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| I'm only beginning to explore a part of me through sex that is self-negating. I am seeking a woman who will indulge my need to be rejected and to obtain what's rejecting me. Without getting into too much detail, what I need is a woman who will resist and show rejection of me even as I pursue and conquer her. The name of the game is degradation. Make faces at me, call me ugly names, threaten to get someone like a male friend, ex or current lover or the cops to come punish me, and push and fight back as I use you.
I'm discovering that my superego is telling my id that its wants and needs are "bad, gross, wrong, evil" and then I punish myself for even wanting sex. I need to hear that voice come from YOU while it also comes from my own head so that I can take what I want even though it's so evil and wrong. I want you to hate me as hard as you can while I force you to take me.
I hope that's not too intense! Like I said, I'm just beginning to explore this.
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