Not fitting in anymore

I guess there is a point in everyone’s life where they realize that they just do not fit in their little box anymore.

I would guess that is when many of us joined a site like this. I like knowing there are others like me out there, not because it validates me, but because it lets me know there is the possibility of finding someone enough like me to be with.

But of late, on both sites I frequent, (Fetlife and Collarspace), I have started to see that I no longer fit the mold I have projected for so long.

Every few days like many on Fet I check out the kinky and popular because there are sexy women in pics there, and like most guys I like to see those kinds of things. But every time I look on there, or even read through the forums or groups on Fet or the chatrooms on CS I see I do not fit with some of  these people.

Not because I am not as sexy as some of them, looks are great, but there has to be more, but because their values, how they live their lives in many cases sadden me, disgust me, or at least make me feel for them on an actual human level.

On any given day you see people into all kinds of things, but some of them make me wonder.

I admit I have a very narrow view of BDSM, I know what will and won’t work for me and at times I project that onto others. I know that is not how it works, but I also know that some of what I see here is just plain wrong, not just to me, but too many others both on here and not on here.

I despise poly, casual, friends with benefits, or whatever you want to call it this week, month or year. Not because I am a prude about sex, or multiple partners, but because I think it lacks so much.

Yes I know that is me projecting some, but I also know that for every poly relationship that works there are at least 4 that do not, and I would be willing to bet that is way less than the actual numbers.

I see so many people on these sites projecting an image, a façade, and using poly to do it. Some of them are professionals, and that is cool for them because it is work, but for real people, actually getting involved in BDSM, I think poly is short changing the connection that is possible. If you are splitting your attention between 2, 3, 12, or however many you are involved with, then how can you have the connection with them that BDSM is based on?

Honesty is the basis of this, and to me, even if you are totally honest with each partner, then how can you not realize that being with others is in fact lying by omission if nothing else.

I see so many people on here playing with multiple people and then complaining about not feeling connected to anyone. Well yeah, if you make yourself an option to someone, or multiple someone’s then they will seldom become a priority that is basic human behavior.

And before you think I am just bashing poly people that is not really the case, I know a few people who have made and do make poly work, they have great relationships with great people and sometimes they are long standing relationships, sometimes not, but they say they are, and seem to be happy with what and who they are.

For those few, I am sorry I am painting you with this broad brush, because this is all about not judging and not painting everyone with the same brush, I know that, but sometimes you got to paint around the hammer marks on a fresh wall, and then patch them up and repaint later.

Granted, many of these people I see doing this are younger than I am, they are learning some of the lessons we all have learned over time and they will figure them out at some point.

But many of these people are just out there using others for nothing more than a wet hole or a hard rod and using people like that says as much about the user as the ones being used.

Too many people on these sites just hate the other gender, but can’t admit it and do everything they can to hurt and abuse others in the name of their role.

I admit I do not understand lots of things in BDSM, I am 45, and I still do not understand, financial domination (if you are paying them, then who is really in control), adult babies (because nothing is sexier than dirty diapers), long-term chastity (sure let’s kill someone’s sex drive to make us feel powerful), the term punishment (we are adults, we should act like it), any form of cuckold relationships (I can’t see how that is sexy to others), and about a million other things that just make me go What the Fuck are you thinking.

I am not close minded, I pride myself on being open to people both in daily life and in my private dealings, and I truly do believe that as long as both people are into it, and no one is actually getting really hurt, then it is ok to explore, but that is not what I see most of the time here.

I do not have to like your kink, I might even call you a sicko or a user, or a money whore or any of a thousand other things, but if it is your kink and you do no harm, then I say find someone as sick as you are and enjoy it, just leave your kink out of my kink.

We are not supposed to be ok with what everyone else does, we are not supposed to stay quiet and hope that we do not offend someone, we are supposed to stand up for what WE think is right, be that popular or not. To thy own self be true, is not a bad way of living your life.

I admit many times I bite my tongue when I am in a chatroom or discussion board instead of just telling someone they are full of shit. The reason I do this is because how many times a day can you call someone out on their shit.

However, I have realized the last few weeks and months that I am not doing anyone any favors by doing that, least of all myself.

So here is the truth about me.

I am a fat, 45 year-old guy with a passion for sports, science, politics, history and people who are smart. I despise drama in pretty much all forms because it is normally created by people just trying to make themselves look better by making others feel bad. I had a grandmother like that, and I hated her for being that way, and I was related to her. I never put up with her being an ass to others, so why would I restrain myself to strangers. Well I will not anymore.

I am a straight guy, I label myself as a switch because I have been both a sub and a Dom and I can fit in either role. (Little hint to the people out there that think switches can’t make up their minds, you are wrong, most of us know who and what we want, but that is not always the same thing with different people. Also because I list myself as a switch, that does not mean I will ever ask you to switch.)

I do not fit in, and for the first time is a very long time I do not give a damn if I do not fit in, I am going to be true to me and my views for a while. Being quiet to get along is not the way to live your life, God, the creator, the universe, or whatever you want to believe in, gave you a voice USE it when you need to.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

In other words, Do Right and everything else will take care of itself.

This is my first annual list of stupid shit, stupid people and just random stupid things that I have either noticed this year or I have taken time to not like.

The first thing in my list, nothing can be the first annual, it can be the first, but it can't be annual until after the second.

People, at most every red light in the United States there is a stop line. Around that line are sensors in the ground to tell the light when to change. When you stop 30 feet short of the line the light will not change, PULL UP TO THE LINE.

Cell phones are not your friends. Do not walk around just looking at them and not looking at the world. Notice what is around you, talk to people, learn from them, laugh with them, make them laugh, smile at them, but don't just chat away on the phone, you become a traffic hazard.

Close-minded people, but especially conservatives, who think that if you do not act just like them then you are evil. Everyone has the right to think and act like they see fit, be good to each other and respect each other and guess what the world will be a bit better.

All politicians should be banned from talking until they disclose every cent of money that is given to them. Before a debate, they should have to list their top 200 doners on the screen so you can see who that person is really beholden to. And I do not mean just the personal donations but the ones that come from all the soft money too, every cent, and not just the name of the PAC that gives, but the people behind it as well.

Anyone that thinks you can end terrorism by just bombing people needs to grow up. Do you have to get rid of the crazies, sure you do, but until the people of that country want to put forth the effort to get rid of them then what is the point? You can't stop terrorists by just killing them, that will only create more, you have to kill them and show them a better way.

Anyone that thinks terrorists are just Muslims. We have terrorists all over the place. The disenfranchised, the hopeless, the lost will always look for something to be a part of, if you can help these people before they turn, then you will not have the homegrown problems, or at least not as many. We will always have crazy people.

Bullies, just stop already. If you think you look like a bad-ass, remember there is always someone else around bigger and badder than you. Luckily, karma is a nasty bitch and she always wins in the end.

The last thing on my list for this year are the people in congress and the senate and military who let our veterans come home and not be able to get the help they deserve because the DOD and the Veteran's administration are not talking to each other. Get one computer system, use it, and get these people any help they need. These veterans signed up, trained, went overseas multiple times in most cases, saw and did things no one should have to do or see and then we send them home and say now act like everyone else again.
I have the ultimate respect for all our veterans and I hate to see politicians hurt them by saying they will support them, then cutting funding for a new computer system to streamline the process.
Everyone needs to pay a little less lip service to the problem and be part of the solution.

This so ends my bitch list for 2015, unless of course I find better or new stuff to bitch about before the end of the year, I reserve the right to add if need be.

In short, be better to each other and it is amazing all the cool things that can happen.

When you see someone treat others badly what do you do?

Sunday evening I thought I would head to the grocery store and before it was over with I got threatened with arrest for trying to help someone out.

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE WITH THIS?

