Collarspace.com

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vtmaster

vtmaster - photo 1
vtmaster - photo 2
vtmaster - photo 3

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Friends:
HugsLovesKissesforbiddenfruit09Rayne13

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I am looking for a submissive/slave, ages 18 to 55. Physical appearance is not as important as the person inside, allthough long hair would be a plus. Intelligence is another big plus. The person must be open minded and willing to explore various styles. My interests are many and my mood can be mercurial, not violent mind you. I may bind you and tease/pleasure you, or I may leave you in a corner tightly bound until I decide to play. I have been a dom for about 16 years now. Flings are not really my style, but being male, I can be tempted into one. A LTR is possible for the right person. I have a very technicaly oriented mind and science is my religion. I love to keep up with the latest discoveries. I studied math and programming in college. I still dabble in both. My job is repairing and maintaining computers, which I find very satisfying. I also enjoy nature. Long drives in the middle of nowhere and fishing are my therapies when life gets my nerves frazzled. I love to read, and listen to music I am not going to bullshit you and pretend I'm rich or handsome. I work part time, and am considered working disabled. I have my share of baggage and expect the same in a sub/slave. My main baggage is rheumatoid arthritis. You would have to deal with what that brings, as do I.

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9/1/2017 10:56:14 AM
Well decided to finally update my journal after finding Collarspace was Collarme's  replacement.  Much water has gone under the bridge in that time.  Ups and downs in both physical and mental health.  I've been taking xeljanz for my R.A. and it's doing fairly well in treating it.  Lost my parent to "old age" a year and a half ago.  She was 89 and it was a fairly easy and quick passing.  I've been pretty well a hermit in the last few years and I think it's time for that to change somewhat.

2/27/2013 8:56:47 AM

Went to a private munch/play party last Saturday.  I had a blast as did all who attended.  The host came up with a kinky variant of chutes and ladders.  The subs all went home with well marked bottoms and backs.  I am very much looking forward to attending another one like that one. :)


2/22/2013 11:12:38 AM

well it's been over a year since I last wrote here.  New, to me, car.  More ups and downs in life.  Over all not a bad year.  The RA has been supressed to the point that it's progression is very slow. :)  Still working at the same place, fixing computers.  I had a nice 4 day vacation last summer driving up and down the Maine coast, 1100 miles total.  I have reconnected with the "like minded" group that I had a hand in starting.  North country social club, you can find it on, lol collarme won't let me post that site name.  It's foxtrot eta tango lima iota foxetrot eta, lets see if that gets edited out  Still unattached though.  Any female subs looking for a geeky smart Dom out there? :)


11/18/2012 6:28:03 PM

Feeling pretty low. Wondering why I keep trying. Why should I wake up tomorrow?
I have enough to live. I get up, eat, take meds, work, go home, and vegetate. I'm sick, body mind and soul. I'm so tired, tired of the struggle to survive. I feel so old, beaten, and broken. 50 years of life and 50 more to go. Why? why do I keep trying? I don't want much. Just someone to listen, someone to share the ups and downs of life. I can't be cured, but can seek succor. I yearn for solace. I yearn for peace.


10/19/2011 2:50:46 PM

Even better, I found out today that after treatment, I shouldn't spend time with groups of people.  How's that for a kick in the ass!?


10/14/2011 9:51:38 AM

Well I got back from my Rheumatiod Arthritis doctor awhile ago.  Seems that I'm now considered to have moderate to severe R. A.  This means going to a new level of treatment.  The new drug is administered by IV and takes hours to administer.  I get to do it again two weeks later, although the second dose is suppose to take less time.  Then I repeat every 6 months.  It's a sort of russian roulette though, I have a small chance of dying from the infusions.  Such is life.


8/13/2011 10:39:48 AM

Well been more than a week since my last entry.  Life goes on, it still hurts to think of my friend but, moving on.  Went to a computer trade show in Boston thursday.  Enjoyed it, especially since I won a wireless security camera.


8/2/2011 6:30:07 PM

One day your bitching about a friend. A week later you reconsile. A week after that, her husband calls to say she's dead. How fucked up is that?

I was having a great day, got a hefty tip, and at 11 or so I get the news. Sometimes between 6am and 11am she apparently died in her "sleep". It's too early to know what it was for sure.

She was over here just last night and made a down payment on what she owed me and promised to give me more tonight. She mentioned that she wasn't feeling well.

She is the fourth close friend of mine to die. The first was my best friend. We were 15. The one before today, was my classmate, my first love, and much later, my sub until she passed.

All in all there have been a dozen people that I know that have died so far, a couple of strangers, and one almost, car accident that I watched happen, that gave me flashbacks.

I used to joke, that with my family's longevity and stubborness, I'd out live all my friends. That line isn't funny anymore.

