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So many angry people. It is amazing to read through the profiles...you can feel the anger and frustration coming through in the words.
Totally negative tonality. If what one gets back what one puts out, then why do this? |
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Cryptocurrencies are the way to freedom for humanity. It is one way to strike back at the establishment that enslaves humanity. |
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Leg day....oh the pain... |
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Friends - please be careful
This past Saturday I went to a Christmas party. I had a few beers, followed by a few cocktails, followed by a few shots....
I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab home.
Sure enough, there was a police DUI check point on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before.
I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.
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The world is changing before our eyes and most people are totally asleep to it. |
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It is amazing how much anger there is in the world. Too many people buy into what the news tells them. Do they not realize how much things are improving worldwide? We are advancing as a species, albeit some much slower than others. |
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Thoughts have incredible power. If people really understood that, they would do their best to never have a negative thought again.
Instead, they engage in hours of worry and guilt....embracing fear completely. |
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Evil simply is doing harm to another. Period.
Hence ask yourself, is what I am saying or doing causing harm? If so, stop it. |
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The entire basis of consumerism has its foundations in people's constant need for new material objects as sources of anxiety pacification.
Instead of being bonded to people, we are attached, to things. |
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Oh so much anger....are people really that scared?
Simple observations tell me that is so.
What are people so afraid of? |
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Freedom is another word for "nothing left to lose". |
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The key is to live life and not let life control you. |
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If you want to change the world, start by changing self. |
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Wow the Playboy Mansion is for sale for the low price of $200M.
I bet that would make a great slave house. |
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Better to have a short life doing what you love than a long life spent in a miserable way.
-Alan Watts |
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Limits are something we need to be aware of. However, it is imperative that we understand the biggest limiting mechanism in our lives is our mind. When it is pushed, we realize that many of the supposed limits simply disappear. |
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Desire is an interesting emotion. While it is often the driving force which enables us to forge a better future, it also often shows a lack of contentment in the moment. And, it is this lack of contentment in the moment, since this is the only place we can be, which causes suffering. |
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Watching Eyes Wide Shut....what an awesome movie...the sex party at the mansion is truly incredible. So many hot bodies going at it without inhibition. |
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“The human race is a monotonous affair. Most people spend the greatest part of their time working in order to live, and what little freedom remains so fills them with fear that they seek out any and every means to be rid of it.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
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"The person who cannot mater himself can never master another." -Napoleon Hill |
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If you are accepting your "reasons" for your lack of success and leaving it there, then you are setting yourself up to lose in life. |
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"Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor." -Norman Mailer |
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Books are flying off the shelf.....well not the shelf since they are ordered online but you get my drift. |
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I find it very interesting the number of profiles that state "will not answer without real picture" yet that person does not have a picture him or herself.
What hypocrisy. |
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I guess self sabotage surpassed baseball as the national pastime.
So many excel at it that it is mind boggling. |
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Self mastery requires ruthless candor. |
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"if the individual has the right to govern himself, all external government is tyranny" -Benjamin Tucker |
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I love how many subs put in their profile "as for sexually, I am submissive".
Really, no shit. Who would have guessed?
Good thing cyberspace is free on here. |
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"The first duty of every human being is to himself. Every person owes himself the duty of finding how to live a full and happy life." -Napoleon Hill |
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I know this way of life is wide and varied but I am still surprised at all the ABDL profiles I come across. Personally, I have no interest in diapers whatsoever. |
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Things happen in life but that does not mean we have to grieve over them. |
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Do you want to know why so many BDSM interactions fail?
It is simple really. The vast percentage of the "BDSM community" enter this way of life with AND keep their vanilla mindset. BDSM with a vanilla mindset isnt going to work unless you simply seek "vanilla with a bit of twist".
If you are seeking more, the conditioning of the vanilla world needs to be removed. |
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Why do so many mistakenly believe that if one is a slave that equates to being a doormat?
This just shows how ignorant most are to how this truly works.
Slave does not equal weak or a doormat.
