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I am mature, experienced, intelligent, authentic, creative and versatile.
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(My answers to the questionnaire in the profile reflect my interests and experiences as a submissive).
As a Dom/sub switch, the experience in one role helps me better understand the desires and motivations of the person in the other. I believe this makes me a better submissive. When serving a Dominant, I know my place and always act accordingly.
I am a youthful looking Caucasian man, age 58. I enjoy being of service to anyone without regard to age, race, gender or sexual orientation. All that is required is "Kink Compatibility" and a good match-up of personalities.
However, I do have a strong attraction to people of other races and particularly like to serve younger Dominants. My last relationship was with a Mistress, age 26 and from Japan. We were together for 2 years but, as happens, we grew apart.
While BDSM play can engender strong positive feelings toward one another, I do not expect a romantic relationship, but am not opposed to one either. While I am available to serve a Dominant's sexual needs in a variety of ways, I do not expect or need reciprocation. I am content to self-pleasure, when that is permitted.
Ideally, I would like us to get to know each other well and develop a mutual understanding of what we can do to meet the deep needs this type of relationship can fulfill. I will submit more fully to someone I have learned to trust and who ultimately has our best interests at heart. That, I'm sure you know, takes time.
But don't get the wrong idea. BDSM can be done just for fun and a casual play date can be just the thing that is needed. In fact, I will be grateful for any time you grant me. I will be pleased to provide almost any kind of service you require of me to the best of my abilities.
However, I am not looking for an extremely distant, excessively sadistic or overly demanding Dominant. I am not, and will never be, a slave.
I want to allow myself to surrender my power for a time to someone responsibly (safe, sane, consensual always) and to be treated in a way that is denigrating and humiliating. How it works for me is to experience being vulnerable and exposing the most embarrassing aspects of myself and yet still be accepted and treated warmly after the scene. Ultimately, I find BDSM to be a healing experience when done in this way.
Please, feel free to contact me. I am always available for friendly chat or to explore our mutual interests.
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I don't get on here much, but now that I've moved to Portland, I'll be looking for new friends on the site. Don't be shy about saying hello. Thanks to the folks who already have.
I just want to know what the hell happened to that guy who contacted me looking for a master and then disappeared when I started talking about having someone clean my car with their tongue. Hey -- it's body worship, right? -- except instead of my body, its the body of my Mazda Protege!
Please understand, I'm not always serious about stuff like that -- except, of course, when I am. :)
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Common Issues: My View
I would like to offer a perspective on some common issues Dominants and submissives can experience. I'm open to hearing other views, corrections you might offer, experiences you have had that echo or even amplify the perspective presented here and additional points to consider. I am no expert at this but I have learned one or two things along the way that seemed to make sense to me and at least a few others at the time.
To Be Submissive
Some submissives think BDSM is about acting out their kinky fantasies in pursuit of their own sexual pleasure. Rather than focusing on their own desires, a submissive should be listening to learn the needs of the Dominant and providing service to him or her as best as they can.
In turn, the submissive may be rewarded with pleasure beyond that of simply being of service. They may even be rewarded with the gift of pain.
The Gift of Pain
Pain can be given just for the pleasure of the Dominant, respecting, of course, the limits of the submissive. With an understanding of the desires of the submissive, it can also be a reward for good service. That is why I call it "the gift of pain".
The Price of Disobedience
Some submissives play the silly game of being disobedient in hopes of receiving pain or punishment. Unless that is the role-play the Dominant desires, this is utter foolishness.
In my opinion, the proper punishment for misbehavior is to be banished from the presence of the Dominant. Depending on the offense, after a period of time, the submissive might be allowed to offer an apology that details their understanding of what specifically they did wrong. If the apology is done well, the submissive could then once again be allowed to be of service to the Dominant.
Dealing with Rejection
Is is said that too many people's response to failure is to not only keep doing the same thing over and over, but also to do it louder and longer!
It is also said that if we try hard enough, we can make happen what we fear the most; to be unwanted and unloved. If that is how you feel too often and with too many people, you are advised to figure out exactly what you are doing to make that happen.
If it is rooted in an unhappy childhood (and every child deserves to feel wanted and loved), find a way to deal with it that doesn't draw people into your continuing drama of overwhelming neediness and sense of victimhood.
Don't be beggar. Don't be a pest.
Unwanted offers of submission and begging to serve after clearly being turned down will definitely not get you what you want. Don't be beggar and don't be a pest. Your persistence only proves that you are too selfish and too insensitive to be of any use as a submissive.
If you ask with honest intention and with sufficient humility, you might be able to learn from other folks what you need to do differently to be considered as worthy of attention and consideration.
Of course, if you have been an utter idiot and an insufferable asshole, you will likely be seen as beyond redemption. It's best then to just move on.
BDSM as a Healing Experience
BDSM is not abuse and is a poor choice for dealing with having been abused. If you have experienced abuse, you are well advised to find a more suitable way to deal with that painful experience. Dominants are well advised to screen people before taking them on as a submissive and be wary of people with a history of abuse.
Otherwise, I believe that BDSM can be a healing experience for many. How that can happen as a submissive is to surrender power responsibly (safe, sane, consensual always) and experience being vulnerable, exposing the most embarrassing aspects of yourself and then experience being accepted, treated warmly and even nurtured by the Dominant after the scene. Aftercare is an important part of BDSM.
If ever fortunate enough to be in service to a Dominant, understand your role, be earnest in striving to fulfill it, and your fantasy, and a greater sense of wholeness and integration, may become reality.
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| Age: 29 |
| Providence,
Rhode Island |
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