7/21/2010 9:26:14 AM: YOU KNOW YOU'RE KINKY WHEN...   - You keep the ACE Hardware catalog with your other pornography. - You were always disappointed that the book Of Human Bondage wasn't. - Sticks & stones may break your bones, but that's an acceptable risk. - You read Andrea Dworkin for the pornography. - You call people other than your Father 'Daddy.' - Reading the word spanking makes you blush. - Your first, favorite scout badge was for knot tying. - You moved to Oregon so you could wear more raincoats. - Kitchen utensils are found in your bedroom. - Tack shops: Not just for equestrians anymore. - You own and use handcuffs, but aren't employed in law enforcement. - Your contracts involve punishments, but no money. - Your friends covet the bondage cross in your bedroom. - You hear about a Bridal Fashion Show to be held in your town, and you think, 'Cool! I've always wanted to see what pony gear looks like ON someone!' - Your entire Music collection consists of music you can Scene to. - You give a new song a rating of 65. It's got a good beat and you can squirm to it. - You start to salivate and get aroused as you pass the local candle factory. - You always smell like Yankee Candle's Scent-Of-The-Month. - Canning season gets you *really* excited. - You see a sign in front of a house that reads, Chairs Caned, and you stop to see if the poor guy needs a PERSON to cane. - Citibank calls you because someone used your credit card to make a huge purchase at a tack shop in another state, and they know that you live in a metropolitan area and don't own a horse. - You make your vacation destination decisions based on that area's Assault and Battery, Consent, and Sexual Deviance laws. - Your Avon Representative politely informs you that the company has no plans to make that Eau de Leather scent you have been pestering them about. - Your idea of Fantasy Island looks far more like 'Exit to Eden' than anything they showed on TV. - They know you by name, size, and favorite colors at four local leather shops.