Get that through your heads. |
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This could create a dilemma for some:
"Semen is one of the most fattening substances known to man."
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Think about this:
You see people everyday that you will never see again. |
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I Wont Do Anything Illegal....
Depending upon where you are, you already do.
http://dennisnajee.blogspot.com/2015/02/i-wont-do-anything-illegal.html |
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Thank you to all those who wished me a happy birthday today. I truly appreciate it. |
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We are holistic beings operating on many different levels. One level that seems overlooked as we become a more "advanced" or "enlightened" species is the primal. BDSM offers us the ability to delve into our primal selves while providing a positive outlook for it. It is time to embrace the primal side of our existence. |
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I missed Bob Seeger because I didnt plan ahead. Not making that mistake again...heading to Jackson Brown next week. |
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Replace your worries with wonder. |
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Feel the invincibility of your being. |
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"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." -Albert Einstein |
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"A Master never makes his slave do anything, he makes her want to do everything." |
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Just because a master can do something, that does not mean he should.
Knowing the difference between what one can do versus what one should do is the basis for long term success and failure. |
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Those who understand others are intelligent.
Those who understand themselves are enlightened.
Those who overcome others have strength.
Those who overcome themselves are powerful.
Those who know contentment are wealthy.
Those who proceed vigorously have willpower.
Those who do not lose their base endure.
Those who die but do not perish have longevity.
Chapter 33 Tao Te Ching |
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An interesting observation: I encountered numerous profiles that mentioned the fantasy/desire for forced slavery. Interesting. I did not realize that was such a popular thought process. |
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All change in life starts with a decision. Decide!!! It is written throughout the different philosophies that this is key. Yet most people do not want to decide. They would rather wallow in the misery of their life as opposed to changing it. And how do you do that? It starts by deciding to. Decide right now that you are going to change your life. That is the first step in all change. If you do that AND are committed to that decision, then your entire outlook as you go through your day changes. Suddenly you are looking at all the things you can change. |
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A great article about sub frenzy written by an experienced submissive.
Everyone should read this.
http://dennisnajee.blogspot.com/2015/01/sub-frenzy.html |
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I read a ton of profiles complaining about the "On your knees, bitch" emails that are sent by our beloved dominants on here. Of course, these people are idiots and there is no defense of them.
However, I will point out that there are many submissive profiles that are completely empty. If you would like a serious, thought out email, it is helpful to give someone something to write about. A blank profile says absolutely nothing and will not usually garner any interest from anyone who is true. |
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Here is a good example of abuse. If you find a dom/master doing this to you, walk away.
If you earn yourself a punishment and your master says something to the effect, do this or I will release your and take your collar away, then hand the collar back to him.
That is abuse. He is controlling through fear and manipulation. That is not what BDSM is about. If he doesnt have the ability to control you to the point of getting you to adhere to his punishment, then he isnt worthy of owning you to begin with. |
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We all would be better served if we truly understood the power that resides within us. There is a greater power within each of us that is stronger any force in the universe. Each of us needs to understand this. The power to create, heal, manifest, and attract dwells within us yet is denied. It is based upon feeling. Feel it and it will be so. |
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Accept yourself, truly accept yourself as you are, and watch the miracles in your life appear. All that is "wrong" with you will fall away. |
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I Choose…
To live by choice, not chance.
To make changes, not excuses.
To be motivated, not manipulated.
To be useful, not used.
To excel, not compete.
I choose self-esteem, not self-pity.
To listen to my inner voice, not the random opinions of others. |
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"Anger at a petty offense is unworthy of a superior man." -Mencius |
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Today is the first day of a 30 day challenge I set down for myself physically. I really desire taking my body to another level of fitness. Hence I am going to focus upon 5 main areas which I feel it lacking. From now until January 24th, there will be no letting up on myself.
