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All about me...hmmm.. Well, I joined in an attempt to meet new people. I have a high IQ, I am very artistic, very well educated, and have very good intuition. I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. I will more than likely begin a blog journal here to detail some of my life. I have good days, I have bad days. It seems like anymore, I never have really good days. I have been in therapy, I have tried many antidepressants, and yes, I currently take an antidepressant- Lexapro. The cold, dreary months are never easy for me, holiday times are especially difficult for me. I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,major clinical depression. I suffer at times from Panic Disorder, and at times from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I have several phobia's.And yes, at times when I feel all out of whack, I suffer from Agoraphobia, so at times I am a hermit. Do I sound like a train wreck? Sometimes I think I am, yet, I survive because I have always been a survivor. Fundamentally, I am a good person, just trying to survive myself. You won't see any other photgraphs here of me except the one I have as my default picture. Notice my face is not showing, that is because even though I have been told I am not bad looking, I would rather hide from the world. That is my defense mechanism. I feel safe and protected. Don't think I am a weak person, nor am I dumb. I am highly intelligent,and possibly too sane for my own good.
UPDATED PROFILE !!!!!
I will send pictures upon request- AND if I am interested in you enough to send them.
I had one picture posted- because it did not show my face- it was " pulled as being unexceptable".
It was not x rated- nor sexual in any way- yet, it is true I did not show my face- it was a picture I took of myself with my head turned away - so my face was concealed with my shining blonde locks of hair.....
Now......I have seen some pretty icky pictures on this site- both male and female- many of them nearly unclothed, and not very classy at all.....yet- their faces did show
I am left with the conclsuion that this site is pretty much ALL about sex, cheap, sleazy, meaningless sex, and NOT about honorable D/s.
So, I won't post a picture here, but, as I said, I will send one or more if I am interested enough in you. IT TAKES A LOT TO INTEREST ME.
Thank for for taking the time to read my update : )
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Why is it that everyone on this site seems to think that Domination and submission have to involve S & M and bondage?
D/s can exist quite well without those elements.
Any person who thinks their way of D/s is the ONLY way.....has much to learn.
I do not expect everyone , nor anyone, to agree with me....so don't expect me to mimic and mime the pablum I read on this site about D/s.
I am a free thinker.
To each their own....just don't try to push your pablum on me.
Agoraphobic Beauty
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I am this Tarot Card : )
You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.
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A new update on my * depression * affliction...
I am now off of antidepressants completely : )
and I feel rather well...
I am strictly documenting my food intake, and have come to the conclusion that sugar...yes! sugar makes my depression much worse....I have nearly completely eliminated sugar from my eating habits....
In this process, I have discovered....I crave carbs....at first....I was an evil feeling little girl with no sugar in my diet....yet, now, after quite some time...I rarely miss it....I get a craving now and again, and then, I firmly engage my brain and say this mantra " don't do it...don't give in "
and voila! it works : )
The upside is that I lost 8 pounds off my 129 pound frame...so I am now at 121 pounds....and I feel pretty well....I am still a hermit at times....a dilemna that occurs....without rhyme, nor reason...yet, I have come to accept my little quirks...as part of who I am
Anyway : ) just a thought....I do get some pretty funny messages about my introduction I wrote on my profile....
I get advice out the wazoo.....weird advice at that...and then of course, I get those people who read what I wrote and approach me in a very predatory nature...UGH , ugh, ugh....
And now, in the last two days, I have actually gotten TWO, count them TWO messages that are cogent, well written, and seemingly SINCERE! oh my......what a refreshing surprise : )
More later, Ciao,
Agoraphobic Beauty |
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I am always amazed by the people who message me, saying they are looking for that one right person.....and when you read their profile, it states the same....and yet, so many suffer from a serious malady.....going *poof* for a lengthy period of time after initial contact...then they reappear, with another message, as if they have never messaged before....and begin all over again.....
Facinating....for about 2 seconds....
