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Servillia

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Friends:
PlatosHeirManwhore69

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A charity case... has nothing to offer anyone.

Experienced submissive. Rude, Mean, disrespectful, fat, ugly and old, ONLY HERE TO LOOK AROUND FOR FANTASIES

Dealing with depression, one never knows when or what will trigger the mood. As a submissive, I am always trying to make sure everyone around me is comfortable and content happy isnt an option, since one person cannot make another happy. I deal with my own thoughts alone, all the time wishing for someone that I could talk to about what I go thru, someone that will listen and give advise without judging. Yes, I live with a man, who doesnt want or like to hear anything about anyones feelings. He just wants a companion, he says he doesnt want a dog, but he treats me as a pet. Try going day in and day out without speaking to anyone, and keep a good opinion of yourself. Try dressing nice, sexy, without getting anything said to you. How many submissives can live this way, and for how long. Life is all about making others content and comfortable, in silence and without purpose. Dying quicker everyday.

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4/21/2018 12:22:41 AM
so bored with this site... don't know why I keep coming back.  I may close my profile down soon... no reason to keep torturing myself with foolish nonsense, believing in fantasies. 

4/11/2018 5:49:41 PM
thoughts of serving in a submissive way have been going thru my mind all day.  Don't know why.  thought about putting on a collar tonight for a couple of hours and going naked in the house, once boyfriend leaves for work...  might do some rope ..I do miss the feeling of being bound in certain ways.  just thinking of doing it is getting my body reacting, I know an orgasm will come easy.
Bf left for work, I smoked a bowl, gave it a few minutes to set in, letting my body relax, only for it to be ready to feel. First thing to do was to insert a plug into my pussy, to feel some resistance against my throbbing cunt.   Going about my evening doing a few chores and packing my suitcase for the weekend; all along feeling the plug move inside me; pussy throbbing against it. Feels a familiar uncomfort..  having something inside me, without it or allowing it to come out.  After about 40 minutes, I needed to feel more....,   time for clothes pins on the nipples.  Now finding things to do, to move about the house the house, so my body has constant sensations.  15 minutes late, I took the clothes pins from my aching nipples, to allow them to recoop some.  15 minutes rest, time to put them back on now very sensitive nipples..... ooooohh....  as cunt throbs....  more is needed.. robe is now tied around each tit.. tight, while leaving the nipples clamped.  MORE...  nipples need to be cleaned... toothbrush, hot water and toothpaste.. brush nipples until red...  ooooh the stinggggg..... they are so raw now.. nice reminder for a couple of days... when I don't feel the sting or ache in nipples, time to wet them activating the burn of the toothpaste... pussy aching and throbbing... clit feels engorged.  To have an orgasm tonight will be explosive.. rope, clamps and plug will stay in until it is bed time. 



4/7/2018 9:24:43 PM
On my journey in loosing weight, I get moments of feeling feminine, curvy, and attractive; I welcome the feeling, then that warmth turns to heat that hardens my heart and mind, reminding me that it is only a fantasy and to appreciative of what I have that at least someone doesn't mind me being around for the moment.  The journey will continue, because one day, I want to feel sexy and be able to see it and hopefully gain some attention of being attractive and sexy. 

4/5/2018 10:49:39 PM
Today was pretty good.  Boyfriend actually noticed that I have curves again; since I have been working on loosing weight. It felt good to hear him acknowledge the change.  Then I impressed myself by completing an art project, really like how it turned out.  Now to finish another project.  I am proud of myself for working on my weight and accepting things as they are.  Silence is my new best friend.  Maybe once I get down to my goal weight, I will feel sexy and attractive again; hopefully before I am really too old for any type of pleasure. 

3/20/2018 9:13:54 PM
Worthless, not worthless, wanted around, but not wanted... confusing.. yes, everyday.
Bf isn't interested in having sex with me in any form, but he doesn't mind having other men use me.  Well, I got used today, yet bf got upset, but he knew it was going to happen.  Then to find out, the guy only fucks me because he doesn't have a female to fuck at the moment.. so I am just for a release.  Only to find out that he isn't attracted to me in any way, except as a pussy.  I should be used to being told that; after many years of being used by several men; all say it is the pussy and nothing more.  Guess my life purpose is to be a cum dump and as a domestic servant.  To have a real connection with someone, to have feelings, to be attractive/attracted to someone is not written for this girl.  Been trying to lose weight, let my hair and nails grow out, put make up on, and dress to be attractive, have all been a waste of time and energy.  Why exist???? 

3/13/2018 5:14:49 AM
Knowing there is a 4hrs drive ahead today; reminds me back when I had a Dom that liked long road trips.  It was exciting, he would do different things with me.  One time he bought a remote control egg; after a time of teasing me with it while I drove, he wanted to stop someplace to get something to eat.  We stopped at a fast food place, he told me what he wanted to eat, while I stood in line to place the order, he kept switching the egg on and off.. he laughed as he watched me squirm.  After teasing me so long, I ended up having an orgasm so strong it broke the egg.. no more fun..  at least until we arrived at the hotel.   
Todays drive will be uneventful, boring.. a private concert for me and I am the star... LOL 

3/12/2018 5:04:55 AM
As much as I like to browse this site and correspond with several good people; I feel that I must some how wean myself off of this site and a couple of others.  Been in this vanilla relationship for 8yrs (feels like and eternity) living pretty much a solitude life.  No matter what I try to do, I am getting further and further away from the lifestyle that I dreamt about for a very long time.  Feeling old and that means I cannot think the way I used too or have the desires I had when younger, therefore there is no need to try to pursue something that isn't supposed to be a part of my life.  I am glad that I had the experiences I have had the privilege of having.    

3/6/2018 1:02:14 PM
Going to start blocking everyone that takes a look at my profile a couple of times that never has anything to say...  Bitch is here. 

3/4/2018 11:39:32 AM
Wanting to feel and look sexy again, in my life.  I am on a diet, trying to lose some weight; the scale is moving slowly and clothes are starting to feel loose.  Yet, I don't see any changes, and by far, don't feel sexy.  I know that once I start to feel and look sexy again, I will be sexy and desirable to someone.  

3/2/2018 2:13:39 PM
Feeling down ...  remembering back a long time ago, how it felt to have desire to be with a man that I had respect for and the longing to serve him, to please him, to feel his touch, to hear his voice, to feel his desire for me.  Dream of having a man that I have respect for and to have the desire to do almost anything for him, and wanting to be at his side every minute of the day, to want to be his support, friend and most of all his lover.  To know that he would be there for me, as I would want and need to be there for him.  To feel safe in his presence, to know that he wants to keep me safe.   
Why didn't anyone tell me, that the older you get, the need for love is less important, and that opinions are not wanted.  To have someone in your life should be enough, without hearing how the other feels or thinks.  That once your are old and single, you are no longer wanted in the same way, as you were when young and attractive.  
As one grows old, does the need to please another ever go away, or do you just learn to ignore it.??? 

2/8/2018 2:52:01 PM
After a couple of months of not shaving my pussy, I finally did it again.  To feel the smooth skin, was nice and arousing.  This morning I followed directions of a Dom, to help me reach an orgasm.  Tried to set up the camera to record, to show that I know how to follow his instructions; but couldn't send it to him..  In front of the camera, I placed the clamps on my nipples, which made my cunt get very wet.  I laid back, spreading my legs wide to show all of my cunt to the camera. Using my fingers, I rubbed my clit, pushed them in and out of my hole, spreading the juices all over.  Then taking the magic wand to my clit, at the same time putting the chain of the clamps in my teeth.  It only took a couple of minutes, when my body exploded in a powerful intense climax.  Thank you Sir.
After taking a nap, I woke up wanting to have another orgasm, but since I don't have permission, I will save it for another day.

2/2/2018 7:07:25 AM
For many years I did not shave my pussy, because I am a submissive and knew that Dom's like the pussy bare.  Then, as being property for so long, kept it shaven.  Since I haven't been owned, and boyfriend shares me with others; one guy requested that I let my pubic hair grow out.  I let it grow out, he was thrilled.  Since he doesn't come over that often, I have been thinking of shaving it off again.  Why should I though.... I don't get used by any Dom's, and the others that do come over don't care one way or the other; it like they put their mouth there, so there is no reason too.  Can't make up my mind.
UPDATE:  Started to trim my bush, don't have thick enough hair on the top, so ended up shaving it all off...  Now totally bare, again.

