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| I like both sides of BDSM play.
I've known for a long time that I enjoyed being at the receiving end of pain play but haven't explored it much, except within the context of the occasional steady exclusive relationship. My day job involves controlling things and it's all thinking, intellect, rational analysis. I like being brought back into my body by the flash of pain and looking into the eyes of a woman who has complete control over me.
But on the other hand, as I explore more, I notice an increasing desire to learn how to use those tools [flogs, whips, canes, bare hand...] because there is something exciting and aesthetically pleasing about the artistry of the palm or flying leather striking skin: the rhythm of the percussion, the reactions, connecting with the recipient through the flow of sensation, seeing redness rise to the surface of the skin in beautiful ways, the flow of energy and the emotional connection. I'm also intrigued by the endless possibilities of restraint (with leather accessories, rope, etc.) and would like to explore this, from both sides. Rope, floggers, whips, and bare hands are some of the things I'm currently focusing on how to do. I'm enjoying my growing collection of toys and tools; including different restraints, and a wonderful assortment of floggers and whips, etc.
While I'm attracted to both roles, I want fully to be in just one of them at any one time, fully exploring that side of the power and control dynamic. My 'role' I selected on my profile started as masochist, then went to bottom, and now I've decided I really need to make it switch so it best reflects my attractions. I think it depends on the partner and how it feels between us.
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I would also just like to meet more people like the interesting and nice ones, clear and articulate about their passions, that I have met recently in this pretty vibrant Ottawa community. Of course, I'm also interested in play (the art too often lost in the process of finding our own place in the conventional world); but I like to get to know who I'm playing with first so I have a sense of who they are. Having a feeling for who you are, and you having a sense of who I am, seems to make the whole thing a lot more interesting.
I'm not looking for a steady BDSM relationship (i.e., a full-on master/slave relationship) right now. I'm more interested in "BDSM dating", at least until I have a bit more hands-on experience and find out who I really like playing with.
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