Wearing a Motley Crue t-shirt, listening to Michael Jackson, and reading a pdf document about black magic.  Interesting afternoon. 

Did the dishes, went to the library and found a great book, had a mexican hot cocoa at my favorite local hole-in-the-wall and now I'm going to take a nap. Today has been absolutely perfect. 

Watching "Guys and Dolls"

Young Marlon Brando could have had my permission to do ANYTHING he wanted to my body.

Soooooo dreamy. *full blown swoon*

“Down a winding pathway in a garden old,

tripped a beauteous maiden, but her heart was cold.

Came a prince to woo her, said he loved her true;

maiden said he didn’t, so he ceased to woo.

Came a perfumed noble – dropping on one knee;

said his love was deeper, than the deepest sea.

But the winsome maiden, said his love was dead,

and the perfumed noble, accepted what she said.

Came a dashing Stranger, took her off by force:

said he’d make her love him, and she did – of course.”

Hmm...I decidedly adore this poem.

Advanced into a new class at school today! Got great grades on all my finals (95% on my written chemistry test)

Now  I'm onto mens cuts and manicures. Gents, now's a good time to start lining up for amazing haircuts.

So psyched! Now I'm gloriously lounging with my little sister going over the days events and marinating in each others silent company, half-listening to some program called "Sex Sent Me To The ER."  Quite content.

Delibes "Flower Duet" and mani-pedis. Heaven.

Fell asleep again trying to watch the end of this documentary about H.P Lovecraft and had terrifying dreams of the worlds end. I was trying to swim through these crocodile infested waters with a small child and was in a panic trying to force my legs lower into the water because I knew she'd be an easy target. We were swimming over what used to be a Walmart in what was now an uninhabitable bayou. Somehow I got her to this small bank with a large tree. I set her high in the tree and told her she just needed to stay put long enough for me to swim down and find us supplies. When I reached the bottom I found a great wooden ship that had already begun to rot, and it's decayed wood was easily broken through. Once I was at the bottom all I was interested in were worthless trinkets. Suddenly, I was wrapped in the tentacles of two octopi who wrapped me in the embrace of death. It wasn't until I'd accepted my fate that they let me go and I rushed forward toward the light of the world above. When I returned the scene was a world born anew. The little girl and the large tree both were gone, and I could have cared less...........

So surreal...

The last time I fall asleep watching anything about Lovecraft :P

I've been addicted to the "word of the day" on dictionary.com or Merriam-Webster for as long as I can recall.

Todays word learned? Risible.

Full Definition of RISIBLE

What is sexy: Being erudite and well-read.

What isn't sexy: Not being able to distinguish between "you're" and "your"

For example; Neglecting to read my profile and sending me a vulgar message including a blurry picture of your less-than-extraordinary penis, saying "your gonna be my bitch" is less than attractive.

Interrupting me in bed whilst I thumb through my latest book and kissing my neck and growling "You're the most amazing bitch I've ever met...be mine" is extremely sexy. First you'd have to be invited to my boudoir. I don't invite illiterate men into said space.

Get it together, fellas.

Watching a documentary called "Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown"

Pretty awesome.

"Dark Paradise"

Watching a documentary on Ancient Egypt. Interesting stuff. I've been dreaming about sand a lot lately....

http://youtu.be/KuUMe-43A3E

*squeeking* Someone awesome just showed me "Battle Maximus" by Gwar!!! AMAZING! All I can think when I watch Gwar videos is "aww....but I wanna get thrown in a box!! I wanna be in a mosh pit!! I wanna be covered in gore and stage blood!!!!"

Soon, Gwar. Soon.

*big giant sigh* my doctor assured me that the pain medicated she prescribed would make me sleepy.....it's not her fault, obviously, but that information is anything but the case. It's 2:20 and I'm wide awake. I feel like I could stay up for HOURS. I don't feel tired at all. I loathe prescription medication for this reason precisely.

My sister: What are you doin?

Me: Writing a thank-you note to my doctor.

My sister: .....why?

Me: How many "thank you" notes do you think doctors get a day? I mean, saving lives is sort of a big deal. Plus, you know I like to write thank you notes to everyone.

My sister: I swear you were born in the wrong age

I have to agree with her.

Had a dream last night where I just couldn't figure out how to have sex with Khal Drogo in a tent on a beach in front of a Buddhist monastery. What?