Those people seem to be doing one of two things..." playing * at what they profess to seek, which is insincerity and dishonesty at it's best....or, and this is just as bad.....doing something I call " multiple messaging"....these are the same people that if were in a club scene, would flit from person to person, of course self proclaiming the same intent of " looking for that one person"....only to let their actions speak otherwise....
Now, some may call this " playing the field"....I call it...
Fickle.
And not someone I would ever entertain the thought of being consistently reliable in thought or action.
I have no affinity for such behaviour.
Just another clue about me
Ciao, AgoraphobicBeauty |
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Guess what I have been doing? go ahead....just guess: )
That's right. Researching how to deter animals from eating my strawberry patch : )
Liquid Fench looks like a winner...and then there is also a product where you put a ribbon around the garden, and put a deterant on the ribbon....
I have some very happy little bunny rabbit eating all the berries as soon as they appear...I am determined to make jam and freeze some berries this year: )
not what you quessed , eh?
haha
ciao, AgoraphobicBeauty |
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I have been thinking today of a conversation I had some time ago with a self professed " Dom"....
The conversation was about LOVE and the Dominant / submissive relationship...
This particular Dom stated something very odd to me....that " love does not factor into the D/s lifestyle...he went further to state he had never loved any of his subs or slaves....
How utterly sad for him.
I will never enter into a commitment unless I love the person. ever.
I would rather remain alone than commit to someone who views D/s as a loveless union.
To me , such a union can not and will not last without love....and I mean deep love.
So , there you have another clue about me.
Ciao, Agoraphobicbeauty |
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I have been reading a few profiles....not looking for anything in particular...I just like to read and see how others perceive D/s....and I find something I am most curious about.....so many people have " willing to relocate" on their profile...Male and female alike...
I find this curious....are so many people here so highly skilled that they have the luxury of just packing up and moving anywhere their heart desires? I would think not...
I have a highly skilled job,and I can move if I so desire....but, truly....I would never pack up and move on a whim....I would have to know the person awhile, be so utterly compatible that there is absolutely no question the commitment won't last.....
It reminds me of a song " This is my Home" by the new frontiers....
And now this topic post has reminded me of something else I want to write about here....
Ciao, AgoraphobicBeauty |
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I swear and do declare....
I shall be knocked over with a feather if I receive just one....just o.n.e. message with an original thought
**sigh** |
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I feel playful....so I will give a few more clues...
yes...I have a page there...you know....out there....in....space!
if you can't get that clue....there is absolutely no hope for you I am afraid...
Some other clues...
I love music..it means a lot to me....music can draw out emotion in me like nothing else can....
What am I listening to lately?
Well...
The New Frontiers...
Brightwood...
Selena Cross...
Gloria Mulhall...
Rob Thomas....
StoneSour.....
Rascal Flatts...
my favorite song? Silence ....by Selena Cross....you can listen to it on the space...
See? there is another clue ....
My utmost pet peeve....
Rude people....you know....those rude people who have no concept that other people exist in the world....they never say " excuse me" when they walk in front of you....or never look behind themselves to see if someone else is behind them as the door is swinging shut...so they don't hold it open.....You know ....those rude people who need hit in the head with a cluebat....so that they will realize that life is precious...and should be cherished....and yes, that means....being aware of other people in society...
that was my rant : )
oh! before I forget...PLEASE>>>> do NOT message me if you are a couple looking for a third. I am so NOT interested in that set up it is not even funny. So stop contacting me. I won't change my mind.....
Other random thoughts:
Paris needs to go to jail - it will be a good wake up call for her, and perhaps get her on the right track
I am so sick and tired of PC bleeding heart liberals....I could just scream. But, I won't ....because, well....I rarely scream.
I support our honorable U.S. troops....notice...I typed " honorable" in there....because yes, just like any community, the military has a few bad apples....
I don't perceive D/s as "playing". Does one " play " at life? no. One lives life.
