Collarspace

Keep in mind before writing to me:

I am very lazily-casually seeking a no strings houseboy or maid. This means I'd consider someone if we happened to meet, but am not going to go out of my way to meet someone. For the most part, I am just not looking. And to make things even harder for you, friendship always comes first for me, so if you can't be bothered to maintain a friendship with me you never have a chance of serving me. If I find someone with whom I click, that's good; I am also fine if I do not. I am not seeking anyone to serve me in any other way at this time. And BTW, the photo of me by the water is the current one. It was taken in late 2015. Do not waste my time asking
I'm not here to make anyone but myself happy. Being petulant or nasty when I tell you NO, I will not play with you, reflects poorly on you. It doesn't hurt my feelings or make me unhappy. It does make me share your ID with real time friends, so they don't have to deal with your immaturity and tantrums.
I am an actual experienced real time 24/7 TPE, Lifestyle Dominant Woman, not a bored housewife spicing up her life or a Professional Dominatrix. Because of that, you're not going to manipulate me into "correcting" you for bad behaviour or poor manners. I'll click block and be rid of you.
I do not do "online domination." I live this lifestyle 24/7 and would get nothing from "dominating" air when I have the real thing at my fingertips.
I'm not a wish fulfilment center. I do not care what you enjoy. I'm not a public utility and I am not life support for a whip-strapon-shoe-flogger. I am a fully actualized human being with interests both inside and outside this lifestyle. If all you can discuss is BDSM and sex, we're not compatible.
Just because I am kinky doesn't mean I welcome photos of stranger's sex organs.

When I am seeking a sub, which is rare and I am not seeking now, I seek service (generally a no strings Domestic, a handyman or toy maker) not tributes or money. I understand and live daily, the power and dynamics inherent to D/s. (BTW, you are much more likely to move from a friendship position to a sub position. If you're invested enough in me as a person to be my friend, it bodes well for your loyalty as a submissive. I am more likely to want to rule you if I like you as a human being and feel you have a submissive/pleaser part to you.)

I am married and monogamous. The only person I have sex of any form with is my submissive husband. There is never any chance of intimate contact between me and any other person.

24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange) means I am the head of my household. Think traditional 1950's home, only I'm the tyrannical husband who gets waited on hand and foot. My husband (Beachstoyboy on here) is my "wife" (non-cross dressing) and does all of the household chores, including shopping, window washing, cooking. car washing and laundry. He also takes care of all of my personal grooming needs such as giving me baths, painting my nails, shaving my legs, massages, dressing me, putting on my shoes and such. While home, he wears a leather play-style collar and always wears his permanent collar. (A neck chain with a custom clasp made to need a special tool for removal.) We've had a few no strings Domestics along the way, but none that were ever collared.

I'm intelligent, creative, married and monogamous and a touch sadistic. I first started showing dominant sexual behavior 34 years ago, when I talked a boyfriend into cross dressing (although I prefer masculine subs) but only identified myself with being "Domme" in 2000. In 2005 I married my collared sub (Beachstoyboy or subgreg on here) and we are sexually monogamous. We are minorly active in our local Scene, attending both munches and dungeons. Anyone looking to find the Southern California Scene should google "SoCalSMEvents" and join the yahoo group with the listing of all local events.

A strong believer in SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) play, I do respect RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) if the people are truly aware of the risks involved. Physically, I'm 5'6", a BBW(Big Beautiful Powerful Woman,) light brown long straight hair, hazel eyes and was born in late March- typical Aries. I revel in the physical manipulations I'm able to force upon my husband due to being a BBW! I have a maternal streak, as well as being sadistic, and love whispering sweet nothings in my husband's ear while I hurt him, or cuddling and soothing him after a long session. The maternal streak also means I feel very protective of my subs, and protective of subs in general.

My favorite forms of play:
-CBT
-Pain/Sadism/masochism - I'm a bit of a sadist and loooove the screams a sub makes when taking consensual pain for me.
-clothespins -I seem to have a slight fetish on that front..
-having my feet rubbed -NOT SUCKED.
-flogging/whipping/caning
-spanking/paddling
-anal/strap-on play
-tease and deny
-being pampered by my sub - including foot care, washing my hair, waiting on me, opening and holding doors, cooking, cleaning, laundry and such.
-photographing my sub at "play"

MY hard limits:
-children
-drugs/alcohol by either party in session - I want all of my and my sub's senses functioning normally. I don't want something masking a problem.
-gags - I have allergies, and am made uncomfortable by the thought of restricted breathing

-bathroom functions - just flat out ewww.
-blood - small amounts like from a play piercing is ok, but in any larger quantity, it belongs INSIDE the body.
-anything that might cause a medical emergency- such as asphyxiaphilia or edge play. I have no desire to try explaining how something ended up where to a doctor or paramedic.
-illegal acts.

My secondary interests are foot worship (NO DROOLING ON MY FEET! Grounds for dismissal), hair worship (stroke my hair correctly, I'm a happy Woman), errands run, chores done, chastity, cross dressing, forced bi, sensation play, sensory deprivation and more. I also have a visual media fetish and enjoy photographing BDSM play and California landscapes Vanilla likes: reading, collecting signed first edition books, computers, ocean stuff, movies, chatting, theater, museums, good conversations, dining out, crochet, friends, aquariums, cats.

Favorite Authors:
Kelly Armstrong, Nevada Barr, Patricia Briggs, Jenna Black, Jan Burke, Jim Butcher, Karen Chance, Tim Cockey, Robert Crais, P. N. Elrod, Janet Evonovich, Diana Gabaldon, Roberta Gellis, Laurell K. Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, Kim Harrison, Sue Henry, Carl Hiaasen, Nina Kiriki Hoffman, Iris Johansen, Barbara Kingsolver, Charles Knief, Dean Koontz, Virginia Lanier, Martha C. Lawrence, T. Jefferson Parker, Anne Rampling, Chris Rogers, Bertrice Small, Mark Sumner, Carrie Vaughn, Rachel Vincent, Vernor Vinge, F. Paul Wilson

BDSM Books I own: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, The Loving Dominant, The New Topping Book, The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners, The Art of Sensual Female Dominance, The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance, The Family Jewels: A Guide to Male Genital Play and Torment, S&M: Studies in Dominance and Submission, Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual, Training With Miss Abernathy- workbook, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction, The Manipulated Mind: Brainwashing, Conditioning and Indoctrination, Knots & Splices, Introducing Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People and Words That Change Minds: Mastering the Language of Influence, Masochism: A Jungian View and Dominant Women Submissive Men: An Exploration in Erotic Dominance and Submission. Fiction- "Exit to Eden" by Anne Rice writing as Anne Rampling, "Panic Snap" and "Topping from Below," both by Laura Reese, "Story of O" by Pauline Reage, "Venus in Furs" by Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch, "Justine, or the Misfortunes of Virtue" by Marquis de Sade, "Carrie's Story" by Molly Weatherfield, "Murder at Roissy" by John Warren, "Man: The Slave" by L A Morgan.

Favorite movies: Some Like It Hot, Harold & Maude, Avatar, Harvey, Dirty Dancing, Hunt for Red October, True Lies, North by Northwest, Matrix, Tomb Raider, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar