== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==

I took the test to see where I score on the BDSM scale. I am not surprised I am as vanilla as I am. I enjoy kinky fuckery, but I like my day to day life to be like smooth sailing on calm waters LOL. Boring I know, but I had enough excitement as kid with my crazy family to last me a lifetime.
Surprisingly, I have never been that sexually imaginative. I've also never had a kinky partner and that makes all the difference I think. However, what I lack in imagination, I try to make up for in passion and enthusiasm :D

== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/

 ==
100% Experimentalist
100% Submissive
88% Bondage Receiver
72% Brat
59% Girl/Boy
54% Switch
53% Primal (Prey)
50% Primal (Predator)
50% Vanilla
50% Voyeur
45% Non-monogamist
33% Daddy/Mommy
29% Masochist
25% Exhibitionist
22% Brat Tamer
16% Bondage Giver
16% Dominant
16% Sadist
0% All-Rounder
0% Degradation Giver
0% Degradation Receiver
0% Master/Mistress
0% Pervert
0% Slave

ABOUT BEING PRIMAL......

Michael Makai has a test to see how Primal you are and this is my score.

You have reached 37 of 50 points, (74%)

You lean heavily Primal. You give in to your animalistic impulses and instincts more often than not, but you still maintain a foundation of civility and reason which sometimes tempers your Primal side. There’s never a dull moment with you for your partners, and they will often have the marks to prove it.

What an anchor does for me as an empath intuitive person.

Article about a man with two penises.

http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/man-b…

here's an article with a man that was born with two penises. They even show pictures. That's got to be one hell of an interesting experience having sex with him lol they both work too.

How to Message a person on Fetlife by Tidewaterdom

This man is AMAZING!!!! His writing is Spot On!!!! This is a MUST read for Everyone, especially anyone that thinks they are a Dom/Master, etc.

How to Message a person on Fetlife by Tidewaterdom
https://fetlife.com/users/789912/posts/2674835

What is it with people and their fucking fragrances, perfumes and colognes!!!

KNOW This the Next time you put on your perfume/colognes....SOME people, like myself are actually ALLERGIC to it!!!!
You Literally make me SICK just being in close proximity to you, or if I walk past you and your cloud of stink lingers!!!

Take a bath/shower use soap, deodorant and lotion, but wait! Those have fragrance in them too :(  But Most normal stuff wears off and is not harmful to me unless I rub my face on your skin. 
Of course those of you that bath in perfume must also use the stinkiest deodorants and lotions and soaps as well!!! Its cumulative people!!! You Do NOT Need that much fragrance to cover your personal stink!!

I am in the throws of an asthma attack because one of you fucktards came into my office smelling like a French bordello!
UGHHH I HATE PEOPLE!!!

For the women who don't give a fuck.............

Great blog post: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/this-is-for-…

This is for the women who don’t give a fuck.
The women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea.
The women who drink too much whisky, stay up too late and have sex like they mean it.
The women who know they aren't sluts because they enjoy sex, but human beings with a healthy sexual appetite.
The women who will ask you for what they need in bed.
This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls.
The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts.
The ones who wear “night make up” in the morning or don’t own mascara.
The women who know their worth, who plant their feet and roar in their brilliance.
The women who aren't afraid to tell a man to get the fuck out of her heart if he doesn't honor her heart.
This is for the women who rock combat boots with frilly skirts.
The women who swear like truck drivers.
The women who hold the people who harass or wrong them with fierce accountability.
The women who flip gender norms and false limitations the bird and live to run successful companies giving “the man” a run for his name.
The ones who don’t find their success a compliment just because they have a vagina.
Women like Gloria Steinem who, when she was told, “We want a writer, not a woman. Go home,” kept writing anyway.
This is for the women who drink coffee at midnight and wine in the morning, and dare you to question it.
For the women who open doors for men and are confident enough to have doors opened for them.
Who use “no” to be in service for themselves.
Who don’t give a damn about pleasing the world, and do sweetly as they wish.
For the superheroes—the single moms who work three jobs to make it. I salute your resilient, cape-flapping, ambitious selves.
This is for the women who throw down what they love, and don’t waste time following society’s pressures to exist behind a white picket fence.
The women who create wildly, unbalanced, ferociously and in a blur at times.
The women who know how to be busy and know how to plant their feet in the earth and get grounded.
These are the women I want around me.

What Race Are You?