This serves a two fold purpose. A) it gets my body going in the direction I want and more importantly, B) it instills a greater sense of discipline which is a top quality needed by any dominant. |
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"A true friend is there for you in the good times and the bad. He will give you the shirt off of his back to help you, as you should for him." 'Bodhi Sanders |
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If d/s is what you are instead of what you do, isn't that counterintuitive for a switch? In that case, wouldn't one side be what one is and the other what one does? |
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Is D/s what you are or is it something you do?
It is crucial everyone answer this question. |
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There is danger and there is fear. Danger needs to be listened to...fear does not. |
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You can either live your dreams or live your fears....
which is it that you choose? |
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Desperation is look at upon in the wrong way by many. Clingy and needy are attributes that many shy away from in a slave. However, they are missing the point.
Desperate people have the ability to grow whereas non-desperate people have little incentive to change. The needy, clingy slave have great motivation to grow into the one you want her to be. |
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I guess with the decline in intelligence level in the western world, conversation is becoming a lost art.
It amazes me that people believe a one word answer or short phrase is a way to carry on a conversation. |
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It is in the mind where one submits....it is in her core where she surrenders. |
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My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened. -Mark Twain |
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Enslaved.....
Such a lovely word. It just has a terrific ring to me. |
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A Master can not take a slave's fear is she fears him.
A slave can not give him her fear if he is the source of it. |
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Fish swim.
Birds fly.
Runners run.
Some things will never change. |
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Our job is to increase life through creation. It is the natural flow of things. Life is meant to expand. |
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Stop trying to make your life work...start making it epic. |
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There is no challenge in dominating a door mat. If a dominant is not willing to assist a submissive in growing, then he is fearful of what she might become. The role of a dominant is to provide the foundation to ground her while assisting her in learning to fly. |
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Excellent article about why a slave serves.
http://dennisnajee.blogspot.com/2014/11/why-slave-serves.html |
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Can porn be considered a hobby? |
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Revel in your sexuality. It is a beautiful thing and one of the most wonderful parts of nature. Sadly, thousands of years of conditioning and censorship has taken its toll on people's outlook. How did something so natural and wonderful become taboo? The answer is in the control. Take over what one does with his or her body especially in the bedroom and you can control everything that person does. |
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Everything worth accomplishing is hard.
There is a difference between hard and impossible. |
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Very interesting article about the anti-depressive properties of semen.
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/2010/09/22/an-ode-to-the-many-evolved-virtues-of-human-semen/
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Be yourself.
And if you dont like who you are, then be someone else. |
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Fear is a terrible master. If you allow it to run your life, it is a jail without parole so get ready for a life sentence. |
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Amazing how much the mind can inhibit us from enjoying all that is available. I have seen so many who are sabotaged by their own fears that it truly baffles me. People tend to repeat the same behavior because they never alter their thinking. This is why so many enter the BDSM world with the vanilla mindset. This experience ultimately becomes vanilla with some kink for them since they never fully embrace all that is available.
The core is what speaks our truth. Do not ignore it. Those who do tend to put more faith in their mind which creates more havoc in their lives than any other single entity. Going within is truly necessary for BDSM success. |
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What is the meaning of life?
Many have wrestled with this question when, in fact, it is a rather easy answer.
The meaning of life is to grow as an individual and to contribute to the lives of others.
That is it.
Now how you go about doing that, well, that is the personal, individual aspect of it. |
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Commitment to this way of life is always the first decisions we have to make. So many want to jump into a relationship to determine whether BDSM is for them. Doing that means that one's commitment level is dependent upon the other individual. Here is the question: what if he/she is a total ass?
The truth is we all will encounter times when we get frustrated or overwhelmed with this way of life. At the same time, many of us find ourselves "lost" believing that we would be better off elsewhere. The question I always ask is "where am I going to go"? Obviously if vanilla worked for me before I would not be here. Sadly, it didnt (nor did it fare any better the last time I went back to it).
Being true to oneself and the core within is what enables us to get through the difficult times. This is where we find out "grounding" and strength. Without this, we are apt to be swayed by our negative emotions when they arise. |
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Fear can be overcome...when you realize this, an entirely new world opens up.
