Changed my mind, again. Not even going to bother saving anything. Just wrote to Support, asked them to actually delete the iold profiles and the profiles of the people who are obviously using my photo and such, too. And, then I changed my info on this profile and deleted my photo, because, I am leaving until this is cleared up, and, maybe past that point, and, what I do not want is another account that I can't access, but, which has never been deleted, floating around with my photo on it, that says its been logged in recently. lol  (sigh)

I've decided on a course of action. I am going to, first off, attempt to gather the salient bits of writing, from the few profiles that used to be mine, and, then, ask Support, again, to properly delete them. And, I will delete this account, at that point, and, will not return until such a time as I have reason to believe they have actually deleted them, as I am so tired of the crap I receive from what is, essentially, someone else's fault.

But, you see, the last time I asked this of them, they kept deleting the account I was currently using, not the old ones, so, that is why I shall gather up the writing from this account, first, and, then, delete this account along with the rest.

Personally, I think there is a woeful lack of imagination among the inhabitants of this site. "Oh no, no actual penetration. No touching my cock. No drinking your pee. Then there is nothing fun to do!" Really?

What about inviting someone over for dinner, putting them in a standing cage, feeding them through the bars and only allowing them out at the end of the date? It's a little kinky, a lot romantic, potentially.

What about kneeling down, and being used as a foot rest, while the person whose using you pleasures themselves, so that you can hear their moans and feel the shift of their weight as they ..?  Hmm hmm .. No, I would not call that a very Christian thing to do, but, it is hardly boring.

What about being bent over a table and smacked with a rod, by a sensual voiced lovely, full of sadistic whimsy?

There is so much more to do, with the mind and body, through pain, pleasure, exhaustion, sensory deprivation, bondage, hypnosis, than mere penetration of some holes, or, drinking of urine. Please!

I'd love to play with you, too. Especially if you were my special one, but, I cannot agree to the things I am against, and, so far, I have yet to find anyone with enough imagination to see the beauty of the alternatives.

Oh, no, wait! There is that other completely scam artist activity I engaged in, wherein I told people upfront that I wanted slaves who were actually slaves, as in workers, not just mislabeled sex toys. 

Imagine, me asking people to represent themselves as what they really are, to only claim to do and be what they are, and, to stay away from me if they are not actually interested in the lifestyle I wish to engage in! How shocking! How completely unlike BDSM should be. 

NOT!

Then, there was the way I told people that I did, in fact, have profiles on here before, and, point out which ones had yet to be cleared up by the support staff. 

Oh, and, the horrible habit I have of showing people the site where my art and writing is, and, sharing with them that I'm on Facebook and offering them the chance to come to know the more familial-related aspects of me, too, before deciding if they wish to serve. 

Sure signs of a scam artist are when they start proffering proof of being real people,  who have friends and family, especially when they are not even remotely worried about you showing up on the same sites as them. Probably means they are also scamming their family and friends by being upfront about their desire to own slaves, too. How disgusting.

NOT! 

Then, of course, there is the way I keep telling people I am too frigging poor to immediately jump into the bdsm play aspects of a relationship, unless they have equipment or they are interested in doing things which do not require it, and, that what I really need, first and foremost, is the supplements, a very specific kind of shoe, and, some hard and non-judgmental labor out of them. You know what that means? 

That means I am the filthy sort of person who will actually tell a potential slave what I need out of them, both in the short term and in the long run, then, I will test them out, put them through their paces, and, see if they will suit me. 

Imagine that, in the world of BDSM. Why, that would never fly! And, it certainly would never happen in the real world, because, no one ever works as a volunteer, apprentice or unpaid intern to learn a job that offers what they want out of life, in the real world. 

Nope! 

No one ever puts in any effort to help others or to benefit themselves further in the long run, without making demands that their potential boss or client do 15 different things they don't want to do, can't do, or, have made i clear that they will never do. Not in the real world!

NOT!