I don't want to die alone. If I do, at least no one will hurt from my death.

edit


7/16/2011 9:11:04 AM

Back, was down for a couple of days. Even computer techs have computer problems, corrupted video driver. I've spent most of the morning listening to Simon And Garfunkle, with lyrics. I realized, if someone wanted to understand who I am, just listen to their songs and read the lyrics.

Time to go fishing, have spent too many hours in front of this machine lately.


7/5/2011 8:28:02 PM

I really F**kn hate people!  From the idiots on the road to the politicians, local and otherwise.  The ones who are "suppose" to be friends.  The ones who are "suppose" to be looking out for your well being.  The dam greedy rich, who cry about class warfare when they are asked to pay more in taxes.  They can afford it. The poor can't afford reductions in services.  The well off have been actively waging class warfare against the poor since there has been an unequal division of wealth.  The morons on the road, who seem to think since they drive expensive cars, that the laws of man and physics don't apply to them.

If you're still reading ath this point, LOL,  at least the health is a bit better.  Got off a drug that had a nasty side effect.  The RA is fairly well controlled, to the point I took up fishing again.  Well to be honest I only drown worms, drink beer, and photograph my catches.  I catch and release.


5/4/2011 7:01:50 AM

Well once again, helping an old "friend" has turned into a case of being used.  Oh well it cost me but, I'm happier without that kind of "friend".  Time to make new friends, better ones.


4/19/2011 5:02:24 PM

Bout time I update this, now that I've crawled out of my den from hibernation.  Was a rough winter.  My ssdi is safe and my parent still lives, turns out it was all caused by Lyme disease.  I've dealt with physical and mental health issues during the winter, but nothing too serious.

I'm hoping, with the onset of spring, that I'l be more social and get out and about. RA and cold damp weather has a tendancy to reduce your desire to move physically or socially.  speaking of moving, time to get up and do so. :)


11/22/2010 7:08:52 PM
vtmaster

amazing how things can change so quickly!! 0 Comments

Journal Entry by vtmaster

4 minutes ago

One disaster averted. After two days of sheer misery, I finally talked to SSI people. There are two ways to avoid losing my disabled status. One, just don't make more than $12,000 a year. I just take a few days off, between now and the end of the year without pay and bingo, no worries. Sick isn't it?
The other way, SSI sends my boss a form to fill out. I guess the gist is, if he doesn't think he's getting full value out of my work, it changes how much I can make. Also sick.
One the sick parent front, she's feeling better but no diagnosis yet.


11/20/2010 5:47:54 PM

I don't know if I can survive lifes latest test.  I found out today thas my ssdi has been revoked.  Less than ten minutes later I get a call saying my parent is ill again, she had stroke like symptoms, but they said it was bells palsey.  I have power of attorney, so off to the hospital.
She tests positive for Lyme and My friend who knows the ssi system inside and out says I won't lose my ssdi.  I don't know if I can survive the stress.  I can't let my parent down, but I want to curl up in a corner and die right now.


11/2/2010 6:34:21 PM

PEOPLE,  dam I sometimes really hate people!!  You try to be nice, try to be reasonably, and what do you get with some of them?  You have to pry out of them, with a crowbar, what they promised you.  If you can catch them that is.  It's no wonder I'm turning into a niggardly old curmudgeon. (look them up if you don't understand them)  The thing is that's not what I want to be.  RA been acting up with the late fall weather, that doesn't help any.  Was/is a good one color wise though. I got some nice pics.


6/1/2010 5:51:55 PM

Once again my life has gone to shit.

Tears pour down my cheeks.

Snot runs down my nose.

My face drawn into a silent rictus.

Tendons drawn tight, to the point of snapping

A frozen scream of agony.

An expression that is but shadow of the pain felt.

The only sounds are of gasped breath through a constricted throat.

The emotional pain has rendered me mute.

My mind is shattered, ego squashed.

I've always picked up the pieces before.

I've always asked myself can I do it again?

 

Can I do it again?

from the universe of Mr. B's mind. Watch out for supernovas and black holes.


11/22/2009 12:00:33 PM
Spent friday with a young couple, that I've been chatting with.  Had a nice time, and are planning next get together.  I thank the two of you for that day.

10/21/2009 7:10:31 AM
Just got back from the doctor and good news.  My BP now down to 120/80 which is about what it should be. :)

10/19/2009 6:30:36 AM
Well I'm on vacation this week! :)  Was planned weeks ago.  Now if I just had a subbie play toy to enjoy it with me.  Any volunteers? :)  On another note feeling better both physically and emotionally.

10/11/2009 9:59:58 AM
thought I'd try a little audio. House of the rising sun by the animals.  I did it in one take, no special equipment used.

