For all you fellows out there griping about not getting replies, "even if it's just to say no thanks", understand that we (women) often get tons of messages on these sites, many or most from guys who are sending out copypasta to every woman on the site, without bothering to read a profile first. 

Yes, it only takes a minute or so to reply to ONE message, but multiply that by dozens of messages per day, per site.

And then there is the fact that the majority of our, "No thank you", messages result in then being insulted, harassed, going from being beautiful and desireable to being a fat, old, ugly bitch, whore, cunt, and worse, and often threatened with being beaten, raped, killed, doxxed, etc... All for the crime of a polite rejection to some random dude in our inbox.

So, instead of assuming that you are ENTITLED to a woman's time and attention simply because you messaged her, how about you read profiles before messaging, only send a message if it does not violate any boundaries listed in said profile, and is not asking for or offering things she does not specifically say she is looking for in said profile, and makes an effort to treat her as a human being, rather than a sex or fetish dispenser.

And then, if you don't get a reply, take that as she is either busy and will get back to you when she has time, or she is not interested, without getting all pissy because she did not reply to your unsolicited message.

Also, unless you reply to EVERY unsolicited email, phone call, junk mail, etc. that you receive, with at least a polite, "no thank you", then you are a hypocrite for expecting such of others who did not ask you to contact them.

I am 51 now. Don't want to have to wait who knows how long for my profile to be re-approved by changing it there. 

 ROFLMAO!

Some moronic dumbinant just messaged me with pre-emptive butthurt and then immediately blocked me.

It was against the site's TOS to paste others' messages into a profile or journal entry last time I edited my journal. It looks like that has been taken out again, but just in case, I'll summarise his idiot message instead, and share my reply that I typed, only to find myself blocked.

He took the time out of his assuredly busy day to tell me that if I had read the site TOS, I would know why my links were rejected (a reference to my profile).

My intended reply:

"If you read the actual statement I made, you would know that the links themselves were not rejected, but that there is a limit to the number of links allowed in a profile.

Any particular reason you are messaging a complete stranger just to attempt to throw shade?

BTW, you used the wrong your. You're welcome."
 

I think he didn't like how my profile has limits and boundaries and stuff, which automatically preclude him from ever having a whisper of a chance.

His profile consists of a couple lines demanding potential property be local or pay to relocate themselves, the typical, lazy, "feel free to ask any questions", in leiu of any actual bio, and has no interests selected, and his two journal posts consist of bitching and whining about submissives have standards. 

One is about those who want to know what the prospective dominant brings to the table, advising all said subs that we don't belong in the lifestyle, and we should get out, and that any doms who tolerate such are "simps"

The other laments subs whose profiles stipulate any limitations, such as excluding those with certain political or world views (the ones he specifically mentioned are usually to weed out bigoted assholes. Go figure). Charming fellow. I'm so sad that I missed out his domliness due to my totally unsubmissive insistence on not submitting to any old random loser on the internet.

FFS people! READ profiles before contacting someone!

Yes, my profile lists me as a switch, but that does not mean I want to do anything and everything with everyone.

I am looking for a male dominant, and a female slave.

I am NOT looking for a male sub for anything other than maybe domestic, manual labour. I am NOT interested in a sissy, CD/TV (unless they fit the aforementioned manual labour bill), FLR, or any form of meaningful "relationship" with a submissive male.

As noted in my profile here, my blog profile

lists EVERYTHING I am seeking in great detail. READ IT

!

"Switch"? ~ What it Means Pertaining to Me

 I am not "a Domme" or "a sub", and definitely not a slave.
I am a free woman with a generally dominant personality, who lives by Gorean principles and philosophies in real life, and also engages in BDSM activities.

I tend to be "toppy" toward those on the more submissive end of the continuum, though I do usually at least defer to free men, and will conditionally submit to those I deem worthy of such.

Apparently, the "switch" moniker is very confusing to some people, so I will go into detail here about what it does - and doesn't - mean, in my case.
We'll start with the "doesn'ts", since those seem to be the most oft misunderstood.

"Switch" does NOT mean: 

•  I go back and forth from free to slave.

It's a BDSM activity preference - not an indication of status. I am free. Period. Submitting to certain men or enjoying bottoming for some activities does not make me "a sub". It just means I enjoy a variety of activities, and that I am a woman who embraces natural order, so tend to show submissive traits in the presence of strong, dominant, free men, despite my mostly dominant personality.

• I will do/be/play whatever role you are seeking

I'm not a fetish dispenser! Do not treat me like one.