Too many are puppets to their neurosis. Over the years, I came across so many who are overwhelmed with fear. It runs their lives. Depression, anxiety, indecisiveness, stress, hopeless, etc... are all evidence that fear is running the show. Now, mind you, I must make a distinction between common depression/anxiety and the clinical type which requires the assistance of trained personnel. Nevertheless, overcoming fear is a huge factor in overcoming all of these conditions.
There comes a time when it is in one's best interest to stop running. Strength is something that comes from deep within us and is resident in all of us. (Yes, even in slaves for you nitwits who think slaves are weak). It is only a matter of letting it out. The first step in the process is standing in and saying "no more". No longer will I be a victim to the emotions within me. No longer will I allow fear to make my decisions for me. No longer am I going to concern myself with "what could happen" and, instead, enjoy the moment knowing I will be okay no matter how this (whatever it is) turns out.
Self bondage is not only a fetish but, rather, something most people excel at. They are the best jailors in the world. |
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All suffering is caused by attachment. -Buddha |
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Life is one continual lesson. There are times it outright sucks and causes us pain. However, through these situations, we can learn something which carried us forward. The most successful person is the one who makes the most mistakes (and learns from them). Each day gives us the opportunity to learn via reading, observing, interacting, and our personal adventures.
BDSM is a new world for most of us. The mindset is completely different from that of the traditional. Nevertheless, that does not mean that the lessons of life do not apply because they do. Each interaction provides us with a mirror to learn something about ourselves. Where is fear entering the picture? What am I afraid of? Are there things that I am holding onto which are not helping my present? Am I reliving something that is not there? What do I feel in certain encounters and how do I respond to that? Am I willing to embrace all that is within me, even the stuff I deem "bad" like anger, resentment, fear, frustration, etc, realizing that it is just as much a part of me as all the "good" stuff?
Remember, even the total idiots can be teachers if we pay attention. |
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There are times it is best to cut bait with a person. Some, no matter what you try to do to help them, simply cannot get out of their own way. Either way, there is no need for the chaos that comes along with some. Part of being an esteemed person is realizing when to say "this person is toxic to me" and sending them packing.
This all stems from one's ability to be alone without being lonely. For some, this is a difficult task and that is why they hang around with people who are not good for them. It is true for relationships, friendships, and family. Life is too short to deal with idiots even if you are related to them. At times, a clearing out is a good thing. |
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Life is vast yet we focus upon the mundane. Amazing how petty our minds can be based upon our focus. It others did to us what we do to ourselves with out minds, we would kick their asses. Yet each day we show up for another beating...from inside our own heads.
Have you ever looked up at the stars at night and pondered how far away everything you see really is? In comparison to that, is the car repair bill such a large ordeal? How about the fight with the hubby or wife (or master or slave)? Do you realize the average person earns well over $1M throughout his/her working career yet we get up in arms about a bill for a few hundred dollars (or a few thousand..whats the difference). We also get all broken up when that one we were dealing with turns out to be a fake, married, scammer, or whatever. Why? Because we forget how vast life is and how small we are in comparison.
BDSM is about freedom. The starting point is unlocking the jailor in your head called your mind. All is well even if it doesnt feel like it. The basic truth is that you got through every single situation (problem) that you encounter from the time you were born right up to this moment. If you are fretting today, there is a good chance you were fretting about something two years ago. Well, the truth is you survived whatever it was two years ago and, I will assure you, this too will pass.
The antics of others is repetitive. Nothing is truly new. We see a lot of games on a site like this but is it really any different than the vanilla dating sites? There are morons everywhere. Life is just life no matter how you choose to structure it. And, contained in that is a set of situations which we are going to encounter time and time again. Get over it.
It is easy to complain about your shoes until you meet a man with no feet. Having relationship difficulties? They are paramount until you meet someone dying. Kids upsetting you? That occurs until you are forced to bury one of them...then your outlook changes. Heartbroken that online "dom" turned out to be a liar...well he might be an abuser and/or rapist so perhaps it is for the best. |
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I complained about my shoes until I met a man with no feet.