1/29/2018 5:54:43 AM
Would like to get opinions on this....
Why would a man take another man's attention, sexual actions, when there is a female willing to do what he would like done?    

1/25/2018 11:54:38 AM
I must be really stupid or not worth anything.
Why would a man want a female around, but doesn't want to know how she is, how she feels, what her wants/needs are?  He may ask for her opinion, but really doesn't care what she has to say.  So WHY would a man want a female, and doesn't want any drama of any kind????? why doesn't he just get a dog and be happy with that. 

1/15/2018 11:54:01 AM
Orgasms are a wondrous thing; stress relief, calming, energy builder, attitude adjustment.
Yet it is very frustrating when you want to have an orgasm, yet no matter what you do, that goal orgasm just cannot be achieved.  

1/12/2018 5:17:26 AM
A new year, trying to be a new me...  I am on the road of losing weight.  It is so hard doing it without any type of moral support.  I do what is needed to keep bf content, but in the meantime, making hard to stay on track and eat the right things.  As with any diet or change in life, one goes threw irritabilities, emotional rollercoasters and physical changes; knowing that those things are not allowed, things are more difficult.  I am trying to make changes for myself, in the meantime, making sure everyone else is content, not letting them know the turbulent path I am on.   I try to think what it would be like having a Dom keeping me on track and giving me the moral support to keep me going, only to know the reality.. this path is to be taken alone.

1/11/2018 6:28:43 AM
Getting into the shower, washing my body, enjoying the sensation of the luffa on my skin.  As the water runs over my body, it awakens the nerves; when the jets hit the clit, my body tenses up and knees buckle.  Dropping the nozzle before falling to my knees, breathing deeply.  Was very surprised on how quickly an orgasm flowed thru this capsule. Time to build up the tolerance. 

12/15/2017 12:44:09 PM
another exciting weekend, sitting by his side in silence as he sleeps. 

12/15/2017 5:03:31 AM
Start every morning being woke up by Master getting ready for work.  I get up to fix his lunch and to see him off to work.  He very seldom gives me tasks to do while he is away; because he says I know what needs to be done.  After he leaves for work, I have time to play my games and to answer emails; but after an hour I head back to bed to feel some release.  I masturbate with my magic wand to go back to sleep.  In my mind, i can hear a Dom instructing me on how to masturbate and when I am allowed to cum.  I wonder if I actually had a Master, if he would want me to masturbate daily, or would I get punished for doing it without his permission.  That is something I will never know, so it will stay in my fantasies.  Another day in silence, yet the mind is screaming. 

12/11/2017 5:46:35 AM
Be a "good girl",  I am told by so many.  I am a good girl, it's just that nobody sees it or knows how much I have to be a good girl, not much choice.  I am a good girl in many ways, except for one major way (that men want);  I am not a slut or whore.. I am a domestic slave.  Sex is the reward I get when he thinks I need it.  

12/7/2017 12:05:36 PM
Been with him for almost 8 yrs; never have I felt so lonely. 
Each day as I start my day, as I walk by the mirror; at first I admire my long hair, the next time by, I admire my breasts.  But as the day goes on, my eyes start to clear, and all I see is ugliness and fat in the mirror.  Before he gets home, I have to put my hair in a ponytail and to wear long baggy shirts to hide my fat as much as possible.  Coming to this site gives me a little bit pride.  

9/29/2017 1:22:24 PM
The weekend is upon us, she is not permitted to touch herself or play with herself, no orgasm.  She is being punished.
She was instructed to put the benwa balls in and then a small plug to keep them inside and to make her feel full, then a crotch rope to keep all in place.  She could still use the toilet without having to remove anything.  The only time she could remove the rope, was when she was to sleep naked with her boyfriend. If he was to use her, or have someone use her, only then could she remove the plug and balls.  If they get removed, when she had the time, she was to replace them with washcloth shoved into her cunt.  She want to remain full to remind herself of what she was.. a fuck toy.

9/27/2017 10:55:05 AM
morning fantasy at naptime...
Master had bound each of her breasts, then her arms bound behind her back, he placed clamps on her nipples before laying her down on the table.  He spread her legs wide to spread her labia; he placed the magic wand directly on her clit. He then had her close her legs together, so he could bind them at the knees and ankles together; holding the magic wand in place. He then rolled her onto her side.  His instructions to her were, fuck the vibe, want to see her hips moving back and forth as she was fucking it. She was not to cum until she reached the count of one hundred, if she stopped for to long, the count started again.  He had a tree that the clamps were attached, pulling her breast upward, pinching the nipples tight, each time she stopped the clamps got pulled higher.  This took about an hour. When she did cum without permission, she felt the crop all over her body.  Master exploded his cum all over her face.

9/26/2017 5:15:14 AM
Many times I have been called "fake" or "player" and don't forget "flake". 
I have let it bother me to the point of automatically trying to prove that I am not any of those things; which in turn caused me to feel frustrated and more depressed, than I normally feel.  I have had to tell myself, that each has their own opinions and not to hold it to your own, they don't know me and are basing their opinions on a "word or how something has been worded".  Which has made me very bitter in general towards others.
I will not call someone fake or flake, because I DON'T know them, I DON'T know their way of life, or their kinks, or what kind of person they have in their mind.  Just because I don't meet up to their expectations; in their mind, I am fake.  I could label many people fake, flakes and player; from the opinions I have formed from what I have learned over the years, (which most of us do), but wouldn't be right, because it would be judging without really knowing.  The cyber world has made it alright, expected; to openly be rude, critized and degrade the person on the screen, people have become very insensitive of others.   With all that in mind, I wonder how many would be as rude and critical face to face with the same person. 

8/15/2017 6:05:18 AM
Giving myself some wanted attention.
Having long hair; something I have always wanted, has become my best asset.  Standing in front of the mirror, brushing my hair; I look at the color, the luster, and the waves cascading down my shoulders. With my hands, I stroke my hair, feeling the softness, the silkiness.  Pulling the hair threw my fingers, closing my eyes, imagining a Master doing this to me, allowing my body to relax. 
Gently stroke my face with my finger tips (eyes closed), feeling the softness of the skin around my eyes, cheeks and lips.  In my mind it is my Master caressing me.  Run my hands down my neck, over each shoulder to my breast.  I do like my breasts, another asset.  To cup each tit, feeling the roundness, the weight of each one, looking at the color variation from breast to areola and nipples.  Squeezing each tit in my hands, pulling outward causing the nipples to become erect. To imagine a Master standing behind my body with his arms wrapped around my body, cupping and pulling on them.  Feeling my mind start to leave reality floating into space. 
Letting my hands fall to my belly, to my hips and thighs; feeling the softness of my skin, the warmth of my hands as they travel over the large area of skin.  Imagining a Master whispering in my ear how soft and smooth my body is, how he loves to touch me and how caressing relaxes him. 
Feeling relaxed, yet attentive, my hands roam to my pussy.  Gently feeling the labia, how smooth and soft, velvety it feels.  Caressing, and gently pulling on my lips, feeling how the regain shape. Running two fingers between the lips, feeling the moisture, spreading it all over pussy.  Wishing it were a Master's fingers touching me, exploring my pussy, saying warm fuzzy words in my ear. 
Body feeling the need to have an orgasm.  Sitting on the edge of the bed, I place the magic wand on my clit, imagining a Master, telling me to keep my legs spread wide and not to cum until he commands it.  Of course within a few minutes, my body was shaking in release, getting the bed all wet. 

8/10/2017 2:38:31 PM
Stupid, I am.  Before getting myself off this morning, I put 3 benwa balls inside my cunt.  Using clamps on nipples and the magic wand on my clit, I was able to achieve a intense orgasm.  Took my nap, showered, got dress to go shopping; all the while forgetting about the benwa balls inside me.  As I was shopping I sneezed and one dropped.  I laughed at myself, forgetting about them.  As I walked about the store, the ball moved between my pussy lips, making me get wet all over again.  I bent down to get something from the bottom shelf, only for the other two balls to drop.  With all 3 balls now between my lips, as I walked, they aroused my clit.  I couldn't get my shopping done quick enough to get home to have another orgasm and to get the balls cleaned up and put away.  