I had the most wonderful conversation with an older Caucasian woman, Lina, this morning. She talked of how she lived here in the south when the US was desegregated. She worked with an African American woman and they became friends. She said to her co-worker friend one day, "Hey lets go have lunch" and she was given a response that floored her. Her friend said "We can't go eat out Together!!!" Lina said "Sure we can!" They did go out for lunch, but her friend was very uncomfortable and understandably so as the Federal Gov't said no more segregation but the south was still voluntarily segregated Lina didn't believe in separating God's children. She still believes we are all meant to live in peace with one another. Her parents were bigoted. Where she got her loving caring free spirit was not from her family that's for sure. She told me of a day at church where a family with a mixed child came for the first time and expressed a desire to attend. Both Black & White churches had refused them. She described an instant kinship with the little mixed girl. The family had told the church members they wanted and needed a church and Godly teachings in their lives, but nobody would accept them because of the child How far we have come and how far we have yet to go. Let's keep our eye on the prize, the goal being a United world where race is a thing of the past. Where Human is the only race listed or accepted anymore. I say we all start answering the question of Race with Other and if given the opportunity we list HUMAN as the answer!

I received some really enlightened responses. I also received some of the MOST RACIST CLOSED MINDED responses :(
Some people will stay stuck where they are. I Choose otherwise. I don't argue with ignorance.

6 Crazy Things People Used To Believe About Vaginas

I am speaking from the heart here, because I have experienced this Several times in the past month :( Not just from here but from other sites as well.

My heart Always hurts for anyone that has lost a love. Those of you dealing with this issue always seem to find me. I always offer you my friendship. I listen to your tale(s) of woe.
Then I try to move the conversation and friendship forward. I don't want to listen to you go on about your ex. This is harder to do when death is involved. But you are better off talking to someone that Knew that person, then you are to me in this case.
I am not interested in becoming emotionally or physically involved with you. You are NOT in a good headspace No Matter What You Think. You are Not yet ready to move on to find your next partner. You have Not healed your body,mind and soul. You are broken in a sense, whether you see it or want to admit it. Until You reconcile your Hurt you will not be good for anyone you become involved with unless they are a total fucking mess.
I am NOT a total fucking mess. I'm just a regular kind of mess LOL. You end up judging me by whatever fucked up stuff is happening in your head, because you are hurting. Its normal, but not good on the receiving end :( I have been on both giving and receiving ends of this so I know. Its a we are all human kinda thing or experience and quite common.
No Matter How Much You Are Hurting.......Its Not okay to hurt, whether intentional or not, my feelings or insult me, because you are hurting and adjusting to your new singleness and I don't measure up to the Ex You Lost, etc. Do You stop and think that when we first talk on the phone I am nervous as hell and chatter on Because of that?? I am empathic intuitive. I am getting the judging vibes and it makes it worse so I chatter more. I then beat myself mentally afterwards for being nervous and talking too much. I mean why should I care what you think of me? You're a stranger, but your judgement stings nonetheless. Its a vicious circle. Can't do this with any of you anymore. Sigh...
Ugh I got my own shit, aka life, going on. I've done tons of personal growth work over the past few decades, I'm old lol. I already know most of my flaws. I am seeking to move forward in my life with someone that will accept me flaws and all in a POSITIVE way, not a critical way. You cannot do so, at least the way I am seeking to, by Creating Something New and Wonderful :) , Because you are healing your past that is newly raw.
So from here on in I am keeping those of you recovering from recent loss at arms length for my own self preservation.
PS: I've chosen this forum to say all this, because its my hope that you will HEAR it and not just react to it and blow it off..........

Today's Mentality of "Relationships" as Disposable

Wonderful Article about dealing with Herpes

Dear Dom, be Gracious when a sub offers up a Polite No.

Just because you are a Dom and I'm a sub does not Entitle You to ME!!!!
WTF is up with the male Dom's? Why is it that when a male Dom, I Don't Know, asks me to be their sub & I politely say no (I do have my reasons), I am berated from the benign to the malicious?? This has happened to me on here, FaceBook, BikerOrNot and a other sites as well. WTH? Are we not grown ups??
Get your damn EGO out of this equation!!! It has NO PLACE HERE!!
You being an ass, to whatever degree, doesn't change my mind for the better. I just think you're an asshole bully now :( Is that Really what you are seeking or maybe you really don't give a shit at all and it is all about YOUR ego.

This is why I changed my profile and it no longer states I am a sub.
My submission to anyone is totally dependent upon the respect you show me.
Not respect in the manner as you see fit, but as I SEE FIT!