Today was amazing. I've been in my room all day long just pouring through "The Hunger Games" and "Game of Thrones" (the new one)

I wanted to see "Catching Fire" and hadn't read any of the series yet. It's not as if I can't see a movie without reading the books first, but eventually the curiosity will get the better of me and I'll end up reading the books after seeing the movie. That can get a little too redundant. At least if I read the books first I can spot the differences right away. If I keep going at this pace I'm sure to finish the books by morning.

I needed a relaxing reading day.

Hmmm..so I've been reading up on hypnotism. I'm not really that interested in being hypnotized for anything in particular, but my girlfriend has night terrors. I just feel so terrible for her! She wakes up screaming and crying about how there are spiders all over her. She says it's not a few, it's thousands, and she wants it to stop. I get a lot of messages from hypnotists.....any of you guys figure you can help my lady friend? She says she won't do it unless I'm in the room to keep someone from implanting crazy ideas into her head, so ...that's a factor. Let me know ^_^

50 Shades of Grey is only really good for making origami (I've discovered)

The book was awful. I'm irritated at the girl who gave me a copy and said "I think you'll really like this since you're into weird kinky stuff"

No, Ma'am. 

Worst book I have ever had the misfortune of reading all the way through. Apparently, there are second and third editions of this garbage.

Nope. Not unless I get into a wild origami phase...

Cleaning the house and listening to metal = the answer to all of my most complex conundrums.

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages.

At first, the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.

Then the whining schoolboy,

with his satchel

And shining morning face,

creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school.

And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace,

with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress' eyebrow.

Then a soldier,

Full of strange oaths

and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honor,

sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon's mouth.

And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lined,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances;

And so he plays his part.

The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;

His youthful hose,

well saved, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank,

and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble,

pipes

And whistles in his sound.

Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.       

Demanding to have my contact information, telling me to get online right now and show you my tits, and being pissy when I tell you to check yourself doesn't make you a Dominant.

It files you under "another petulant child who wants to see free tits."

Try redtube.

I can't stop playing this song...

"Young And Beautiful" Lana Del Rey

errr....tips for the tipsy: Don't update your collarme video greeting while in a drunken stupor...it'll only become too difficult for you to delete in your drunken future. Thank the gods for auto correct. :/

Listen to Mac Lethal "Lithium Lips" before you ask me to tell you more about myself.

Things have been stressful lately; I'll leave it at that. If you're feeling a burning yearning to care for me and do something nice a few kind words go a long way. As far as my wants and needs go I always do the same thing when I'm feeling overwhelmed: I edit the things in my life I do and don't need to be happy and whole.

Here's my list I've come up with so far today:

Things I Do Not Need (distractions/ mounting issues/problems I've avoided/made worse/completely ignored) AKA Needs improvement

• Negativity expressed in anything but constructive criticism
• To be personally involved with any interpersonal issues that are not my own
• Unchecked chaos
• More time sleeping in
• Not monitoring my intake of antibiotics (skipping doses)

Things I Do Need (personal responsibilities that will be more closely monitored to insure I'm at my best)

• Me time - focusing on my health in all areas - especially foot massage
• Maintaining school schedule (being on time for all classes/no absences)
• Private living space
• A detailed budget I will stick to

annnnnd I feel better just writing that list. Boom. To be cont'd

Came home to an utterly empty house. My friends I'd made weekend plans with ended up bailing on me. The fire I attempted to start in the fireplace just isn't coming along. I'm hoping things suddenly turn toward something more exciting but I have some strong doubts at the moment considering it's already 9:30pm.

*sigh* Luckily I have some home work to finish up. This is the first weekend in a long time I haven't felt "in demand"

Hate it.

What will I do to improve my situation? Pamper myself.

Paint my nails while I watch "Cloud Atlas" (again)

Deep condition my hair.

Wax my ....everything, actually. I can't stand body hair.

Flat iron my hair (it's naturally curly, but you'd never know it with how often I decide to wear it straight)

Clean my room.

Clean the kitchen and the bathroom.

Make a strong drink and fall asleep by midnight. Wooooo! Solo Saturday!

Annnnd that's how fast it takes my mood to go from negative to positive lol

Watching this CRAZY documentary with my sister about this whale at SeaWorld named Tillicum who killed a grip of people. It's pretty wild, actually. I think we're up to 4 people who died because (total presumption here) the whale loathes being in captivity. Understandable. Someone asked me once if I'd ever dreamed of living a life in captivity; certainly not. I can't imagine going from having the entire world open to me to living in a cage. It sounds terrible. Apparently, it drives whales insane :/ I'm going insane with all the commercials this channel has. I wanna hear about true-whale-crime!

Still not feeling 100%, but we're having my favorite soup for dinner so that's a plus.