I knew I only needed a few things at the grocery store so i picked up the little hand held basket and started shopping. With just the little hand held, and knowing what I was there for, I was skipping over rows of things and just heading down the rows where I needed something. On one row I passed a man, woman and child with a buggy. They were arguing about something or other and I didn't really care what so I passed them by.
Well a few minutes later I had moved several rows down and I was looking for some cookies, when they passed me again and this time every word out of the man and woman's mouth was cursing. The little girl, who I later learned was 8, was pushing the buggy while the other two were walking away from her fast down the isle and she was trying to push the buggy and keep up.
The little girl got to the end of the row and tried to turn the cart but lost control of it and hit one of the end displays.
Unfortunantly for her the display came tumbling down as it was boxes of Mac and Cheese and while it was not a big bang, you could hear it. I was about 10 feet away when it happened and I put my basket down to check on the little girl. She had a small cut on her lip where her face had hit the cart and had a little bit of blood but nothing bad on her lip.
I asked her if she was ok, she nodded yes, but never spoke, then the two "grown-ups" came stomping back to check on the girl. They both were cursing at each other and at her, but I told them that she was not hurt except for the little cut on her lip.
Her mother went into full mom-mode to check on her daughter, worried about her and seemed to calm down. The guy, well he was too busy calling first the little girl stupid and then the mother stupid and yelling and cursing at them to care what had happened.
The mother finally kinda snapped at him to shut up and leave the daughter alone since she should not have been rolling the cart on her own anyway.
The guy then walked over to the mother and daughter, who by now was crying a little, and backhanded the little girl knocking her down and punched the mother above the left eye then pushed her into another display rack sending items and her flying.
At that point I grabbed him and walked him away from the area for a bit before yelling for the store to call the cops.
I am not a little guy, 6-4, around 280, and I was just going to stay between that guy and the woman and child because he was not going to hit that little girl again or the mother if I could help it.
Well when I yelled for the store to call the police, he lost his mind it seemed. He tried to rush me twice. The first time he tried to grab me and lunged and I just side-stepped him, the second time he grabbed my shirt and tried to to punch me in the face. That time I defended myself and dropped him. He was only about 5-10 and probably only weighed 160 pounds or so so I was not too worried about being able to protect myself.
By this point several employees and customers had come to my aid and we kept him sitting and away from the woman and little girl who at this point were both bleeding.
The police get there and after hearing the story of what happened they check his name and find he is wanted for other crimes and arrest him for that and for the Domestic Violence charges.
The police then proceed to handcuff me and start to take me out of the store. The other customers who were witnesses along with the store manager tell the police to stop as I did nothing wrong. I was honestly in shock, I never argued with the policeman and was very polite when telling him what happened.
He told them I was being arrested for disorderly conduct and assault. At that point the scene turned pretty ugly for a bit with the insults being throw at the police by the other witnesses. Eventually a second policeman there, who I actually know, came in and straightened out the whole thing. He came in took charge of the situation and in 30 seconds flat, I was un-handcuffed and he said he was sorry for the mistake.
The longer I sit here after this happened, the more I think what else should I have done?
Do I let a little girl get hit again before I do something? Do I just let the guy beat his girlfriend and do nothing to keep from getting arrested?
I thanked the other people who stood up for me, they really helped me out tonight and I thanked the store employees as well.
I have never been arrested, I am 43, and have lived a pretty normal life. When I was in college I probably should have been arrested, but I never have and have never really thought about it to be honest with you. The worst thing I ever got was a ticket for not having my licence on me as I left my wallet at home by accident once.
I was always taught as a kid and told as an adult to stand up for others who need your help, but to me it seems like if you do you might pay a bigger price for it than they do. I got lucky that the guy was not armed with something. I got lucky that I actually knew a police officer there.
I was already having issues with humanity as a whole, but this has not helped the things running through my mind right now.

So again what would you have done and what was the right thing to do?

