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At this time, I am only seeking friends. I am in a new relationship with a local Dom. Although, I would desire the relationship to be more of a Master/Slave, he brings me joy. I wasn't looking for anything but he found me and I am glad he did.
I typically enjoy being in a relationship where I serve and am given multiple tasks to please my partner. However, I am very flexible and feel to serve means to serve in the way that pleases my Master. The one I am with now is not a Master but my orientation is still that of a slave, thus I am happy and content having him do things for me at times as he always seems pleased doing it. He does allow me to serve him at times and I try to anticipate things which will please him.
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Have read a few Doms profiles asking "where are all the people who want to meet for real?" Perhaps they should be in touch with all the submissives who are collared and then quickly decollared that the other doms find and mock. There seems to be a disconnect in the profiles they are finding. Or perhaps those who are seriously seeking and can't find anyone to meet, you should take a deep look at yourself and see if there is a flaw with you(either your ideal woman, the way you present yourself or something else). I do feel sympathy for those who seek but just can't find the right match. I too have found this to be hard. I know it is hard to be true to yourself on the profile as it is an advertisement but if you are a daddy dom and your profile comes across strict, you are baiting the wrong type of people. Just my thoughts. Oh, and again asking to be my friend before you have even emailed me is not a good way of introducing yourself. I don't think badly of these people personally, it is just a bad trend that has been taught to them. To me the more friends you have online then the more likely you are not for real, with few exceptions(such as your job is in this line of work)
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I just recently placed my profile back on CM and I am now receiving invitations to join peoples friends network. I don't get it. No introduction. No hello. I can only imagine in High School some kid coming up to me saying "hey, will you be my friend". The answer then is the same as now. No! I only become friends through talkinging and discovering we enjoy each others company. I don't want to be mean to these people. Perhaps they are the nicest people. But ultimately the reject buttom is pushed. Don't feel bad if rejected; I just do not bring people into my life without knowing a person.
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Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! |
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This morning i awake and my thoughts were already on Sir, which caused me to immediately long for him. i turned on the computer to see if he was up. (typically not as i get up fairly early to leave for work) He was not on. Although, i suspected he wouldn't be, i felt a deep disapointment in my heart. My reaction frustrated me also, as i was 99.9% sure he wouldn't be online at 5:30 in the morning. I am not very good at logically convincing myself of outcomes i deeply desire will not occurer. I stretched. Got dressed. And checked back again. My pulse quickened as Sir was online. However, sadness creeped in as He hadn't said anything to me. I fall on the bed. Face down and trying to remember that He is a busy man and that He is not there for me but for me to please Him. Thus if he wishes not to chat i should learn that he is being a wonderful Sir and not allowing habits which will get in my way of complete submission to him and keep me from being fulfilled.... Well i was trying to convince myself(lol) and was beginning to feel better. Then he messaged me... The rest of the day was wonderful.....Thank you Sir for your multiple gifts you bestow on me.
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i am feeling perky today. Sir came over which was a complete delightful surprise. i love that he feels comfortable at my house. Seeing him sitting with in a chair when i came home was the a most satisfying experience. The only problem was that my house was a little cluttered. i will need to clean so if he decides to pop by again.
He asked me repeatedly what i was thinking. i told him nothing. However, what i was thinking each time was how i wanted him to grab me, kiss me, touch me, use me and allow me to look into his eyes... Um.. well that is not completely true. i did think about grabbing his shirt, pulling it off and voraciously kissing his entire body. But i didn't think that would be correct to say or do. So i kneeled at his feet and looked up to him with adoration, pleading with my eyes and finding ecstasy in every touch given to me by Sir.
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Today has been joyful and aching. i have been conflicted at the depth of my devotion to Sir. i have nothing to compare my feeling with in previous experiences. i have never fallen so deeply for anyone before. i think of him often through out the day and even when i am actually being productive at work he is still there at the back of my mind. i know this because any lapse in work and he is right there. Be it thoughts of kneeling beside him, being used or remembering things he wants me to do( i am constantly thinking of how i might improve). He tells me this is normal however i do fear the depth in which i adore him will not please Him. In the non-master/slave world(really don't like referring to it as vanilla) falling to deeply to fast only makes the other in the relationship find the quickest exit door. i normally never feel i need to guard myself about this issue but with Sir it is the first time i ever felt i needed to be mindful of this. Well, it isn't working. Which is a good thing. my feelings are coming on so fast. i can barely get used to one level before i sink even deeper into a wonderful unfamiliar bliss.
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i never thought it was possible to desire and think of someone as much as i do Sir. The thoughts of his touch and kiss makes my skin tingle with anticipation. He causes my mind to go through withdrawl symptoms to feel His confident presences. i feel so silly but it is true. Yes, He is a very attractive Master. And yes He is very virile. And even more so, He asserts himself over me in the most delicious way. To serve an authoratative yet tender Master it a joy beyond measure. For He brings out what is best in his servant. Thank you Sir for allowing me to serve you.