8/2/2017 6:47:57 AM
A story for the men who like to beat a female,  don't believe in touch, emotions or a connection with a sub.
He hired her to clean his house and take care of errands for her room and board.
The first couple of weeks were to get her familiar in how he likes to have things done and by what time, his likes and dislikes; as well as getting to know each other some, having casual conversations.  But because he worked many hours each day, she spend much of the time alone, in her room.
One day it had been a very hot and humid day, most of her chores were done,  when she decided to relax a little in the Jacuzzi.  Since he was at work and no one was scheduled to come by, she decided to go nude in the Jacuzzi. 
Relaxing, listening to the radio with her eyes closed; she was interrupted by him.  He stood at the side of the Jacuzzi looking at her with a sternly.  She sat up, "you're home early" she said startled.  Without saying a word he turned to walk away; "get out of there and meet me in the living room" he commanded.
She got out of the Jacuzzi, patting herself dry, she wrapped the towel around her body and went into the living room. 
He was standing in the middle of the room with a hand behind his back.  She stood a couple of feet in front of him, "I will finish the chores.  What else do you need me to do?" she asked.  He took a step closer to her, in a quick moment, he snatched the towel from her body.  Pointing to the couch, "bend over" he commanded.  She looked at him confused.  "Bend over the arm of the couch." he commanded again as he pointed to the couch.  She stood there looking at him, with her arms covering her breasts.  With the T.V. remote in his hand; he moved behind her.  Using the remote, he puts it between her shoulder blades pushing her forward to the couch.  "I am not going to touch you with any part of me.  Now bend over." he told her.
She bent over the arm of the couch, placing her hands on the seat cushions, looking over her should at him.
"Don't look at me, count out loud." he instructed her.  Before she could respond in any way, she felt the sting of a flogger landing on her ass.  Another and another landed before she could move to protect her bare bottom.   "Bad girls get punished for not doing what they are supposed too." He said to her as he continued to flog her bottom, thighs and back.  
She tried to stand up to face him, only to be pushed back down by the remote in her back.
"if you want to continue to work for me and to be taken care of, then you will do as you are told and endure the punishments when you are bad.  I will not touch you at anytime, but you will do as you are told." He told her as he stood behind her looking at her red bottom and back; as his cock was straining to get out of his pants.   "Now do you want to say or leave?" he asked her. 
"This wasn't what was discussed. You didn't tell me that this was a part of working and staying here, Sir." she said as she tried to hold back her tears. 
"This is only a part of what I want to do to you" he said.  "Now do you want to stay or leave?" he asked again.
Feeling angry, hurt and confused, "what more could there be?" she asked.
"If you stay, you will find out." he said rubbing his cock over his pants.
"Yes, I want to stay.  I will make sure all chores are completed before relaxing, Sir. Sorry I took a break." she said crying, still bent over.
"Count" he commanded as he started to flog her again.
She counted twenty swats when he stopped.  She stayed still as she panted, trying to catch her breath and stop crying.  
"Stand up, face me." He commanded.
She stood, turned to face him.  He was holding his cock in one hand and some rope in another.
"You will wear this rope every day for two weeks, under your clothes when you run errands and naked when you are here doing your chores, even if I am here.  Only when your chores are completed and you ask for permission, will you be able to take the rope off.  Do you agree?" he asked as he held out the rope for her to take. 
"yes I want to stay" she said in a low voice.  She took the rope from his hands.  "I don't know how to wear rope Sir." She said looking down at the floor.
"I am going to instruct you on how to put the rope around your body." he said, using the remote to lift her chin up to look at him.
"Yes Sir." she said.
He instructed her on how to place a body harness on.  He would tell her when to pull the rope tighter, or where to place a knot.  Then he had her walk around, then crawl around the house as he watched.  He liked how the rope looked on her.  He continued to stroke his cock as he watched her move about.
"Come here" he told her, pointing to the front door.
She looked at where he was pointing and started to cry and remove the rope.
"Don't touch that rope.  Come here, stand with your hands on the top of the door. Spread your feet apart." he sternly commanded.
She did as he instructed.  She was confused, not knowing what he was about to do.
Before she could say anything, he started to flog her breasts.  She dropped her arms to cover herself from the flogger. 
"You want to leave?" he asked, waiting for her to get back into position.
"NO" she said as she raised her arms.   He flogged her until he was pleased with her responses and the redness of her skin. 
When he was finished flogging her, he turned walked over and sat in his recliner.  "Crawl over her." he told her.
She got down on her hands and knees, crawled over to him.
"Present your tits to me." he said as he unzipped his pants, taking out his cock.
She looked at him as she sat back on her feet and pushed out her chest.
"Present your tits to me." he said again.  She moved closer to him, pushing out her chest again, almost touching his knees.
"I want you to hold each tit in each hand, up to your chin and hold them there for me." he scolded her.
She did as he said.  She watched him stroke his cock.  He came all over her tits. 
"Don't wipe it off.  Go finish your chores." he said as he stood up.  "After dinner, the ropes can come off." he said as he stood over her.  "you will eat your dinner at my feet on the floor." 
She was confused, but didn't say a word as he walked out of the room.

7/27/2017 11:40:58 AM
As she stood in front of the vanity mirror naked, the nerves were surging threw her body.  She was nervous about meeting a new Dom.  Putting on her make-up, she thought about all the conversations they had and how his words and voice made her feel.   She took extra time doing her make-up, making sure it was done right, to enhance her eyes and lips.  She had picked out a mini skirt and loose fitting top to wear.  She thought about putting a bra on, because it made the top look better, and the bra pushed her tits up and together, giving her a nice cleavage.   She slipped the skirt up over her thighs and hips, making sure it was in the right position; bending over while looking in the mirror to see how much of her ass was showing.  The skirt didn't show much ass, but did show her pussy lips, if she didn't bend at the knees.  Pulling the top over her head, down over her breasts; her nipples were stiff against the light material.  She liked how the nipples and areola showed threw the shirt.   Back in front of the mirror, making sure everything was in place, she then brushed her hair, leaving it down, flowing freely.  She always liked her hair, thought it was her best asset. 
As she drove to the agreed meeting place, she felt her body tense up and her pussy start to throb. 
She arrived five minutes early.  Reaching down between her legs, she felt how wet her pussy had become.
She rubbed her clit and pushed a couple of fingers into her cunt.  She brought her hand up to her face to smell her essence and taste her juices.  She was ready for anything to happen, and hoped something did.
She watched the vehicles pulling into and out of the parking lots, watching for his car.  As the time grew closer, she rubbed her clit more, bringing herself to an edge, without cumming. 
It was twenty after the hour, when she received his call.  He wasn't going to show up. He had changed his mind.    She wept all the way home.

7/18/2017 10:54:12 AM
Today was one of those days, where some self torture was in order.
Bound each breasts tight 1/4 in rope, clamped clothes pins on each nipple, then taped the clothes pin to the tit. 2 clamps on each pussy lip, taping them to each thigh.  Crawled about the house on hands and knees; feeling the weight of each tit bound, not allowed to move freely, feeling the taped clamps on my thighs tugging at my pussy lips. After 10 minutes of crawling, it was time to brush the sensitive spots.
Standing in front of the mirror, using a firm toothbrush, vigorously brushed each nipple and clip until it felt raw. The wetness of my pussy, soon was making it's way down my inner thighs.  Walked about the house for a few minutes, feeling the pussy clamps rubbing against each other with each step keeping the clit erect. Returned to the mirror, to place toothpaste gel on each nipple and clit, to feel the icy hot sensation.
Laid down on the bed, knees up, feet spread wide, all pulling lips far apart, exposing clit and pussy hole. Brushed each spot again, renewing the raw spot and working the gel into the skin.  It burned and chilled at the same time; making my cunt throb and swell.  Placing the magic wand onto the clit, turned on low; I let out a scream of all the powerful sensations and exploded in orgasm in just 2 minutes. 
Before allowing myself to regain some normalcy, reached down to rip the tape from my thighs, only to yank the clamps with it; did the same to each nipple; bringing an orgasm back to the surface.  Had 3 orgasms before drifting off to sleep.
It's been a few hours since I did that to myself, I took it too far. My nipples ache and are raw, my shirt reminds me of how they have been abused. The seam of my shorts remind my clit of the abuse, and when I walk or sit, my pussy lips are bruised.  What a great way to be ready for a trip to the lake this weekend... might decide to keep them in this condition. 
Its the afternoon now, I have gotten myself of 3 more times, and have keep the sensations alive.. guess it is why I continue to want to cum. 


7/13/2017 8:40:27 AM
New story...  