10/11/2009 9:50:02 AM

10/9/2009 6:05:06 PM
Well spent the last 24 hours in the hospital!  Chest pains.  Needles, electrodes, blood draws , blood draws, blood draws.  Xrays, ultrasound, stress test. started with a blood pressure of 200 over 130, they thought the machine was broken at first lol.  It was still 160/100 when I was released.  The good news, my heart is ok, bad news, 3 or 4 more drugs to take each day.  My medicine cabinet is starting to look like a pharmacopia.

9/17/2009 4:22:17 AM
I am now actively looking for a play partner and or sub/slave.  I'm not interested in an online relationship, but am willing to chat as part of the feeling out process.

9/9/2009 8:51:00 PM
Well it's final tonight.  My girl officially dumped me for a couple she's been hanging around with.  The sad thing is I had to find out that she was owned by this couple from a third party.  She didn't tell me until I forced the issue of being owned by them.

7/1/2009 7:42:30 AM

I'm a Dom and not a masochist.  I spend my days in pain of one form or another because of RA.  RA is a vicious sadist it strikes at any time and for little reason.  I did not volunteer for this. I did not give someone leave to cause me this pain.  There is no safeword for me and I can't run away.  RA shackles me with heavy chains limiting my movement.  Eventually RA will snuff my life out like a candle.  I could turn to the pain killers but living life in a fog is not a better one.  I suppose I could take the ultimate cure but, suicide is not for me at this time.  I'm suppose to be the strong one.  I'm suppose to be the one in control.  I am not, behind the facade is a scared and tormented soul.

Well enough of the self pity for one day.


5/27/2009 5:26:55 AM
Well It's been nearly 2 two weeks now and it seems that it is truly over.  Oh well such is life.

5/18/2009 6:29:33 PM
well found out today that I may be needing to change my availability.   I may be single soon.  We'll see how it works out.

5/5/2009 4:36:51 AM
Well again it's been awhile since I've updated this.  Happy cinco de mayo, which just happens to be my birthday.  Survived another year, a bit more gnarled and creakier though.  The RA keeps getting out of it's chemical cage now and again.  I shouldn't complain though, my mind is still healthy, and I have my girl to play with.  We've been together about 8 months now.  We are still interested in the possibility of another sub to serve us both.  Well time to go beat some computers into submission.  Part of keeping my mind healthy is working on computers 3 days a week.  Computers obey better than people . :)

12/20/2008 10:45:26 AM
     Well been awhile since I updated this.  I've been working disabled now for almost a year now.  Yeah I know june to december does not equal a year.  They back dated my disability to may 2007.  The guarenteed income is enough to pay bills so anything I earn beyond that is gravy.  That and the amount of stress that is relieved by not having to worry about bills has meant a major improvement in my life.  I can buy toys! and that being said I've found someone to help me play with those toys.
  She's been mine for about 3 months now,  she can be bratty at times but overall is a good little girl.  We don't get together as much as we would like, but have fun when we do.  We may be in the market for a third in the future.  She is bi and a switch, so a female sub would fit the bill.  Although she does have permission to find a male sub for her fun.

6/22/2008 7:21:54 AM
Wow got life changing news today!

I've qualified for diability.
As a few of you out there know I have rheumatiod arthritis.  I have mixed feeling about being officially disabled, but it gives me a safety net that I did not have before.

6/18/2008 7:10:18 AM
Just realized that I needed to update my profile.  Two years have passed and 25 pounds have dropped off.  Not that I tried to lose weight.  Will try to get updated photo's in here soon.

10/5/2007 9:55:15 AM
Yesterday I had an interesting experience.  I had a medical test done on me called an electromyleogram.  This involved an electrode being inserted into a muscle to record nerve impulses.  When the electrode was driven home it caused a most interesting pain/cramp.  The second part of the testing involved what I can only describe as a miniature cattle prod.  It only went up to 200 volts and could be adjusted.  The lowest setting was almost unfelt.  The highest setting would make my leg twich and jump.  This didn't really hurt but felt quite strange and uncomfortable.  It would have potential for electrical play.

5/6/2007 8:38:40 AM

A soul lost on the sea of reality
Adrift, free yet caged by his ability.

The storms of life toss and wrack his little ship. Its gunnels awash, seams split.
 
He bails desperately to stay afloat.
 The water he yearns to pour down his throat.
Life's bitter salts poison it
 Failure, disappointment and others petty shit.
 
Circling sharks of uncertainty and doubt prevents thoughts of getting out.
 
If he only had the courage to swim ashore
 To the islands of stability he'd seen before

But no they have all drifted out of reach
While he analyzes the possibilities of each

This is a work in progress, please do not redistribute.

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scarletforYou
 
 Age: 32
 Dallas/Houston, Texas