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spent the entire weekend thinking of Sir. Thought i could throw myself into work. No such luck. i woke up with the hunger to serve him and thus since i couldn't in person, made sure i did all i could to serve him in other capacities:practicing positions, walking, cleaning, finishing work so i am free. These little things always make me feel close to Him. i enjoy talking to him in the morning frequently before i step in to work. This morning i didn't get to have that luxury. However, Sir was gracious enough to call and leave a message. oh how i became aroused when i saw he called and left a message. i relished the message left. it is always nice knowing Sir desires to use me. i only wish i could be there for him whenever he desired.
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i have been planning to attend Church for quite sometime now. However, i haven't been motivated in the morning. Today i went and i think the reason is because Sir thought it would be good for me. He knew i wanted to go. Thank you Sir. i enjoyed the service but i did have a hard time concentrating:)...i had to really, really focus on the service or my mind wondered back to Him.
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today has been an interesting day for me. i typically am completely relaxed on Saturdays and sleep in until a nice time of 10. Not today though. today i woke up at about 6 and i couldn't go back to sleep because i
was thinking of Him and have continued to think of him throughout the day. my mind is completely occupied by desires of being with him. My deepest desire was to serve him today but i knew he was going to be busy... but i knew i couldn't live without doing something.So i got out of bed about 6:20. Put on a sweater
and skirt. Picked out a pair of heels and went for a walk down the
street to practice walkingthe way in which he has instructed me. This didn't quench my thirst it only deepened it. As i walked i thought on the rules he has given me to memorize and how i could serve him when he wasn't there. When i got home, i
cleaned my room a little, as he doesn't like it messy. Pulled off all my clothes and did my morning
stretches he has instructed me own. i felt much better after that.(or i should say sore but
content)hehe.. Checked my
messages(for i am very excited to explore my fantasies as is Sir). i was fully awake and feeling a longing still growing. Thus, i decided to walk up St. Mtn..i felt it would clear my head and well help keep my body in shape for Him....
After i walked back down, a restaurant was giving a tasting of their food. The tasting was the size of a meal and it was delicious and healthy. Went home and then i was able to take a nap.
when i woke up. i stretched my hands above my head. Felt the sheets underneath me and thus immediately dreamed of Sir. binding my hands, biting my skin and well other delightful things. Got up put on my heels went to a cigar store to buy clip(at least i thinks that is the name). went to the mall and practice walking a little longer... oh and bought a new bra...i feel so awkward walking, like an infant having to think through each step.
The evening went the same. Except i was exhilerated by a phone call from Sir. i had not expected to hear from him today. He makes me feel so happy. He is a loving Master with a gentle but firm hand.(definitely a firm hand.. hehe)
Sir, your voice brings on a state of euphoria and hunger to kneel. When i see your name on caller id my heart begins to race with joy and a longing i have never experienced. Sir, i adore your eyes, presence, knowledge, touch, voice and confidence you exhume. i adore you, Sir
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i was asked today what i had learned about myself. i hadn't thought about it and thus didn't know. However, after the conversation i thought on it for a few minutes and realized i had learned something important about myself... i delight in being his slave.
Sir, knows i fantasized about being a servant and also feared it. i was scared that it would be to much for me. my friends in this community were always discouraging me to explore being a slave. i feared that if i explored them, the person would truly scare me or hurt me.
i discovered my heart is calmed and feels as if it has found peace, comfort, safety, and joy when serving Sir as his slave. (also very aroused) i hunger to express my devotion to him. Without Sir, i would still be apprehensive about being a slave. His confidence, demeanor, firmness and strenght(not to mention his piercing eyes) has showed me how natural and at home it is for me to be a slave to him. i am blessed to be with him and hope i can serve and amuse him always. Thank you Sir
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The thoughts and feelings of serving Sir were nowhere near the delights
and sensations of reality i experienced with him last night....What did
i think would happen? i imagined us talking at first, while i kneeled
at his feet and stared up into his eyes. A nice dinner and then perhaps
he would use me in the most lustful intoxicating ways. Filling my body
with his hard strong flesh.....What did i fantasize about? Being used
immediately. Having him take what he so desired, ascerting his
authority over me. However, i didn't think this would happen. i felt
that he was going to make sure i was completely comfortable first
because he would want to be nice to a new slave.....
It was a delight to find my evening did not go as i thought it might. I
believe he found joy in allowing me to quench my lustful desires. i
shall not go into detail. however, i enjoyed being his to do as he
wished.
What is better the sexual pleasures or kneeling tenderly before him?
not sure except to say that Sir has awoken my mind and through that my body. When i sit infront
of him and we talk. i can feel his eyes looking over me. penetrating my
soul. slowly chipping away pieces of any barrier i
knowingly/unknowingly have. the combination of his gaze, voice and a
simple touch makes me melt and makes my heart open more to him. Which
in turns makes my entire body surrender to him and crave him.
Sir, knew in my heart the longing i have ached for. He stated to me
"This is everything you fantasized about." i could have just said yes,
but i wanted him to know the truth. His presence was far greater than
ever i imagined.