If you found the few not the many, profiles which used to be mine, what you would find is that my photo is up on all but one, which, instead, has a photo that is also on the art site, because it is a photo that I took, and, two that have original paintings by me. All of them mention former profiles, except the first one, and, the trouble I've had as a result of them not having been deleted, and, all of them speak of the fact that I am a poor writer and artist, who needs a real slave.

So, there you have it. Someone who shows who they are in the world of BDSM as well as vanilla life, who is unafraid to display her face here - the same face she displays on other non-bdsm sites- and who has a consistent back story. Proof positive she is a scam artist!

NOT!

Good morning! I'm still irked by the jerk, but, now it is more generalized. As in, it is funny how anyone who doesn't want to pay for work you do, or, who doesn't get precisely what they want out of you, thinks that means you're the scam artist. 

The fact is, he was trying to scam me, by pretending to be a submissive, into having sex with him; then, he was trying to trade money for sex; and, he got terribly, terribly offended, when I suggested a very legitimate trade, that would be mutually beneficial for us both. 

That being my using my vast knowledge of health related issues and leadership skills, and, he contributing what little was needed financially, to become workout partners and lose weight together. 

Because, i know what I need to do, but, I cannot afford it, whereas, he obviously, having the money and still being a fat little butterball (with no excuse of health issues to explain it away), obviously either doesn't know what to do or is unable to motivate himself.

Does that sound like a scam to you? Really? Well, would it sound like a scam if you went to a gym and someone said "For $25 more per week, you can workout with Trini, to help motivate yourself and have a spotter for safety. Trini doesn't have any degrees, but, she is very knowledgeable on health foods, nutrition, supplements, exercises and how to choose the best ones for your body type and needs, due to self research, so she could also be a great resource for you, if you have questions." ? No, it would not. 

It's not just him, though. So many people act like my being an artist is a scam, as if writing, beading, painting, all that sort of thing, doesn't require vast amounts of work and, in many cases, serious expense for materials. 

So, I say that I will trade a digital painting, original, which they can print out in any size, for some specific help. The help is worth far less than an original painting, too, I assure you, because, the painting, if I could afford to print it out, would be $600 easily. 

Yet, because, I don't want to pay to have it printed out, because it is digital, they think it is worthless. Oh, but, I just put 6 hours of work into it, they like it, and, it is completely original, not just some quick manipulation. "Nope, they say, you have to print it off." or "Nope, you have to paint it by hand." Well, that all requires COST, and, if I could afford to print it off, or, the paints, I'd just go sell the painting for more, bypassing them, and, benefiting myself more, and, them not at all. 

Does that make me a scam artist? Really? To ask for $50 worth of supplements, plus the $30 cost of a print out (not to be put in my hands) for a $600 digital painting? I'm the scam artist? 

Then, why are they not happy with the $520 valued profit, and, why are they still trying to gouge me for more money? Why does the amount of work put into it count as nothing? 

If I was getting paid strictly for the cost of materials and time, at the rate that a plumber gets paid, which is how artists used to be paid rather than as someone who created something more than any other laborer, I'd still be getting at least $600 on most paintings, and, sometimes more like $2,000.00, because, it can take a LOT of hours, and, paints, canvas, wear and tear on brushes, etc. are EXPENSIVE. 

Yet, I find a way to make it cost less for me to create something original for you, then, offer the work and guarantee that the painting will never be duplicated by me, for sale, and, you cal lit as scam? You call it ME scamming YOU? Screw you people! 

Well, I found out who the guy is that is lying about how many profiles i have, who made his own separate profile (meaning he has at least two active ones, right now) just to harass and lie about how many I allegedly have.

He is a guy who has been stalking me, to the point of hacking my computer, some how, learning my home address. I've been turning him down, for over a year, now, because, he tells me he wants to serve, but, in fact, he is only interested in a sexual relationship. He is not submissive in the slightest. 

Had a friend who is a domme join, who, on paper, sounds a great deal like me (fairly near the same age, height, weight) and she posted a photo that did not show her face or any distinguishing marks, as a witness to what I've been going through with this guy. 