She took the day off from work; she needed some time to herself.
She woke later than usual; she laid there stroking her hair with one hand as the other hand caressed her skin. She liked how soft her hair felt and how it felt to feel a hand stroking her head. She imagined a gentle man was stroking and caressing her.
Her body relaxed, feeling the smoothness of her skin, the warmth of her hand, the feeling of being touched. She wanted to feel more.
She took out some rope.  She bound her breasts, tying each tit separately. Taking a long piece of rope, tying it around her waist and between the pussy lips, securing it snug at the waist.  She liked how the rope gave her the feeling of being hugged, some self security.
She got dressed. Picked out a blouse that fit loosely over her chest. Looking at how the blouse fit over her tightly bound breasts; looked like she had implants. She pulled on a pair of jeans, once they were fastened, she realized how tight it felt over the rope; it would be too much sensations at this time. Taking the jeans off, she put on a mid length skirt, giving her some freedom. No panties or bra this day, she wanted to feel what she had heard about; all the sensations of the rope rubbing, pressure points, the tightness causing warmth and some pain the longer she is bound.
As she was out doing some errands and window shopping, she liked how the men and some women looked and sometimes stared. The rope between her legs, gave her more sway in her walk. All the sensations was making her so wet, she worried the moisture would go down her thighs, or leave a spot on her skirt if she sat. As she was browsing threw a department store, a man came up behind her, "Ma'am, please excuse my boldness, I must say that you are very sexy and it is hard not to watch or follow you. I find you very intriguing. I am married, so thank you for giving me a real fantasy girl to think about. Have a good day." he said to her, kissing her hand as he turned to walk away.  She couldn't stop smiling or thinking about her body and the rope, as she continued to do her errands.
She returned to her apartment to find the maintenance man in the kitchen. She felt frustrated that he was there, because she was going to strip naked to masturbate and to get the ropes off.  She felt this urgency to relieve herself.
He said hello and explained what he was doing and how long it should take him to finish. It was going to take him almost an hour to get out.  She couldn't think straight; all she wanted to do was get herself off. She went about the apartment as if she were doing things, then she would sit for a moment, getting back up, watching over him for a bit, then back to pacing the floor; hoping he would get the silent message she wanted him gone.
He couldn't help himself from watching her move about the apartment; which slowed his work down. He knew he would be there longer than he told her. He wanted to touch her, fuck her. For this moment, he wanted to own her.
She stood over him, "how much longer?" she asked, trying not to sound annoyed. "sorry ma'am, it's not cooperating, it will take a little longer than expected. If I don't get this done, you won't be able to use your sink." he told her, trying to sound convincing and important. "I really have some things I need to get done without any interruptions." she replied.  "Yes, Ma'am, I will get it done as fast as I can." he said as he turned working.
She went into her bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, her hand reaching down between her legs, she wanted to feel how wet she had become and to check the tender spots.  As her fingers traced the ropes, smearing the wetness all over her pussy; her eyes closed in arousal. She drifted off into another space as she felt back onto the bed.
Not aware of how much time had past; she felt that she was being watched. She opened her eyes and sat up quickly seeing the maintenance man standing in her doorway. He was stroking himself on the outside of his jeans. "keep doing that, it is sexy." he told her in a gentle voice. She put her hand back on her pussy, keeping her skirt shielding herself. "Lift your skirt, show me how your touch yourself." he instructed. She slowly lifted her skirt, revealing the rope tied around her. Shocked, yet very aroused, "take off your blouse." he commanded. Without thinking, she took her blouse off, exposing her bound breasts. He smiled walking over to her as he kept a hand on his cock, as if to restrain it from jumping out.
He stood nose to nose to her, "Did someone tell or ask you to do this to yourself?" he asked.  "No Sir" she spontaneously responded. "Why did you do this to yourself?"  "I needed the sensations and release." she said in a low voice, as if she were embarrassed.  "Have you done this before, pretty girl?" he asked as he lifted her chin to look at him. As she looked up at him, he could see that she wasn't the same person that first came into the apartment; he saw a submissive little girl who needed a Man to guide her.  "No Sir" is all she could reply lowing her eyes.
"Will you allow me to guide you, help you achieve that release you are in need of?" he asked.  She hesitated before looking him in the eyes; "Yes, please be gentle." she requested.
"kneel down" he instructed as he sat on the edge of the bed. She knelt down, keeping her knees together, placing her hands together in her lap. "Put your hands on each thigh and spread your knees. It will be more comfortable." he said watching her patiently.  She did as he said. He asked her how she knew to use rope and about what other things she liked to do to herself.  They talked for some time, getting acquainted and at ease with one another.
"I want you to crawl for me. Doing so will show me that you want to submit to me." he said.  She didn't give it much thought, she crawled into the living room and back to the bedroom, stopping at his feet. "Stand up." he commanded. Once she was standing, he pulled her skirt off. "Bend over, placing your hands on the bed." She looked at him, wondering what he was about to do. She didn't want to ask, she wanted things to just happen. 
He traced the rope around her waist, following it down between her ass cheeks. "Very nice." he said slapping her ass.  She let out a small cry. Without saying a word to her, he gently pulled the rope apart, giving some space and revealing her nice pink ass button. He gently pushed the head of cock into that button. She whined and started to pull away from him. "No you don't" he scolded, taking hold of her hips as he shoved his cock all the way into her ass.  She screamed out, feeling the invasion of his cock, stretching her virgin ass.  Tears streamed down her face has he fucked her ass slow and deep.  The pain eased up the more he fucked her and she felt the sensation of an orgasm building within her. As he continued to fuck her ass, he started to tug on the rope between her pussy lips; almost lifting her feet from the floor. He fucked her until he was close to exploding.
He pulled out from her ass, to have her turn to face him. He pushed her down to her knees. pulling the ropes from her breasts, she cried out. He knelt down to place his cock between her tits to finish his orgasm. He came all over her tits.
"Lay down on the bed, knees up to your chest." he instructed her.
She was laying on the bed, with her knees up to her chest, the rope was pressing hard into her pussy. He repositioned the rope to be on each side of her clit, pulling back the clit hood. He positioned himself at her clit, holding her legs in place, he began to suck on her hard swollen clit. Several minutes passed bring her to the edge. He finger fucked both holes, as he sucked the clit. She finally exploded, screaming out, as her body shook in climax.
He let her lay there to regain herself. "Take off the crotch rope, shower, and then present cleansed body to me."  He smacked her thigh and kissed her belly before extending his hand to help her off the bed.

6/22/2017 6:02:17 AM
fantasy written with sadists in mind. 
She was asleep, when Sir woke her by taking a fist full of her hair, pulling her onto the floor.  Half awake, she knew to kneel and open her mouth.  He fucked her throat for a little while.  He then drug her by the hair into the dungeon.  He tied her to the spanking horse.  He fucked her ass before inserting a large plug.  He then warmed her skin, whipping her with the flogger, until her body was glistening pink.  He used the cane on her ass, thighs and tits.  Each time she would scream out in pain, he would put the head of the magic wand on her clit until she started to moan and squirm.  When he could tell that she is close to having an orgasm, he would start the caning again.  It was when she went silent, that he filled her cunt with several ben-wa balls, and fucked her throat until he exploded.  He told her not to lose any of the balls and to stay quiet.  He left her tied down, as he left to shower.  

6/21/2017 2:26:03 PM
Did my morning monthly self torture session today.  
Bound each tit, clamping each nipple, put a crotch rope in place, then watched the morning news and checked emails for almost an hour before teasing clit with magic wand for about 5 minutes... count of 10 on clit, count of 10 off clit.   took a 10 minute break before doing it again..  by the 3rd time doing it.. I had an orgasm by the 4th time.  Took a fifteen minute break before putting the magic want on the clit again as I fucked my pussy with the dildo.. released screaming out in orgasm. 

6/6/2017 10:51:06 AM
It's been two years since I was released, the first year was very difficult for me, after having a routine of  doing things; felt very lost and alone for the longest time.  Each day has gotten better for me, learning how to go about each day without a routine and someone to answer too.  Some days are still bad mentally for me, feeling lost, not having anyone telling me what to do, what they expect, and just having the reminder of what and who I was; no longer that same person.  As each day goes by, the need to submit, to serve and to please is disappearing; now just taking up space. Learning how to accept doing things on my own without approval 

5/19/2017 2:09:58 PM
Why would a submissive agree to be with a Dom that critizes her in everything she is and does??  what kind of relationship could be built from that, how long could it last and the long term effects on her??  it must be okay to tear someone down physically and mentally for one's pleasure to throw her out later because she no longer has any reactions to him. 

5/19/2017 6:38:41 AM
so often this girl gets asked if she masturbates daily and what does she think about while masturbating.  the answer is yes; every morning before going back to sleep for a couple of hours.  Masturbation is this girl's sleeping pill, plus it helps with her anxiety. She doesn't think about being fucked or eaten; this girl thinks about what a Dom would be telling her to do, what he wants to see and what he expects her to do and the torture he will do to her if she doesn't perform the way he instructed.  The orgasm isn't always a great one, but it does what is needed to sleep... the great orgasms come from having the permission and instructions of a respectful Dom.  this girl will continue to fantasize and do what is needed to keep the built up frustration to a minimum. 

5/16/2017 5:06:40 AM
this is one of the best articles I have read in a long time about the differences of a vanilla relationship vs a D/s BDSM relationship. after reading it, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I am a submissive and always have been.  yes, there was a time I doubted who and what I am. 
http://www.kinkweekly.com/article-guest-author/vanilla-genuinely-submissive/

5/5/2017 4:16:33 AM
part 5 incomplete story

Sir leaned close to the waiter, "What do you think? What would you like to do?" Blushing the waiter looked at Sir shocked. "Think you are a lucky man Sir to have a sexy woman. If I had a woman like that I would be having sex all the time." he whispered as he stared at her.  "Meet me in the parking lot, you may bring one person that wants to watch" Sir told him.  As he took her hand and lead her to the parking lot.

When they got to the car Sir had her kneel down, placing her chest on the seat. Sir lifted her dress to her waist, baring her bottom; he pulled the plug from her ass. "He will fuck your ass, but is not allowed to leave his seed there. You will thank him and tell him how good it felt to you." Sir instructed her before the waiter came out.  "Yes Sir, thank you Sir for allowing your girl to serve another." she responded. 

In just a moment the waiter came to the car with another man about his age. The waiter had a big smile on his face and his friend looked a bit nervous.  "You may touch any part of her, you may fuck her ass, not her cunt. When you are ready to cum, she wants it on her face, not in her mouth. If your friend wants to jack off on her that is fine as well." Sir instructed the men as he rubbed her bottom, making sure they was watching.  The men moved closed to her, the waiter looking around before he knelt behind her.  His friend moved to the opposite side of her from where Sir stood to observe.  The waiter caressed her bottom and thighs, running his hands up the inside of her thighs, feeling her wetness. He traced the rope around her body; she raised up just enough for him to feel her bound breasts.

Sir watched how eager the waiter was, he was containing himself from going too fast. Sir could tell that he could cum as soon as he put it in.   When he felt her bound breasts, he was already fucking her crack, sliding past the hole. Sir put his hand on the waiter's shoulder, "slow down son, she really wants to feel you and have your cum on her face.  You don't want to disappoint her, do you?"  This distracted the guy long enough to calm down to fuck her.

Waiter took hold of his cock guided it into her ass. He slid in slowly, once he was all the way in, he pounded her ass several strokes.  As he pulled out of her as, Sir had her by the hair, turning her around to receive his cum.  He let out a grown as he shot his cum on her face, coving her nose, cheeks and lips.  His friend came right after, unloading his cum all over her mouth and neck.  She looked up at both the men, "Thank you for giving me your cum,  I am happy to have pleased you both. It felt really good being fucked."  Both men straightened themselves, thanking Sir numerous times.

Sir shook their hands then gave her bottom a good smack.  "Get in the car." he commanded her. The men walked away.  She lifted her hand to wipe the cum from her face; Sir quickly slapped it away.  "You are to wear their cum until we get back to the cabin." Sir scolded her.  He gave each nipple a hard pinch before closing the car door.

On the way back to the cabin Sir keep her nipples at attention and he would move the knot on her clit. She would moan and whimper.  She was having trouble sitting still, several times gave her bare thighs a good smack.  Her thighs were stinging bright red by the time they arrived at the cabin.  Sir opened the car door, helped her from the car, then pulled the dress off her body. "Down" he commanded, pointing to the ground.  She got onto all fours, crawled behind Sir into the cabin.

Sir went straight into the bathroom, she followed, stopping at the doorway.  Sir motioned for her to come to him and kneel upright.  She moved to the spot. Sir gave each breast a couple of good slaps, pinched the nipples before he pulled the rope from each one.  She cried out in pain from all the stimulation., the sting, the rush of blood from her breasts, then the heaviness as they fell.  As she was crying out, Sir started to urinate all over her face and chest.  She closed her eyes and put her head back, feeling the warmth run down her body.  

Sir then had her get into the tub and started the water. She stood in the middle of the tub, waiting for Sir to give her a command on what to do.   He got undressed, stepping into the tub with her. He sat down having her sit between his legs.  He washed her from head to toe; all the while the robe harness is still on.  He allowed her to wash his body only using the body sponge.  When they got out of the tub, she dried his body first.  Sir lightly dried her body, before he checked the rope, tightening it up. He knew the water and several hours moving about would loosen the rope.  She gasped as the knots pressed into all her sensitive areas.  He wanted the rope to be the only thing she wore for the time they had together.


5/4/2017 5:38:58 AM
part 4 incomplete story

Sir  didn't allow her to put the dress on until they were at the car.  Giving her nipples a good pinch and rechecking the knots, before helping put the dress on.  Sir looked into her eyes, "I will order for both of us, you will sit still while eating.  You know how to sit and I expect you to do so.  I will punish you in the parking lot if you are bad. "  He could tell that she was in a trance state, she is his puppet.

On the way to the restaurant, she kept her legs spread apart; keeping the knot tight against her clit; Sir would reach between her legs, pat her pussy a few times and did the same to each tit.  The only a sound of moaning or whining came from her.  She had no voice of her own.  Sir was pleased and felt the excitement and anticipation of the moment and how well she was responding to him. 

Arriving at the restaurant, Sir  slid a couple of fingers into her pussy, moving the benwa balls, causing her to moan and closer to having another orgasm.  He didn't want her to cum right this moment, but wanted her to be on the edge.  After helping her from the car, he turned her around, pressing her body against the car. "Stay quiet, push your bottom out to me."  She felt Sir's body against hers as she pushed her bottom out. Sir pulled up the back of her dress and pushed a small plug into her ass.  "Want you to know I will be there again soon, Don't drop it." he said pushing it in as deep as possible and giving her a good smack on her ass.  He turned her to face him, giving her a deep passionate kiss, taking her hand, lead her into the restaurant.  They walked slowly, she  couldn't walk too fast, in fear of dropping the plug or having an orgasm.  Sir would play with her, taking a couple of steps quickly, pulling her along.  She would sound and look like a toddler trying to keep up with an adult; making Sir laugh aloud.

They sat in a booth, on the same bench.  Sir checked to make sure her dress was not under her and that her knees were apart.  Plus giving her pussy a squeeze; pinching her pussy lips together.  She could sit still for only a few minutes at a time; she would rock side to side, or lean forward lifting her bottom off the seat, to leaning back to do the same thing.  "After I place our order, we are headed to the car for a moment." Sir whispered sternly into her ear. 

When the waiter came to the table to take the order, Sir was pinching her pussy lips together, in rhythm or his words to the waiter.  She did her best not to show any reaction that the waiter would see or let out any sounds.  Sir would at times pinch really hard, causing her to gasp or whimper some.  He would give her a stern look, then go back to talking to the waiter; making casual conversation too.  By the time he was done talking to the waiter, she had tears in her eyes and was breathing heavy.  Sir showed his hand to her, it was covered with her juices.  "Lick it off." he commanded.  When she finished licking his hand clean of her juices, Sir pulled her by the hand out to the parking lot.

Sir pulled her across the parking lot to the car in a hurried pace.  Before they reached the car, she had her hand on her bottom, holding the plug from falling.  Sir opened the car door, pushed her down pressing her chest into the seat, legs out of the car.  Sir pulled his belt off, using the tongue of the belt, he landed several smacks on her pussy, and then several sharp slaps on each ass cheek.  She was crying, "I will be good Sir, please, I will be good and obey, Sir." Before she could saying anything else, He shoved a larger plug into her ass.  "I bet you don’t drop this as easily. Get up and be good."  With a tissue, Sir wiped her face off, gently kissed her forehead, taking her by the hand, lead her back to their table. 

