3/23/2016 9:59:23 AM: Below are deions of some of the minimum qualifications which anyone who hopes to be successful in Owning me, must have. It is not meant to be complete, just to provide you with some of the more important qualities I look for in a potential Owner: 1. SELF-CONTROL If you can't control yourself--your vices, your emotions, your tendencies to act out--you cannot control another person. All slaves, even the best, resist control at times. Dealing with that resistance in a way that encourages good behavior and helps to train me to be a better slave and a happier person, means realizing from the start that my actions, however you may dislike them, are not about YOU. Learning not to respond narcissistically (with anger, personal affront, hurt, or defensiveness) when I behave in a resisting or manipulative way, is part of self-control. Instead of overreacting, a self-controlled Owner will rationally and over time, devise workable strategies based on his intimate knowledge of his slave that discourage the behavior and attitudes He dislikes. 2. EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE: People who only imagine that they are Masters, and who are suddenly thrust into the position of having to control a real human being face-to-face, often ask a very revealing question: when faced with the initial difficulties of training a slave and overcoming the onslaught of her resistances, (a situation which requires so much self-control and maturity on His part), they often wonder what it is that He gets out of the relationship besides hard work and grief. An actual Master, someone right for the position, never wonders this in any serious sense. He knows what He wants to get out of the power-exchange, and He makes sure, despite the difficulties, that He gets it. A Master must actually BE Dominant. He must actually have a strong enough will to get His needs met, and to insist that He get what He wants out of the relationship. In addition, to someone who is genuinely a Master, overcoming the slave's resistances in a way that enhances the relationship for both of them is something that, despite His dislike of the actual resistance, He relishes, as in the long run it enhances His control. 3. RESPONSIBILITY: Owning someone for life is a very serious endeavor. When you control another person and can do anything to her that you want to, you have a great responsibility toward her. Some people shallowly liken a Master's responsibility to that of owning a pet, but it's much more of a duty than that. In terms of the seriousness with which the Owner must take His charge, it's more like having a child. You control this person absolutely, and, assuming that your love your slave, you must make sure that the things that you do (or don't do) are not harmful or damaging to her. He has to think first, and carefully, before He speaks out in anger. He has to consider how each action He takes, or decision He makes, affects His slave as well as Himself. He has to anticipate how she will react to certain things before He commits to them. He is steering the ship. He is the only one in charge. If He truly understands that, then He also knows that when things screw up and don't work out, it is NOT the fault of the person who is on her knees before Him and who must follow His orders. Responsibility and accountability go hand in hand, and they are His, alone.  4. MATURITY: A Master has to be grown up enough to take full responsibility when things go wrong. A child in an adult's body, on the other hand, blames every bad thing or misfortune that befalls Him on others. Nothing is ever his responsibility. It's always someone else who has screwed up. A Master also has patience and a willingness to wait a long time, if necessary, for things to work out. Some things in power-exchange take a very long time to achieve, and a Master, especially, has to have the determination and fortitude to wait for these things without giving up or losing heart. He must able to keep perspective and not see every little emotional difficulty from his slave as a sign that the relationship isn't working, or as some symptom of the fact that she doesn't love Him. A Master also knows how to walk the very fine line between not letting His slave's emotional difficulties rule Him, and becoming emotionally distant from her on the other. He must have a calm, even personality that isn't rocked by every little incident that life throws at Him. A Master must be able to be looked up to by His slave, leaned on, seen as a pillar of strength and support...at all times, not just when He finds it fun or easy to play that role. It is not a role that is played, it is the life you both have mutually chosen to live, together. 5. TRUSTWORTHINESS: This may be the most important quality that a Master must have. Someone who is completely dependent upon another person and who exists only to please that person, has to know that He is reliable, consistent, and capable of keeping His word. A Master isn't trustworthy just because He says He is. He's trustworthy when He proves to His slave, with consistent actions over a long period of time, that He does what He says He is going to do when He says He will do it. He must tell her the truth and not deceive or manipulate her, and show that she can come to Him with her problems, fears, and vulnerabilities and that in Him there is a safe place to let these things out, free of ridicule and judgment. 6. EXPERIENCE AND KNOWLEDGE: A Master MUST know what He is doing. He must know which activities are safe, and which put His slave in danger physically or psychologically. He must understand how to get to know His slave...to delve deeply into her personality so that He can both better control her, and keep her serving Him happily and enthusiastically. Most people who claim to be Masters don't have the slightest idea of how to do any of this. Learning how to control someone, how to overcome her resistances, how to handle each new situation that comes up... takes a great deal of knowledge and experience, and there is an art to it as well. It's complex, as each individual dynamic requires a different, non-canned or stereotyped response, and the only way He learns this kind of thing is from having many, many years in the school of hard knocks, or from another Master who already has this first-hand knowledge. Although I have extensive experience, I have no desire to attempt to educate and train someone to become a Master. I can....I have....but I will not again.