I had this terrible dream that my wisdom teeth fell out. I was scrambling to get ready for school because I knew I was running late for a mandatory 2chainz concert held in opera form...powdered wigs and all...Weird, right?

Also, went through and deleted all of the messages in my inbox I didn't consider absolutely worth keeping. It's nice not to have 9 pages of messages.

My birthday was fully amazing. My friends were all there and the house was decorated to Halloween perfection! Everyone had spooky costumes on, and I even had a surprise visitor (a girlfriend I haven't seen in like a year or more) ...I ended up waking up half naked with her on a couch and we were just cracking up about it. No idea why, but every time she and I hang out together we end up passed out next to each other waking up with no CLUE how we got into such a state; clothes will be missing, we'll be wearing the clothes of one another. One time we both woke up with honey all over our arms and stomachs. Weird, I know. This time I blame Captain Morgan.

Somehow between there and this morning I got violently ill. I mean, I can't remember the last time I felt this sick. It's certainly not hang over sort of sick, either. My body aches all over, I've been hot and cold all day running a crazy temperature. Sniffles, sneezing.. this morning I could barely hold down water.

Now I'm just sipping tea and watching scary movies. I've taken plenty of tylenol, tried to drink as much water as I can, and I made some noodles that are just sort of hanging out on the table because I can't force myself to eat anything right now.

It's been going around my school. The other day a girl got sick in the corner in class. I hope I don't have what she has, but it seems pretty likely. I don't want to miss any time from school but I don't want to get the other girls sick, too. Hopefully I feel better in the morning.

So I was feeling all hot and bothered and went to check out some porn. I saw something promising in this cute redhead between a blonde chick and a pretty hot guy with tattoos, so I went for it.....BIG MISTAKE. The blonde had a New Jersey accent that just really turned me off in a major way. I fast forwarded to see if maybe she'd quit talking but had no such luck..she was one of those really talky people during sex and everything she said was just so awkward......Ever had that happen to you? It was rough...

On a happier note; I just realized it's the blood moon tonight! Perfect opportunity for me to make lots of birthday wishes.

P.S - it's my birthday in 4 days. Now is a good time to start with the heavy compliments.

Oh, and I put some new pictures up for your viewing pleasure. You're welcome.

I had the strangest dream last night. I was dating a boxer and agreeing to all sorts of weird body modifications at his request. We were living in my childhood home. It felt so real.

I've moved on in my schooling into a technical class. It's all about learning color techniques and how to create cool shades and depths with dye. I love it.  I passed my last practicals with B+'s on everything. I know; you're terribly proud.

Spending the day in under lots of blankies watching scary movies is the best

This "findomme" phenomenon I keep seeing all over collar me reminds me of a poorly written advertisement on backpages.  I don't really understand how being a 19 year old and "demanding" amazon gift cards makes you a dominatrix. The constant plea for money and financial restitution for web-caming looks desperate and sort of pathetic.

/rant.

I can no longer resist the siren song of my bed.

Working on all my grown-up responsibilities in some major ways lately. Getting a lot done in school, showing up on time for all of my appointments, waking up when I'm supposed to and not hitting snooze. It sounds like the basic "well, that's what you're supposed to do as an adult" to some, I'm sure..but the truth of the matter is I usually haven't had to live that way. I've gotten away with being late and sleeping in most of my life. I've never been grounded, never had a curfew. I've never taken adult responsibilities very seriously, in all honesty...not until lately. No one has ever really told me what I needed to do or when, and it feels good to take responsibility and start making an example for myself by myself. 

I'm feeling like a flower in bloom today.

Thou who shalt look more than once without daring to send me a friendly hello; You offend me with your lack of common courtesy. Say "hello" or "hell no" but please, please please..let me get what I want: interaction, satisfaction, and understanding. Don't perv me on the regular without saying hello and hold tightly to  the unrealistic expectation that I will submit to your every desire and take the first step toward conversation. Sometimes, I feel like a nut; sometimes I don't. Be bold. I'm into that sort of thing. "Hello, your majesty" or "Hello, potential passionate interest" is a good warm-up. Just sayin.

P.S - Immediately showing me your downstairs mix-up does NOT count as a satisfactory salutation in my opinion

I desperately want sleep right now, but my brain would rather hash out all sorts of terrifying scenarios and past mistakes. Tried meditating and deep breathing. Tried melatonin. Tried Jack Daniels (in some hot tea.) Tried a movie in the background. Tried ambient noise behind a soothing soundtrack.