Everything is our perspective. So many is crap and that things suck. Well, I am here to tell you, you have not seen anything. Trust me, there are people who are in a lot worse shape than you. It is easy for us to get caught up in our "problems" when in fact they are simply temporary situations. In a few weeks or months, whatever you are most likely dealing with will not be on the table. However, there are people out there who are suffering real problems. I have a friend who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Needless to say, her world was immediately turned upside down since he is facing surgery, radiation, and possible chemo. Hearing that suddenly put my situations in perspective.
Cherish every day and the ones who are in it. We never know what tomorrow will bring. Often it is the mundane and same routine. Nevertheless, there are those who are thrown curveballs in life. Their life circumstances are much worse than what we are dealing with. Remembering this helps us to keep perspective. The present moment is all we truly have. Make the most of it. This is the place where we find all is well. |
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It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. -Arthur C Clarke |
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If you do not push yourself, you will never understand that you are limitless. |
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A BDSM relationship is a two-way street. Many on the submissive side, and rightfully so, complain that dominants think that it is all about them and the needs, desires, and wishes of the sub are ignored. This is not how it works. However, the flip side is also true. Too many submissives claim to want power exchange yet do not hand it over. Part of a masters duty to a slave is to help her grow and get past problems she is dealing with. To do this, the slave needs to be willing to toss her fears, worries, and hangups in his lap. Of course, he needs to be able to handle them but that is what being a master is all about. Alas, without this, a BDSM relationship turns into the same one way street the submissives complain about.
Food for thought. |
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Those who are true and genuine about this realize that before one is owned by another, she first must be "owned" by the lifestyle. That is where the first commitment enters. If one omits this step, her service or ownership is dependent upon the one she is interacting with. Ergo, her submissiveness is also contingent upon that which is counter to what is in one's core. Therefore, the first step is to commit to the lifestyle and then seek out another. If one is unsure if this is for her, that is where the investigation process enters the picture.
By the way, dominants must make the same commitment. If one is truly not committed to this, he or she is simply playing games. |
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Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink. -Charles Bukowski |
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A very funny photo.
http://anownedlife..com/pg/photos/thumbnail/11994699/large/thumbnail.jpg |
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What truly is the difference between a BDSM and a vanilla relationship? Setting aside the play, which ultimately is a small part of our BDSM interaction, the central difference is twofold:
1. The depth that is attainable
2. The exchange of power
3. The responsibility of the dominant to mold and assist the submissive in growing
That is all. Do not act like you entered the Twilight Zone because you suddenly entered a new lifestyle. BDSM is a different relationship structure but it is still a relationship. |
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It is so sad to read about Robin Williams and how he met his end. Depression is a powerful thing that really is not understand. Thankfully the medical community is beginning to realize that mental illness is as real as a knee sprain. Williams had so much to live for while providing joy to millions through his work. Yet, for reasons most cannot understand, he was never able to get past his personal demons. This is commonplace for those who suffer from this illness.
I write this because it is crucial we keep things in perspective. Williams was not able to see all the good in his life because of his illness. He was a true treasure that we were blessed to have. His talents were unmatched in his field (Jonathon Winters was the only one I can think of who compares) yet he did not see this. Oftentimes, we want to make things a bigger deal than they are. On this site, it is easy to complain about the fakes and pretenders but they truly are a minor headache in the grand scheme of things. Life is still life and entry into BDSM does not exempt us from that. Hold onto this idea so as to remain true to reality. It is far to easy to get lost in the fantasies and delusions of our minds. |
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Commitment to the lifestyle is the first course of action. Too many want to jump into a BDSM relationship before really committing to what this way of life is all about. Sadly, so many leave because their first relationship does not go well and they attribute it to the lifestyle (as opposed to the individual). Take the time to read and expand your knowledge base. There are many different facets to BDSM and it is not what is shown on here by the supposed dominants and slaves. |
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The core is where it is at. This is where the purity of one lies. It is where her submission resides. You also find her passion there. Her masochism is also located here. In this place, fear does not exist. It surpasses all that she desired or cherished in the vanilla world. So many approach BDSM with a "vanilla" mindset which causes them problems. The ultimate goal of a relationship in the vanilla world is different from our world. And no I am not referring to power exchange. The difference is in the core. This is what a dominant needs to take. It is the key to her entire being. Get a hold of that and you own her....fail to do so and she is not yours. |
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Too often we look at the long term implications of our interactions instead of sucking all we can out of the present moment. Some people enter our lives and spend decades there while others are only in for a few moments. Enjoy all that you encounter while they are there. Ultimately, we do not know what tomorrow will bring. That person may or may not be there. Therefore, do not wait around for the "right" one to come along...enjoy the ones you encounter in the process in the mean time.
