I wrote this one day when I was bored. It felt good to get in down on "Paper" if you will. It's not very good, I'm not a professional writer by any means. :) So here's a little insight into me as a submissive:
My Master would be strong and firm, able to put me in my place when I try to push the boundaries. I like to test my master sometimes… But he would always put me back in my place. I’m a submissive and he is the Dominant, we both have roles in which we belong, roles in which we NEED to live to feel complete.
My Master would also be gentle, kind and caring too, able to make me feel cherished and loved, able to cuddle and calm me down after a harsh punishment. Kiss me and tell me it’s alright, that I did well and that I’m a good girl. Special moments in which I would cherish and keep close to my heart.
_______________________________________________________________
This is something that I wrote about, a fantasy of an aspect of the relationship, and an insight into the kind of Dom/Master I want:
I know I’ve been bad the moment it happens, and he does too. He doesn’t have to tell me I was bad, the way he looks at me says it all. I’m doomed… the one raised eyebrow, the look in his eyes, disapproval marks his face. I call it “the Dom look”. I had said the wrong thing, stepped to far over the line this time. He had warned me of punishment, told me of the many possibilities of what he could do. I was testing him though. I had only known him for a little while and I wanted to see how far I could push him and get away with it. I had found the line and successfully crossed it. YIKES! It would be a good time to run and hide but it didn’t matter if I ran. He’d catch me anyway and the consequences would be worse it I ran. I stood my ground, terrified and shaking, glued to my spot on the floor. My feet wouldn’t work even if I wanted them to. “You know what happens now, don’t you?” he said. I nodded. “I warned you didn’t I?” he asks. I nod again. Words don’t seem to want to come out my mouth right now. I should apologize, and beg for forgiveness but I don’t, I’m too proud and stubborn. “Let’s go” He says. I shake my head, I was only making it worse but I was still testing him. He steps toward me and I step back. He reaches for me and I stumble backwards. My lack of balance was what cost me. He grabs the back of my neck and I’m stuck. His grip isn’t mean or particularly painful, just firm and controlling. I don’t try to fight I’m stuck and I know it. Excitement boils my blood and terror runs through my body. He pushes me forward and I comply.
He leads me down the hall to a room. He pushes the door open then gently pushes me inside. The rooms almost bare, the toys or torture instruments in some hidden place. All that’s in here is a hook in the ceiling and a table by the wall. I stand there petrified. ‘What did you do now?’ I think to myself. The lock sliding into place echoes in the quiet room. “Strip” He says. I shake my head. He steps in front of me grabs my chin and firmly says “Strip or I’ll cut the clothes off you myself.” I was wearing my favorite shirt, with trembling hands I pull my clothes off. He pulls a table into the center of the room. ‘A table?’ I thought. Funny how house hold s can be turned into torture instruments... I would never again think of a table the same way. The table was modified, ankle cuffs attached to the legs and wrist cuffs attached to the center of the table. Once undressed he points to the spot in front of the table, I hesitated and he raised his eyebrow. I shuffle my way to the spot he pointed to. He attaches the cuffs to my ankles and before leaning me over and attaching the cuffs to my wrist he looks at me and say “you’ve disappointed me, slave.” That hurts the most, knowing I had displeased him. Then he puts a hand on my shoulder blades and pushes me forwarded causing me to lean over. The tables tall enough that I have to stand on my tippy toes to lean over it and the wrist cuffs are higher than I thought; so I’m stretched out completely. I tugged on the restrains and found I was truly stuck. I was at his mercy completely. The thought thrilled me but also scared me. I heard footsteps and tried to follow his movements but it was difficult with the limited movement I had. He touched my back and I startled. “Fifteen” He said. I swallowed hard… ‘Fifteen with what; a paddle, a whip, a cane?’ I thought. But I didn’t dare speak.
I got no warning when the first one hit. I jerked; gasped and pulled at the restrains but they didn’t give an inch. He was using a paddle and it hurt! The second one hurt more they the first one though and I tugged hard on the restrains. By five I had given up all hope of getting away and just gave up. I closed my eyes and counted in my head. By the time he finished my bottom was on fire and I had tears slowly running down my face.
When he finishes he rubs some cream into my bottom and undoes the restrains and helped me up. He pointed to the ground in front of him and a dropped to my knees before him. “Apologize, Slave.” He said. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, master.” I said. “Good girl” He said. He helps me up from my knees.
We walk out of the play room and into the living room where he sits down and pulls me down next to him. Cuddling me close, I lay down, my head on his lap he rubs my back and plays with my hair. “You took your punishment very well, pet” He says. “I’m proud of you.” Hearing him say that fills me with joy and I can’t help but smile. “Thank you, Sir.” I say softly. “Did you learn a lesson from this?” He asks. “Yes, Sir.” I say. “But you’ll do it again, won’t you, pet. Always have to test me occasionally to see what I’ll do, don’t you.” He says and I hear him chuckle softly. I peek up of him, He has a smile on his face looking down at me, the love and affection reflects in his eyes as he looks at me. And I feel the same way about him. ‘Yes, this is where I belong” I think, snuggling in closer to him completely content to lay here.
_________________________________________________________________________________
But the lifestyles not all about punishment, no, it’s about pleasure too! Pleasure in pleasing my Master completely, Knowing he is happy brings on a feeling like no other. Hearing him tell me I did a good job that I was a good girl fills me with complete joy. Pleasure for a submissive doesn’t always come from sex… No it comes from the knowledge that I have completely, without a doubt pleased my Master! I crave that feeling to the point that is too strong for words. I need to please, need to hear I was a good girl. I need a Master almost as much as I need air to breathe!
The sex is just a bonus, a reward for being good and pleasing him. The sex brings a thrill with it because it’s not just sex. It’s the bond between us being tested. I have to completely trust my Master because this sex isn’t just sex. I become helpless as he ties me up, takes away my movement and sometimes my sight and ability to talk. I have to trust him not to hurt me or take advantage of me. And I would, without a doubt I would trust him completely. I crave that bond, and that trust. I crave that helplessness because along with that helplessness comes the feeling of complete freedom. I am free, all I have to do is feel what he’s doing, listen to his commands and obey what he says.
Along with pleasure, pain, trust, and an unbreakable bond comes everything that a regular relationship has. Love… being cherished and cared for… I need him and he needs me! But we have a bond like no normal relationship has, we talk more about what we want, need, and crave. We have a better connection between us than any other relationship ever will. This is what I crave.
Yes, this lifestyle is like no other lifestyle, most people don’t understand the lifestyle… But it’s something I can’t live without… I need to please; I need that bond and trust. I need everything that goes along with this lifestyle.
I have submissive desires; I wish to please my Master in every way possible. He may use me to get his pleasure because I know it pleases him to do so and I know he will never hurt me. The bond between Dom and Submissive is like no other. A special relationship that only a few ever get the privilege to fully experience and understand, I hope I am one of the lucky ones. :)
The End.