a state of being not a tittle or Lifestyle choice. If you would have been woman enough to address your concerns with me I would have at least validated your feelings by listening, however you CHOSE to make it a sly and deceitful attack. So I acted out of anger and fear. I offer up this insight into my soul as a means of letting go and offering validation to another human beings feelings, The thing to remember as a human, We can influence another’s feelings, but ultimately we have no control over how they feel.