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Fit, Mature Male seeking quality sub. I know when a woman needs her hair stroked and to be told gently to be quiet, and when she needsher hairpulled and told to shut up.That there are times when a woman needs to be secured tofeel secure.I understand that the dominant position is earned.I do not rush into things. I am open to a LTR. I have found that when one is trying too hard to makean LTRhappen from the get go, people tend to act less naturally, attempting to be what they perceive the other person wants.I dont want someone to just do what I want, I want them to want what I want.Your fantasy should be to be my fantasy.There is nothing like the deep satisfaction of connecting with someone in these intimate areas.
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Answer to D/s curious woman on vanilla site- may provide insight
I typically only engage in sex with a woman who I have at spent some time with, either corresponding in this fashion, or know socially, and reach the mutual decision. I wouldn't go to a club and do a pickup. It is not as business as that sounds irl, I will flirt and I am socially adept.
But it is very important to me that I do not create unintended expectations, and that no one is diminished in their interactions with me.
I was once told, "I feel more appreciated in a no strings with you than my last 2 boyfriends". I have been fortunate to have some incredibly satisfying experiences.
In my teen years as I was becoming active there were no resources readily available (i.e. Internet) for educating myself in these areas. The BDSM community was there, of course, but out of sight. I was very conflicted with many of my feelings for desiring to take control and ownership. Nice guys aren't supposed to expect a woman to serve him, or to want to spank them, etc.
But I have always thought that my role as a man is to learn the woman, and thoroughly satiate her. Challenge her over time. I know when I am doing it right when I hear, "I can't believe I like that".
My dominance expresses through the type, frequency, and duration of encounters. The BDSM aspect developed after the vanilla avenues were exhausted-if she was still game I would take her as far as needed. This was over time, with typically very inexperienced partners, I have been told I am reassuring and they feel comfortable they are in trustworthy hands. In a good pairing, she is mirroring me, and learning to read my moods, and understands that there will be some days when I "starfish" her, there will be others when I will need to focus on what I need.
I remember being 18 or 19, just moved out and invited to a girl's house I was newly dating. She had prepared an excellent manicotti, and after some wine I honestly blurted out in compliment, "The only way these could be better is if you blow me while I eat". She gave me this look, and her pupils dilated, and we were off to the races, thinking how risqué and daring we were.
Then some years later I was in a relationship that was getting serious and felt terrible about my drives. She asked me, "Why are you holding back?" I said "I can't tell you". 'What do you mean?" "I am not a nice guy". She kept at me, and I unloaded'' Listen, I want to this and that, and expect this and that", and she goes 'you dope I know that I want it too". There is a concept called the "power exchange", (you can google), which is that when the submissive seems to relinquish power by becoming what the dominant wants they are claiming it, because a D can't be a D without an S. There is no taking, it is sharing.
Now, the contrast to all this stumbling through the dark is a younger woman who I was seeing a few years ago who had grown up with the Internet as her sex instructor. "OK, I like hair pulling, face slapping, breath control, gagging, call me names- I like them all, except "cunt"- I don't know why, I should but I don't. ATM if I am really worked up, but I will let you know. I like a chest harness for rag doll and sometimes predicament bondage". I answered "Ok", but was thinking, "Wow, these proclivities are usually 20 years in the making".
In my opinion D/s and other orientations can be as primary and integral as gender. I am as miserable in vanilla as others are in the closet. I think that this is the answer to the otherwise smart and normal women I have known who have a parade of dipshit boyfriends- the dipshits are the ones that are pushing those deep, often unconscious buttons. Especially the smarter / more attractive ones, who are very often so indulged by men wanting to bang them they don't respect any of them. I am writing this on a tablet in a hotel with shitty wifi and this program is not great at editing, so hopefully my almost stream of consciousness will make some sense. |
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I was living with a girl, and we never let an erection go unappreciated. The normal schedule was a fuck first thing in the am, another fuck or bj in the shower depending on our schedule, often we would meet at lunch, then a hard 3 hole banging after I got home from work. And if she noticed a nocturnal erection I would get a 3am. Out socially she would find ways to sneakily graze my crotch with her arm, hand or hip and if she felt anything smuggle me off to somewhere.
I have a business that requires some travel, and was on a 7 day trip that turned into 23, and not for good reasons, lots of problems to deal with. I ended up not ejaculating the whole trip. Once the trouble was solved and the adrenalin backed off a bit, I was perpetually half hard and slightly dripping. When boarding the plane I was helping a lady put her carry on in the overhead, and a female flight attendant had to squeeze by- her ass to my crotch. In the four little side steps she needed to rub by I went full on. She got my attention, and I got hers, including a free beer.
My gf and I had a welcome back thing where I would drive from the airport and she would hold my cock in her mouth. (going away ritual was a BJ in the parking structure- pre-911 things weren't so tense) This time I knew it was risky but we did it anyway, all was well until a patch of broken pavement, then the bouncing of the little Toyota made her head slide up and down and I started coming and she started swallowing, and I was quickly winning. I am normally a 2 to 3 pulse, not huge amounts, but this time it just wouldn't stop, like a movie or cartoon. She also said the consistency was thicker than usual therefore tougher to swallow- anyway, realizing this was not normal she backed off so that only the end of the head was in her mouth for more room, which was smart and worked for a couple of pulses but then she was simply at capacity- (a small mouthed girl that never could deep throat but wanted to), and it started squirting out around the edges like an aterial wound, with each pulse like a heartbeat. While this is going on below the dashboard I am trying to keep from wrecking the car and near overwhelmed by the sensations. The ease of the contractions when there was that much fluid to move was deeply satisfying. It was night, I pulled over & set the emergency flashers, wiped the cum on her face into her mouth, (after she stirred it with her tongue to mix in enough saliva to get it down), and said, "Can you tell I missed you?" We spent the rest of the ride home laughing as she licked up what was all over my shaft & balls. I was hard again by the time we reached there.
That then became a usual thing. |
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I went to a comedy show at the Bagdad last Friday.
There was a female comic, one of her bits
" I think there are more than 2 sexual orientations, I am not Bi, I am a Tri-
Triceratops, or more accurately' a Triceraswitch"
She seemed surprised and commented about the big laugh the bdsm reference joke got. |
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| Age: 23 |
| Los Angeles,
California |
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