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Welcome to My world - here's hoping you enjoy your visit!
I know My profile is a lot of reading, but it will tell you a great deal about Me, and I will expect that anyone who contacts me has read, and understands, everything below.
First, a bit about who I am:
I'm a Dominant Woman, who is (like most everyone on CollarMe) here looking for playmates. Yes, I'm also open to more serious arrangements, if I find someone suitable.
If you're a submissive soul who wants to know whether you might be just that sort of "suitable" person, this next part is for you.
I'm a young woman, but that doesn't mean I'm inexperienced. I've been involved with My local scene for more than a decade now, and while I don't pretend to be an expert on all things BDSM, I do know My way around a dungeon. With regard to My partners, I appreciate the skills of an experienced submissive - but I am willing to train newer ones. After all, any submissive will require training to My requirements and preferences - and I do understand that most people don't come into this quite as young as I did.
Speaking of age, I generally prefer partners who are fairly close to My own years. I am not one of those who limits consideration to specific ages, and I have had some great experiences with people from the end of their teens to the start of their 70s. However, when a relationship comes to involve more than just play, I have discovered that great differences in age can create problems. While I have learned much from the Old Guard in the scene, and have great respect for them, I am not one of them. I simply wish for those who contact me to understand this.
So, I've said that experience is helpful, but not critical, and that age matters, but in terms of compatability rather than a specific number. I find that most things are like that when I some stronger than others) but there are few things that a person "must" or "must not" have or be to be considered. Still, it is important that you know what those "primary" requirements are:
1. Whether experienced or not, any submissive I consider needs to have a strong sense of self - of their own personality, wants, and needs. Experience with a strong Dominant can add to the confidence and strength of a person who is prepared to take that journey - but for someone who isn't suited to it, or who just isn't ready, My level of intensity can be damaging. A submissive of Mine has to be the kind of person who can maintain their own family, friends, and interests while having what can be very "intense" interactions with Me.
2. Related to #1, while a submissive should always be humble before their Dominant, My submissive will be someone who remains aware of their value as a person and as My consort. They will be able to tell Me what skills they have (BDSM-related or otherwise) and what they can give to Me in a relationship. Sexual skills are useful, but for a young woman that sort of thing is not hard to come by. So when you write to Me, try to think more broadly of what you can offer.
3. I am interested in submissives who enjoy intellectual discourse - intelligent, quick-thinking types. While formal education is a plus, it's not critical - what's most important is that when it's time for tea and conversation, My submissive has something of their own to say. I don't demand that everyone agree with Me (in fact, many of My political discussions with friends are mistaken for arguments by outsiders), but intellectual curiosity and mental flexibility are a must. Please, consider how much I value these traits before you decide to send Me one of those one-sentence emails that are so popular.
4. My submissive needs to be someone who can take care of themself. I consider the care you take of yourself, emotionally and physically, to be one of the best indicators of the care you'll take with Me. I don't demand that My submissives be a size 4 like Myself - I know I'm not average. And I know that not everyone looks like a model. But when I look at you and talk to you, it must be clear that you're taking good care of yourself:
a. You should be at a healthy weight for your frame. I know from personal experience that health issues can cause difficulty with that, but I strongly suggest that anyone with such serious health problems probably needs to focus on getting better first. I know that when I was struggling with My own health, I certainly didn't have the energy required to be starting a new relationship.
b. I should be able to tell that you take care with your appearance - especially when you're presenting yourself to Me, be that in pictures or in person. I don't expect a magazine cover, especially in a casual pic, but when I see evidence that a boy or girl takes care of their body... well, it makes Me think they'll take the same care with Mine.
c. This may be the third on the list, but it's the most important by far - you must be mentally stable and "all there". I know there are many in this community with some sort of issues in their past, or who have to deal with mental illness of some sort. I have no problem with that, but if a submissive needs professional help of some kind, they need to have taken care of that. I can deal with issues that may come up in the course of BDSM interaction, but I'm a Domme, not a therapist. Also be aware - I will be asking you about any issues of this sort you may have before engaging in any play or physical interaction. I understand if it's not something you bring up in your first email - I respect that this is something very private for people, and I don't expect this sort of disclosure right off the bat. Just realize that it's something that does matter in this context, and something I'll eventually need to know about if it affects you.
5. I know I've mentioned several times that I'm "intense". One of the things this means is that Dominance for Me is not a "role"... it's who I am. I do not have any "time in/out" or "in/out of role". If anything, a submissive of Mine should expect our interactions at home to be more (in all sorts of ways) than what might happen elsewhere - not less. This means that a suitable submissive for Me is someone who understands this and desires this.
a. The fact that I'm Dominant full-time does not mean that I have unlimited time to devote to a submissive. Like most people, I do have to work - and as I have already said, I consider it unhealthy for a BDSM pair not to have lives outside of that interaction. While I value My partners greatly and am very much devoted to them, I don't keep a stable of live-in "pets". A submissive of Mine needs to be able to maintain their own household and support their own needs.
b. I also feel I should state here that I am polyamorous, meaning that if I do choose you as a submissive, there is no guarantee that you will be the only submissive I have - and you definitely won't be the only person I "play" with. While I engage in "higher-risk" activities only with great care, strict monogamy is not My thing, and I don't tolerate jealousy or sulking in My domain. Contact Me about being My submissive only if you are OK with that.
Disclaimer for Dominants here:
I identify as Dominant. Yes, I do have a masochistic side, and I'm not shy about the fact that I will switch at times - for a select few
people I have particular trust and respect for. These individuals know
well who They are. So if I don't know you, you can be sure you're not
in this group. If You're a fellow Dominant looking for friendship and/or intellectual discourse, great, email me. But if merely having heard of me being submissive to anyone, ever, makes you think I'll submit to YOU - do us both a favor and don't bother.
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