And remember, in life, there is never the right time. Today is all we have. |
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The goal of a BDSM relationship is the happiness and fulfillment of BOTH the dom and sub. Contrary to what many on here believe, a relationship is a two way street. And yes, this includes a BDSM relationship. I am not sure why so many on here have difficulty with this concept. |
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Difference between dominance and abuse:
A dominant seeks to control another to meet his AND her needs....an abuser seeks to control another to meet his needs without the slightest thought of her. |
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Can there really be slavery without depth? Is it even possible? |
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Submit versus surrender...can you have one without the other? What makes BDSM so different from other relationships? The depth. Is it possible to achieve greater depth while bypassing what the traditional seeks? I believe so. When that depth is hit, is she conquered thereby surrendering? The battle wages within herself, pulled in two different directions. The castle surrenders but the troops on the outskirts of the kingdom didnt get the message...the battle is over. |
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BDSM is not different than any other aspect of life. To get what you want, you must first know what that is. And in life, most people dont know what they want. That leads to what Thoreau called a life of "quiet desperation". |
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Respect is a lost art especially around here. So many on the dominant side demand it yet are unwilling to give it. That is why they are total meatheads. People, even submissives, should be interacted with in a respectful way. To do otherwise can be abusive. There is no reason to degrade someone simply because she is submissive. Also, the way we interact with others reflects upon ourselves. If you act like an a**hole, you are telling the world that you truly are a scared little boy not worthy of serious consideration. Go deal with your mommy issues somewhere else. This is a site for adults.
Hold yourself to a high standard and interact with others based upon that standard and you will never be abused. |
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Self esteem is a powerful influence in our lives. So many make the same mistakes because they allow fear to control what they do. Caring about another is a wonderful thing to do. However, it is equally important to care about ourselves. Self worth is a quality which affects every area of our lives. Having value in ourselves means that we do not allow others to walk all over us. Those who lack it open themselves up to all kinds of abusive behavior while also shunning those who are able to bring sunshine into their lives. Opening yourself up to the wonders and gifts that others are bestowing is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Start to value yourself regardless of the way you were treated in the past. The opinions of others means less than your opinion of yourself. You were created worthy, it is the very essence of who you are. |
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When a man of honor leads, then he does so without malice, negativity nor thought of personal gain. It only then that he truly become a Master of others, because in mastery we see a devotion to duty and the needs/desires of others which exceeds the submission slaves give to him.
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All is well in spite of what your thinking tells you.
This is a truth that was taught and passed down throughout the ages in many different disciplines. Internalize this and apply it to your life to notice a drastic shift. |
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Here is a question all submissive ones should ask a perspective dom:
What is the goal of punishment?
If he is genuine, he will understand that punishment is done to alter behavior. It is meant to negative highlight the behavior chosen while also having one understand what is desired.
So remember this:
1. there are many ways to punish outside of paddling/whipping someone.
2. the punishment must be in proportion to the infraction
3. punishment is a part of discipline meaning that sometimes simply talking to one will result in the corrective action.