• my role within any specific D/s dynamic is flexible

It isn't. The boss is the boss, and stays the boss. The FC/sub/beta/slave/whatever s-type obeys.

• I "switch" between being/identifying as dominant or  submissive depending on my mood, the day, the phase of the moon, or any other whims. 

I do not.  I am simply who and what I am. I relate to others depending on their place on the spectrum of dominance and submission as compared to mine, and, as appropriate, their status or rank as compared to mine.

"Switch DOES mean (for me)

•  I enjoy both "topping" and "bottoming" in BDSM activities/scenes, regardless of D/s involvement (or lack thereof) at various times and with different people.

•  I respond in different ways to different people or types of people - Some people trip the dominant trigger, some trip the submission trigger, and some people do neither. That's just the way I'm wired. Telling me what I "should" do, or trying to demand, cajole, whine, bitch, or otherwise manipulate me into relating to you in your desired manner will backfire. Badly!

 For a more in-depth look at the topic...

The word, "switch", for me, is only a label for convenience. It doesn't encapsulate who or what I AM.
I am a strong woman with a dominant personality and submissive tendencies.
I believe in the natural order of things (more on that in a future post), and that D/s is not a clear cut, either/or sort of thing. Rather, dominance and submission are character traits on a continuum, which vary from person to person, with every person falling somewhere on the scale, creating somewhat of a hierarchy. 
That means that a single person may be submissive or subordinate to some, whilst outranking or being dominant to others, at the same time. 

 It was recently compared by someone in a discussion to that of a wolf pack. I tend to agree with that allegory. 

A pack will have an alpha male and, generally, an alpha female. The alpha female is the boss bitch, and she is dominant over the rest of the pack, but, she is still submissive to the alpha male, with whom the buck stops. She is still very much free to do as she wishes, and no one had best mess with her unless they are ready and willing to attempt to fight her, and potentially her mate, but she yields to him, because it is how they are biologically wired. The same is true, I believe, with humans.

Another comparison is that to serving in the Armed Forces.

A Drill Instructor is God to the recruits in their platoon, but if an Officer is on deck, that same Sgt. (or whatever) damn well better snap to attention and salute along with those recruits, and the C.O. (Commanding Officer) merits same from all of the aforementioned, going on up the chain of command right up to the Commandant, and then the Commander in Chief himself. 

In neither of those comparisons, does an individual bounce between two or more separate "roles". They occupy their given role, and interact with others and the rest of the world accordingly, depending on those others' respective roles. They don't have to transition from one "mindset" to another, because they know their place in the larger scheme of things, and everything just flows naturally from there.

 It is simply a fact that there are more than two "ranks" in life, and in nature.

I will not separate out my dominant and submissive traits into separate "personas". They are not. I am me. I am a whole, integrated, complete person, with many different facets. I choose to embrace that.
Neither will I "dumb down", pretend to be less than, submit, or pretend to submit to anyone, simply by virtue of their gender, status, or because they claim a certain title or position. I will start out being respectful to others, and will defer, to a degree, and maintain a submissive attitude with free men as long as they don't give me reason to do otherwise. From there, they will either earn my respect, and the added deference that may accompany it, or they will earn... something less, and I will do my best to at least remain civil, so long as they can avoid pushing me too far.
Do not mistake a respectful demeanor, good manners, polite deference, or knowing my place in the natural order of things for outright submission. There is a distinct difference, and making assumptions is an unwise idea.

Loser Liger UPDATE!!

Dude messaged me out of the blue. I am very suspicious that it was the same guy from a couple posts down with a new profile.

I had to delete the contents of the message, cause that is now specifically prohibited in journals, but that message exchange, and lots more amusing exchanges from here and elsewhere, can be found on the Return to Sender ~ GL Edition thread

. 

YAY! The profile editing works!!

I just kept pasting pieces a little at a time to determine what it was to which the site was ing, and eventually, got it figured out. There is also a character limit on profiles now, but it seems, not on journal entries.

If you try to edit your profile and get a page saying you are blocked, it probably means you have too many links or some kind(s) of "forbidden" words in your profile. It let me have two links in my profile, which is fine, because all the links I had are also on where I linked to. If you wanted to have more links on here, you could probably put them in your journal, though you may need to use multiple entries, but really, how many links do you need on here if you are not trying to spam opr scam people??

Bloody hell!

What is it with so many blank profiles?

Here's a tip, people...