He immediately thought she was me, started making her offers of money for sex, accusing her of being a whore, and, demanding that he be allowed to serve her. Then, I sent him messages, through her, telling him what I thought of him, and, for him to stay away from me and my home. 

Suddenly, tadah, here is a "dominant" man, from some mysterious part of Arizona, making complaints about me. Someone I had never talked to, before, on that profile, anyway. I've learned, from other sources, that this is because he is the same guy who has been harassing me this whole time.

Well, he should keep in mind that I have his photo and phone number, because he sent them to me, and, I have rather a great deal of information as regards his work. Enough to be able to find exactly where he works, and, report him, or, have him arrested; so, it would behoove him to just back off and leave me alone.

For your information: there are, strangely, 42 members on this site, who are listed as being females, who are 42 years of age and in Arizona. They are, in no particular order:

1. 5'2" and submissive, living in Mesa
2. A female dominant, 5'7" who is willing to relocate (recently)
3. A female slave in Mesa, photo included, much smaller than me.
4. submissive and living in Phoenix
5. an 105 lb submissive
6. another sub living in Mesa, 5'5"
7. A 5'9" submissive in Phoenix
8. A female submissive in Scottsdale
9. a female switch in Phoenix, photo of her with wolves. Definitely not me.
10. a 5'4" sub living in Phoenix
11. a 5'3" sub living in Kingman
12. a dominant who lives 3 miles from me
13. a woman who is curious about veganism (blech)
14. an 140 lb sub
15. a 5'6", 260 lb dominant in Tucson, who lives 3 miles away from me
16. a 5'7", 270 lb dominant in Tucson, who lives 11 miles away from me
17. a 275 lb 5'6" dominant who lives 7 miles away from me
18. a profile I made in June of 2010, which I left in June of 2010, asking for it to be closed.
19. A 5'8" sub in Peoria
20. a profile that I started and ended in May, 2011
21. a 5'5" sub in Tucson
22. a female dominant living in Phoenix
23. a female dominant in Tempe
24. A female submissive in Tucson, who, admittedly sounds the right height, but, is not claiming to be BBW
25. A female submissive living in Phoenix, with photo up, obviously not of me
26. a woman claiming to have giant breasts (which I do not have)
27. A 5'4" submissive in Scottsdale
28. A female dominant in Tempe
29. a profile that I started and stopped in June, 2011
30. A female submissive in Tucson, photo up, not me
31. A female submissive in Peoria who is 170 lbs.
32. A female dominant, 5'4", in Cottonwood
33. A female submissive in Tempe
34. a profile that I started and stopped in February, 2011
35. a profile I ended in October of 2010
36. And, this one.

Plus, 6 profiles that were repeated on the second page, for some reason

This is the sort of dominant I do not respect:

"You're a pig. You need to lose weight, you fat whore. Forget getting f... by me, until you look better. Hahhaah a Why would I waste my c .. on you?"

"Sorry. We seem to have a lot in common, but, your weight is gross. I can't deal with that."

"All you need to do is diet and exercise and obviously you don't but you just stuff your fat face like a pig. No one finds you attractive."

You know why? Because, absolutely everything said is filled with negativity,assumption, and/or weakness. How can I respect someone who has no self control, who doesn't understand that if they do not want to be a part of someone's life they have no business commenting negatively to them on it, who doesn't understand that if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem, who admits to an interest and then admits to an inability to affect change, who feels that insulting others is less of an offense than eating, and, who makes gross assumptions instead of asking for knowledge?

This is the sort of dominant I do respect:

"I see you are overweight. Is that by choice?"

"I really like your personality, but, I can't get together with someone so overweight. I would be glad to mentor you, though, and, maybe if you get in better shape, we could see about something more romantic."

"I have a home gym and $200 to put toward those special shoes you mentioned. Would that help? I'll come pick you up three days a week, and, then you cook me dinner, after your workout. Something healthy, of course."

"You seem to have a weight problem. Is that something you'd like some help with?"

"Why are you overweight and is there anything we could do to fix that? What is it?"