The difference between feminism and hate speech

I lost a casual online friend today who I thought I liked, on a social networking site, because she took issue with men that use words like "Honey, Dear, Sweetie, Babe, Boo, Darlin, Doll or any other "term of endearment" that a man may use when speaking to a woman, that is not his own. She feels its sexual harassment and demeaning. I live in the south so things are different here (Thank God) than in other areas of the country, But Really?!!? Are you fuckin kidding me? This is Not the 1950's for God's sake! He didn't smack your ass, tell you to get him a coffee and his wife on the phone while your at it! I digress..........

At any rate, I guess I am guilty of sexual harassment and a pervert at that then,
:( because I use those terms all the damn time with people: males, females, adults, children and peoples pets (ewww, just ewww).......... When I am speaking to my tenants and customer service folks in the public sector I use these "endearments" ALL THE TIME. People respond to them better than "Hey you, yea you cuntface or dickhead (I don't want to hear any shit cause I used the C word either, so keep it to yourself, this is my bitchfest dammit! heheh) do what I told you to do, blah blah blah".

I try really hard Not to be judgmental of anyone specifically, even if I do not agree with the way they see the world. However, I do make fun of republicans all the time, they don't count as people, because they are politicians first and foremost. Anyway I digress......... This being non judgmental of every idiot, I mean person - sorry, I came across in the world took me Years to do. It was a hard fought and won battle within myself that I am so grateful I did. I am a much better version of myself now. It also has allowed me to curb my tongue when dealing with family, friends and people in general.

Anyway, this woman said I sound like the men, as if that was an insult, in my reasoning and lack of understanding to her plight...Ohhh Honey I understood alright! You're a whiny bitch with a crab-apple stuck up your ass is all!!!

She uses Hate Speech, wraps it in Feminist phrases and calls bullshit on any man or woman that does not conform to Her Way of Seeing the world :)

Well guess what??!! I am a Feminist and it does not degrade me in any shape, manner or form to allow (please notice I used the word allow), a man to open a door for me or to call me something other than my name or to try and help me reach something in a high kitchen cabinet (after all I am only 5' tall and can't reach much in my kitchen to be quite honest :) lol so I actually appreciate the help, I do, I do)!!!

That fact that this burns her ass to have these niceties and others thrown her way just let's me know she has a burr up her butt about a past experience and is not really a feminist. I noticed her posts were fraught with complaints, bitching and moaning about not having someone love her, not being able to find a decent man, Blah Blah Blah, as well as many others that berated men for not respecting her and how she was waiting for Mr Perfect. She had a total hardon about being called anything But her name and men being polite to her :( Yikes!

She's been burned badly by men, I get it. But So Fucking What!!!!! We've ALL been burned, we all have pasts, A good many of us were abused as children by our parents, family members and friends. We ALL carry baggage that we DEAL with. Some of us, me included, have post traumatic stress disorder from these incidents. PTSD was her reasoning for Not liking a man to call her anything other than her name, it gave her flash backs. Seriously!!??? Has she Not sought counseling for this past trauma? At her age one would think she'd have a handle on it by now and be able to place nice with others, even when they do or say something she doesn't like. And there also meds for that shit too.......just sayin.

All I ask is that you deal with your shit!! Instead of dragging it around behind you stinking up every damn place you go. Making us all smell it and deal with it! Deal with your shit and shut the fuck up already!! We aren't kids, We are in our 50's for crying out loud!! Get a fucking Clue already!!

That's it I'm done.
I have Not attacked anyone on this site personally. Please do not come at me with nastiness if you don't like this post.
Just unfriend me or ignore me or tell your friends I'm a asshole, but quite honestly I do not want to hear it.
I'm tired of listening to what others think of me and having my feelings hurt. Who cares what I think or what anybody thinks really, just learn to ignore other peoples stupidness instead of attacking everything you don't like.....

The Warrior Princess Submissive (presented by Michael Makai)

I am following this gentleman on Facebook: Michael Makai is the author of the I Amazon best-seller, Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook.