Everyone gets mad, it is part of being human, but today, I had one of those days where frustration, lack of sleep and a whole bunch of other things came together for a really bad day.
I have a problem with anger, I always have.
My father had major issues with anger when I was growing up, and while few things scare me, when I was growing up he did.
He had that flash temper where he would go from joking around to backhanding you for no real reason.
As a result of those experiences I have always done my best to harness my anger.
I am a big guy, and while I try not to use intimidation, I know there are times I do it without even realizing it.
But Wednesday, September 17th, I had an issue that really made me wonder how much progress I have made over the years.
I have been remodeling a rental house, and like all remodeling jobs, everything has cost twice as much as you think it will and take twice as long. I have now done a few of these houses, so that part of the job I expect.
What I have not expected in this house is how difficult it has been to get the materials I have ordered.
I have been buying most of my materials, plus cabinets and a window and paint and trim from Lowes. I have always had good experiences with Lowes, that is why I was using them, but this remodeling job has been more than difficult.
Since I have started doing this house I have had three different issues with Lowes and today I lost my cool in the store loudly and very publicly.
The cabinets I ordered from them had a cabinet that didn't fit the hole correctly, so I had to return that one only to be told they may not be able to match the finish of the other cabinets because they, three days before, changed the finishes on their cabinets.
The second issue I had with them was 3 days after I had written them a check for just over $4000 for cabinets, I went to buy paint and crown molding for the house, and they refused to accept the check for the materials. I admit I got embarassed by this, because I was there with my contractor and I knew the check would more than clear since it was coming from our rental house account.
Since these issues had been finally worked out, I was hoping the issues would finally have ended, but today, they maxed out their stupidity.
I ordered a single, sliding window to go above the shower in the bathroom of my house. It is a vinyl window to replace an old wooden one. The problem is that I need that window to finish the bathroom shower surround tile.
Well last week I called to ask them when the window would be in and I was told it would be there Saturday. Then Friday I was in the store for something else, so I stopped by the contractor desk to see if the window might have come in early. They tell me again it will be here tomorrow.
I go to pick up the window the first time on Monday, no window and I am now told it will be there Tuesday, the date had been changed by someone in the store.
So Wednesday I go to get the window, now for the third time, and am told the window is lost and we will not have another one until September 27th. Well without the window I can not finish the bathroom, and without the cabinets I can't finish the kitchen and I need some rent from this house coming it, so I am stuck without rent and with escalating construction labor costs and they say to me in the store, what do you want us to do about it.
I actually got so mad I saw red.
I just lost it in the store. I stood at the service counter and just got louder and louder until I am sure half the store knew what the issue was. I admit that was kinda the point of this, to ruin as much business for them as I could in person.
But as I was yelling at this asst. manager and he just kept saying what do you want me to do about it, I got madder and madder.
I left the store when the thought of going over the counter and stuffing this guy in a garbage can. For me to get to that point of anger, after all the work that I have put in over the year to control it, it scared me.
I came home, called the corporate headquarters and several Vice Presidents at their offices and homes (the internet and that information is a wonderful thing sometimes) and in a few hours I had the window in the store, but what bothers me is that I cant still get that angry over something that should not matter that much.
That really bothers me to get that angry.

Some of you may already know that I struggle with liking humanity sometimes. I love my country, but I see so much ignorance, intolerance and blatent sexisim, racisim, and selfisness that sometimes I really worry about this country and this world.

I rent houses and have my own business as well, and the rise of me first-fuck you attitude has really made me wonder where we are headed as a society.
Then something like Monday's bombing happen. There is no reason for an act like that, it is indefenceable.

Nothing prepares you for that shock, you see people there competing against themselves, trying to earn a goal that they have set for themselves, many running for charities and to raise money and goods for those less fortunate than themselves.

You, like I, have seen all the horrible picturs of the bombs blowing up, people being mangled and mauled simply because someone, somewhere, wanted to make a point by creating havoc at an event that is all about what the country is supposed to be about.

Runners are a strange bunch, if you do not believe me, find one and ask them, they will be the first to tell you they are strange. They get off on running 26.2 miles, and for many of those people Monday, this was the completion of a life long dream.

Someone full of hate, selfishness and stupidity decited to attack those people and all the others gathered around to cheer them on and support their efforts.

When I first saw the footage of the bombs blowing up, I got sad, then I got mad.

These people were doing nothing more than enjoying themselves. They run because they love it, the volenteers run the race because they love being a part of it. Many of them had their dreams destroyed wheather they were at the finish line explosions or not.

