|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Opening the door to finding myself...
I am a BBW submissive that has been out of the scene for some time. I am still deciding what I want to be when I grow up.
I discovered D/s in my late 30's and soaked up as much information as I could, and was active in the scene, although mostly from the sidelines, for various different reasons.
In my vanilla life, which is, let's face it, most of my life, I love spending hours at museums and learning about the past. History is my favorite subject, including ancient history, and 15th and 16th century English and Scottish history. I am currently working on my family genealogy, and enjoy solving family mysteries.
I am an avid reader of books on history, historical fiction, fantasy, romances, and paranormal subjects, as well as paranormal romances.
I love to sing along with music from the 1950's and early 1960's, although I do not claim to have a particularly melodious voice. I also enjoy dancing sometimes, and would love to learn how to two-step. I occasionally belly dance, although I am just a beginner. I have always loved the sensuality of it.
I have lived in Europe; I am a veteran. I have also visited the UK, and would love to live there.
I enjoy going to movies, including foreign movies, and I don't have a problem with reading subtitles, if necessary. The last two movies seen were "Thor: Ragnarok" and "Victoria and Abdul". I am looking forward to "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" and the new Justice League movie.
When I am not reading or otherwise engaged, I enjoy watching television, including "Game of Thrones," "The Sopranos," and "The Wire," as well as "Ray Donovan". I am a fan and supporter of PBS, and love Masterpiece Theater productions. I am a Whovian, and I think Peter Capaldi is magnificent.
I am also a bit of a newshound, and frequently spend time keeping up on the latest news, usually through online sources. I rarely watch the news on television.
My early writing consisted of poetry and essays, and the poetry seems to be something that is coming back. I also used to write erotica, and I plan on continuing with that in future, as well, although fiction is a fairly new genre for me, as far as writing goes.
I am a contradiction; I have been Catholic, Protestant, a born-again Christian and Jewish. I pray each morning and evening; I say Kaddish and the Catholic prayer for the dead. I believe in life after death. I believe in doing right, because it's right, not because it's convenient. I try to treat all people with respect.
I vote; I believe it's our right, and should be exercised. Who you vote for is not my concern, as long as you vote.
If you are interested in corresponding with an imaginative, 57 year old female BBW submissive, I would be happy to hear from you. I have limited real-time D/s experience, and that was all long ago. I am very open-minded, curious, gregarious, and love to share and explore.
I am not particularly looking for a Dominant; I am looking for friends to share ideas and conversations, and learning and growing from there.
Thank you for taking the time to read my profile. I look forward to possibly hearing from you.
|
|
|
|
|
I have realized that I need to update quite a few things. I am currently 63 years old, almost 64 years old. CS does not update the age on the profiles.
I am still an avid reader; favorite writers now include James S.A. Corey (The Expanse), Amy Kuivalainen, Anne Bishop (The Black Jewels Series and The Others Series) and Nalini Singh.
Television series: Currently watching Shogun and just finished Masters of the Air. Love Star Trek Strange New Worlds and Star Trek Discovery. I loved The House of the Dragon, and cannot wait for the next season of The Mandalorian. Enjoyed Boba Fett, and Ahsoka, and love Resident Alien and Last Week Tonight With John Oliver. Also love the Jack Reacher series on Amazon.
Favorite movies, in no particular order, include Dune, Dune 2, One Life, The Boy and the Heron, Oppenheimer, John Wick Chapter 4, American Fiction, The Holdovers, Killers of the Flower Moon, Deadpool. |
|
|
|
|
I think I need to clarify a few things. I am not a Dominant and I am not a switch. If you are seeking a Dominant or Domme, or a switch, I am not that woman. I am a submissive, and I am here as a submissive. Many years ago, I toyed with the idea of being a switch, but my heart is a submissiv's heart, and I am happiest as such. |
|
|
|
|
First statement, I generally reply to most emails, as a courtesy.
Second statement, if I don’t reply immediately, it was because I thought the email was worthy of a more lengthy, considered response.