Ugh. Times like these I wish I had a slave tucked away quietly at the foot of my bed so I could poke them awake with my foot and demand a lullaby and back massage.

You know those funny little memories that you wish you could remember more vividly when they become old and stagnant? Maybe they weren't life defining, but somehow they held substance....Somehow they were real and so tangible at the moment, it felt like you could hold that memory in your hands.

I don't know if you ever feel that way. Sometimes I do. Sometimes it's nostalgia, sometimes it's just some feeling thought...I digress

I had a moment the other day I want to remember, so I'm writing it down.

I was getting off the freeway and feelin' mighty fine. Maybe it was just a good hair day, maybe it was the way the sun was shining through the clouds just- so...Anyway, I was feeling grand. Every song on the radio was my JAM. I was car-dancing like a mofo.

I stopped at a stop light. There was a guy with a sign who had this look of resignation on his face. I don't know if you've ever seen it, or had the same visage....it's the look you get when one too many people just looked THROUGH you. It's not like when someone catches your eye and then looks away nervously, or like they can't be bothered. It's more gripping than that...it's when one too many people had passed you by REFUSING to even see you. It's like you're some sort of fly on their windshield, or like you're a dirty graffitied word on highway sign. I wish I had the right words to explain how that feels but I really just can't right now (maybe ever) explain that look. Regardless, he had it.

I didn't have any money, I'd stopped at a Texaco and paid the attendant my last $3.07 in loose car change. I didn't have any food. I couldn't think of anything fruitful to say. His sign said "I just need help." I wanted to help.

I had been jiving all the way up until that moment. I realized with a jolt that my crazy shimmy had stopped, and he was looking straight at me. I tuned in to what was playing and a grand idea crossed my mind.

I rolled down the window and started belting the lyrics to Bruno Mars "Treasure" to him. I tossed my sunglasses aside with a dramatic flare and pointed straight at him. We made eye contact and I howled "TREASURE!!! That is what you are!! You're my shinin star!!! You can make my dreams come true!! If you let me treasure you!!" I started really working my shoulders and smiled my biggest smile. He looked around as if there had to be someone I knew right behind him. The biggest beaming grin started covering his face the second time I pointed. He knew there was no car full of cute boys behind him. He knew I could see him. He started getting into the tune, and doing a little dance himself. We started laughing. The light turned green. I blew him a kiss.

I was just wondering if that moment had crossed his mind again.

This could be you. Please don't immediately send me pictures of your genitalia. I'm more interested in what's between your ears. 

A warning:

Him:

If you cannot differentiate between the words "your" and "you're" please do not bother contacting me. 

I keep telling myself that this is the way I wanted things.

I wanted to be busy and successful in school. I wanted 11 hour class days, and to learn at a fast pace. I wanted to limit my social engagements down to just weekend activities and the occasional soiree.

Nights like this though? I really want to have a drink (or six) and dance until I fall asleep on the floor.

Still, every time I've tried to participate in a raging party lately I've been that girl who says goodnight to everyone around 1AM and sleeps until noon the next day. My wild fun times are behind me for the time being and I'm trying hard to be an adult about it.

If I could have anything in the world right now I'd have someone to come rub my shoulders and calves (wearing heels all day may not have been the most sound decision...but I looked adorable) make me a delicious garden salad with lots of greens and reds, and a TON of cucumber...oh, oh! Scratch that! I'd want a half a cucumber chopped up and lightly salted on a little saucer..mmmm. Afterwards they would make me fresh crab, lobster, and scallops.

Is it weird that I enjoy it when people watch me eat? I've had a lot of people say they love watching me eat, and I always think it's amusing to see others expressions when I geek out over how happy I am over a meal.

After that, I'd love a scalp massage with some essential oils while we watch some really really bad old horror movie.

In the end I'd like to be thoroughly sexed into a drooling puddle of sleepy-times.

In the morning I'd like to FINALLY go use my gift card I've had FOREVER and get some new make-up at Sephora.

Perfect night. Perfect day.

A girl can dream, right?

I always know when I've officially had an earth-rocking orgasm because I go partially deaf in both ears for a few seconds/minutes afterward. Win.

I want to go sex toy shopping. I feel deprived.

Awesome house-warming party with a bunch of my tribe last night. It was crazy fun. We played "never have I ever" for the millionth time and it was as fun as ever. I even met two new guys who were pretty rad. I convinced one of them to wear my panties and walk out into the party. Apparently, he fell asleep in them LOL Good times.

You know what makes me feel soooo accomplished? Taking five GORGEOUS baby loaves of zucchini walnut bread out of the oven. 