Be careful with those who cannot answer this question. Too many abusers enter BDSM to cover themselves. If someone is excited and enjoys punishing, I will bet the ranch that one is an abuser and/or woman hater. They are to be avoided at all costs. |
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We use the term 'lifestyle" when talking about BDSM which is misleading. The truth is BDSM is my life. Therefore, I do not focus upon the "whips and chains". That simply is a minor aspect of things. The truth is that taking ownership of a sub/slave means taking ALL of her. When dealing with someone's life, all life skills come into play. Dominating is not about barking out orders but providing a forum for growth. Every aspect of life is applicable including financial, emotional, psychological, physical, and, yes, sexual. For one to be fulfilled growth needs to take place. A dominant needs to be schooled in these areas if he is going to help one reach her potential. Is this something that anyone else even considers? For the most part, no. But is a vital to the development of the relationship. |
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When a dom (especially a master) takes over a sub/slave, he agrees to take ALL of her. This is a key point. Too many only way to take over the things they want while leaving the difficult stuff aside. Yes, it is easy to take her body and own that. The same goes for what she wears, who she interacts with, and how the house is kept. However, what are you going to do with her fears? How are you going to handle that? What about the hangups she has from her past? What are you going to do to navigate through all that? These things are just as much a part of her as her tits and ass. And for those (dominants) who proclaim they want something long term and deep, you better get skilled at dealing with these issues because they are going to be present. |
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I get a kick out of all the subs/slaves who want love, romance, to be treated kindly, and dominated yet also proclaim their submission as a "gift". When one gives a gift, he or she expects nothing in return. Obviously this is not the case with submission. When one submits, she does expect something in return (and rightfully so). She wants to be cherished, cared for and about, treated with respect, screwed, bound, and a host of others things. A BDSM relationship is about both parties being fulfilled.
Also, if submission is truly a gift, then isnt domination the same thing? |
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We each have enough love in us to change the entire world. Too bad most are too afraid to open themselves up and let it out. They are puppets with fear as their puppet masters. |
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I am amused when I read posts about how a sub receives emails from a dominant in response to her notifying him that she is not interested. It seems that many get nasty and vulgar at this. That is interesting to me. It shows no worth and value on the dominants part.
My view is a bit different. When I get an email back from one who is not interested, my thought is simple: her loss. |
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"Life is one continuous mistake." -Dogen Zenji |
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If the universe gives you mostly what you are looking for, it is a good a idea to embrace it and say "Yes" as opposed to saying "no". |
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Connection is and of itself is usually quite pleasurable. |
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Hug those you care about like it is the last time you ever will see them...because it just might be. |
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"There is no mastery in dominating a puppet." -Kacie Cunningham |
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This is something subs should forward to all "dominant" idiots they encounter.
http://dennisnajee.blogspot.com/2014/05/acting-like-everyone-owes-you-something.html |
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"To control another you must first be able to control yourself." -Dennis Najee |
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Boldness, directed by an overruling intelligence is the brand of the hero. |
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I never understood one night stands....if the sex was good, isnt it worth doing again? And again? And again? |
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Rule #1: Submissives are human beings, talk to them like they are.
I am amazed at all the dominants, self titled of course, who believe they have the right to talk down to a submissive/slave without her permission. This isnt being dominant, it is being an a**hole. It is time to learn the difference.
And no, simply because you are a dominant, that does not mean that anyone owes you anything. |
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A dominant's true role is to create in a submissive the feeling of trust that allows her to open up and experience her submission at a more emotional/spiritual level.
Depth is more important than breadth. |
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Do not be trapped by dogma which is living the result of other people's thinking. |
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Some people only come into our lives for an instant; others a few days; and others years.
I often wonder how many of those who enter for a an instant could fit in the years category if it was given a chance. Perhaps missed opportunities. |
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"Resistance to sex is resistance to fatality" -Otto Rank |
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Interesting read....sluts versus slaves.
http://dennisnajee.blogspot.com/2014/05/slaves-versus-sluts.html |
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A submissive craves revealing all. She wants to make her desires known. She yearns to give her fantasies. She needs to share her vulnerabilities. This is what is within her.