As soon as they returned to their table, the waiter was there. Looking over at her, the waiter politely asked "is everything alright ma'am?"  She smiled as she looked up at him; "Yes, everything is great. Thank you for asking."  Giving her an awkward smile, the waiter left.  Sir leaned into her, "You are a good girl." giving her a kiss on the cheek.

A minute had just passed, when the waiter was returning with their food.  He was smiling ear to ear.  After putting the plates on the table he asked, "if there is anything you need, please let me know. " His voice sounded as if the questioned he asked had more than one thing in mind.  Sir smiled at him, "Thank you." waving the waiter off.

As they ate, Sir tried to have a conversation with her, but he couldn't get much of a sentence out of her.  She was trying very hard not to move, except Sir kept her distracted by doing different things to her.  A couple of times, Sir almost had her having an orgasm, until she almost choked on her food.  He then allowed her to finish her food without any more distractions from his touch.   At the end of their meal, the waiter was prompt on attending the table. When he left to take the dishes away, Sir told her "you need to ask the waiter for a hand towel and cleaner, to clean your seat off. It wouldn't be right to have them clean your bodily fluids." as he had a big smile on his face.  She felt embarrassed and ashamed, Sir was punishing her.   The waiter returned to the table, "is there anything else I could get for you?"  She shyly looked up at the waiter, "yes please, may I have a clean hand towel, I need to clean the bench off."  Looking confused the waiter asks "why"?   Feeling her face blush, "I had an accident and need to clean it."  Without asking anything else, the waiter turned to retrieve a towel and a spray bottle of cleaning solution.  Sir gave the waiter his card to pay for the meal, so he would give them space for her to clean her mess.  Sir got up from the bench to allow her to slide out to clean the bench.  As she slid across the bench, she left a trail of her juices, so she had to get up and out of the booth to wipe the bench off.  As she was bending over to reach every part of the bench, wiping it down; Sir looked over to the area the waiter went to.  The waiter was standing where he could watch what she was doing; he had a good view of her body and the rope going between her legs.  Sir saw that the waiter was aroused.  When she stood up from cleaning, the waiter arrived with the receipt, blushing and almost speechless


5/3/2017 4:16:22 AM
part 3 incomplete story

They laid close together on the floor.  They talked for awhile and laid there silently for a time. Sir would caress her. She felt at peace with him, she was in another world with Sir. There wasn't anything she could think of at that moment that she wouldn't do for or with him.  As he touched her body, he could tell that her entire body was a bundle of nerves, and could see that her mind and soul were almost totally his. He could tell that she was in sub space deep and wanted to keep her there.

Sir got up to get them something to drink.  "Need to keep you hydrated, more to come." he said laughing.  She was so pleased to see Sir happy. 

"Sir, may this girl go to the bathroom, need to pee." she asked shyly.  Sir smiled,  "yes you may go, but the rope stays in place.  Crawl." 

"Yes Sir." she answered as she crawled to the bathroom.  Each step she took, the rope moved. She had some small rope burns in a couple of areas, but they were in the sensitive areas.  It was hard to pee at first, and the rope was soaked.  Before she could finish peeing, her cunt and clit were throbbing; she was going to have another orgasm.  All she could scream out "SIR" as her body orgasmed, she had no control. 

As Sir got to the door way, he could see she was having an orgasm.  He was pleased to see that she was now at his mercy.  "Did you have permission to cum?" he asked in a stern voice.

"Sir, I tried to ask, let you know." she paused, took a couple of deep breaths,  "No Sir, I did not get permission to cum." she continued in a calm low voice. 

In a stern voice, " Crawl to the foot of the bed, keep your head to the floor, put your hands on your back and wait."

Sir went to his bag to get a set of benwa balls, more rope and the magic wand.  With her in position at the foot of the bed, Sir bent down, pulled the rope to one side to push the balls into her cunt.  " Kneel up." he commanded.  She knelt up, Sir moved in front of her, tying each tit separately tight, making them instantly change colors.  Then Sir pushed her head to the floor, moving behind her.  Sir separated the rope at her anus and pushed his cock deep into her ass in one shove.  She was slippery wet from cumming several times already, Sir had no problem sliding into her tight ass.  In several deep pounding strokes Sir released his seed. 

With her head pinned to the floor, tits pressed against the floor causing pain, and the balls making her feel full, and the knot at her clit; all were taking her deeper into a space unknown. When Sir unforgivingly took her ass, she exploded  into orgasm and blacked out.   She regained sight when Sir was stroking her head.  "Are you with me girl?" he asked in a calm voice.  "Yes Sir" she softly answered.

Sir had her sit up so she could drink some water.  He sat with her as she recooperated discussing what they shall do to get something to eat.  Have to keep their energy up. They agreed on going to a local café.  Sir readjusted the ropes on each tits, didn't want them too too tight for that length of time, but didn't want them removed.  He checked the areas that had some rawness.  Sir tossed a dress to her to wear out.  She looked at it. It was a new dress Sir got for her; it covered everything needing to be covered in public, yet low enough on the top and short enough to tease. 

She helped Sir dress, per his wishes.  He likes to watch her twist, wench, whimper now and then from the rope. Being in public was going to be interesting, since she was already a ball of ultra sensitivity.


5/2/2017 8:34:26 AM
part two of the incomplete story from 5/1

 When he saw her reach the peak of her orgasm, he stopped, pulled his hand from her pulsating cunt. 

"Good girl, now get on the floor, lay on your back, bend your knees up, feet planted on the floor, hands behind your neck.  Stay that way."  Still trying to catch her breath, she moved to the floor, got into position.  Sir watched as she moved about, doing as he wished.  He was pleased with her most of the time, she was always obedient; what pleasure that brings to the soul. 

Once she was laying still, he stood over her, looking down at her.  "What kind of wonderful things can I do to you, or have you do for me?" he said smiling down at her.  "What a beautiful site to see, such an obedient submissive.  I am going to get our things from the car, you are not to move.  Think about my touch, how I touched you in places no one has.  Think about the orgasm that I gave you and the orgasms yet to come."  he said to her before moving out the cabin.

She closed her eyes.  She could feel Sir's finger tips tracing her body, feel his closeness, his attention to her every move and breath taken.  She could feel the arousal building within her again.  Taking a deep breath, she realized she was moving her hips, her pussy was throbbing and wetness was trickling down her crack.  She opened her eyes to see Sir squatting between her knees, looking intently at her.  "Good girl." he said smiling, as he stood up.

She sucked on the sponge still in her mouth; she drank on her own juices.  Tasting herself; as she has many times; triggered her desire to feel Sir's touch.  Tasting herself from the sponge, for some reason made her body react differently than the other times tasting herself.  Usually from Sir's cock, fingers, lips, or toys, but from something that she herself soaked and then placed into her mouth to hold, to be gagged.  It was arousing, it was stimulating the mind and soul.  She knew now, Sir was going to deeper than he ever has before.  The thought of this made her feel anxious, excited and aroused all at the same time. 

Sir came back from getting something from his bag.  He had a crop and some rope. 

Sir could see her pussy a bit swollen and wet with arousal. Using the crop handle, he slid it between her pussy lips, sliding it up and down.  A few strokes in, she started to raise and lower her hips, inviting the rubbing.  She moaned, as she felt the rough hand. She was very close to another orgasm, a few more strokes.  Her body shuddered as she let out a loud moan. Before she could acknowledge anything, she felt the sting of the crop land on her sensitive pussy.  Sir landed the crop several times on her pussy lips, making them swell and redden.  She had tears in her eyes, but she wasn't crying; Sir knew she could take much more than that.

"What a good girl you are. Did you like that?" Sir asked squatting between her knees, looking at her face as his hand gently stroked her pussy.

With blurry eyes, she looked up at Sir nodding her head yes. Her head was spinning. 

With his hand out reached, "Sit up. Open your mouth." 

She took his hand to sit up. Opening her mouth, Sir took the sponge from it.  Sir gave her a deep passionate kiss. She loved to kiss, especially receiving kissed from Sir; he knew what kind of kiss could make her go weak. 

Sir gave her time to regain her strength, to be able to stand.

He had her stand.  He put a rope body harness on her, placing knots in places that will arouse or remind her with a little pain.  Sir wanted to keep her body on edge.  He pulled the band from her hair, letting it fall. Placing a blanket on the floor. 