My room mate LOVES the stuff. She brought me home a giant zucchini from work one day and said "I don't know what to do with this, but I was hoping you do"

As a matter of fact, I do! Baking is one of my passions. There are few things that make me more excited and happy than to watch people take bites of food I've made and make an "mmmmm" sound. I tried a piece from the last batch and I do have to admit it was quite delicious.

You know, I've never been offended when I hear the whole "a woman's place is in the kitchen" gig...it's never bothered me in the least. Surely, it isn't the place for EVERY woman. For me though? It's great.

When I've been stressed out about something or don't know what to do with my life/mind/mentality I always find that baking something as a gift to someone else is a major comfort. It makes me feel safe and secure. If I know a recipe by heart it's even better. Something about the routine of washing my hands, getting out the proper utensils and ingredients, preparing it all in order...it takes me away from whatever else could be worrying me or occupying my thoughts. All I think about is the timer and if I got the measurements right.

Same with cosmetology. When someone is in front of me asking for a make-over I get completely lost in them....the shape of their eyes, the way their mouth crinkles in the corners when they smile. I find something to love in everyone when I'm busy shampooing their hair or helping them pick a color for their manicure.

Simple things make me happy. Today I'm contented in all the simple things.

Who knows, one day maybe I'll open a little cafe in my own beauty shop. Wouldn't that be cute? When I dream it I see a little coffee shop through an art-filled hallway...just a nook, really, with cupcakes, brownies, zucchini bread, and the like for people who have to wait. A girl can dream, can't she?

Please, please, PLEASE don't be silly or ignorant when you send me a message.

Getting to know you online would be a joy and a pleasure, I'm sure. That said, I strive at all times to be conscientious and considerate of your thoughts and feelings in all I say to you. I'd hope you'd treat me the same way.

Today is the third day in a row I've received a message about how my profile isn't that of a "true sub"...

and here's my overall reaction:

First of all, I'm not labeled as, or interested in being a full time submissive. Anyone who has read my profile understands that my first and foremost priority is my education. My second biggest priority is improving my existing relationship with the kinksters in my local community and the people I currently chose to spend time with.

If it suits your lifestyle or not, my main focus is in life right now is improving myself.  That's where my heart is. It is not in being a 24/7 lifetime submissive.

Secondly, I pose a question. If I were yours in my mind, body, and soul...if I were your submissive and you cared for me truly ..would you approve of me meeting random strangers from the internet without a chaperone? Would you be pleased to find that I'd spoken of myself as available and free to meet anyone at any time? How about finding out that my profile construed me as the type of person who wouldn't consider their own hard limits or dislikes?  If something or someone is truly precious and valuable to you wouldn't you expect them to present themselves in a way that is true to themselves and true to the respect you deserve?

Let's be real...I am interested in learning more about myself in both aspects of dominance and submission. But on the topic of submission in particular...

IF I ever were to choose a dominant in my life to offer myself to in submission I would expect them to be considerate of my safety and needs. I don't always need to be right, or have an opinion voiced on every subject. However, I do expect someone dominant in my life to consider my safety and sanity above all else between us. I'd want them to keep me from true harm...harm from myself, and harm from others.

Anyway, 

/rant

EEEEEEEK!!! Guess who got 100% on their Salon Ecology test??? This guy right here! So proud.

Learning layering now in class. Exciting stuff. Riveting, really. I love it. Still, I can't help but wonder why it is that on days I have class, the alarm rings and it takes me 20 minutes to work up enough gusto to get coffee started and get out the door on time. I fall asleep around 11 and can't believe the alarm is going off at 6. Days I don't have class however? I wake up at 3 am almost religiously. It's weird. I wake up and just feel like staying up until 5 or 6 in the morning. Afterwards I want to sleep all day until 2 or 3 in the afternoon, and then getting to bed at an early hour seems almost impossible. Someone suggested melatonin supplements today. I smiled and nodded and told her I'd look into it. Sure, I'll try anything once.

You wanna know the truth though? I don't think I need pills. I think I just need to get back into a schedule of being fucked into submission until I pass out. *shrug* It sounds simple and silly but the truth of the matter is I never slept better than when I had a lover who literally wouldn't stop using my body until I would pass out from all the exertion. I'd wake up chipper and ready to get stuff done for the day. Also, it helped open up my hips for belly dancing moves. True story. I read an article once that suggested a large number of men are highly turned on by a certain gait that women usually display after being regularly joint-ran. Those women have a more relaxed swing to their hips, and tend to let their lower back and stomach relax more while they're walking. Horses have such a thing as a tell-tale gate as well. The study suggested men are naturally more attracted to women with that gait.

