A little over three months ago I made some drastic shifts to my profile, and began to look at the BDSM lifestyle and community as a whole in a different light. Though I don’t regret that I took this new perception, in fact I still prefer it, I do wonder about those I’ve come into contact with since this shift. Is it a safe assumption that I’ve garnered little respect, a grain of animosity, and even a small layer of distrust or skepticism in having this epiphany and admitting my difference in self?

Strangely, I’ve never been one to enjoy standing at a podium to discuss myself. I don’t mind standing at a podium to lead, to create order, but not so much just to ramble about myself. In writing this, specifically these sentences, I find myself confused at the near paradox I’ve created. All the same, I guess this idea of a journal is a way to gather my thoughts and look back over them, reflect, and even accept the input of others about my position and understanding.

I read others profiles, and I come to decisions of if I want to speak with them or not based on how their words shape the mental appearance I have of them. In the, generally, few brief paragraphs we as members have the pleasure of reading about fellow members, we must choose if the person has gathered our attention in such a way that we wish to give them more of it. Even as a dominate, as a Master, I find myself offering my interest and time to a submissive in this nature completely, almost asking for more of their time should they have the same desire or interest to learn more about me as a dominate, as a potential member of their life in some manner.

What grows confusion in my mind is the level of activity and the broad generalities that I’ve seen so common within the community. It seems more and more as my conversation count increases that the number of definitions for each idea and act is equal to the number of people who know of it. I understand we each have perception and preference, but this differing opinion and drastic change in ideas and natures makes for a clique-like nature in the groupings here. Those who carry a different idea or belief in an action seem at odds with those who carry a different opinion, and rather than seeing those people and trying to understand the other half of the equation, it seems to be ignored.

Even in trying to make friends, in trying to make an acquaintance, it seems that if your profile says you enjoy something that another has as a hard limit, that you can expect to be ignored a solid half of the time. In the instance that you aren’t ignored, it seems that more often then not, you’re taking as someone who either is wrong, based on this sole preference, or that you’re hoping and intending to change a persons mind, simply by inquiring, by trying to learn about them. At times, it seems that only in finding THE person who best represents your preferences as your exact can you have a lengthy conversations. Of course, in finding THAT person, you have no need to learn of the ideas of others, you’ve found someone who agrees and practices in your way specifically.