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| Longing to be understood and seen, without judgement in this harsh world we live.
I?m starting to feel and think I?m broken in some way. All I can think about is getting back to that state of consciousness, a place where time stands still and all bodily senses fade away. A moment of clarity trapped and held in place by pain only to bring my mind peace.
A burden to the mind of feeling with no chance of spiritual healing to ones soul only to abandon hope in all that is seen, gifted with sight and eyes shut tight. Trapped within only to watch the slow decay, hindered by flesh and haunted by the past the soul left without rest.
I?m flawed I know and understand this fact, but I see my flaws. Unlike most people I can?t live with them. I?m sick of trying to hide them or convincing myself to be acceptant of them. These personality and emotional flaws are destroying my life to the point I don?t know what else to do, but just shut down. To me life means so much there is so much I want to do and see but feel trapped inside myself. For the last 25 years or so I had been giving up on myself and saying that?s just life, and allow myself to just go with the flow of things weather I liked it or not. Becoming what the people in my life wanted me to be, therefore stunting the social and emotional development of the abandoned and undisciplined child deep inside, longing to be seen and understood by a firm loving hand.
I have been married for almost five years now to a wonderful woman who I love very much. She and I are both submissive and decided to make separate profiles since we both have different needs. Her username is NyteRayne, we're a pair. She wants to become a switch to better fulfill our needs. What we are looking for is a powerful and Dominant woman or femdom couple to help us feel complete.
Please know that we are only willing to do anything as a couple.
About me, I've been topping from the bottom but it's like throwing surprise birthday party for yourself. I suppose you would say I was raised to be your average man. Tough, Dominant, always taking charge. But I know that is not truely who I am. I am tired of being the one who always is expected to have the answer. I do not want to be the one who plans everything. I wish for someone to take control of me. For someone to help me find my limits and push me to my boundries.
I enjoy lots of things in the bedroom - mummification, spanking, ass play, bondage, CBT, and more - but I keep feeling like something is lacking, or missing. It is hard to be in a relationship with someone who is submissive also. Because we are both wanting simular things, but it is difficult to Dominante, when you really want to submit.
We are seeking a Dominant woman or FemDom couple to help us realize our potential as people. BDSM isn't about sexuality for me. It's about the psychological aspect of BDSM itself. It allows me to become someone else for a period of time, and in a sense, relax and forget about my worries in life.
It's hard for me to just type out my wants and desires. I'm much better in private, through messages or in person. There is so much I would like to express, but can't always find the words to express those emotions and feelings. I'm not used to being open with my thoughts. I have repressed my emotions and feelings for so long, that I don't think I truely even learned who I really am for myself.
I just want to be put in my place and shed the fascade so I can be complete in all aspects of my life. I want to truely submit and know what it feels like to give away complete control.
Would also be interested in being with a Dominant Transgendered-Woman, who can help me feel comfortable with a new situation.
I'm very open-minded person and willing to try new things in life.
As the days go by I've been discovering more about myself, my likes and dislikes.
So here's what I've came up with so far, will add more as they become apparent.
To weed out unwanted contacts (hopefully), here are my Dislikes -
I am not fond of associating with people who are obviously unintelligent, and do not have the drive to try to make themselves better. I understand that not everyone is a Rocket Scientist, but I am a firm believer in we never stop learning, unless we decide to.
Another annoying trait people have is talking about nothing, or to just hear themselves talk.
The judgmental macho man persona who's only purpose on earth is to drink beer, degrade women, and talk shit.
Closed-minded people.
DRAMA!
Rudeness.
Ok, I'm done with dislikes. If you fit into any of the above catagories, don't waste your time or mine, hit the back button and continue on with your search. I'm trying to stay positive, so I'll move on to Likes -
I like caring and understanding people that take the time to understand their needs and the needs of others and not be judgmental.
I enjoy deep conversations in drama-free settings.
People that are themselves, and that I know I can be myself around them as well.
A bizarre sense of humor is always a plus, but not TOO bizarre. If you don't know what I mean, it's probably you.
People who know how to have a good time with friends, and NOT let it turn into a teenage beach party.
I like self-discovery, which is the main reason I'm laying this all out.
If anything on here perks your interest, please message me. However, please do not message with one sentance (i.e. "Hi!") or other words that allow the world to know you have no interest in taking the time to do or say things properly (i.e. "so dats whats up"). I'm not a physically judgmental person, but there still has to be an attraction, which isn't always physical. I'm not looking to just be beaten and battered alone, but for a more spiritual, mental, and uplifting experience that helps me go forward in my journey and not set me back.
It was hard for me to get as far as I am, and I have no intention of regressing.
Thank you for your time in reading this.
**CONGRADULATIONS!**
You actually made it to the end.
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