Annnnnyway, sort of a long rant to say I don't want melatonin, I want a sex life again. This celibacy thing is getting quite boring......Oh, you're wondering how long it's been? Let's just say we're in the category of months. Why? Well, let's just be honest here...I've given up on having vanilla sex. I know you've probably heard it before from someone else but I'm telling you seriously...I can't have another four minute sexual encounter. I literally just can't have sex one more time with the lights off and missionary. It sounds so tedious and boring that the very thought has kept me from even considering doing the deed. It's not as if there haven't been volunteers to help me break the tedium but.....how can I put this tactfully....I don't want roses and sweet nothings. It's not that I don't appreciate going on a date to the movies and it's not that I'm not enamored with being treated like a lady. That's all well and good....but behind closed doors? I need something more. I'm not exactly sure what it is right now but I know I need something different...something I've never done before and swore I never would. I want to push boundaries and explore territories unknown.

Right now though? I think I'll try to go back to sleep and dream about what I really want.

Today I did my first mannequin haircut. It turned out absolutely fabulous. I noticed a lot of my classmates staring at the hair in front of them with open horror written all over their faces. Our instructor quite literally had to walk around the room and hold peoples hands to convince them it was OK to take the first snip. Not this kiddo! No way, no how. I jumped straight in without a moments hesitation and started snipping away. I was super satisfied with the results. I was happy to have the confidence not to second guess my first cut. It just makes me more sure that with time and practice I could become really good at this. I'm super excited for all the learning we've been up to, but I'm sad to say that I haven't really been up to much of anything else besides school and more school work. Maybe I'll have something a bit more exciting for you next time....one can hope, anyway.

The names you all have come up with have been sooooo awesome. Here are some I'm trying to chose from:

Zephyr, Valencia, Bunny, Aurora, Spirit, Life, Mira, Deena, Billie, Josephine, Holiday, Vivien, Jade, Athena, Magenta, Cherie, Jubilee, Domino, Freya, Roma, Fiera, Valkyrie, or Olympia.

I find it particularly amusing my birth name was already taken.

I feel like the childlike Empress from "The Never Ending Story" ....I only have 3 more days to pick a floor name for beauty school. Any suggestions? What would you call me if you had to re-name me? Be nice.

Amazing weekend with friends and family. Went out with my girl Phoenix for karaoke at the Thunderbird on Saturday. Went floating the river with my tribe yesterday. Who knows what fun will come up today? All I know is that I've got to be up at 5 tomorrow, so whatever it is can't be all that crazy :/ So hard when the weekend is over.

http://youtu.be/bcnWysA9gxo

I woke up with this song "Euphoria" by Loreen stuck in my head something fierce. I had been dreaming that I was dancing. There was a huge fire in an open field. I was with other girls, and I knew them in my dream...we were sisters in something, I just don't know in what. One had the most amazingly beautiful raven hair I'd ever seen on a woman. Every time she passed me in my dream I felt it tickle as if it were real. I don't think I've ever met any of them in my waking life. This song was playing...it was so loud but it felt like it was coming out of the wind. When I reached my arms upward I could stretch as high as the tree line if I wanted to. My feet would leave the ground and stay gone for what felt like minutes. There were these birds, but instead of looking like regular birds they looked like fireflies with wings. I could smell the sea in my dream, but I didn't see any sand. Something was coming...something or someone. We were all so excited. I had this amazing dress on. It was red and skintight against my upper body but it flew in every direction when I twirled around. The bottom was strips of this light shiny silk. I made a lot of noise when I moved - jingling bells. No one else had bells on, but they each had something totally different about their costume. One had feathered wings on her back that actually made her fly. One had a head dress made of golden shells and bronze sea grasses. One had children. They were so adorable! Maybe 2 or 3, they were little wildlings. They grabbed at everything flying around in the air. There were bubbles with little objects in them...knick knacks. A watch, a spoon, a single earring. It was beautiful. I wish I could go back to sleep and dream it again. 

Another rigorous and exciting day at the school of education of the subject of beautification. Today I learned to do Marilyn Monroe style curler waves, and the Jessica Rabbit over-the-eye look. I'm considering a steamy shower and some practice with all my new hair utensils and know-how.  It would be a pity to be all dressed up with no place to go though....I wonder what there is to do in Tacoma on a Thursday night....hmm.. I'm open to suggestions.