"You mention having Fibromyalgia, as well as allergies and that it affects your thyroid and also mention supplements. Tell me more, and, if it sounds like something I can do, I'll help you; but, only if you want to make an honest attempt and agree to do everything you can to change."

You know why? Because, all that is about someone who is asking for information, considering options, learning about the other person, expressing concern, and/or offering help. That's what truly dominant people do. They see the problem,  consider the likelihood of there being a solution, seek information on that solution, and, offer up help they can give as regards reaching a solution. Of course, they tend to want to be in control, but, since they listen, think, and care about others, it's not a bad thing.

If you are asking to be a long distance slave, whether the long distance is temporary or permanently, you will be required to prove your address and actuality, by the very simple method of:

Sending me a self addressed, stamped envelope. I will then enclose a message to you, with instructions, and, send it to you. You will follow those instructions, proving that you exist, you can follow orders, and, you are willing to serve me. Please note that this will also prove that I exist and am telling the truth about my location, for your benefit.

I am interested in owning slaves. LOCAL ONLY. No druggies, no pets, no loves, no friends, no toilets, cross dressers, ashtrays, puppies or horses need apply.

If you move in, you will be used as a total slave. I must see your face, before I can decide if we should meet, so send me a decent photo, close up of your face, no sunglasses or extreme shadows. No excuses! If you don't have one, then, go and get one before contacting me and don't tell me how it has to be sent by email because you are afraid of what your boss thinks. 

Your boss isn't going to know, much less care, if I have your photo and if they did, well, they'd care just as much if you sent it via yahoo. You aren't James Bond, your face is not classified information, and, I will not consider you without having seen it.

The slave I seek is one who will wish to live by strict rules and protocols, with strict, but simple punishment for offenses. They will not expect extreme abuse or degradation, but, they will expect to be worked hard, shared, and totally under my control. They will work for wages and they will hand their pay over to me, in cash, as they receive it, minus what they need for legitimate work related expenses, to go toward paying the bills, food, entertainment, and bdsm related equipment. Or, at the very least, they will pay half the bills, groceries, and, incidental entertainments.

Work will include grooming, basic house cleaning, home repair, maid service for others, taking classes for what they do not know but need to. Play may include anything that is not listed, by me, as a hard limit, and, nothing that is.Do not write and ask what I am into or for any guarantees of what I will do to you. 

I have an extra bed for you to sleep on, but, you may sleep on the floor if you are that sort of slave. You will eat the food I eat, mostly; and, as far as I'm concerned, you may as well eat off the same dishes. If you must, you may use a pet dish, but, I'm perfectly capable of maintaining control without such parlor tricks.

Keep in mind, if you contact me, telling me that you want to serve me, I will be taking it seriously. So, if you are not local, you must be ready and willing to become local. If you do not show a sincere interest in this position, and, if you do not follow my orders from the time you contact me, including sharing a photo of your face with me, I will block you, immediately and report you as a spammer.

Slavery, BDSM, Christianity:

BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. Bondage, contrary to popular belief, is not spoken of in the sexual context, though it is also not excluded from the description.

 It is not wrong for people to engage in sex that involves being physically bound, any more than any other kind of sex. With sex, it is always why and who with, that you are doing it, which counts, in a Christian context, in determining if it is right or wrong. 

Many people wrongly view the word bondage as being only about the sex, though, and, in fact, view the other words to also describe different aspects of sexuality, only, so view it as wrong for Christians to announce they are into, much less actively engaging in, weird sex games. However, BDSM is not about sex, necessarily, and, weird sex games are not wrong for Christians to engage in, if they fit in with Christian standards. 

IE: It is wrong for a Christian to engage in sex with someone they are not married to, and, Jesus set a standard that thinking about it, excessively (on purpose) is as much of a sin as performing the act is. 

Therefore, those things that are euphemistically referred to as oral worship, body worship, or any things which are related to the purposeful inciting of lust are wrong to do with someone you are not married to, especially if you have no intention of becoming married to the person you are with.

