This was on my profile prior to tonight September 15th 2014.  After reflecting on the intensity of my words here, I've decided to go with something a little lighter in my profile.  Though this all is still who I am I've concluded that maybe it's too much for a first impression. 

The most consistent thing in life seems to be change...but right now I just need something stable and committed...

slave, fucked up little girl, kinky, devoted, committed
This is who I am, hopefully one day it will be  what it takes to please the right person.  If you are looking for someone to rebuild or break down and recreate, I would not be the person to fit that role.

i find that i don't seem to fit the molds often expected of me.

i have a submissive personality, a desire to please, and i long to be controlled.

i believe in God.

With committment all things are possible?

Often i must remind myself that a slave serves His will, not His correctness...

i am far from perfect, but i do believe in honesty and sincerity, i am reflective and sometimes too serious. I tend to get in trouble, most often for being a goof. i believe that what you give, you get back 10 fold. i am positive and eager. my wish is to be with someone who is driven. If i belong to You, i will devote myself to Your care and happiness.

Finally - being submissive is how i am, but not who i am.

i am a person with desires and longings and needs. and yes, i do have expectations...i know that a slave's role in life can mean different things to different people....for me, i ultimately see my slavitude as an agreement to submit my rights and power to someone who agrees to oversee my life to His best ability. In exchange for His care, concern and protection, my role is to serve and devote my energy and effort into pleasing Him. Ideally the life we build together would bring us both a sense of commitment, enjoyment, respect, friendship and love for one another.

i guess i am in a rant"y" mood this week because i have another something i can't help but write about.  It's honestly something that makes me giggle...

i don't mean to be disrespectful or make fun of anyone, this is definitely meant goodnaturedly...and maybe as a little hint to those Doms out there who are trying so hard to impress.

i'm not really sure who or what You Doms compare Yourselves too, but You would laugh too if You heard how many times i hear..."I have a much stronger sex drive than other men"  Now, maybe You do or maybe You don't, but think You do, however, who are You comparing Your sex drive to?  Saying things like, "I'm primal" or "I need it every day numerous times" these comments in no way make You unique on Collar Me.  Most men here are very proud of their sexual capabilities.  Insisting that You are more "sexually driven" than the next guy...just seems silly.

Remember gang, we are all here because it's a kink site, something in the kink world attracts each and every one of us here.  So whether You're able to Dom the world, have sex a 30 times a day, or are more Masterly than anyone else on site...

i just want to know that You are decent, respectful, nice person.  Kink, while it is the cherry on top, is fun.......In a ltr, i want to know the kind of qualities You have as a person...not just as a bedroom partner...

jennie

There really is little point in lies, a lie only grows and ends up hurting people.  i'm not new to this world, and yes i am distrustful and protective until i know You well enough to trust You.  Pretending to be someone You aren't for something You think might happen, is really just pointless.  Quite frankly, i don't deserve such disrespect and You don't really want the guilt and feelings of loss that will follow in the end.

I realized something today.  I am in a good place in my life.  I have good friends, i've finally built up a social network again that i feel good about. 

I have prospects...  It's just a little over a year now when my life changed so drastically that i thought i might never be happy again.  But now, i know that despite that original feeling of loss, life does go on and one does find ways to fill the empty spots of their heart.  Once all those empty spots are filled, it's all about feeling whole again!

I spent this last week with some very strong women, each about 15 to 20 years older than myself and each for whatever reason single, but strong.  It dawned on me after listening to them, that life isn't necessarily about finding someone else to complete you.. rather, it's about being able to complete yourself...and maybe then finding the person who can believe in you....

peace and resect,

jennie

Funny,

Someone, i don't even really know just pointed out to me how much i've grown since my last journal entry.

It's amazing where i am today compared to where i was then.  i am now much more comfortable, both where i am in life, and in my own skin.  i've dealt with a few things, cleaned up a few leftover hurts and i really do feel confident in standing on my own two feet.

i've made a few friends in the lifestyle recently and i hope to make more. While my old life may have disapeared, i've learned that new things and new people become important and gradually evolve into parts of who i am. 

i've also learned that it's important to keep growing and moving and evolving...taking steps forward...some days those steps are small, other days they seem huge but what's important is i'm not stagnating and settling for what i have.  i'm continuing to build upon the strong base i've created for myself....and i just keep getting stronger. :o)

i think of myself as starting a new phase in my life.  Occasionally i still feel sad, but other times i'm so excited i can hardly keep from bouncing in every direction.

i have a new home, it's small, but solid, and i've been able to do a lot to it, paint, carpet, some things are coming about slowly like curtains (a naked loving girl has to be careful in that situation) and furniture, but it will all get done.

Somehow my ex and i have found even footing and are staying friends.  i always think it's good to not completely lose someone who once held your heart.  After all, you've shared both good and bad and no one else in the world is going to be able to relate to any of that except for the two of you.

Now it's time to add flavor to the mix, to see who is out there, and what kinds of things we can stir up. :o)  i've lost a lot of my social life in this rollercoaster ride...but it's now time to get some things back!