Third statement, if you make a snide comment in an email and then block my ability to respond, why did you waste my time and yours in the first place? |
|
|
|
|
In the Star Trek: Next Generation episode, "The Perfect Mate", the main character is an empath, and naturally imprints upon her mate, in order to be the “perfect mate”. I believe that submissives, because of our nature, naturally imprint upon our Dominants.
I am an empath; and, I am a submissive. That is separate and apart from being a submissive within a D/s relationship. Even within a vanilla relationship, I am still a submissive, and I am still an empath. In each relationship I have had, I have imprinted upon my partner, not deliberately, but organically, because it is my nature.
I wonder how many submissives consider themselves empaths? And, how many can see the impact it has on their relationships with their Dominants?
Good Dominants are also empathic. They must be able to pick up on their submissive’s moods, how they are feeling, and understand what they are saying when perhaps they don’t even understand what they are trying to express. A strong Dominant, in my opinion, is also a strong empath. A large part of their strength is tied into knowing not just through direct observation but also intuitively.
|
|
|
|
|
How fast should a D/s relationship develop? It seems that there is a rush to progress quickly into a committed relationship. I find that difficult; I don't move that fast, but sometimes it seems as if I am behind the times. Am I missing something, somehow? |
|
|
|
|
Apparently, I need to state, despite stating elsewhere in my profile that I am looking for friends, I *must* state that I am not looking for a 24/7 live-in Dominant to avoid confusion. In my opinion, it should not be necessary to re-state the obvious, but... |
|
|
|
|
Lifting my head from my task, I slowly licked my lips in anticipation, and then ran my tongue lightly over the head of my Master?s engorged cock. My eyes glanced up at his face, watching him relish the sight of my tongue teasing over the opening, pulling the precum in to long, thin strings that I wrapped around my tongue, savoring them.
Feeling his hand press down on my head, no words spoken, I wrapped my lips around his shaft and began sucking it into my mouth, my hand stroking along his length, my mouth chasing my fingers down to the base.
Over and over, I drew him deep into my mouth, the head of his cock hitting the back of my throat, until his hand pushed me down that last little bit, and his hips began pumping, hard, into my mouth.
I took it, every inch, gasping in a breath, as I could, between thrusts. Listening to him growl deep in his throat as I almost gagged, pumping harder, the drool running from the side of my lips as he fucked my face, seeking his pleasure.
The moisture pooled between my swollen sex as he used me, my body throbbing in time to his movements, wanting him there, but wanting to please him even more.
Then, suddenly, he pressed deeper, and I stilled, waiting for that moment, his cock rock hard on my tongue, the moment when the throbbing began and his cock thickened even more in my mouth and his seed poured down my throat and filled my mouth to overflowing. I tightened my lips around him, feeling his seed fill me, and held on, relishing the feel of his cock as it spurted into my mouth. I swallowed as quickly as I could, and caught most of it, except the smallest drops that remained my lips when he withdrew. Looking up at him, my tongue slid out and licked them from my mouth, before I resumed, gently laving him clean, waiting for my reward, when I heard him whisper softly, ?Good girl!?
|
|
|
|
|
Everything serves.
Every smile.
Every tear.
Every bit of laughter.
All has value.
Every good experience, and every terrible experience.
All are lessons learned. |
|
|
|
|
Is it just me, or has CS been slower than usual? Each time I click on a link, it seems to take a very long time for the page to finally open, and more than once, when I've attempted to respond to an email, an error message has come up and I've had to re-send it. It is *very* frustrating. |
|
|
|
|
Random thoughts:
Does D/s *have* to involve pain?
What about the submissive that wants to give up control, mentally, to a Dominant, that needs to be able to trust him with their emotions, as well as their life and well-being - that is maybe little kinky, but isn't into heavy pain play?
I know, not everyone has the same kink.
How does this "vanilla" sort of D/s relationship fit into D/s?
Is there a middle path?
|
|
|
|
|
Please, when you post your profile, say a little bit about yourself.
I often see profiles that I would find extremely interesting if they would share more information about themselves.