Here is some of Michael Makai's writing from his page on Facebook that spoke to me in such a profound way :) God Bless him!!!
I am tired of the D/s who want to berate someone like myself, because we don't fit "your mold". Whatthefuckever! I've never conformed to the world around me and I don't have. I don't judge You, STOP judging me!!! We are part of your world....Deal with it! I have No want or will to dominate or be a Dom, but I cannot be the typical sub because it is not me. PLEASE accept me for WHO I AM not who YOU want me to be.
Read this post and know when all is said and done I will and promise to OPENLY fight for this lifestyle for you all, because Someone will have to, I am strong and I can shoulder that burden.
Quoted from Michael's FB Page:
The Warrior Princess Submissive (presented by Michael Makai)
Ever get the feeling, when you read about all the "classic" categories of submissive, that there must be one missing? You know which one we're talking about. The missing submissive is the one that is the wicked-smart, strong-willed, uber-competent, ultra-competitive, synergistic, switchy, crusader. She's no one's doormat, never a victim. She is a kick-ass submissive for the 21st century. Think: Xena, the Warrior Princess, kneeling at the feet of Hercules. This definitely isn't a woman in a precarious predicament waiting helplessly for her White Knight to arrive and slay a dragon for her. This was a woman who, as she is kicking the dragon’s ass, smiles at the White Knight standing on the sidelines and says, “Hey, buddy! Feel free to jump right in and lend your sword to this fight. Otherwise, stay the hell out of my way!” The Warrior Princess doesn't need or want a rescuer. The Warrior Princess needs an ally that she can rely upon in the chaos of battle. She seeks a warrior equal to the tasks that she has already chosen for herself, and is demonstrably capable of accomplishing with, or without, his help. She is willing and able to fight the good fight alone, but welcomes the notion of having a worthy partner, fighting by her side. And yet, when the day’s fighting is done, she is perfectly at ease with considering herself entirely His - heart, might, mind, body, and soul. Why is she important? She is important because she just may be the hope and salvation of this lifestyle. There will come a day, in the not too distant future, when the Warrior Princess Submissive will be forced to become a combatant in a highly politicized war on the BDSM lifestyle. It will be a propaganda war that characterizes all Dominants as abusers and all submissives as victims of abusive and exploitative relationships. When she comes out of the shadows and chooses to fight for this lifestyle instead of against it - as many of her contemporaries will expect her to do - her strong moral compass will reassure those on the sidelines that she is doing what is right and just.

The More I learn the Less I know....Matchmaker Needed

I need a Serious MatchMaker.
If you are laughing then you do not understand my heartache and pain at continued failure, disappointment and my need to be loved by someone that actually has my best interests at heart.
I fight daily to have an open loving heart, not be a judgemental asshole as society has conditioned me to be and take every person at face value. I know that not all of us are honest with others, nevermind themselves. For them I have pity.
I have trust issues after many years of "dating" :( that is my truth. Being open and honest with myself is hard, as I tend to be harder on myself then others would be. However, I've come to understand that I do Not know how to pick a partner for myself.......my picker is broken lol. Hence my failed attempts to find A soulmate. notice I did not say 'my" before soulmate as I believe we have many .....But I always seem to find the selfish, head up their ass, sociopath users. I need help.
I've been told I am attractive (I'm average, but to the right person I am beautiful), a good cook, insatiably curious about the world and its beings...all of them, a good person, nice and funny. I'm also irreverent, a smartass, intelligent and very empathically intuitive (more than most). This last one makes it a challenge in regards to relationships. I tend to become very submissive with a man that I become intimately and emotionally attached to.
None of that seems to of any importance in the grand scheme of things.
I am beginning to wonder what the Universe/Goddess/God has in mind for my and my life. Because I sure as hell have no fucking clue! Oh yeah I also have a potty mouth lol. If that bothers you and you want that to change then you have to become REALLY important to me. Otherwise its gonna suck to be you LOL.
Did I mention irreverent? Sigh.............

So anyone reading this that thinks they have advice or skill in matchmaking I an ALL ears :)
Grazie in anticipo.
Ciao

Traits of a Dom that work well with MY kind of sub

I found this on a Facebook page/group and since it spoke to me in my heart I am putting it here. It is not for every D/s relationship. It is for my D/s relationship.

