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I'm bi, poly at heart, with long thick brown hair, tweed eyes, and a dancer's soul. A tropism for science fiction and (almost) any kind of music. What seems to be an above-average tolerance for pain, but no experience with heavy bdsm (I'm open to the idea, once we've known each other a while). Half my wardrobe is black -- but only half. I adore azaleas and semicolons and eyelet lace. I don't dance as much as I used to or would like to, and I'm horrible about answering email promptly. I'm in love with the trees outside my bedroom window and the way they entangle the sky. I'm a sub who's forgotten how not to act like a Domme; someone's got to, after all, and if I'm the only one around, then it's got to be me. I wish I were a panther, but I suspect I'm just a feral Persian. I'm not a brat, but I do know what I value and am willing to hold out for it. I can't submit to you if you don't have at least as much strength of will as I do, and I probably will challenge you, if only out of longstanding habit, until I feel safe with you. Picture available after we've exchanged emails.
What I'm looking for, long-term: spanking/paddling (hard, not "erotic" -- it might be that too, but no "lovetaps"), disciplinary and/or roleplay, light bdsm. No intercourse for now, but other sexual activity is negotiable. Bruises and marks are good.
A beautiful Baha'i prayer says: "Make me a hollow reed from which the pith of self
hath been blown so that I may become a clear channel through which Thy love may flow to others". I'm pagan rather than Baha'i, but that quote expresses my feelings very well, and my spirituality and my interest in D/s are closely related. It is important to me that I live in service to the Universe, to the Divine, and in order to do so, I must perfect both my ability to surrender and the skills and self-discipline that make me useful. My ideal Dom/me will seek the same goals, knowing that there is no shame in even the most non-switchy Dom/me submitting, or sharing a sub, with the Dance, with the Heart of All, by whatever name you call it. My ideal Dom/me will be for me the representative of the God and Goddess, helping me to refine and perfect myself, that I may be a purer, more useful tool for the Universe -- will be both my forge and smith. I serve you in practice and training for the time when I serve the Universe more directly, and in love and respect after that time.
On a more mundane level, I'm looking for a stern but caring man, woman or couple I can like and respect as a friend as well as a Dom/me -- someone who expects me to be an independent strong-willed individual in routine life, but will brook no argument in scene or in those areas where I've asked for control, who understands that being independent and strong doesn't mean being independent and strong 24 hours a day. Someone who recognizes that power exchange is meaningless if a sub doesn't understand her own power to begin with, and who can cuddle, fuck my mouth, or blister my ass without thinking that being on my knees or over yours makes me weak. Although these aren't essential, we're more likely to be compatible if you have a) dark hair, b) a job in the sciences, academia, or the publishing or computer industries, c) a fondness for leather, d) progressive politics, and e) the ability to express yourself well with the written word. Those interested in homesteading, self-sufficiency, or traditional skills are particularly encouraged to contact me.
Please note that I am not interested in relocating or long-distance relationships, although I'm glad to correspond with those outside Asheville. I won't rule out a long-distance friendship becoming a long-distance relationship, but the friendship has to develop first.
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If you write me -- please note that I'm not on this site very often. If I don't answer, it's possible that I'm ignoring you, but much more likely that it expired before I saw it, or that I saw it briefly, wanted to spend more time composing a reply, and it expired before I had the time to spend. Although I would like to make connections, I'm not actively seeking so much as just telling the universe I'm available, and so sites like this just don't stay very high on my priority list. If you're really intriqued by my profile, a much better way to contact me is through my real blog at LiveJournal (username bedawyn -- but at least one minor reads it, so please be discreet if you comment on anything.)
Of course, if you happen to have a job in editing/publishing available, you'll go to the top of the list. I'm still looking for a non-horrendous job in Asheville, so that takes priority over everything these days.
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Most people interested in a relationship will want to know how experienced you are with D/s, but I'm afraid it's not a question I know how to answer anymore. I've only had a couple real-time play experiences, and I only rarely spend time in the chat rooms. But to say I'm a "newbie" is, if not inaccurate, at least misleading. I've been into D/s since I was a child, and known I was since I was a teen. I've openly identified as a submissive for ~15 years now. (If I do have switchy tendencies, it's a more recent development, and a story for another day.) Once upon a time, I read extensively and could have quoted you chapter and verse from the Leatherman's Handbook and the Lesbian S/M Safety Manual. But then school and the politics of sexual identity gave way to work and paying the bills, and although I never stopped thinking of myself as part of the bdsm community, actually participating in the community never seemed high on the priority list -- and by now, I've probably forgotten half of what once I knew. If I don't have many scenes to my credit, it's not because I'm hesitant about bdsm but simply because I haven't been meeting people. And if I haven't been meeting people, it's not because I'm "unreal", but simply because I'm a wallflower and a reasonable facsmile of a homebody, and meeting people through adult personal ads just seems so tawdry (although this site seems so much _less_ tawdry than others, probably why I'm writing this now).
So does that make me a newbie? For practical purposes, probably, but it just feels wrong as a label.
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