12/28/2017 9:55:30 PM:

8/9/2017 7:48:53 PM:

8/9/2017 7:47:52 PM:

7/27/2017 1:59:33 AM: Just a little rant about meeting potential sub.It is funny when i met in person with a sub for very first time he will say; oh bring it on, dont hold yourself, i can take it, i want you to do this and that... oh yes yes i understand you are in control,... but can we do a little bit bonding and oh i do really really like it when you treat me like your dog...oh no no i dont do that, i actually prefer this way.........REALLY?If you are really into long term relationship like i do, you are not so stupid to understand the 'long term' means you got all the time in the world to explore. Do you really think i will spill all of my magic to you just for 2-3 days you spent with me??why do you really think you are that special?Yes, i got the experience, yes i know how to do it... oh hell yes if you see me in person you will understand i am not just an angry girl with leather bustier. You will know i am more than just an angry lady with a whip.Just because you flew thousand miles away, to see me doesnt mean you have the right to rule me and tell me how you like to do it. Nope. Not going to happen.Oh why why? Sure meeting up means we got to know each other, i will be all sweet about it. But NEVER EXPECT me not to notice it when you TOP ME FROM BOTTOM.You dont tell me what to do.If you cant get a grip of this, then you might as well go to your local BDSM group and find those you could pay by the hour and tell her what she could do to you. It will safe all the hassle.Long term need commitment, and if i feel you dont have that in anything you do or say, dont even dream it---you will not see most of me. BDSM same like in any other relation it need trust, how can i trust you if you dont even show me your submission level to what i desire? you came here to my feet with a deman---for me to treat you as you wish for? no no...I watch you since you speak to me, i studied you as you come to see me first time ever. I feel you i value you, i TEST you, whether you like it or not. It is my duty, my responsibilities. Later i could determine if you trainable, or i could manage you or not.So.... for those who feels annoyed to see me in person thinking well... shes not extreme etc. Its your right to say so---i aiming for long term, if i am not sure you are the right one, i dont feel i like to do things with you. Not as much as you think.I dont have regret. I do things my way.

7/26/2017 1:03:37 AM: I open my suitcase where i kept my leather bustier and stuff. I got so shocked how it got severely damaged *weep*Indonesia dampness ruin everything inside it.I was so sad that i began crying there.In every each of the clothes and accessories there, there are stories with my ex sub the laugh and the pain the excitement the party, the knots, the padlocks and chains the whip, the tears from my sub.I sat there, for sometimes. Maybe its just the stressed.I know if my sub by myside he will hug me here and said everything will be all right.I am tired keeping this side of me here. I am truly tired by off balanced person because i tried to fit in 24/7 in Asia culture where female are the 2nd class submissive who just accept the way men treated them. I am not that person.I locked all of my self along in that one suitcase, not only the clothes but also my personalities.I do miss it!Its frustrating me with this journey. There are plenty of sub out there sending me messages but second guessing me.  Its your right, sure.... but i know when i send message i know this sub is a great good sub.You are a good sub.But sometimes or most of the times circumstance not on our behalf. Me traveling, you traveling, me busy youre busy. And not to mention *sigh* those with the unpacked luggage from previous relationship.I really cant do anything about it before you fix things with yourself.Yes there are hundreds of sub out there for me, but i dont want just sub i want someone who also want the same thing as i do. Accept you the way you are, and accept me as your domme completely.I will be a controlling bitch that will come after your ass to made you in  order... just the way i like it. Its a relationship where i dominate where we could have a laugh cuddling watching tv while youre serving me with popcorns where my feet massaged by you.Still on the floor trying to figure out what to do with my broken bustier, skirt and pants...You just had no idea how hard to find the NATURAL sincere sub who want the same thing... do you?These broken leathers are the prove.