I can talk the hind leg off a dog at times...that means...I can talk myself into exhaustion....I like debate about politics, war, religion, societal woes.....all kinds of topics...
I like fried . green. tomatoes. T'is the season : )
My hair is below my waist now....it's blonde, thick...and very naturally curly/wavy
I read several news papers a day.
I like Korean food....2 dishes especially, both of which I will become expert at making...
alright...I'm tired....that's enough
Ciao
Agoraphobic Beauty
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Well...I stopped in to check messages....
I'm a pretty upfront person...and I have to say...I am just not impressed....most all of what I receive in messages is from people who obviously have NOT read my profile...or perhaps read it and thought " what the heck...I'll give it a try anyway " UGH.
Attention to detail is important to me, as it should be to the one who is interested in me.
There are clues in the details I reveal throughout my profile....perhaps even in my journal here....like....this journal is " o.k." but space is better : ) Hows that for a brick over the head.......and I bet 99.8 percent of the people don't even get THAT clue
It just makes me want to laugh.....
and give up here.....this venue anyway...
ciao until next time...
AgoraphobicBeauty |
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Hmmm...
I have just updated my profile- so it is once again " pending approval ".
The one picture I had posted of me was
" removed due to being unacceptable" .
Imagine that...a GP picture removed- true- I concealed my face with my long hair- oh well...it seems if I put a sleazy picture up- as long as my face shows- it will be "acceptable". Pfft.
So, I will not post a public picture or pictures of me here- instead, I will send one or more if I am indeed interested enough to even write back. It takes a lot to pique my interest -
A LOT.
I can honestly say....I am disallusioned with this site.
I am wary....and I am weary.
~ AgoraphobicSub |
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PRICELESS ?
not.........
I just have to share this lovely little message exchange i just finished. These are all messages from the same person, and my replies back......
the person who messaged me is a " male switch" . I will quote him in red.....my response in black........
Why does the song " Another One Bites the Dust" keep playing in my head?? ha!! .......
The sender shall forever more remain anonymous.....but my " pet" name for him is "blocked! " .......
Message One Received:
"masc switch guy here, I adored your text your are captivating enticing and honest."
My Response :
"You " adored" my profile..? you must be a masochist!
haha
seriously....there is absolutely nothing to "adore" about me as of late....i am in a very dark place emotionally.
but....thanks for the kind words
~ Agoraphobic Beauty Sub "
Message Two Received:
"The intensity level of your honesty is actually refreshing. I knwo what you need Im a switch,
give me a chance Where are you in ATL? Peachtree in Buckhead here, send me a pic,
roll the dice chicken shit! I command it, have you had your spanking today?
hehe Play with me send your pic. I might teahc yousoemthing dark and wonderful that makes
your body explode into a hurrican force orgasms...yummy "
My Response Back:
"see....there you go, getting all overly familiar with me too soon.
Good bye. "
Message Three Received:
"Its called basic communicating dear its an artform developed from years of socially adjusted interaction.
Im actually a great conversationalist. But if you cant hang with a well travelled,
well educated guy...I quess its my loss. Have a wonderful holiday season... "
My Response Back:
"That is not called basic communication- so don't patronize me.
Your sarcastic , arrogant undertone is evident.
Have a lovely night.
~ Agoraphobic Beauty "
My thoughts on this exchange?
Not flattered. Not one bit..
You know....I don't smoke....and I rarely drink.....but I may start.
~ Agoraphobic Beauty
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ah.k. I don't mind if you message me or PM me.....just don't get graphic with me!
I mean seriously, I don't know you from jack sprat, so don't cross my personal boundaries.
And! don't try and say because I am a switch I should put up with that- I don't.
I treat people the way I desire to be treated.
I learned that in kindergarten.
I don't smoke.
I rarely drink. |
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Well, here i am ....
Not sure what to think yet...
Yippee. |
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| Age: 40 |
| Searcy,
Arkansas |
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