But, if you are married to the person, and, that person wishes to engage in oral sex, being whipped, tied up, etc., and, you want to engage in it, and, you are both doing it together, as part of being close and sharing your life together, there is nothing wrong with it, at all.

Bondage, in fact, refers to anything that involves being bound, physically, being under compulsion; slavery, servitude, or subjugation; controlling or being controlled by an outside person or force.

Dominance refers to the supremacy or preeminence over another; exercise of mastery or preponderant influence. 

Sadism refers to receiving pleasure in teaching humility, or, in dominating others. Though it is named after someone who was very morally exempt, one does not have to be exempt from morality to engage in it.
Masochism refers to receiving pleasure from pain, humility, or, domination. 

All of these things can be engaged in, in a way that is mild, teasing, all the way to completely monstrous and damaging. In other words, like as was said about sex, it depends on why you are doing it. 

There is nothing inherently evil about serving someone, being served by someone, teaching humility, or learning humility. In fact, serving, accepting help from others, asking for what you need, learning to think of others, learning not to think too highly of yourself, and, helping others to learn these things, are all things that Christians are exhorted to do. 

Obviously, they are told to do these things, within certain parameters, under certain guidelines, in a way that is not damaging to themselves or others, and, which do not conflict with the laws of either man nor God.

Now, some say that BDSM degrades and defiles the temple (our bodies), perverts the spirit in leading us to worship flesh instead of God, and, corrupts the plans God has set for how sex should be used. However, again, it depends on who you are doing it  with, and, why.  There is plenty of bad that can be encompassed within BDSM, but, there is also much good which can be encompassed within it. I choose to seek out and engage in the good, which will not offend God.

More will be said on this subject, later.

If you want to apply to be my slave, keep in mind that you are the one who is being tried out, tested, and, judged? For the first wee while, you will be ordered to clean, buy things, kneel, stand, restricted in speech, put on call, or, whatever else I feel like putting you through, and, if I see that you have something to offer me, I will consider keeping you, and, using you in these ways and more. 

I am not here to fulfill your fetishes, to serve your desires. You are here to work for me. What is in it for you? Well, if you want to serve, and, you are given an order to fulfill, it fills you with a feeling of purpose,  it makes you feel needed and special, and, that is what is in it for you. You will be bound up by rules, and, you want it that way. You will be used, needed, cherished as my property, and, that is what you need in your life. You will be trained how to please, and, allowed to share in my life. 

If you cannot see that as a good thing, if you see it as selfishness on my part, then, you are not a slave.

More about the lifestyle I would like to live, starting now, with a slave:

I happen to enjoy a very well-organized, clean home, and, a well scheduled life. Mind you, I do enjoy spontaneity, but, I like a nice, well organized, well scheduled, base from which to leap. 

A slave would be responsible for carrying out my orders, toward this end. IE: I would order the slave to create menu plans, based on certain guidelines, for my health, and, taking into consideration what was currently on sale (or, currently ripe in the garden), and, the slave would do this, and, then, follow that menu so as to promote better health, while keeping an eye toward minimizing cost and spoilage.

I would tell the slave an area for cleaning supplies and equipment needs to be set up. The slave would, then, consider the lay out of the house, the amount and size of supplies and equipment, and, come to me with an idea of where to set up such an area, and, how best to do so. Once it was approved by me, the slave would then go and purchase the necessaries, set up the area, and stock it with the supplies and equipment. 

I would tell the slave which supplements I needed to take, in what quantity, for what duration and on what schedule. The slave would keep track of them, order more when necessary, and, bring them to me at the appropriate time of day.

I would set a basic cleaning and maintenance schedule for the home, and, the slave would keep track of the details, as well as performing the chores.

However, I do not need a slave who does all the work, who looks down on owners who enjoy cooking and cleaning, as I enjoy cooking and cleaning. Nor do I need a slave who wants to eat slop, as, i do not enjoy cooking slop, and, part of the job of a slave is to be companionable. It means nothing if I cook and there is no one to feed; and, it means nothing if they say it's good, but, they are only saying it because "the Mistress is always right".