But while I sat and watched the footage, over and over again, I began to smile because of what I started to see. The act itself was that of a coward, but if you notice after the blast, there are no cowards in site.

You see runners, volenteers, National Guard members, police, doctors, nurses and EMT's running TOWARD the fire and smoke and danger.
This is not the first time we have seen this, 9/11 saw firemen and police running into a burning buildings and trying to get people out. Many of them died durring the event and many more will die over the years from illinesses that have come from the buildings and materials that were on fire.
But Monday, in Boston, we saw what makes this country great, it is the people who know that danger is there and run TOWARD it to try and help people who are hurt, bleeding and scared.
This country has lots of problems, but on the worst days, the days where you want to hide your head, we see the people that run TOWARD the hurt and bleeding.
If we had more of those kinds of people in the country and the world, the kind of people that know the danger and still go to help others no matter what, then we would be much better off than we are.
I want to think if I was ever in that kind of situation I would be one of the ones running TOWARD the danger to help others, but I really don't know if I would or not.
But after seeing all those people running to help, danger be damned, I want to be like that. You do not know what you would do until you are put in that situation, but you can be a person that helps when needed.
If everyone just found something they could do to help someone else once in a while we would be a little closer to the hero's we saw in action in Boston.

Actions speak to your intent, actions speak to your true character, actions show the world what kind of person you truly are and want to be.

No one is perfect, no one knows it all, but thinking you do know it all is dangerous to everyone involved.

Life changes. I recently had to go to Las Vegas to help take care of my mom who was sick while her husband was out of town. To many going to Vegas is fun, for me, with all the smoke in places there it is not a destination kinda place for me.

Anyway, my mom got better and her husband came home and I had a few days with some time to kill. I went to the Mandalay Bay shark reef and that was a big thing for me, because anyone that knows me, knows that I love sharks.

The three of us went to Freemont Street too and walked around. I had never been there before, and to be honest don't really care if I go there again, but I saw something down there that made me rethink some things.

There was a woman down there with a boy on a leash, yesh they were "performing" to get pictures taken and get paid. But the look in their eyes, was telling. It was genuine caring for the other person, you do not see that often anymore.

So I came home and decided that I wanted to change some things in my life to try and get that again.

What many of you who I consider friends may not know is the reason that I have not been out and about in the lifestyle for several years.

I met a girl online several years ago when I was still living in South Carolina. She lived in Alabama, and we talked and got to know each other over about a 8 month time frame.

We met in Atlanta one weekend, and got to kow each other better. I thought I learned a lot about her, she learned about me and we had a good time.

We continued our relationship online, on the phone etc, and then went to SouthEast Leatherfest in Atlanta that summer.

When she got there everything was peaches and cream. She wanted a Dom, I was that Dom, and then the weekend slowly dragged into hell. The connection we had just was not there, we were always a beat apart in our thinking. Well the weekend came and went and I chucked it up to a bit too much pressure etc and figured that it would work itself out in the end.

Three weeks later, I found out the real reason that the weekend fell apart, as she got married to another guy.

Over the next few months I learned that I was her kinky thrill as she was engaged the whole time.

That kind of betrayal really hurt me. I know I am a Dom that is not supposed to bother me, bullshit, I am human and I really cared for that girl. She was not just a piece of ass to me, she was a friend, lover and sub, well I thought at least.

So I blocked myself off from going to events, munches etc for several years and just tried to hide online.

Some of you may notice that I have changed my title from Dom to Switch over the last few days, it is not because I have had a total change of heart. I am still the same guy, but it is about being open to all the possibilities.

I am me, I am not a title, I am still the same peverted, kinky, Dom that I always have been at heart, but I am also open to a everything at this point.

Anyway, thought it was time to share a little about me and what I am trying to do.

Life changes. I recently had to go to Las Vegas to help take care of my mom who was sick while her husband was out of town. To many going to Vegas is fun, for me, with all the smoke in places there it is nto a destination kinda place for me.

