Ladies - I wonder if one of you is able to help me?

I am seeking a suitable home for my nephew, Rollo. He is a young looking 49-year-old boy (he tells me he feels 15 in the presence of certain women!) who has grown-up under the direction and discipline of strong women at home and during his schooling. He is fit, tall, of slim build, dark-haired and devilishly good-looking although he certainly isn't a great physical specimen!

My time in this world is nearing an end and, whilst I will miss his good humour, tireless housework and unquestioning obedience, I promised his dear Mother that I would ensure he was under the guidance and control of a worthy lady before I departed this earth. Believe me when I say that he has received the very best education, instruction in moral behaviour and courtesy to womankind and detailed pointers on all aspects of maintaining an imaculate home for a lady. Most recently, I have employed a wonderfully able young Dutch woman, Miss Schaamlippen, a talented speaker of six foreign languages and Olympic equestrienne to boot, to coach his English tongue. After six months practice, expert use of a dressage whip and a final three-hour oral exam, she confirmed she is now satisfied that he is a 'cunning linguist' by any female standards!

His household duties include shopping, cooking, serving at table, washing-up, dusting, cleaning (including floors, bathroom, toilet etc), hand-washing, drying, ironing, general tidying and driving. His personal duties include serving breakfast in bed, running a bath for his Mistress, washing her, drying her, dressing her and brushing her hair. Miss Schaamlippen can answer questions concerning other, more intimate services under separate cover.

The boy responds best when pushed to the limits of his abilities and endurance and is improved by the use of corporal punishment. My old arm tires after just fifty strokes these days but he is in tears even then. He has told me that he is more upset by having let a woman down than he is from the pain of the thrashing...

So ladies, I ask you: is there a lady, probably (but not necessarily) over 30 and under 60 who would enjoy spending her life in unashamed bliss with the most attentive, considerate and charming man waiting upon her hand and foot, her every whim catered for? It is likely that the ideal lady would be educated, extremely self-assured, highly demanding and, of course dominant in her attitude to the 'weaker male sex'. I suppose it would also be ideal if she were based somewhere in the south of the country but I will send him anywhere if I think she will use and enjoy him as I know a good woman could. Indeed, I am happy to furnish interested ladies with photographs and to send him for interview at any time to suit you and he will, naturally, escort you to dinner should you so wish. I am also happy to instruct him to attend you for a trial period of a day, week or month as required. I must make it clear that I do want the boy to be the one and only boy in attendance as he truly a devoted soul.

May I take this opportunity to thank you for your kind attention,

Yours in earnest,

Rollo's Aunt Harriet.