The purpose of creating a profile on a place like this is to give potential (whatever you are looking for) a good idea of who you are, what you are like, what makes you tick, and what you are looking for in more specific terms than "looking 2 serve a fem dominate", or "male slave up 4 anytyhing u like".

I understand that many people have valid reasons for not including a photo, but there is no good reason for not filling out your profile. It's just lazy!

Try actually including some useful information about yourself beyond physical description or genital size; Things like your interests (not just kinky ones), things you like to do for entertainment, what experience you have in terms of service (or whatever your allege to be looking to provide), what characteristics you are looking for in a partner/dom/owner/slave/sub/whatever, and the like.

Try to paint a picture of who you are.

I, for one, am not interested in playing with or forming a relationship with a list of measurements and kinks. I'm looking for a fully developed person!

I'm certain I am  not alone in this.

I'm not saying everyone ought to go crazy with the profile info like some (ahem - cough coughguiltycough), but at least make a decent effort!

Playtime, Fun & Service - More of what to expect in my collar.

This a list of many of the things I enjoy and will commonly expect from you/will do to you.

As you have, no doubt, figured out, if you have read my, "Seeking a slave

", post and the "Slave Rules

" post, I am, in many ways, very strict, and expect full obedience and service from my slaves.
That does not mean we won't have fun!

As with the rules list, this is in no particular order, for the most part. I am adding things as I think of them.

Let's just get this out of the way right now...
I am a sadist with a very twisted sense of humour! (I have references) That said, I will ALWAYS take great care to avoid doing any actual harm to my slaves or subs.

I will take great delight in confusing, confounding, teasing, titillating, frightening, infuriating, frustrating, and otherwise fucking with you for my amusement.

I love to make a grown man or woman cry.
It will please and amuse me to make you hate me even while you betray yourself by begging for more, thanking me when it is over, and being eager for the next time.

That said, I WILL NOT leave any doubt as to whether I am genuinely displeased with you. Ever. Period! If you are being truly punished, I will tell you. You will also always know why you are being punished. I may not tell you immediately, and will often make you work to figure it out, because I feel that is more likely to make a lesson stick, but I will make damn sure that it is clear by the end of the day, at the latest. As a former slave, I have been in the position of knowing I was displeasing, and knowing I was being punished, but not understanding what I did/was doing wrong. It is a horrible feeling and serves no purpose, and I will not subject any slave of mine to that!

Now that we have that out of the way, on to more fun (and some mundane) stuff!

Being my slave will not all be fun and games, nor will it always be high protocol. Sometimes I may just want to converse with you. Though we will not converse as equals, I don't want to be stiff and formal all the time either. I like a slave who has his or her own opinions, can hold up their end of a debate, and show me their fiery spirit, all whilst maintaining their proper place as a slave. Show me you can do that, and I will be pleased!

On any given day that you are with me, you may be expected to clean house, move furniture, work on fixit projects, cook and/or serve me meals, perform for my amusement, massage me, or any number of other things.

When dining, I might seat you beside or across from me and expect you to behave as a conventional dining companion, or I may just keep you at my feet and make you beg or do tricks for scraps, which I will feed you by hand, or toss to you. Maybe you will even eat from a pan on the floor, forbidden to use your hands. As with all things, it will be according to my whim.

I am a rather avid cigar smoker. When I am enjoying a cigar, you will attend me as I desire. That may mean bringing what I require, and then making yourself scarce, unless summoned, or it may mean serving as my ashtray, footstool, and toy, massaging or otherwise servicing my feet, sexually pleasuring me; Or anything in between. You will, at times, be expected to accompany me to cigar meetups, where you will conduct yourself with proper decorum in a manner which will make me proud, and incite envy among my peers, but will not non-consensually involve others in our D/s dynamic.

In fact, that will be true of many situations when you are accompanying me out and about, in non kink situations.

I enjoy things like playing fetch with a slave, or putting slaves in competitive games with one another for the amusement of those watching.
A few things that come to mind:

• Wrestling.. Oil and/or nudity possible.
• Races, with or without paddles, whips, etc as "encouragement"... sack races, 3 legged races, kinky relay races.. All those "kid games", but all grown up!
• Contests of will.. such as seeing which slave can delay orgasm the longest, while other slaves or free do their best to make you lose control.
• Slave rodeo games.

I'm sure I can think of LOTS more!

I have 20+ years of experience in various BDSM activities, and enjoy a WIDE range of things, both from the top and bottom perspective. That means that I am just as likely to be on a rack being worked over by someone at an event as I am to be working YOU over. In fact, There may well be times that I put a nice, thuddy flogger, or other delicious implements in your hands and direct you to have a go at me until I tire of it. (or until you are genuinely unable to continue without risk to my property). Make no mistake, however... This in NO way alters our dynamic. I am in charge. Again.. my slave exists to please me, regardless of what it is that may be pleasing to me at any given moment in time.