Anyway, my mom got better and her husband came home and I had a few days with some time to kill. I went to the mandalay bay shark reef and that was a big thing for me, because anyoen that knows me knows that I love sharks.

The three of us went to Freemont street too and walked around. I had never been there before, and to be honest don't really care if I go there again, but I saw something down there that made me rethink some things.

There was a woman down there with a boy on a leash, yesh they were "performing" to get pictures taken and get paid. But the look in their eyes, was telling. It was genuine caring for the other person, you do not see that often anymore.

So I came home and decided that I wanted to change some things in my life to try and get that again.

What many of you who I consider friends may not know is the reason that I have not been out and about in the lifestyle for several years. I met a girl online several years ago when I was still living in South Carolina. She lived in Alabama, and we talked and got to know each other over abotu a 4 month time frame.

We met in Atlanta one weekend, and got to kow each other better. I thought i learned a lot abotu her, she learned about me and we had a good time.

We continued our relationship online, on the phone etc, and then went to SouthEast Leatherfest in Atlanta that summer.

When she got there everythign was peaches and cream. She wanted a Dom, I was that Dom, and then the weekend slowly dragged into hell. The connection we had just was not there, we were always a beat apart in our thinking. Well the weekend came and went I chucked it up to a bit too much pressure etc and figured that it ld work itself out in the end. 

Three weeks later, I found out the real reason that the weekend fell apart, as she got married to another guy.

over the next few months i learned that I was her kinky thrill as she was engaged the whole time.

That kind of betrayl really hurt me. I know I am a Dom that is not supposed to bother me, bullshit, I am human and i really cared for that girl. She was not just a piece of ass to me, she was a friend, lover and sub, well I thought at least.

So I blocked myself off from going to events, munches etc for several years and just tried to hide online.

Some of you may notice that I have changed my title from Dom to Switch over the last few days, it is nto because I have had a total change of heart. I am still the same guy, but it is about being open to all the possibilities.

I am me, I am not a title, I am still the same peverted, kinky, Dom that I always have been at heart, but I am also open to a everything at this point.

Anyway, thought it was time to share a little about me and what I am trying to do.

The power of speech is so often misunderstood, and in the US, it is overblown, underappreciated and at times a total farce.

The Chick-fil-A stuff is overblown and at the same time it shows the lack of understanding across the board in an election year, and the willingness to express your opinion no matter what.

The CEO of Chick-Fil-A was asked a question and he answered in his view. That is all that happenend. Was his view a surprise from someone who's business is not open on Sundays even today? I do not think so.

I live near a college that Chick-Fil-A has built a camp for kids. They pay for them to come to camp every year. Does his words diminish what he and his company does? Chick-Fil-A used to sponsor an LPGA golf tournament just south of Atlanta and the procedes of that tournament went to fund many things, including a complex of apartments with social workers that helped battered women and their children to get their lives back on track. Does his words diminish that?

I personally find nothing wrong with what he said. I also think he is wrong in his view, but that is both my and his right to disagree.

I think that his words are a valuable thing, they portray a huge portion of America and how they feel about the gay marriage question.

I also think that while I disagree with what he said, and I have voiced my concerns about the message to an executive at Chick-Fil-A that I know, I will defend his right to say what he believes.

Gay people should voice their opinions on the statement, but they should also look at the good the man has been part of. They have a valid point of view too, one that I happen to agree with, but some of the hate speech I have heard from the gay rights camp have actually made me very uncomfortable.

Freedom of speech is a vew tricky thing. You can say almost anything you want, but you must be ready for the results of your words.

Chick-Fil-A's CEO said something and now everyone must pick a side it seems. If you eat there you are a homophobe, if you refuse to eat there you are gay or at least gay friendly.

Has American politics really come down to what side of a chicken sandwich you stand on?

Do you think that the reason the story came out now is only because it is an election year?

Millions of people went and ate at a Chick-Fil-A yesterday to support their message, some people protested this, but the real question is why on both sides.

The CEO is a person, he has the right to say what he wants. He also has to take the flack if he says something that offends others.

