What is a collaring ceremony?
When a bdsm relationship progresses to the level that a collar of ownership is offered, many lifestylers opt to celebrate the event with a collaring ceremony. The ceremony itself could be a private moment between two individuals or a huge event similar to a wedding ceremony. Online or real-time; with careful planning a collaring ceremony can be an experience one will treasure for a lifetime.
Just like most aspects of this lifestyle, there are no right or wrong ways to have a collaring ceremony. In this special section we will examine the basic protocol of collaring, different ranks of collars and their significance.
Within the bdsm community there are several ranks of collars traditionally used to denote different stages of a relationship. The highest ranking collar is the collar of ownership, also called a formal or slave collar. While it isn't necessary to follow any particular model of collaring protocol (or even wear a collar at all) it couldn't hurt to familiarize yourself with the different types of collars and what they signify. The chosen style of collar is always up to the individual The images of collars shown here are only suggestions or examples of what might be considered for each group. Which collar you select should be based purely on your own personal preferences.
Collar of Protection: This is a collar given to an unattached sub/slave by a protector or mentor. The collar of protection lets other Dominants know that there is somebody looking out for the submissive. This collar shouldn't have a lock on it since the sub/slave technically doesn't belong to anybody. Some subs wear collars simply to show that they are submissive, so it is acceptable to approach a sub wearing a collar to ask their status.
Collar of Consideration: This collar is given at the beginning of a relationship and worn throughout the courtship period. The sub/slave shouldn't be dealing with any other Dom/Master at this point unless directed to by their Master. Traditionally this is a leather collar in some shade of blue although the color doesn't seem to be a big factor to most people.
Training Collar: The training collar is to be given after the collar of consideration as a sign that the relationship has progressed to the next level. This is usually a sturdy, leather "working" collar or posture collar which has extra rings for restraints, but again, it's up to the Dominant to decide which style they prefer. Typically training collars are used in casual play with unattached subs/slaves.
Formal Collar: The formal collar is a symbol of ownership and commitment to a long term relationship. Most often it is given during a collaring ceremony. The style of this collar depends solely on the Dominant's preference. Some opt for very decorative jewelry-like designs, screw down collars which are never removed, or simply a chain with a lock on it. There are no hard and fast rules about what this collar should look like, although tradition holds that this collar should be unique and created specifically for the occasion.
Collar Etiquette 101 Never touch a submissive's collar unless you put it there yourself! Even though some uncollared subs wear collars in public, always ask if they are involved before trying to kick it to them. It's rare, but some Dominants do wear collars also. Always approach people with respect if you are unsure of their status. If you want to speak to a collared submissive that you don't know, you should ask their Master/Mistress for permission first. Do not address a Dominant as "Master" or "Mistress" unless you are wearing their collar or they instruct you otherwise. Sir and Ma'am are fine in the meantime. Don't ever flirt with, fondle, or proposition a collared submissive!
Once you've found the perfect collar, the next step is finding the perfect way to present it. Next we'll take a look at how several Dark Connections members performed their own beautiful ceremonies.
Different Types of Collaring Ceremonies
Formal Collaring ceremony is often very similar to a wedding. The submissive is led to her Dominant by a protector or mentor. Sometimes the sub will carry a rose or a candle but most often they will only be carrying a leash. The Dom/me will sometimes be holding a crop or some other implement to indicate his or her stature as a Dominant. Witnesses may speak on behalf of the Dom/me and sub and then vows will be exchanged. The sub will then have the training collar removed and replaced with a formal collar. At this point contracts may be signed or other rituals such as blood bonding might take place. Usually the formal part of the ceremony will end with the sub kneeling and kissing the feet of the Dominant and then receiving some type of lashing or spanking, but the possibilites are endless. There are three basic types of collaring ceremonies; Formal, Online, and Private.
Online Collaring Ceremonies The main benefit of an online ceremony is that people from all over the world can join in the celebration. "(The ceremony) done online and officiate is online as well.
I come to You with this Leash in my hand. I Offer this Leash to You to Guide me and Lead me along my Journey. It is my desire to belong to You and to follow You wherever You choose to take me. I desire that You accept the submission of my will unto Yours and take me into Your Care and Guidance, that W/we may grow T/together in Love, Trust and Mutual Respect. Further i ask in sincere humility, that You, as my Dom, Accept the keeping of my body for the fulfillment and enhancement of O/our Sexual, Emotional, and Intellectual needs. I ask that You Guide me in any Sexual, Sensual or Scene-Related behavior, both T/together with and separate from You, in such a way as to further my growth as a person. i request of You, as my Dom, that You use the Power vested in Your role to mold me and shape me, assisting me to grow in Strength, Character, Confidence, and Being. That You continue to help me develop my Artistic and Intellectual abilities. These are the desires and secrets of my heart.
I Accept this Leash as a Symbol of the Offering of yourself and give you My Promise to carefully Guide you and Lead you safely in My Footsteps. You will belong to Me from this day on and I will do all within My Power to Protect you as you Join Me on My Journey. I place this Collar upon your neck. You now Belong to Me.
I now belong to You Master, and no Other.
I now attach this Leash to My Collar as My Commitment to Lead and Guide you from this day forward.
Master, You have helped me to see once again my nature and my soul with Your Strength, Your Honesty and Your Wisdom. For that I give you all that I am... my body, my mind and my heart.
Private Collaring Ceremonies Some lifestylers choose not to hold a huge event when it comes time to bond with their partner. A private collaring ceremony can be just as beautiful and poignant as a huge event. The level of intimacy shared between the people involved is what makes it so special.