I do take pleasure in doing things that I know will make my slave happy, so I will definitely make a point of incorporating play that I know you will enjoy. Sometimes I like to surprise a slave with something completely unexpected.
Well.. Okay.. I USUALLY like to do that, but once in a while, the surprise will be specifically calculated to delight the slave.

This posting is a work in progress, and will be added to from time to time as I think of things to add to it.

Questions and comments, especially ones that might help me make this post more comprehensive are more than welcome!

"Slave Rules" - A somewhat meandering list of what to expect in my collar.

I included a good deal of information in my, "seeking a slave

", post, but, it occurs to me that there is SOOO much more information to impart than what that post contains.
So, for those who wish more information, here it is!

Now, of course, there is no way to include each and every nuance of what life in my collar will be like, but I CAN supply a pretty comprehensive list of the basics and beyond.
Some things will be negotiable; Some will not. Many are sure to require effort on my part and that of the slave to implement, as habits take time to form, just as much as to break. This list is not in any particular order, and there will be overlap from the other postings.
This post contains rules, mainly. This post

contains more information about things to expect.

• First and foremost: Take proper care of my property!

• I will be informed, fully and promptly of any and all health/safety issues (illness, injury, concerns, etc.).

• You will follow ALL of your doctor's and other medical professional's orders and recommendations as regards your health and safety. We will make certain that your providers are kink aware and friendly, so this can be done properly.

• You will maintain a healthy diet, which will include at least two well balanced meals per day.

Note that this does not mean that you will be put on "a diet" or have the amount of food you eat restricted (except in the case of food addiction or other necessary health reasons, as meted out by your health care providers), but you will not be allowed to eat a steady diet of junk food, processed foods and fast food. Those things will be allowed only in moderation.

• Your primary purpose is to please me.

• You will strive to be pleasing and obedient to all free persons, within my rules and limits.

Even if you are unable to be pleasing and obedient, due to circumstances beyond your control (I do realise that some people are simply impossible to please, and/or refuse to respect the wishes of a slave's owner.), you will remain deferential and respectful, and will always promptly apologise when you have been found displeasing, REGARDLESS of whether it is reasonable. I will help you learn to balance personal safety and maintaining your place.

• Once the collar goes on, you will have no "rights". None! This is very important to understand! All privileges will be dispensed or removed at my whim.

Yes, you are human and have needs, and I consider it my duty to see to it that those needs are met, but I do not owe a slave anything, and my slave will remember that.. at the end of a lash, if necessary.

• You will be at my beck and call at all times.

I will not interfere with your work or family obligations, which is why you will keep me informed and up to date, with regard to your schedule, at all times. I have priority over non preplanned, non-family, social plans or outings, so if you schedule something without my okay, it will be your own fault if you have to cancel. I will not make you cancel plans with family, but if it is a non-emergency thing and I was not informed, you will be punished. Keep this in mind. All it takes is a quick message to me, letting me know you want to do something. I am very reasonable about these things, as long as you follow my directions.

• You will be expected to make certain that there is time in your schedule to spend at least a day or two a week with me, possibly overnight.

This does NOT obligate me to spend that amount of time with you. You exist to please and serve me, not the other way 'round. Never forget this.

• If you have children, they are your Number ONE Priority, at all times, no matter what!

This trumps the previous two rules. If I EVER find that you have neglected your children's needs, for any avoidable reason, there will be hell to pay!
This is completely NON NEGOTIABLE and is something likely to cause me to dismiss you from my service in disgrace, without hesitation.

• When we are together, you will beg permission for most things. This includes, but is not limited to, eating, drinking, smoking, putting on or removing clothing, including outerwear, or anything which requires you to leave my presence, however briefly.

The manner in which you will be expected to beg will depend on the circumstances and present company. For instance, in kink friendly situations, you will kneel and beg as an abject slave. In public, you will more likely ask politely to be excused or use codes or non verbal signals, which I will provide you with.

• You will provide me with detailed information about your fantasies, fears, and desires, so that I may more precisely tailor playtime with you and understand what makes you tick.

I often enjoy making a slave's fantasies come true. There are times that pleasing you will please me, and you are responsible for helping me to do that, when I so desire.

• you will be expected to keep a journal, in which you will be permitted to express anything at all, in any fashion you wish, without fear of punishment.

