Subject: Courting vs. Claiming

I am consistently bemused by the difference between Women and men and how they "don't" connect. A very intelligent and astute lifestyle male friend of mine put it very well. He said "In the lifestyle, Dominant Women want to be courted and submissive men want to be claimed". Of course, this is a generality. So, theorectically you may have a good "match" between a Dominant Woman and a submissive male and because of some ill conceived idea of how it's "supposed" to happen, the stepping off point get's missed because the Woman didn't walk up the this subbie guy on a first meeting and afix a collar and leash to him and say in some cavewoman voice" you mine" and pound her chest, much to his fantasy dismay. Conversely, the Woman stands by waiting for the man to make the first call. When neither happen then the potential match disentegrates. Of course, this does not account for those once in blue moon experiences when two people meet and fireworks launch on eye contact (yes, that happened to Me once...it was breath taking).

So, what's to be done? Here's My working action plan. I am very clear about what I want, I state it clearly in My profile. When speaking with a potential match via phone or email prior to meeting I state again what I'm looking for. I also add that I do not move through life with thigh high leather boots, as a matter of fact I do not own a pair and leather nor latex make a Domme! I also state clearly that I do not engage in a play activities outside of a relationship and that I'm not seeking casual sex. Well, that eliminates about 95% of the approaching males right there. Better I know in advance and safe myself the time and effort. I also state clearly that I seek a gentleman and all that that implies. Then, I will send a post meeting "Thank You" if I don't get one first. I am proactive.

All of this to say; "Communication and a reality check are key"!

Gentleman......Effort to do some Courting

Ladies.....Don't wait to share your intent

Maybe we'll get to see some matches for a change instead of so many discontent singles.

Good Luck!

Subject: Accurate Representation

What is to be gained by lying about who you are and what you look like, if you intend to meet real time?

If you are seeking an opportunity to embark on a relationionship can it be based on a lie? No! This goes for everyone. If you are misrepresenting your age, height, weight, background, ect how do you expect you will be received when you show up in person? If I meet someone and they do not look like their photo or they have lied about what they do or who they are, how can you possibly expect to be respected? You lied and have been dishonorable.

Granted that we do not always see ourselves as other see us. Myself included. At the very least be truthful about your basic statistics and when you provide a photo, ensure that it is as accurate representation.

WHEN YOU PROVIDE A PHOTO ENSURE THAT IT IS CURRENT; 6 MONTHS OLD OR LESS. BE HONEST ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.

Subject: Real Relationships

Boys; Some of us here are looking for REAL relationships! For many of the Ladies here, we seek relationships that from the outside look like any vanilla relationship/couple that you may pass in the grocery store. The same basic rules of any successful relationship apply..chemistry, physical and intellectual attraction, similar values, goals and ideals. Yes, we've got what most would call kink and that's why we're here so that we may have a chance at finding a partner who not only do we share vanilla life with but also our D/s and/or BDSM life with as well. This does not mean that I/We are targets for your crude comments, or drive by offers to lick or suck various parts of My/our body, eat your own (%&%$#%^ for My/our pleasure and/or offer to be a use-less, opinion-less, spine-less, pile of human discard living under My/Our bed that you guys seem to think that We want. That's your fantasy, not mine!

STOP IT AND BE A MAN, BE A GENTLEMAN, AND SPEAK TO ME LIKE THE LADY I AM!

Subject: False Advertising

 Boys, make it your business to know the difference between being a bottom and being submissive! There is an ocean of difference and if you advertise yourself as submissive and have no innate desire to put your own pleasure aside to be of service to a Dominant Woman simply to make Her more comfortable and her life easier than you are misrepresenting yourself! Sexual bottoms and lifestyle submissives are two different things.

 KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND STOP MISREPRESENTING YOURSELF!