Quasi-random thought of the hour:

Also, I know I don't have any nude pictures.  It's not that I'm modest, I just don't see much point.

Seriously!

When is the LAST TIME you heard a woman say

I saw his cock.

It filled my dreams

That is when I knew...

I HAD to have the man connected to THAT penis!

(It helps if you try to imagine it sounding like a commercial for Obsession body spray)

Or this "classic"?

(Wouldn't it be sad if this actually become a classic?)

The man of my dreams.

Everything was perfect.

Then...

I...  I saw... IT!!!!

The worst thing I have ever beheld in my entire life.  It made me lose all will to live.  It was as if someone told me that the Meaning of Life was to make mulch for some other-worldly plant that would be thrown out tomorrow because it was the wrong color!

Bottom line is that you have to talk to people.

Sorry, not much as far as magical shortcuts.