The most interesting ones are the ones that allow me to see just a little bit inside your head, and, more importantly, inside your heart.
I am just as interested in others' vanilla interests as I am in their D/s ones. |
|
|
|
|
Please understand that when I say I don't want to play, I don't want to play, and respect that.
I would rather get to know someone as a person, and as a friend, than having to fend off repeated attempts at seduction.
When and if I am ever ready to play, I will let you know. |
|
|
|
|
If you are going to email me under two different screen names, try not to have the exact same profile on both of them.
And don't expect much of a reply to the email from the duplicate profile. Fool me once...
And while we are on the subject of emails - not interested in corresponding with anyone with a profile picture of only their cock (or someone's cock).
And, lastly, if you are only interested in corresponding with women of one race, or another, pass on by. I am multi-ethnic, and proud of all of my ancestors. |
|
|
|
|
The Beginning (new erotic story):
The screen didn’t close fast enough, and I heard a gasp directly behind me.
Turning carefully, I looked over my shoulder and saw Sean, my new co-worker, standing directly behind my chair. If the earth could just open up and swallow me right about now, that would be good, really, good.
I tried to think of something, anything, to say. There wasn’t a reasonable explanation for looking at a photo of a man’s cock on my phone, there just wasn’t; and if there was, I sure as hell couldn’t think of it now. I thought I could look, quickly, without anyone seeing, but no such luck. God, of all the people to catch me! He seemed pretty tightly wound and would probably run to the manager as fast as he could, and there would go my job!
I turned back to my desk quickly, thinking that maybe if I didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t. I released the breath I’d been holding, and put my fingers back on my keyboard, hoping he’d take the hint, that I was busy, and would go away. And not say anything. Two out of three, right?
I forced myself to continue to breathe, slowly, then jumped when I felt his fingers wrap around the back of my neck. I tried to turn my head, to give him a fuck off look over my shoulder, but it failed, and he tightened his fingers slightly, and shook his hand, briefly, letting me know to remain still.
I did, holding my breath again, the way I always do when I’m scared, and wondered what was coming. To make things worse, I felt myself start to throb slightly. His hand slowly slid up my neck, until his palm rested against my scalp, his fingers slowly sliding into the curls covering the back of my head. I shivered, waiting.
His breath was warm on my ear, his words soft, “Is that what you like?” I froze completely, and then nodded quickly. I couldn’t get any sound past the knot in my throat.
“Was that a yes?” he urged. “Yes!” I finally managed to get out. “Yes,” I whispered again, softly. I could feel heat suffuse my face; I was glad that I was facing away from him. I lowered my head and bit my lower lip.
I made a move as if I was going to stand up, but his hand remained, holding me in place. He did not push, and, indeed, said nothing, just kept me there, watching me. My breathing quickened, as did the throb between my thighs, and I could feel dampness gathering on my panties. I waited, saying nothing, until his hand lifted, as he leaned over to whisper again in my ear, "I'm better." I felt the lightest of touches on my hair, as he slid his fingers out of it, then stood up and walked away.
Blushing, I glanced around quickly but saw that no one seemed to have noticed our little exchange. Standing, I rushed to the restroom to calm down, mortified that I could feel the moisture as I walked.
Sean? Who would have guessed? |
|
|
|
|
I believe people spend their entire lives discovering themselves, their likes and dislikes, and in this arena, even more so, because there is so much to learn about ourselves. I used to classify myself as solely submissive, based on my reading and research into the lifestyle, and limited experience. My first and only real in-person D/s relationship was as a submissive. I loved it; loved giving up control, and loved having someone giving me orders, and allowing me to orgasm.
Time went on, and I discovered that I also enjoyed being the one in control. It was a revelation to me, and a huge turn-on. Having been submissive to an excellent dominant, meant that I had some ideas about what submissives want and need, keeping in mind, of course, that not everyone wants or needs the same things. Also, male submissives may have totally different needs from female subs.
I have toyed with the idea of formally switching, but haven't gotten to that point yet. So far, I have only enjoyed topping on occasion, but hope to explore more one of these days, when and if I am ready. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