One just needs to listen. |
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Many call it a "lifestyle" when, in reality, BDSM is not my lifestyle but, rather, my life! |
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If you dont know what you want, that is the same as wanting nothing. |
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BDSM is the most natural thing in the word since it is based upon inequality. In nature, equality is a non-existent concept. |
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If you live just for today, to make today the most successful, happy day of your life, I am sure that you will have an extraordinary life. A successful life is nothing more than a series of successful days. – Unknown |
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"Just because a dominant can make a sub do something, that doesnt mean he should." |
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"Life is still life and simply because we make a lifestyle choice, that does not exempt us from it." -Dennis Najee |
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If you do not respect your body, why should I?
Consider that in depth and get back to me. |
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Just because a Master can do something doesnt mean he should. |
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Domination and submission are as natural as fire and water. They are part of the world around us. Society has mangled what is natural while promoting the idea that "equality" actually exists. It does not. Nature operates on one principle: survival of the fittest. This is the basic tenet of our world. Yet we are ostracized for following this edict mandated by the universe while the "normies" adhere to a failed social experiment. |
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There is a term in the financial world called "opportunity cost". Basically this refers to the loss of profit that one would have had if money one invest in one asset as opposed to another. The profits missed on the second investment while the money was in the first is the "opportunity cost".
What is the opportunity cost on here? While you are playing around with the pretender, are you missing an opportunity for something real? Consider this deeply. |
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Most people fear depth. They prefer to hide in the shallow and insignificant. Depth requires honesty, both with oneself and another. The first is what people fear most. They believe their own lies. It is easier to buy into the facade the mind creates as opposed to facing our fears and changing. The truth hurts so most opt to completely ignore it.
Character is what is there once everything else is stripped away. Few ever give up the hold on the imagined, never experiencing the stripping away of what isnt there. Hence why we find so few with character. |
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Domination over one is easy when dealing with one who is true. So is submission. There is nothing more natural. It happens without effort. Sadly, when dealing with one who is not truly that, nothing will make it happen. It is an impossible task. |
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Relish uncertainty. The world is always changing all the way down to the smallest molecular level. Embrace this. |
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There are so many who write 'I am now under consideration of such and such and am not allowed to talk to any other doms'.
On this site, if you allow yourself to be isolated, you are a complete fool. This is fake tactic 101. |
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A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is made upon him/her. A slave makes the choice once to submit and then it is incumbent upon him/her to obey. |
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The leap from sub to slave mentally is a huge one. Few in the online world seem to make it successfully. |
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"Laws" and "rules" imposed up you
From days of old renown,
Are not intended for your "good"
But for your crushing down.
-From Might Is Right |
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Submission and dominantion are all about mindset. How come so few realize this? Instead they focus upon the action. Simply baffling. |
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We Are DEVOID Of The MAINSTREAM |
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Submissives seem to complain about the liars and fakes online. In all my years online, I noticed how few go out of their way to appear any different. Based upon percentages, I think the submissives are equally, if not more guilty, of being liars. Male dominants who are fakes are easy to spot-all they talk about is sex. To all submissives who are treated like crap, thank you 'sisters' who preceded you in the online world. Trust is not something we who live this life give very easily. |
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Worst Aftercare Ever
"Oh Crap. I've got a meeting in 30 minutes. Bye" |
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Mind over matter in the BDSM world.
'In my mind your opinion doesnt matter' |
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It is amazing that people want to be respected and treated properly when they are the bastion of rudeness. I can only conclude that common courtesy went out the window with the advent of the Internet. |
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"Only a lifestyle that involves chains can represent freedom" -Dennis Najee
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The most important part of the term "BDSM Relationship" is not BDSM but, rather, relationship. Most of the pretenders on sites like these would be well served to remember that. |
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Pic collectors: one thing I do not understand. Why come to a site like this to collect pics? Hell a google search will yeilds millions of pics of everything imaginable. I dont know, maybe they get more turned on by the idea of chatting with someone who's pic they have.
Just another example of how the Internet opened up the door for all kinds of clowns in the BDSM world. This lifestyle was much different when people actually had to communicate in real time. |
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