"Undress me, my girl.  Then I want you to use your hair only to trace and caress my body. Use your mind, how you can arouse me, make me respond to your touch."  Sir instructed.

She undressed Sir with care, kissing his skin as it became bare. Folding each item and placing them on a stool close by, she would return kissing the area she just left.  As she moved about, the rope would tighten or rub in different areas, keeping her mind swaying from what she was to do, to what she was feeling.

Once naked, Sir laid down on the blanket, on his stomach; he wasn't going to make it that easy for her to see his arousal, plus he was going to enjoy all of this.  She got down on her hands and knees beside Sir's body, tossing her hair over her head. It landed on his back, he flinch a little. She brush his back up and down a few times before moving down his legs.  She moved moderately down his legs, watching for any reaction from Sir; his body, skin or his breathing. She wanted to please him and really did want to tease and arouse him. She reached his feet. He twitched, she smiled. She did it again; he moved more. She found out he is ticklish. This made her laugh.  "Don't stop there." Sir snapped.

She moved up the other leg, stopping between his legs.  She wanted to tickle and tease his balls and ass. She saw him tense up a little, then relax.  With her hand, she took hold of her hair to stiffen the bunch, using it like a paint brush on his crack and balls. It wasn't long, she had to move from there; sir was getting uncomfortable; he was hard.  She moved up his back, stopping at his neck, slowly tracing it. Sir let out a sigh, she smiled.  Sir then rolled onto his back.

Taking hold of her hair, Sir pulled her face to his, kissing her; "keep going, you are doing good." he whispered.

She moved down each arm, before moving to his chest.  His breathing was speeding up some.  She was enjoying seeing Sir reacting and enjoying what she was doing; but she wanted to kiss his body, caress him with her hands.  By the time she moved to his feet, the ropes were really distracting her. She either wanted to readjust or remove the rope. She was confused if it were the pain or the pleasure it was causing or was it knowing she was pleasing Sir; it was all of it.  She moved to his groin. She moved slowly, making sure the hair stroked the sensitive areas and areas she knew would get some type of reaction.  It wasn't long, before his cock was stiff and pre-cum coated his head. She wanted to lick it off.  "Sir, may I please taste it?" she asked.  "No" Sir replied as he grabbed her hair, pulled her up to his face.  "Straddle my stomach"

She moved over him; this made the rope and knot tighter against her clit and anus.  "Now with your hips, move them as if you were fucking someone. Not on my body, above my stomach. I want to see. Yes, you are to cum when you feel like it." he told her.  She moved her hips forward and back, she felt the knot rope moving against her clit. But she also felt the rope moving her breast and the crack of her ass.  Again confusion of pain and pleasure. Sir reached up, pinching her nipples, gripping each tit.  She was moaning, her head back, Sir could feel the heat and moisture between her legs. Sir pinched down harder pulling her tits from her body; she exploded in orgasm instantly.  He let go, letting her fall upon him.


5/1/2017 11:37:31 AM
Can a submissive live a life alone?  can a female submissive survive on her own?? 

5/1/2017 11:26:58 AM
short incomplete story....

Sir called his girl, told her to prepare herself for him and for a short road trip.  She got excited, wet, knowing she was going to spend some time with Sir. 

In her preparation for Sir, she gave herself a good cleaning, a douche, an enema, clean shaven.  She put a small bag together, a pair of panties, a teddy, and a dress and shoes.  She dressed in a short skirt and a low cleavage top and sandals. She put Sir's favorite perfume on and put her hair up into a ponytail.

Sir arrived at her place exactly at the time agreed upon.  She was in the middle of the room on her knees as Sir walked threw the door.  "Such a beautiful site to see upon entering.  Good girl." Sir said with pleasure.  As she waited for Sir's command to move, Sir looked threw her overnight bag.  This was routine, Sir didn't want to forget anything. 

Bending down to kiss the top of her head, "Time to go my girl."

Driving down the road,  "Put your hands behind your back."  Sir instructed.  Sir reached over to her top, pulling the front down below each breast.  His hand then went down between her legs, finger tips lightly stroking her pussy lips.  He felt her wetness already coming from between her lips.   Sir opens the center console, taking out a golf ball size hard sponge, putting it between her pussy lips at the cunt opening.  "Let's see how wet that sponge is by the time we arrive at our destination." Sir said with a smile.

They had casual conversations, with Sir reaching up to pinch a nipple now and then as she would speak.  He found it humorous when she would lose her breath or gasp, or studder.  A little over half way to the destination, Sir checked on the sponge; it was pretty wet, but not soft yet.  As he put the sponge back between her pussy lips, Sir rubbed her clit a little bit. She let out a moan.  "No cumming.  Keep in mind all that I can and will do to you." smiling as he pushed it harder into her cunt opening without pushing inside her.

By the time they arrived at a cabin, she was out of breath.  The cabin was surround by woods  with a river about 50 feet from the cabin, no neighbors or other structures within 2 miles.

She sat without moving until Sir came around to open the car door.  "Don't drop the sponge, keep your hands behind your back."  Sir pulled a pair of clover clamps from his pocket.  He pinched each nipple with them, then lead her to the cabin door, with his hand on her elbow.  ***

When they reach the door, Sir swings it open for her to see inside, before he allows her to enter.  She looks in, she sees that it is one open room, with a large log bed on one side of the room, with a kitchnet on the other side, a few chairs placed about the room.   "Before you enter, you must strip and get on your hands and knees.  Then you must ask for permission to enter." Sir said as he entered the cabin and found a nice chair to watch her come in.

She feels full of peace and freedom, she smiles as she undresses and gets on her hands and knees.  Pausing for a moment, she moved slowly, not to lose the sponge between her legs.  It was almost totally soft, making it easier to keep in place.  She crawled carefully to Sir, kissing his feet as she arrives, resting her forehead on the floor, awaiting his wish. ***

Sir gets up from his chair, closes the door; as he turns around he admires the site of her round bottom up in the air.  When he heads back to the chair, he bends down to run his hands over her bottom, patting it some, before sitting down.

"My girl, sit up and look up at me. This weekend is all about pleasure. My pleasure and yes, your pleasure. Yes pleasure will feel good, but it will also have a painful side. We are going to explore both.  Before the weekend is over, you my girl, will be begging not to have anymore orgasms.  Yet, you will be begging to feel my touch.  Such pleasure to be explored. Now come here, sit on my lap. I want to know your body in ways you don't know."  Sir spoke to her in a calm voice, with gentle eyes looking upon her. 

She moved onto Sir's lap, with her hands on her thighs, with a straight back.  Sir moved her legs to drape over the arm of the chair, as his arm went around her back, pulling her into him.  "Rest your head on my shoulder.  Relax. " He instructed as his hand started to caress her thighs and knees.  When he would touch a spot that made her body move or he could hear her breathing change, he would stop in that spot and ask her how it made her feel or why she reacted in a manner.  This gave him the knowledge of a good pleasure or something he could use as a distraction or totally avoid.  Sir traced her body, avoiding the erotic areas, he already knew she was wet and wanting to feel an orgasm by his touch.  He wanted her anticipation to grow to an ache. ***

Over an hour had past caressing and exploring her body; Sir decided she needed a little release.  He slide a couple of fingers between her pussy lips, finding the sponge in place.  Removing it from her pussy, he brought it close to his face.  "My girl, you have been a good girl and it does please me that you have saturated this sponge.  Open your mouth." Sir said as he allowed her to see the size and how wet the sponge was.  She opened her mouth, as Sir pushes the sponge into it.  With her eyes, she questioned "why" or "what is coming".  She felt the change of the clover clamps move, next one clamp came off then other.  She screamed threw the sponge.  Before she could catch her breath, Sir had several fingers planted deep inside her cunt and his thumb on her clit, she was having an orgasm all over his hand.


5/1/2017 10:38:09 AM
Very down today...  was told last night that this girl is too old for much.. too old to be marriage material, too old to be sexy, too old to have birthday parties, not good enough to be in public...  hating life... so why does this girl even try at doing anything... 