My first day of school was AMAZING! My instructor could be my twin. It's kinda weird...but she's a great teacher and REALLY funny. I can tell this is going to be an amazing experience. Best part? I already finished my homework and it isn't even due till Saturday. Dishes are done, gonna clean the kitchen and do some laundry...maybe watch a movie before my 9 o clock bed time. 

Starting school tomorrow! Sooooo ermagerd excited. 

Best flattering compliment I've heard all month "Yeah...I've fapped to your pictures like 7 times" ....oh rearry? Why, thank you.

Trying to ease myself into the routine of living the "early to bed, early to rise" mentality. It's proving taxing. For the last two nights I've stayed up late watching movies from Crackle, on the kindle, in my bed. Tonight's feature film was "La Femme Nikita" Perhaps if I immerse myself in french speaking movies during my sleep times I'll pick up some of the finer points in the language, no? Regardless, I've been setting my alarm for 6am so's that I may get used to my new waking time before school starts. The internet being so vast and infinitely entertaining for the sake of curing boredom really isn't helping... 

I keep having the strangest cravings for foods I don't usually want. I think it's all the internet commercials for fast food. I wish I could tell you something terribly sexy and erotic about the last few weeks but unfortunately I've been so caught up with wrapping up my summer before school starts that I really haven't even considered any amorous adventures. Hmm...note to self: have more amorous adventures. 

Almost fully moved into my amazing new place. Awesome roomies, great energy in the house. I'm so happy! I'm certainly procrastinating on the folding/hanging clothes bit. It's so overwhelming! What can I say? I enjoy being a girl. Tonight I want to go out and explore the Tacoma night life. Who's with me!?! 

http://youtu.be/NCJQVFTGQEY

Live it. Love it.

I'm pretty sure this song will help me get my room packed in less than 3 hours. I can't stop shimmying. 

"Blurred Lines"
(feat. T.I. & Pharrell Williams)

Have my bed and most of my clothes moved up to Tacoma. Packing more today (briefly) then going to the river with friends. Moving more tomorrow. I've been having a lot of anxiety ridden dreams. I think it's normal considering the circumstances. I could use a great massage. 

Back from the last of my summer vacation. Packing up for the big move tomorrow and trying to make plans with friends at the same time :/ sort of rough

I feel very provided for by the universe right now and want to take a moment to say how grateful I am. Everything I've written about being a concern or worry has been resolved in a few days. I know life doesn't always work out that way, but right now I feel like I'm on the right path and doing what's good for me.  It's frightening; the concept of moving in with new roomies and starting a new school. I keep procrastinating on packing up my things for the move: I think I might have a lot on my plate going on a camping trip right before my move date. I've had this trip planned for a month or two now; the roomies and moving thing just seemed to work out and fit perfectly. I'll leave this evening and be back on Saturday. That gives me Sunday to pack and Monday to move in. I won't start my new classes until the 16th, so I have a few weeks to get all settled in and comfortable. I already have my new school supplies ready and labeled, so no stress there. I've plotted out my bus route (I did a financial plan and figured out it'll save me a couple hundred dollars a year to commute that way. I've sworn to buy myself a new pair of thigh high boots with the money I've saved for my graduation gift.)  Today I'm just folding away non-essential laundry (the stuff I won't bring camping and I won't need to wear during the move) I don't have a ton of belongings or anything: really just a room full. It's still taxing to go through all my old things; it's bringing up a lot of memories. I've found myself crying a few times to day but it feels cathartic and good to let it all out. I was worried about not finding a bed, but my friend Alycia is giving me her old one and her boyfriend even volunteered to let me use his truck for the day for moving provided I pay for my own gas; I think that's fair and reasonable. 

What I'm trying to get around to is that I feel good; I feel provided for and I'm thankful that even when I feel stressed or overwhelmed I still have a sense of accomplishment and getting things done. I'm happy things are coming together well and I look forward to all the changes to come

So...the logistics of moving things by myself...hmm.

Yes; I know what you may be thinking "But Allura..are you saying you've never ever moved out on your own" No, no..silly...I've moved around plenty. It's just ....someone else always did it for me.

I read a really interesting journal entry of a dom once who insisted that one of the things he always made his girls do (no matter what) was learn how to fill out applications, change a tire on the freeway, change the oil..you know..big kid stuff....

I guess the only part I'm really struggling with is figuring out how to get a bed up there. The rest I think could fit generally in my car...it'll be a few trips.

Maybe I should just do the U-haul thing....

Hmm. Grown-up challenges. I like this.

Holy Hades!!! I found the most amazing roomies ever in Tacoma. I'm so excited! I'm moving on the 1st. 

