3/16/2018 3:13:46 PM: (3/13/18) marked 11 months since I'd made any journal entries.  Perhaps it's time for an update?  How about a combination admission/confession?   In March of 2017 I was very excited about all the possibilities Cspace had to offer.  My patience with people was impressive, and I actually had a hopeful attitude.  The feeling that my time wasn't completely being squandered reigned supreme, and I wiled away hours on this damn site, exchanging messages with all manner of freaks and fakes, time wasters and truly deviant souls.  At the time, the fakes were merely an annoyance, but it didn't take too long to realize how much of an affect they would have no my experience here.  In March, I had much success, because I still had that patience necessary to weed through the problem people, and the stamina required to convince those who were serious that I was the one to take a chance with, or follow, or submit to, or whatever was going on at that moment.  That was a good time, and I would have had mostly positive things to say if someone had asked me for my opinion about the site, or the people who frequent it.     More than a year has passed, and my attitude has understandably changed.  Anyone who has spent even a small amount of time on this site knows what I am talking about when I say the fakes and people who willfully wasted your time have made it a serious bummer to use.  My attitude has gotten so negative and pessimistic lately that I’ve pretty much been jumping in the face of anyone who contacted me, challenging them to prove they are real, and admonishing them far too quickly for not being what I wanted them to be.  Part of that is me, there’s no denying it, but the vast majority of the reasons for my impatience and frustration has come from spending so much time dealing with people who don’t read your profile, or don’t have any intention of going through with anything you are discussing with them.  The number of people who don’t see that I DON’T do online is ridiculous, and we’ve all had to deal with the morons who swear they are ready to relocate.  They might be in the next county, or an entire continent away, but their intention to move to where you are, so they can submit to you 24/7 is not based in reality.  It’s gotten so bad I’ve just been skipping the “get to know you” phase and demanding people immediately transport and deliver themselves to my front door.  Nobody in their right mind would do that, and if they did, it’s probably not safe to have them in my home.  So I’ve likely pissed away a couple of legitimate opportunities, but for the most part I hope I’ve just shooed away the pests for a while.  Because I know they’ll be back.  They seem to have the memory of a fly…   I make no promises, but I do hope to have a bit more patience with people on this site again.  Yes, a great many will take advantage of that, but with the exception of completely taking myself off of CollarSpace, I have no other option than to continue to put myself out there, and take the chance.  If it ever pays off, and I get what I want, I’ll smile and say it’s been worth it.

4/13/2017 11:02:01 AM: Transgressive and Taboo:   There are always social limits on what we can do.  Some of these - the most elemental taboos, go back centuries; others are more superficial, simply defining polite and acceptable behavior.  People yearn to explore their dark side, and I am more than happy to cultivate that desire in everyone I meet.  Not everything in romantic love is supposed to be tender and soft; in addition to being affectionate and loving, I also have a sadistic, often cruel streak.  I do not respect or even acknowledge age differences, marriage vows, or familial ties.  If you have a sincere desire to transgress, do not deny or sublimate what you want.  I will take you further than you ever imagined, and the shared (but wholly acceptable) feeling of guilt and complicity will create a powerful bond between us.  Together, we can explore the shadowy side of our personalities without incurring punishment or ostracism.  We can immerse ourselves in the outer reaches of acceptable, polite behavior, into the realm of the truly depraved.  I will determine how far we will go, and when it is time to stop.  To be involved with me is to go beyond your limits, to do something naughty and unacceptable.