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"Pray that your lonliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for." |
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I gave my bike to my daughter because she uses it more then I do and she grew out of hers. We gave her old bike to me son. So today I go buy a new one, brand new. We go to the store lock them up and some assclown steels my f'n bike! I am so pissed off at ass f*%$s. So once again I am without a bike. People wonder why I hate most people.. |
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It would seem as if collar me ate my pics? I have to wait for approval again I guess. |
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Today he offers me a gift. It is a sweet thought and I appreciate it, however I can not accept it in good conscience. It is not right to continue to take advantage of what he has left to offer me. It is so hard for me, because what he can offer vs. what I need from him are too completely different things. |
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I have a new pic of course I have to wait before it can be seen :)
Seperate topic:
He is the one who protects me, "loves" me, is my closest friend. He will be by my side at a moments notice, he will provide for me in every way. He will never lay his armour down, in fear of what we all fear - hurt. |
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I have met self centered people, but today I was broadsided by someone I never expected to be so severely that way. I cried it was awful. How is one supposed to trust?? |
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Back from Seattle, another whirl wind trip. It was great to see my loved ones there and good friends as well. It started to snow the day I left and all the flights were late, it sucked. I am going back in March. :) |
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I am off to Seattle tomorrow to see family and friends. My friend that has moved to Italy is here and will make the trip up to Seattle as well. I am really looking forward to this trip. I love my home town!! I feel like I have missed out on a huge part of my life by leaving there to begin with. Someday I will call it home once again :) |
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I have once again, been conned into the hope of a relationship with, who I thought, was a wonderful Master. I took some time away because it seemed to be going well, until a little ripple in the pond appeared. So here I am again. Seeing what can possibly come of this site, so far strike two! Hopefully there is a 'real' man out there somewhere.. I have yet to find him. |
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The poem my daughter wrote for my friends funeral. We read it at the service.
Like the footprints
In the sand
You know where there has been,
a beautiful soul.
The air sparkles
Ever with reminders;
of their radience,
However small.
Where there has been
a beautiful soul
Will remain always
beautiful memories.
As the stars sparkle
Endless and countless
some souls cannotbe measured
their courage,
strength
and love
They touch us ever lightly
and on they live forever
In our hearts.
Where there has been
a beautiful soul
Will remain always
beautiful memories.
~dedicated to Lynn 9/24/07
I will remember you always.
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"Where ever a beautiful soul has been, there is a trail of beautiful memories."
Dedicated to my dear friend Lynn R who passed away 9/15. I truly love and miss you darlin'.
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"Razor"
Lived a lie
Inside my head
I'd never cry
You know I did
I'd give it away
To know what to say
When I'm stuck on the edge
Would you push me off?
Would you do me a favor?
Lend me a Razor
I'll be sitting in my corner
Carving in the floor
About how much I miss him
I don't miss him anymore.
Living a lie
Inside my head
I'd never cry
You know I did
I'd give it away
To know what to say
When I'm asking for the help
That you seem to give away
Would you lend me a razor?
I'll be carving in the floor
About how much I miss him
How I miss him ever more.
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I just have to add, I do not like the way these jounal entries post!!
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You
ask; i try to answer
You touch; i respond
You speak; it radiates through me
A whisper sought so long
A hungers flowing rush
i tell You only truth
i respect all that You are
Give You all that i am
Trust You with my life,
my body, my mind
Never doing this before
You swim through my thoughts
Like constant crashing waves
i was made to
To call You by name..
Master
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"Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for." Dag Hammarskjold
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With my own hands I made is,
That unique vessel
With my own breath
I perfected all it’s curves
Like the most celebrated
Master glass blower
Until life pulsed in its veins
More and more faintly; scarcely a flicker,
“What a funny gift” says my lover
and taps lightly on the thin glass;
he taps it with his hand
to check on its quality
to see if it’s worth
even a glance
“Ah” he says accepting the gift,
smashing it into splinters,
to smithereens,
“Be a good girl; do me a favour
and step on them with your bare feet-
like this, darling; yes, that’s the way’.
But be careful now, and smile too
And above all do not bleed!”
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