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Hello, I'm Cortney. You see this profile? This is THE most impressive profile I've ever seen -- it's mine. I've carefully constructed my profile along psychological principles to weed out men and woman whom most don't want, and the result has been that I've been meeting some really incredible people who are genuinely attractive, intelligent, confident, and playful. Now, rather than refer to 30 years' worth of research found in academic journals on social psychology and behavior modification, I'll just sit here all smug and shit and point out that if you read my profile and don't message or reply to me, it's because you're some combination of train wreck, stupid, insecure, and boring. True story. Since the Cortney is aware that the vast majority of people on online-dating sites are meet-nobody attention whores who are here for only ego-propping, validation, and therapy (that includes YOU until proven otherwise, sugar lips!), I have only one small request: DO NOT MESSAGE THE CORTNEY OR REPLY TO THE CORTNEY IF YOU SUCKY DUCKY WHEN IT COMES TO A BATTLE OF WITS. After all, since I'm betting 50-to-1 that you are too timid, socially anxious, neurotic, and downright paranoid to get away from boring text on the computer screen and actually meet a flesh-and-blood person, your conversational skills had better be worth it. And I should warn you that even if you stand your ground in the battle of wits, sweetness, you'll be completely confused whether you want to kiss me passionately or slap me silly. Bang. I'm smarter, more cunning, more challenging, and have more super powers than every man or woman on this site. I'm not for beginners, and if you are a beginner, I recommend gaining some entry-level experience with the illiterate knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers around the corner. Just look at them sitting down there like a panel of socially inept misfits and desperate virgins -- I wouldn't be surprised if at least one of them wants you to join him or her on his or her webcam so he or she can show you his or her goods and gag themselves with a poopy-trailed pair of undies. I'm a highly successful online dater, which I believe is the epitome of human accomplishment. I'm totally the complete package! I knows I can reduce any male or female body to a shuddering, trembling, back-arching, convulsing, Cortney-clawing mound of warm, sweaty, surrendering flesh -- even without the tantra techniques I picked up from all those slimeball e-books I read in between late-night porno sessions. I've found a better way of living. I just keep it real.... Ya know. Special? Hmmm, I am not sure if I am what you would call special. I however am dedicated to my family. I work for what I have and hold my head up.... Nobody can break me worse then I could break myself so I try not to let what people say or do get to me. I have a strong belief system that keeps me going when most things would bother people. I have had the world given and taken from me and still managed to keep my head about it. I study as much as I can because without a thirst for prosperous future what could I really offer my children. I am a mother first always, dedicated truly to guiding then down a healthy path. I love to cook, its a passion that's lead me to overcome many obstacles placed in my path and whenever I need a mental break from reality I defer to making a creation that could speak more then my own words could at times. I cherish life for what it is, You never know when those small moments that most take advantage of will slip away and you will cease to exist in this plane and have to placed in a spiritual one. I treasure those moments and try to laugh as much as I can. That however does not diminish my faults for I do have them! Trust me! But Id'e like to think (and perhaps its denial) that all that out weighs my faults haha.But enough about me, tell me about yourself.... describe to me what your profile won't show! I don't converse with to many on here because most the time they either want a piece of ass or can't hold a conversation. So shoot me a message, and if it seems we'd get along in some capacity, we'll go out there, make an awful lot of noise, and rock the fuck out. Psst, this isn't meant to be taken seriously.
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