How can Sir be so strong, confident, powerful, authoritative and at the
same time tender, loving and kind? Because he is a wonderful attentive
understanding Master.
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earlier this evening i said somethings that was out of line. i voiced my concerns because of insecurities that i have... After meditating tonight on how i could be a good slave, i realized the folly in my thinking. Lets just say, when i think about what i was concerned about it was as insignificant as Sir bringing a chair into my house because he thought it would help the ambiance. i was silly and felt he was was trying to say he didn't like the way i had decorated... i was wrong in my thinking. Sir, perhaps just felt the need for an extra chair. And if he didn't like the atmosphere, then it is his decision to change it if it pleases him. The only thing important to me is that he came over and i am able to serve him.
What i seek is to be his slave but i am still adjusting to understanding how to obey, be respectful and submit to his authority on all matters. i am thankful that he has allowed me to express my thoughts freely to him; for doing so has allowed me to free myself of them and be his slave indebted to kindness and mercy. Thank you, Sir. i only wish that i may show my gratitude toward you today.
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Slept on the floor again last night, but this time with no pillow.
Now that was a lot harder. i don't think i slept much and the slightest noises would wake me up.(most of the time i thought it was the one who wanted me on the floor walking in on me). i tried invane to use my hands or blanket to keep my face from touching the carpet as it felt scratchy...i told him thank you for allowing me the blanket but now i fear he will tell me to sleep on the floor without it...i guess he knows i would not sleep well but i did wake up full of energy.
i immediately awoke and did the stretches he recommended and then meditated on how i might be a good servant to him... i thought of different ways i could serve him but found my mind fantasizing of him... i need more discipline...
i hope the lack of sleep doesn't catch up with me at work. If it does, then at least i go to pranic healing and i can ask them to work on my energy levels.
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Last night i went to a role playing game and the entire time i was thinking that although i went with permission, perhaps i made the wrong decision. Now don't think that i didn't have fun. It was. i just think that if i had stayed home i may have been able to talk to the one who i naturally submit too. To have stayed home and been able to speak with him for just a few minutes, as he tells me how his day went and things which he would like me to do to prepare myself better for enslavement, would have been a delight. Driving home i was all giddy and excited at the fact that i already had orders to sleep on the floor.
it was a hard night as the floor felt rough and unforgiving under me. i awoke multiple times because of it but never got annoyed as i thought of the one i desire to be owned by each time. Life is good. i enjoy being considered by him and only hope i can fulfill all the things he seeks in a good slave.
The only down side was that when i woke up i saw i had missed chatting with him early in the morning. |
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This entire week I have been euphoric. A very attractive naturally strong Master has
allowed me the privilege to be under consideration to be his slave. He makes me
giggle at times but never truly laughs at me being naïve. My favorite thing
about him is the ease and comfort he has asserting his authority over me. He
encompasses every aspect of how a true man( as I feel they should always be
dominant) should act and treat a lady. He has only shown kindness toward me as he has given tasks to complete
in which he knows I delight in doing. I
can’t wait to sleep on the floor tomorrow as he instructed me to do. I have
even thought I might tonight, but now see it as a luxury he has not bestowed on
me.
I feel so lucky and blessed to find someone as special as
him. To be new and find someone with his experience, to be shy and find someone
who is patient enough to make me feel comfortable, to blush easily and find a
man who doesn’t allow it to be a reason to stop, to be a naïve girl and find a
master who delights in calling me his slut and to find someone who allows me to
be his personal wench to use when ever he deems fit is exactly what I have
found in him.
I once thought I had a completely clear idea of what I wanted.
He as already expanded and corrected my thought process on multiple topics. I have
discovered that what I long for the most is for my master to determine what he
wants from me and then pull it out of me.
The delights of being
considered for enslavement to a wonderful Master
1 sitting waiting with anticipation as to whether I would be
accepted for consideration- (caused a
deeper desire to please him)
2. coming home to find he had accepted me for consideration(intoxicating)
3. given rules and positions to follow-a gift( I was so
thrilled I remember them immediately and practiced the positions straight away.
Meditated on the rules in kneeling position.) Thank you, Sir. That was
scrumptious
4. being told to demonstrate the positions as he watched.(
ecstasy as I got to demonstrate my devotion and commitment to him and because I
knew he was watching…became highly sexually energized)
5. not being able to meet him ( saddened but comforted he
was kind enough to tell me earlier)
6. hearing from him when I least expect it( no way to
express how happy I became)
7. being told how to answer the phone when he calls(well
horny and aching for him to call)
8. imagining the ways
I may be used for his pleasure( fidgety, aroused, the thoughts keeps waking me
out at night)
9. being
rewarded(orgasmic)
10. thinking of him always( enrichment to my life as every
moment is a cherished moment of joy, lust or an intoxicating torment that I relish)
11. the feeling of being owned ( cherished, peace, joy and
daring to explore more than I ever imagined)
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