1. He declines being called Sir, Master or any other grandiose title from the start. Until a relationship has been agreed he knows he's a human being just like you, on the same level as you. He will owe you that respect and courtesy from the beginning. He declines being called ego-inflating names unless a dynamic has been explicitly agreed by both parties.
2. He looks after your interests. He will be on your side and will want you to be fulfilled in a relationship. He will be prepared to walk away from a relationship, if he believes your needs will be better met by somebody else. In fact he will be more than happy to introduce you to somebody else who will meet your needs better than him, even if that means he will lose you.
3. He doesn't criticize other people, particularly other Dom's, behind their backs. He doesn't feel threatened by other Dom's and doesn't see them as competition. He doesn't belittle or talk bad about other Dom's or tries to eliminate or undermine "competitors".
4. He doesn't try to dominate the conversation or gratuitously lead a group onto something just to prove to everyone and himself how Dom like he is. He will let other people have their say, without trying to hoard the limelight. He is a true team player who puts the needs and interests of the group before himself. He is interested in the team winning, not him winning.
5. He doesn't prey on the vulnerable. He doesn't hang around the entrance of munches or clubs looking for "fresh meat". He doesn't try to take advantage of inexperienced submissive's and use their lack of knowledge to his advantage. On the contrary, he will protect those new and vulnerable and do what he can to guide them in the right direction.
6. He doesn't instigate politics, bitching and division between camps. He is not prepared to partake in them and will try to minimize conflict whenever possible. He has a conciliatory tone and tries to build bridges, not burn them, whilst still defending what is right.
7. He's approachable. He's friendly and welcoming and accepts everybody as they are. He keeps his ego in check and doesn't carry himself with a swagger or in a threatening or arrogant manner. He's not in possession of the truth. He knows an über-Dom is quite the opposite of a true Dom.
8. He admits to his mistakes. He's happy to say sorry. He knows that being a Dom doesn't mean he's perfect. He will own up to his errors and will make reparation whenever possible. If he makes a mistake during play he'll apologize sincerely and make sure it doesn't happen again.
9. He's comfortable with a sub who is more intelligent, skilled and capable than him. He knows that being a Dom doesn't mean he has to be the best at everything. He's quite happy to take instruction from her submissive and let her teach him what he doesn't know. As an example, he's happy to take directions from her when he's driving.
10. He has nothing to prove. He's comfortable in his own skin and doesn't need to prove to anybody how "dominant" he is. He doesn't try to live up to some expectation of what a Dom should be. He's confident and sure of himself and is untroubled by others disagreeing with him and having a different approach to dominance than his. He knows who he is and he doesn't need to justify himself to anybody.
11. He doesn't take liberties. He will not boss around a person just because she's submissive. Nor will he grope her either. He will be clear, transparent and specific about how he wants to play, before anything happens. He will not take advantage of someone being in subspace and therefore more vulnerable. He is polite to waiters, clerks and those in serving professions.
12. He's trustworthy. He has a strong sense of integrity, responsibility and compassion. He will stick to his agreements and fulfill his end of the bargain. He will tell the truth and behave with honesty, even if that means he loses out. He's honorable and his word is his bond.

The Alpha Submissive: me in a neat little package

As a child, elementary school age 6-12, I had recurrent "dreams". There were several different ones.
One in particular that always confused me and excited me in ways I did not understand involved my Mother. I was in a dimly lit darkened room standing in the shadows. My Mother was naked, sometimes bent across a bench or a man's lap. I could never see his face. It wasn't my father though. The energy of him felt different than my father's. Anyway this man would touch my mother intimately and sometimes spank her. And I remember feeling her arousal. I also remember thinking she deserved to be spanked and was happy at her being reprimanded.

Mind you I was not exposed to porn of any sort and this was back in the early 70's. These dreams and the others only started and only lasted the entire time I lived in a house in West Islip, NY.

I have often pondered whose dream I was experiencing.
Was it really my own?
Was I walking through someone else's dream?
Was I seeing something that was actually happening?
To know is to know that any of those 3 could be a possibility.

The wolf, the woman and the lamb

Back in the early 90's I started reading all these new age books and one of the authors, of whom I cannot remember her name now, spoke of her spirit animal and the processes she used to become that animal. The books fascinated me and made me work on my intuitive skills not just with animals but with people. I used meditation and self hypnosis to train myself to develope my intuitive side.

My senses became much more keen. I could smell what others could not. I could hear what others could not. I became very intuitive to the point of knowing who was calling on the phone and knowing the needs of others before they voiced them. I was able to travel out of body with my spirit while asleep. I saw things happen in places I could not know about in your part of the world while asleep. It used to freak my husband out when I would get up in the morning and tell him what I saw and then it would be all over the morning news. I began to sense death on a person much like a pet does with people. I didn't like that part personally it freaked me out. I also developed levels of telepathy with my family members, friends, etc. About this time I started tuning into developing telepathy with my pets. I started practising energy/chi work as well.

I am a natural born healer and that was before learning reiki.

These things combined with my personality traits have made me a very different kind of person than most. I am okay not being like everyone else. I am often alone. Lonely is not something I thought I would ever experience, yet I am.

I have accepted that I am an Alpha female with a submissive side. I fought the submissive side for many years.

**I have wanted to have a tattoo or a drawing done of a lamb standing up on its hind legs, peeling off the skin of women and she has already peeled off the skin of a wolf and its at her feet. THIS IS ME.
I now search for the wolf who will protect and not prey upon his lamb.**

It took me years to realize the difference between dominant and domineering. I cannot be submissive to a submissive person, nor can I be so with a domineering bully. I need a dominant of equal or greater stature to myself.

Geez I am sitting reading this and thinking I should erase it but I won't. It needed to be said. Thank you for listening :)
Ciao