I want slaves who are honest, hard working, loyal, giving, and, who want to serve, and, who want to serve me.

There would be rather strict protocols, not because I believe they are unworthy to be considered just as human as me, but, for the same reasons there are protocols for anything, which is either because it helps to get things done, or, it helps to define a role in society.

On Sundays, the slave would drive me to meetings. I would not insult the people at the meeting, by forcing someone to be there, who is not interested. So, the slave would not be staying, unless it expressed an interest in learning, or, unless I was not feeling well and might need to leave early. It would just come back and pick me up, once the meeting was over.

There would probably be other things scheduled and other things to do that are less scheduled or not scheduled at all; but, that is the general gist, without tottering off into some fantasy.

The lifestyle I am living now: 

• Working from home, as a copy editor, in a home in need of repair. 
• Very casual. mostly stay-at-home. No money!
• Need to exercise, take supplements, have the right sort of shoes. Can't afford them.
• Need to have repairs to house. Can't afford them.
• Need to have house cleaned and organized. Can't afford to pay for it, can't do it all myself.

I get up in the mornings and read he Bible. Post a link to what I read to Facebook. Spend most of the rest of the day in a combination of applying for work, checking emails, light housework. Much resting, as I have to have it, because, I have Fibromyalgia, and, it's pretty bad. 

The lifestyle I'd like to be living:

• Working from home, as a writer and painter, still with copy editing job. 
• Very well planned diet, supplement and exercise program.
• Meditation, reading the Bible
• Cleaning, cooking. 
• Exercising.

What's the difference? Oh, it would be in a place with better repair, I'd feel better. There'd be more company, due to slave or husband, I could exercise and eat right so I would. I'd get more done, because I'd have more energy.

And, well, maybe other things could happen. A little travel, going out, helping someone else with something they need to get done.

I'm very goal-oriented, psychologically oriented. That's why I put myself as a Switch. Really, I am dominant, by nature, but, what motivates me is getting done what needs to be done, enjoying the time I spend with people, having fun, having pleasant experiences, love, friendship, happiness. So, I would welcome anyone in my life, and, any situation, wherein those goals were being met. I need my purpose to be fulfilled. If that means working for you, you working for me, our being in love and you sitting at my feet, or, me sitting at yours, I am interested. 

I think that is the difference between people who call themselves Switches and other people, because, really, we all serve someone, at times, and, we are all served at times, but, most of us can only mostly do it one way, even if it means not getting things done. whereas some of us, regardless of what we are (dominant or submissive) are more oriented toward the completion of the goal. The end justifies the means. This is not an absolute theory, though. Just a thought.

So, I could go further in explaining the lifestyle I would like to lead, but, it would confuse issues. If I say, for instance:

• Living with slaves
• Setting orders and goals for the week.
• Having you at my feet, waiting on my whim

My current living situation:

I am living on the west, or northwest, side of Tucson, in a house. It is not paid for, yet, it needs some work, and, it costs about $750 to live in, per month. It could be less, with prudence, curtains, and repair. 

It's between Glenn and Grant, off 15th Avenue, in the Miracle Manor neighborhood. The yard is over 6,000 sq ft. The house is between 900 -1,000 sq ft, 2 bedroom, 2 bath, with a dining room area/kitchen in the front. 

My eldest son has the smallest bedroom, for now. He is a young adult, and, he is aware of my being on this site, that I have attempted to find the right sort of slave.  He doesn't want to be directly involved, but, is open to sharing our home with a slave. Of course, if I met someone for a more romantic purpose, he would have nothing to say, one way or the other. 

I will have the bigger bedroom. Currently, my eldest daughter is using it, but, she is moving out at the end of the month.

There is a laundry "room", which is to say a small space, with a door, attached but accessible from the outside.

I am working part-time from home, but, am not making enough money to pay the bills, so I do need a roommate, and, would prefer it was by way of a romantic interest, who I marry, or, a non-sexual service slave.

The place is a bit of a wreck, right now, due to  moving in, people moving out, things needing repair, and, me having Fibromyalgia.