I have spent the entire afternoon dancing in my kitchen. I have no intention of stopping until I have to get ready for the show tonight :P 

Just got back from the best camping trip EVER 

Camping for the next four days in Ocean City! Feel free to leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Ermagerd, I can't believe it's Glamazon day already!! I'm so excited! Tonights outfit will be serving mermaid REALNESS.

Looking for a roomie in the Tacoma/Federal Way area. Send me a message if you're like-minded and looking for one, too! 

Camping Monday -Thursday. I'm psyched. I know I need to brace my liver; my friends are wild and I'm sure there will be copious amounts of drinking. I don't need a lot to wear - generally we end up walking around in our underwear the second day. I can't let myself forget to bring D batteries! I have to blow up my air mattress. Lots of the guys are saying it doesn't count if I sleep on an "actual bed," but I beg to differ INDEED. 

Best morning workout playlist EVER.

& I know this weekend will be ridiculously good. The bribery offers are already coming in for time and giggles.

Now playing "Wild Night" (The John Mellencamp version. I got a day to start here) 

http://youtu.be/YwLMM_QBkMc

Pretty much all I have to say to most guys right now. 

Yeesh. I could really go for a massage right about now. It was a very productive day for me.I did lots of important paperwork and filing, got all the requirements met for school, finished my homework AND finished all the cleaning and laundry for a 4 person household. I'm exhausted. I feel accomplished and happy. I'm content, just had dinner. Over and out for now.

I started with a dream...why not carry on that way?

Last nights didn't make much sense to me. It was all about tidal waves. They weren't big or destructive or anything; just everywhere I went had them...like regular places, you know? I'd be at a bar in Seattle and it would just start flooding up. Once I was in a grand resort, and another time I was at beauty school. After the water would rise up, it would start to recede again. I was never scared or worried that the flood would wash me away, or that anyone else would be seriously injured. This is what "Dream Moods" (the online dream dictionary I use when I'm bored and curious) says:

Flood 
To dream that you are in a flood represents your need to release some sexual desires. If the flood is raging, then it represents emotional issues and tensions. Your repressed emotions are overwhelming you. Consider where the flood is for clues as to where in your waking life is causing you stress and tension. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are overwhelming others with your demands and strong opinion. Still another interpretation could be your desire to wipe everything clean and make a fresh new start.

To see a gentle flood in your dream indicates that your worries over a certain matter will soon be swept away

I guess that makes sense. I  mean, I am stressed about work and school; who isn't? If you're one of those people who aren't; don't answer that...just take me away from all this :D 

I dunno about the overwhelming others with my feelings or strong opinions. I haven't really shared any particularly deep feelings or opinions in the last few days. 

As for a fresh start....meh. 

Anywho....I need coffee. More to come later.

   Phew....  Well, before I forget this amazing dream I might as well make it my very first journal entry, ey? I'll just jump in head first, how 'bout that?

So...egads, I just got the most intense deja vu..strange.

Ok. Here's the dream. I was performing a belly dance routine on a stage in a large field on a stage surrounded by outdoor lights. I can't recall if my troupe was with me or not, but I remember the song (I've performed to it before. Music happens a lot in my dreams.) It was this one ..or pieces of it anyway...

http://youtu.be/6Wyv9C-2_cg Nancy Ajrams Am Byesal Albi.  

Anyway, there was this guy doing fire dancing while I was performing. I couldn't focus on what I was doing; he was so good. My routine ended and I left the stage. He told someone they couldn't leave with the pictures they'd taken of me; they were somehow "obscene" (his words, not mine.) I didn't understand what was going on, and I was so HOT in my dream.I remember my body was slick with sweat. When I touched my stomach in the dream I could feel it on my hands, as if it were real. Somehow (it happened really fast) I was stretching out on the ground. From what it seemed like, I was just stretching out after rigorous activity. Here's where it got crazy-sexy out of no where; I was on my knees with my arms reaching out in front of me as far as I could go. He sat in front of me (sort of perched on his knees) and began to drag his fingernails down my back. He leaned forward and had a HUGE jaw...as in, he took the entire back of my neck into his jaws and sort of pressed down with his teeth. He wasn't biting me; it didn't hurt at all. It was just this amazing intense pressure. Somehow we ended up having explosive sex. I didn't see it or feel it happening but the dream changed and I was just another guest outside of the party listening to what was happening. Sounded like the most amazing sex ever.  I don't think I've ever actually really met the guy, but he seemed so familiar. Anyway, I figured I'd jot it down before I forgot it. It was a really good dream.