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| It all begins and ends in the mind. The physical acts that we share are a manifestation of a connection of our minds. Our bodies make that connection stronger. More substantial. More real.
We both have a part to play. One must lead and one must follow. That is the nature of things. My will is stronger than yours. Whether you admit your weakness and embrace it, or maintain the fiction of your strength out of stubborn pride, yearning to be conquered. Because my will is stronger you shall submit to it. Again, this is the natural order of things. The strong rule the weak, the rich rule the poor and I shall rule you. And you will find exquisite pleasure in the arrangement.
I was born for the part that I play. I have the power in my professional as well as personal life. I am very good at whatever I decide I wish to pursue. Should that be you, I can assure you that you will find the experience most gratifying.
We have the desires that brought us together because of millions of years of evolution. Natural selection has made me an animal that seeks to acquire resources, including and most particularly sexual access to females, and to harm (even kill) anyone who frustrates my goals. That same natural selection has made you an animal that wants and needs to be taken by a strong man who will provide. You exist because countless generations of your female ancestors submitted to their men and kept those men happy.
Evolution also caused the enlargement of our frontal brain, permitting us to think about what we really need and to strip away the conditioning imposed by society that attempts to force us into molds that are contrary to our evolution.
We begin, thus, with the mental construct of BDSM. The mind is the beginning and end of what it is that we shall do. The physical acts in which we engage and sensory feedback that we enjoy are reflections of what began as thoughts and then manifested into actions. What are those thoughts?
From my perspective, I enjoy being in control. I am in control in my career, I am in control in the conventional aspects of my life and, thus, it is only natural that I seek control in my sexual endeavors. Being in control means others submitting to my will: consciously or unconsciously; expressly or implicitly; lovingly or by fear. The maximum pleasure for me comes from a conscious, express and loving submission.
From the prospective sub, it is the surrender that brings pleasure. You can be perfectly assertive in your mundane existence, but when it comes to sex you desire to be completely objectified by a superior will. Of course, you must first be certain that the dom is superior in every respect. Once you are, it is surrender to his desires that frees to in a way that you have never before been freed. By abasing yourself before him you will abrogate all responsibilities. He will lift you to heights having first plunged you through depths that you have never experienced.
How does this manifest? The root of all power is the ability to inflict harm. Nations cow their enemies with the threat of war and governments their own people with the threat of incarceration (a form of torture). In a dominant/submissive relationship the power is invoked by the threat and imposition of physical and psychological discomfort. That discomfort represents the exquisite intermingling between the great hope and the great fear: sex and death.
Sex is the ultimate life-affirming act. It is the ultimate hope. Lesser animals will sacrifice their own lives for the final ecstasy of a fatal mating. The incredible pleasure associated with sex for humans will drive us to madness when fully unleashed.
Pain is the reminder of death and death is the ultimate fear. BDSM permits the couple to transcend the boundaries between sex and death by retraining themselves to go beyond the society's chains (ironically by literal restraints). There is a threshold at which pain and pleasure meet. Do you remember your first sexual penetration? The pain of a torn hymen with the accompanying pleasure of the cock (or vibrator of finger or whatever it was) inside you. It is like that, only infinitely more intense.
To conclude with the practical, this means that every session is a psychodrama that seeks to bring this state of incredibly intense pleasure/pain. Sex is the first and most fundamental ritual. To that component of the ritual, we add an infinite combination of elements. This can include something as comparatively simple as living out our shared role-playing fantasies (think of the terrifying excitement of a rape, but by a man you know as sane and otherwise extremely respectable and without any adverse consequences). It can become as complex as a variety of binding, sex toys and means of inflicting discomfort (by the way, I buy new intimate equipment for a new sub - it is disrespectful and unhealthy to reuse these things).
We agree ahead of time on your limits. I then spend the week (or however long) planning the elaborate experience. You are surprised and enjoy it as a participant in a play, safe in the knowledge that I know your limits; but still having every experience for which you lust. I express my intellect and imagination in my performance art and achieve the climax that comes from fulfilling the role to which I was bred. I achieve, for lack of a better term, a complete penetration: your body, mind and spirit.
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| Age: 26 |
| Oslo,
Norway |
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