But, if you are going to bash the man for his views, do not be surprised when others bash you for yours.

I think the Gay community missed a huge oportunity in this to come out smelling much better than they have. If this had been their response, just think how much traction in their fight for gay marriage it could have won.

"While we disagree with Mr. Cathy's opinion, this is America, he has the right to have his own opinion. When you look at the Chick-Fil-A company they have done  many things over the years to help families and children and while we disagree with his views about our goals, we would love to meet with him, talk with him and see if we can change his mind."

People would have read that and said wow, ok, well maybe I should look at my own view and perhaps change it.

Instead the mud fight that has ensued has overshadowed both sides, the good both sides have done for others and instead turned into a mass sales day for Chick-Fil-A and a reason for the right to hate the left even more.

So I guess business as usual from both sides, what an oportunity they both missed in this.

Do you ever have those days where you feel invisable?

A day where you feel you need to help someone, guide someone, or just offer a shoulder or ear, and they not only can't see it, but they actually try to blame you for trying to help them.

People need to realize that sometimes a friend is just trying to be a good friend and not trying to get into their pants.

I have always tried to be the kind of person that respected others views, life choices and tried my best to stay out of their business.
But in the last two days I have heard so many sob stories online and off that I really wonder why I should try to help anymore ever again.
Tonight, I had a chatroom friend tell me that she is taking in 7 kids from a lady who is dying.
That is a sweet thing to do, but, if you have trouble making ends meet with your life and your three kids taking in 7 more might not be the best way to take care of that.
I also had a guy come today to look at a rental house, who refused to leave until I rented the house to him. I handed him an application to fill out, he tore it up infront of me and threw it down, then said I can have your money in an hour.
I told him, no application, and I will not rent to you, and he went nutty on me. He stood on the front porch yelling at me saying rent this to me now, I want this house, I got the money.
Finally I had to call the cops, and after they were on their way he threatned to "gut you like a pig". I am not a small guy and I was not really worried about getting hurt since I had a piece of galvanized pipe in my hand, but I was like really you think you are going to get a rental house acting this crazy.
In the last two months I have met two women who were both unstable to say the least, who both proclaimed they wanted to be my sub. One was online one was real time, and all I wonder is what the hell set these people off.
I have met many good people into BDSM, but of late I am really wondering why I want to be associated with this bunch of people anymore.
I have trust issues, I already know this, so meeting someone I click with is already pretty tough. Throw in that everyone I meet of late is fucking nuts and I am really having a hard time caring about the "lifestyle" anymore.
It just seems that our open mindset is attracting way to many nutjobs of late for me.
I know this sounds judgemental, but at this point I no longer care, I try to be a good person, I try to help others out.
But at this point I think I need to be like so many I meet, the first thing they say to themselves is what can I get from this one.

Have I mentioned how much I hate snow?.....

This is my first journal entry and I have so much I could say.
Let me first start off by saying that BDSM is not a way for others to feel better about themselves by making others feel like less.
This is a relationship, just like any other.
I know that is trite and overused, but you know what, it is still the truth.
Secondly, I list myself as a switch, but that does not mean I am trying to get anyone to switch with me.
I started off in BDSM as a curious sub with my girlfriend. We both subbed to another, and learned it that way.  Over time, and with experience, I learned that I liked and felt more comfortable as the Dom.
That does not mean that if I met a great lady who was a Domme I might not give it a try, but it means that first and foremost I am me, not a title.
I am not so hung up on the roles as I am on the people. I like a person, not a role, and I go from there. Some may think that makes me wishy-washy, to them I simply say, the door is that >>>>>>> way.
I have an open mind about many things and how they relate to BDSM, pleasure, pain and all that.  That openmindedness allows me to see things in many different ways from different points of view.
If you want to know my view on something ask, but be prepared for what I might say.
Lastly, why am I on Collar Me, hmmmm, I wonder that same thing a good bit. I am here to meet like-minded people who share like interests. If I meet a great woman in the process great, if I make lots of friends online then also great. I have no real goal, I just enjoy not always being the kinkiest person in the room....lol

To be continued...............