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Hi I am looking for a slut that loves black men. ( okay a slut in general)I am a size queen and love bringing men home to meat you. I never tell them that I am sizing them up for someone else. I like to dress up so you should like to help me dress up. We could be roommates, friends, cousins, boyfriend girlfriend, husband wife, who cares, as long as he enjoys our company.. I will tell you all about him first.. I wont tell him about you, (unless you want me too) just casually introduce the two of you, This ad is preferably for someone looking for something long term not casual.. If you want to be the best kinkster you can be, make a commitment.. it is much safer.
Speaking of safer sex, I never have sex under the influence. (hard limit) pot is not under the influence. meth is, alcohol is.. I never have anal sex with a man.. but I will with you if you have a stapon,, but only if you are nice about it.. hmm.. No you have to be nice..
we can be friends..
I am a normal guy that will protect a woman, so don't be afraid.. If you just need an escort that is fine..
I am not a money slave or a foot slave, but I could be a nice dog...;)
Chastity is hot.
Younger ladies are fine as long as they are not pretending to be dominant. Nothing is more lame than a stupid person ordering someone around. exceptions, (sit, heal, bark,sniff, lick, lick faster... okay, you could be a domme.....;) mature ladies are fine as well.. Just be nice..or know the magic words, see above... ;)
If you are female and lonely chat me up.
If you just basicily have a broken heart in general, that is okay, you can not be perfect. I will accept you as you are.. I will also help you. I am a native of the bay area, and can take you to many healing spots, some known and some not so well known..
I have been describe as "a perfect gentleman"
I have a holistic lifestyle. I have sobriety close to 40 years, and I have other spiritual disciplines close to 40 years.
if you are a born again christian, I will help you be an unborn again christian but only if you want to rejoin the rest of us folks who aren't self delusional
If you have a degree and a shrine to yourself, then we probably aren't a good match, unless of course, you recognize limits of book learning and desk sitting and appreciate spontaneous street combat patrol.. as well as advanced proactive socialization techniques.. like being friends in spite of our differences.. oh, wow, or sharing resources to help others...that would be called socially evolved.. Hmm, what else, well if you are a social service worker, and or just need help caring for those less fortunate, then just ask..
If you are in a long term caring situation and need r&r. just ask.. I understand completely.
Unlike a lot of ads, or other social situations, I don't care if you have a picture or not..I don't care where you live. I don't care if you have money or not.. Please don't offend me by asking me personal financial questions.. If you are not able to date without feeling insecure about another persons finances that you haven't even met yet, then you probably should join a religious order at best, but at least, don't contact me.. but for those that want to know, when God made me, He put in Joy of Work.
I am a triple leo
If you are confused, I am hellasmart, contact me..If I can help you, I will..
If you have never met a hamburger you didn't like, we are probably not a good match. I am vegetarian.. Likewise, yes I have a car, no you can not use it to go to the drive through at burger king.. unless we are getting BK veggies, well okay..
Logic test: Remember Spock? Okay if you can't pass this test we are probably not compatiable; Does a population that expands geometrically need a food supply that expands geometrically as well?
Theology test: this test will tell you if you have grasped the concepts of theology: Define Holy Bible.
Some of my particular fields of interest are orthomolecular psychiatry, linguistics, theology, and comparitive theology, massage, (obviously not spelling) and I am a big fan of Dr. Anne Wigmore. (she pioneered wheat grass therapy and naturopathic healing in general; She is deceased, RIP)
If you are an addict, I will help you. I won't share DNA samples with you, but I will help You.
Hmm what else might be of interest to the deviate mind? well that you will have to find out on your own, but I have been told, by those that would know, I kiss like an
angel.. Hot bathes and massage turn me on.. Lets start there.. flocks of pelicans turn me on too. Avocados are nice, I have more than one guacamole recipe for a main dish. Mangoes are fun and any lady in a dress..Naps are romantic, Hmm, you could be my boss, I mean, yes a real boss at work, but you have to be nice.. You can pretend to be mean, but you have to be nice..
If you like guys that like to dress and role play, I could be perfect.. I would prefer to be roommates, as long as you are: fun, feminine, honest, likes to eat- I love to cook, kind of a slob- I love to clean, someone who likes to kiss, and hmm big bonus if you tell me all about your "big dates". I hope this ad has amused you..
If your forehead is now frowned after reading my profile, please please please, unplug your computer, put it at the end of the driveway with free signed taped to it. It is the only way to get you to stop hurting people, okay. You are a tore up twisted bitch from hell, (and yes, guys,you can use that phase in life whenever necessary. I works in any emergency when you find yourself out in public without your garlic, cruxifix and sliver bullets ....
Self defense for ladies in social situations: The word lop (rhymes with pop) is useful. Lets say some boring ass guy is buying you drinks in a bar, and you are listening to him, but everything he says sounds like blah blah blah.. You can shut him lame ass up with the following line; "I don't want to date any lops". See if you are a young lady and you have dated lops in the past, I will help you, cause it really does make you and all your friends look stupid.. Get it? A lop is someone you drop off at rehab. It is not someone you date.. A lop is someone you give the want ads too. It is not someone you date. Get it? okay cool, so know you understand the word lop is a self defense word.. lop rhymes with pop..
so dominant or submissive or somewhere inbetween, if you are a woman, you should only date guys that sincerely love you (you as plural) We are out here.
marriage: some people in our society don't understand what marriage is. Women tend to think marriage is being restricted for financial security.. the other marriage is a TRANSPARENCY between two, and just like the creapy crawly thing, that becomes a butterfly, the transparency makes two into one energy field, but the magnification begins in the 10th power. So two in transparency equals 10 or more in lop land. Get it? A person who has this ideal is called socially evolved. So if someone is speaking of marriage, see what CONTEXT the word is used before passing judgement or becoming socially insecure. Social insecurity is another word for inexperience. So a "domme" who is socially insecure is also inexperience, and therefore, BORING. get it. so if you want to be a domme and not be boring, remember the magic words.. :) SIT STAY HEEL SNIFF BARK LICK AND LICK FASTER, LICK BARK, LICK BARK, LICK BARK, FASTER FASTER OKAY PERFECT... WELCOME TO DOMME HOOD :) :) :) :) :) :) ;)
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