Heres a glossary of the types of profiles ive come across on here so far. Can you catagorize more?
1. "The Catalogue picture - cutter n paster" Only has one picture of a female dominant that looks amazing = SYNOPSIS: Dude pretending to be a woman. Usually asking for money before they do anything!! ACTION: Avoid at all costs, DO NOT give them your money.
2. "Essay in a cave" Has an essay written in her profile about how amazing she is, and the requirements you must meet in order to get any where near her. Usually wants gifts or something off her wish list before she even talks with you. SYNOPSIS: Woman with her head so far up her ass she decided she needed to put a book in her profile. 1000s words where 100 was more than enough!! ACTION: Dont waste the energy in your fingers to write a text to them.
3. "The time waster". You have some rapor and things are going well. You exchange numbers and even talk on the phone. Then you never hear from them again. SYNOPSIS: "I got your number, so i won that one....let me sit here for a moment while i stroke my ego and look smug...Now lets see who elses time i can waste" ACTION: Fire them the bird and put them on block list, so that years from now when they cant understand why they had no fun or met anyone and decide maybe it was a little rude, your door is fully closed..
4. "The Rude Girl" You text to be friendly and say hello. Sort of using the site as it was intended. Shortness and rudeness is the reply. SYNOPSIS: Probably a psycho, if you are a sub and fall into these type of hands, you will usually end up regretting it. ACTION: Run, Run, Run away, as fast as you can!
5. "Broken Mic, Broken Cam Girl" - See number 3.
6. "The mental Jackrussel" Goes from one shiny thing to another shiny thing. Mesmorised in her own fairy tail dream land. Much like a Jack Russel terrier with two tennis balls...."Get the ball, get the ball" OMG "theres another!!! Get it Get it" OMG theres another...Get the ball Get the ball....so on and so on...SYNOPSIS: Absolute mental case, Not enough attention span or Focus to have a conversation or even part of one. ACTION: Sharp Blow to back of the head, you would be doing it a favour.
7. "The Demented Polar Bear" Aka "The stuck record" Ever See a polar bear at the zoo. It goes through a cycle of pacing forward and backward shaking its head from side to side... over and over... all day, everyday, then wonders why each day is the same. These people repeat the same routines, in there approaches, dialogue and content. And bitch about why they didnt meet anyone yet. If you approach them, they give little, the sing the same song in there profiles over and over, bitch and moan and repeat the same for each day. SYNOPSIS: Too much in there own heads to get anything together....meet others lmao. They havnt even met themselves yet. ACTION: Same as 6.
8. The "I dont show my face" Domme. They usually show pictures of there feet, there boots and where there is a headshot its blurred over or so grainy you cant make anything out. Fine if they are willing to send a headshot soon after intial exchange. If not this must tell you something. SYNOPSIS: An unwillingness to show something, means you have something to hide. Chances are this person should be looking for a meeting with Quasimodo, as that would be a perfect pearing. ACTION: Run as fast as you can as soon as you can unless you want to give yourself to a hunchbacked rotweiler that hides behind a keyboard chewing on wasps and half sucked lemons.
9. The "Flexible as stone" profile. I dont like this, this, this, or this. I only like that, that, that, and that. Dont contact me unless you are 7 foot tall, own a ferrari dealership and look like brad pit. You must be aged between x and x, be a descendant of King Arthur Pendragon, a scorpio and like throwing your millions of pounds at spoilt brats who give you nothing in return. Oh yea and when you break wind, it should smell like a summers day. SYNOPSIS: Will never meet anyone on here, and most likely nor in real life. The world is a dark place when your heads burried this deep. ACTION: For real???
10. "The diamond". Down to earth, friendly and Authentic. Can and will voice verify. Dosnt take it all too seriously and has a life outside of collarme and BDSM. SYNOPSIS: Like drops of water in the desert but they do exist. Finding them however is difficult but once you have, it makes putting up with 1 through 9 worth it....Just about :) ACTION: Grab them quick, get there contact details and add to messenger list. Expanding your network, gives you a larger potential for meetings and fun in the real world!! Enjoy them and let 1 - 8 enjoy each other :)
