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I am always fascinated by the liberties taken in terming something "free." I am trying to expand this personal statement over the next week or so. Please be aware that this is currently undergoing revisions.
Phyisical Attributes
I am pliable, think that contortion is sexy, and have never dated someone more flexible than I am. I'd like to, though.
I prefer tall women. I think that anyone taller than 6' may look silly walking around with me, but I dated a girl that height and liked it. This is not required; I have dated a girl who was 5'2", and that was fine.
At the risk of sounding shallow, I'm really looking for someone whose height and weight are proportionate. If you aren't certain about that, the Body Mass Index may be a useful tool with which to begin your inquiries.
I don't smoke, and would definately prefer a partner who doesn't. I do drink sometimes.
BDSM Predilections
I would like to begin by saying that I have preferences in the sort of scenes that I top, but am willing to do plenty of things that don't turn me on directly if asked nicely. I am also very accepting of many, many kinks.
I like rope bondage, and I like pain. I also like endurance bondage and sensory deprivation, but don't really have much experience in those activities yet. I am good at verbal humiliation, but don't really seek out opportunities to top that sort of stuff. I also like discipline and sanctions. I prefer to engage in this sort of play in the context of a relationship, however (we don't have to be married, but I don't really want to do it on the first date, either).
I am willing to take slavery as far as desired, but I take the whole power-exchange thing very seriously, and won't involve myself in it lightly at all. I have been in a long-lasting relationship like that, and found it very taxing. I found it quite rewarding as well, and it is certainly something that I would like to have in my life again someday, but Ownership is a responsibility that I only want to accept for a very special person.
I would like to clarify this a little more. In my experience the qualities that make good Tops/Doms/Masters are the same ones that make good bottoms/subs/slaves. They are also things that make for successful vanilla relationships. I think that D/s relationships need to be able to function as vanilla ones before things progress to collaring. Honesty, communication, and trust are fundemental to any relationship, from friendship to marriage and beyond.
I am not looking for a doormat sub. Kneeling before me and calling me "Master" doesn't make it so! I find it mildly offensive to see the nature of a Master/slave bond trivialized that way. I should earn a sub's trust and supplication, and they should earn my acceptance of responsibility for them and the right to truly let themselves surrender to me. And it should be comfortable and natural for both of us. I think that the effort and devotion put into a relationship are the measure of its worth.
I am also looking for strong and intelligent subs. I want someone to give themselves gracefully because they are drawn toward me, not throw themselves at me clumsily in an attempt to escape from something else.
A power-exchange relationship satisfies a desire of mine that I wouldn't wish to disregard even if I could. At its best, however, I think that it strengthens both of the people in it. But that requires something very special from both participants. I'm looking for someone who can match my contribution to our efforts together, regardless of the degree of commitment that we ultimately have to eachother. I think that the following are a good set of guidelines for the prerequisites that I expect for each level of power-exchange: You must be aware of and open about what you want to be a bottom; you must be in control of yourself to be a sub; and you must be a capable partner before you can be an acceptable slave.
One other thing that I think is important to mention is this: I am not perfect and I admit it. I make mistakes. Sometimes my submissive argues with me, and I listen to her side of the story. If that makes me seem less fit to be a Dom to you, I would really like to discuss it.
All of this may give the impression that I am a candle-lit dinner, fuzzy-handcuffs sort of Dom. That is very, very far from the truth of the matter. In fact, it is the severity of my interests that leads to my caution in entering relationships of power-exchange. I can, in point of fact, be very domineering and quite intimidating, but at the end of the day I still want to be a person dominating another person rather than some bizarre charicature of a slave-driver flogging a mindless creature bereft of desires. After all, I think that the best of us comes out when our desires conquer our perceived limitations...
I like discussing things one-on-one. E-mail me if you wish to know more than I have written here.
I also hate writing profiles, and am bad at it. If you notice something missing that you think should be included here, I am certainly open to suggestions.
Feel free to send me a message just to let me know that someone is reading this.
Thanks for stopping by.
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