Why is it when a sub or a Dom/me receives a crude, one-line message, they lament on the lack of courtesy and such?

And then when someone contacts these same Dom/mes or subs, and uses polite and courteous language, they are told they are not "hard core" enough?

If you are rude, people will not communicate, and if you are polite, they will not communicate.

If someone can explain this to me, I would be eternally grateful.