3/2/2016 12:16:34 PM: For all those people who seem to think that a sub and a slave are one and the same, they are NOT. A submissive renews the choice to submit, every time a demand is levied upon her. A slave makes a one time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon her to obey. To elaborate, then.... SUBMISSIVE: At the heart of submission is both the choice to submit, and the option to say 'No'. The submissive decides how much authority she will cede to another, how much control she will bow to, and what aspects of her life she will surrender to His command. The submissive power exchange is about choice. She has the option to decide how she feels about a demand, and what she is going to do about it. At any point that the sub is not comfortable with this arrangement, it is within her rights to say 'No, I'm not going to do that'. This becomes a signal to the couple that they need to renegotiate something. It does not completely derail the power dynamic between them, though she does have the option, at any point, to leave the relationship and not return. A submissive who is controlled in large tracts of her life (her sexuality, work, dress, social habits, etc), may fall into a space of obedience where orders in those arenas are never mulled over or reassessed (in the sense of 'renewing the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon her'). This is not counter to the definition I offer above, but a special subset thereof. Even for such a closely-controlled submissive, there remains some areas of her life, or aspect of her person, where she retains autonomy, or where it is her option to decide if she wishes to submit in the moment. In short: a submissive chooses to submit, and has the option to say 'no' to a Dominant's command. How, then, does consensual slavery differ from submission? SLAVE: First and foremost, M/s slavery hinges upon a commitment to obedience. The slave does not revisit issues such as 'should I submit?' or 'How do I feel about that? Will I say yes or no?' When an order is issued, whether or not the slave agrees with it, she is obedient in the same manner that a soldier is who has enlisted in the military.  Secondly, in consensual slavery, a slave gives herself over to the control of her Owner as completely as is humanly possible. This means not only a high degree of obedience, but that there is actually a chattel property context to the relationship. It is a mutual understanding of Ownership and property status that arises between the parties. While both slaves and submissives are often fondly referred to as 'property', in the sense of consensual slavery the slave becomes literally (by mutual agreement) the property of the Owner. Unlike a submissive, a slave does not have the right to remove her collar, end her service to her Master, or leave the dynamic. Period. It is not unheard of for slaves to be sold or given away by their Owner, should He become terminally ill, and for the slave to go willingly to a new Owner of His choosing, for the remainder of her life. Thirdly, a slave cannot say 'No' without completely abrogating the very basis of the Master/slave agreement. A 'No' from a slave is a terminal deal-breaker in a way that it is not such for a submissive. IT IS NOT A SPECTRUM: D/s Submissives are commonly viewed as falling upon a spectrum. At one end is one who submits very little, or only in a scene-delimited context. At the other, is one who submits as a constant in a lifestyle context and is very controlled, and everyone else falls somewhere in between. The big error occurs when people assume that a slave is simply another point on that spectrum. That she is a more extreme form of submissive than is found in the ordinary range of submission. To think this is to fundamentally misunderstand the internal dynamics of slavery. A slave is not an uber-sub...someone 'more' submissive than the 'ordinary' submissive.