I will have access to said journal, but may or may not read it regularly. If there are entries that you specifically wish me to read, you will need to direct my attention to it and beg me to read it.

This posting is a work in progress, and will be added to from time to time as I think of things to add to it.

Questions and comments, especially ones that might help me make this post more comprehensive are more than welcome!

Seeking a slave

I have recently decided to consider taking a slave.
Gender, orientation, appearance** and size are not terribly important. Honesty, obedience, and desire to serve ARE!

Applicants wishing to be considered will:

• Take the time and effort to read this post, and my profile in their entirety, before contacting me.
• Write a well worded, polite, and concise introduction, using proper spelling, grammar, capitalisation and punctuation, telling me why you wish to serve me and what qualifications, skills, and/or traits you possess.
• Be rigorously and entirely honest; Both with me and in all areas of their lives. (Note: This does NOT mean giving out your personal information before we are ready to move to that level! That is simply foolish, and I have no use for a stupid or foolish slave!)
• Have a sincere desire to serve, please, and obey.
• Practice good personal hygiene and grooming.
• Be drama free.
• Have and maintain their own living quarters. This will not be a live-in position.
• Be mature and capable of independence.
• Not be allergic or overly sensitive to cigar smoke. Cigar enthusiast a BIG plus!
• Like, and be able to be around animals, especially dogs.

My slave will perform both domestic and personal duties. Domestic service will include things such as cleaning, organizing, occasional cooking, miscellaneous household tasks, and perhaps entertaining guests. Personal service involves serving me food and drink, cigar service, pampering me with massages, foot service/pedicures, manicures, grooming, and the like, accompanying me to events or on errands, serving as my playtoy, and anything else that I decide will please me.

In turn, I will nurture, train, guide and cherish my slave as a treasured possession and a property to be consistently maintained and improved.

I expect slaves to obey, not necessarily without question, but without undue hesitation or unnecessary questioning, and to provide me, promptly, with any information that is relevant to the situation.
I also expect respect and deference to be shown to me and to all free persons at all times.

While I do not insist on "high protocol" all the time, preferring a more relaxed approach most of the time, the slavery will be absolute and I will NOT tolerate blatant disrespect, rudeness, drama, attempted manipulation, "topping from the bottom", or disobedience. Those will be punished quickly and, if continued, will result in dismissal.

I would prefer a slave who has at least some training, but applicants will not be disregarded solely because they do not. A sincere desire to learn, obey, and be pleasing is far more important to me than prior training. I will train you to suit my preferences, either way.

I do not take ownership lightly, nor do I stand for "Velcro collars".
Once the collar is on, it is on. If it comes off, it stays off. (This does not apply to temporary, physical removal, as may be needed for medical or other purposes.)

I am not interested in solving all your problems for you, relieving you of your responsibilities as an adult, or excessive micromanaging.
I seek a slave in order to make my life more pleasant, not to add troubles. That said, I will provide guidance, encouragement, and support in areas of self improvement, with the expectation that you will do the footwork required.

I enjoy many aspects of BDSM and I am a sadist. When we play, I will not take you beyond what you can handle, but I WILL push your limits and you will not necessarily enjoy everything I do to you, but will take what I dish out in order to please me, so you may bask in the glow of approval that comes with a job well done. I enjoy screams and moans of pleasure just as much as I enjoy those of pain, so it will not all be for my pleasure alone. What it will always be is at my whim.

Any potential slave will be interviewed and we will communicate online, followed by telephone contact, to see if it seems like we are compatible.
If it seems likely, we will arrange to meet in a neutral and public location, where we will talk further and get to know one another a bit more. If that meeting is productive and positive, we will meet again, as many times as needed for both of us to feel comfortable moving to the next level.
If all that goes well, they will undergo a period of consideration, during which, they will receive training and will serve me as though in my collar, until they have proven themselves AND they feel ready to commit to becoming my property.

While I am looking for a long term/full time (though not live in) slave, I am also willing to consider other, more temporary arrangements as well.

Questions in response to this post are welcome, but only if you have read the entire post and my profile, to see if your question has already been answered.

Responses that contain "net speak", lack of punctuation, S/slashy T/typing, or rudeness will likely be ignored, as will questions that are already answered in this post or my profile.

**While the parts of your appearance that you have no immediate control over are largely unimportant, I insist that you make the effort to properly bathe and groom yourself daily, and wear clean clothing when in my presence. I understand that many of us cannot afford "nice" clothing, but it had better be clean and neat!