4/28/2017 5:15:36 AM
This girl is always thinking... always thinking "what if", "would a Master be pleased", "what can this girl do better"... etc...  
At 50 years old one would think, structure is a way of life.  Most who have reached this age is grounded, has been in a career for many years, have raised kids, and thinking of retirement.  All that has been done with structure.   This girl raised her kids with structure; something a parent has to do.  Since kids are now on their own, living their adult life; this girl has seemed to lost structure within her life.  Yes, there is a little structure, to take care of boyfriends house, cook, and run errands; getting it done before he comes home from work, so she can be totally available to him, not distracted by chores or other things.  But for the most part, this girl is on her own.  She has many things she would like to do, but gets easily distracted by other things; therefore not doing or completing things. 
When this girl was active within the BDSM community and actively practicing the lifestyle; she had structure from her Dom, and of course being a mother.  The lifestyle and being a mother, gave this girl purpose, made her feel worthy, sexy, desirable.  She now lives a vanilla life, swinging now n then because boyfriend likes it, but lives daily life pretty much alone, having to make her own schedule, decisions, and time consumption.  Dealing with depression and anxiety only makes things more difficult to stay on task. 
Saying all this, is just a realization of how the lifestyle of D/s BDSM has impacted this girl, and was a big part of her life, now gone like her kids.

4/19/2017 12:10:25 PM
this girl sees so many other subs that get the honor of having a mark of the Dom permantly put onto their bodies, from scaring, tattoos to branding.. this girl can only dream of receiving some red marks or bruises from a Dom...  lucky girls.

4/18/2017 12:22:19 PM
I have been a submissive all my life. It has been years since I have served a Dom as a submissive.  So much has happened in this girl's life, that she has forgot what it takes to be a good submissive. So she would like to train herself once more to be a good sub.
what are the first steps to training a submissive???

4/17/2017 12:40:42 PM
after a long weekend, pretty much in silence, watching others enjoying themselves.  this girl dreams of feeling a man's arms wrap around her, hold her for a little while, to hear a man tell her that she is beautiful to him, that she is everything to him,  to feel his touch as he passes by her, to hear compliments when she dresses for him. 
time to go back to sleep to dream some more.. too bad the waking hours are silent and alone.

4/11/2017 4:26:04 AM
if someone was sexy to you, would you have a hard time not touching them???  if your partner can't or refuses to tell their partner what is sexy about them, do they really see or feel that person is sexy??

4/7/2017 1:15:11 PM
wish I could receive some bruises that I could be proud of and show off.  to kneel at his feet, knowing he wants this girl there..  to hear him say "good girl" ...  to know that this girl is wanted and desired, to take his punishment, making him proud..  if only this girl was good enough to have him

4/7/2017 4:37:03 AM
why can a man be polyamorous, and a female cannot???  why must a female be devoted to one man, while he wants or has several females he tries to conquer ????  why isn't one female enough ???

4/6/2017 1:07:02 PM
it is for sure, this girl cannot achieve an orgasm without feeling some type of pain.

4/4/2017 5:04:19 AM
is it wrong for this girl to admire her own pictures??? 

3/31/2017 6:28:45 AM
Isn't there anyone that is original anymore?  Everyone seems to be reading from the same book, because every seems to say the same things all the time.  No one seems to be able to come up with anything of their own, questions or things to talk about.  It is true that there are very few real lifestylers here, most want to play out their fantasies on this site, pretend to want to meet another like-minded person, but they themselves don't really know what they want or how to achieve it.  This girl has experienced quite a bit within the time of being in the lifestyle, have met many different types of people.   It would be very refreshing to find someone who is true to themselves as well as to others. 

3/30/2017 1:40:47 PM
After having a good nap and refreshing shower, and some nice smoke; this girl's mind is swirling with ideas of how to give herself a little release.  For some reason this girl is feeling attractive, a little bit sexy, even though she isn't dressed sexy or had anything happen.  Need to enjoy the feeling while it is here. 

3/20/2017 12:30:22 PM
All men are just looking for a live walking pussy that doesn't speak or have a mind of her own, that they can fuck and abuse as they wish. 

3/14/2017 11:17:36 AM
When a girl wants to know what makes her sexy, how does she ask?  what she wants to know is ... what is it that he sees that makes her sexy, is it her dress, her hair, something she does.. what???  how does she ask, without upsetting him, making her feel stupid for asking.

2/9/2017 5:59:11 AM
Question.....  Why would a man set up his girl to be fucked by another man?
He is a swinger, but he hasn't played/fucked anyone, including his girl in a long time. When he has had/allowed another man fuck her, he isn't in the same room, he doesn't participate. He very seldom touches his girl, yet, he really doesn't do much with other females when the opportunity arises, he is physically capable.  His girl hasn't asked or hinted to wanting other men.

2/3/2017 8:38:21 AM
A little over a year ago this girl used to constantly think of doing for a Master.  Everything this girl would do was with a Master in mind, wanting to please him, to do things in a manner she thought that a Master would like.  Since the time has past without having a Master, and having a boyfriend that doesn't pay attention or care how things are done as long as they get done and he isn't bothered.  Over the past year, this girl's wanting to please has diminished. She has no desire or care to please anyone around her, she has no motivation to want or desire sex.  She no longer feels sexy or attractive in any way.  She wishes she could get that desire back.  To be submissive used to feel so natural and sexy, now it feels worthless.  

1/26/2017 5:27:01 AM
This girl hasn't been feeling well for some time now.  Would be nice if there were someone that this girl could tell about how she feels, get a little bit of sympathy, maybe a little cuddle; but instead this girl gets... "I don't feel well either, you don't hear me complaining." Or this girl gets totally ignored.  Only once in this girl's life, has a man at least acted like he cared, but that was a lifetime ago.  Yet, if this girl acted the same as what she gets, she would be called selfish and insensitive and uncaring.  It would be so nice to actually have someone that truly cares how this girl feels,  would be nice to feel someone hold this girl telling her that he cares and is there for.  Reality is, that is all fantasy and there are no men, people in general that have a caring cell in their bodies.  Today's society is all about themselves.  Never felt the care and love of a "Daddy".  Yes of course this girl had a "Dad" but he always said that this girl was supposed to be a boy, so until this girl could make him proud, he didn't want any part of her life.  This girl wants to feel so much, dying a slow depressing life.

1/25/2017 11:33:47 AM
When did a hug become, one arm half way around the other person, pushing that shoulder into the other person's shoulder??? I used to think a hug was with both arms wrapping around the other person, squeezing slightly, holding them for a little while.   Guess so many have become so selfish a two arm hug is out of line.   Sooooo very sad.

1/25/2017 11:21:02 AM
Why don't men in general have any emotional sensitivity??  Why don't Dom's want any emotional connection to a sub?  It's seems that the D/s lifestyle has become purely physical; the mind and emotions don't have a place anymore. 

1/19/2017 4:23:47 AM
so very tired of always being and feeling alone.  Yet it seems as though this girl will always be alone.  Several men offered to lend their ear/shoulder, for this girl to vent; only to find out it is only a line to see if they can lure one in to claim without really getting to know this girl.  If that is what these men really want, wouldn't it be easier to just come out and say it, instead of playing games.   This girl needs to stop being the fool to think someone would actually want to take that time. 

1/18/2017 11:11:37 AM
Would like to find someone that this girl could trust, believe...  except for the fact that finding those qualities on a site like this is almost impossible, due to only those on this site want to talk sex and nothing else.   Funny how their approach is that you can talk about anything, only to mean... anything with sex in it. 

1/13/2017 4:47:04 AM
Is there a site where this girl can express herself about anything, where it won't hurt someone's feeling?  This girl has no one to talk to about how she feels, so she would express herself on this site and FB; but has learned the wrong people get hurt with the words expressed, even though it may not be about them.  Needing a way to vent.

12/31/2016 5:55:38 AM
This girl will be fantasizing of bringing in the New Year with her Master.  Dreaming to feel his touch and kiss as midnight strikes, feeling the strike of his hand on my ass proclaiming what is his.   This girl will kiss each of her hands as if her prince was vowing to keep her safe and loved.

12/31/2016 3:58:41 AM
Wishing everyone a Happy and Safe New Year's Eve.  May your New Year be better than the past and you find what your heart desires. 

12/23/2016 1:10:46 PM
Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, hope your holidays are good and you get what you want.

12/22/2016 11:16:54 AM
Was told that slaves don't get to celebrate holidays or birthdays.  A slave gets taken care of, fed, and sheltered, therefore doesn't need holidays or gifts.  Her gifts are what she receives everyday, the food, the warmth of a shelter and the attention of her Master.  Anything outside of that is up to her master, and she has to be thankful and appreciate what she has.

hate the holidays

12/22/2016 3:55:45 AM
!!!!!  Another lesson learned !!!!!  If a female wants jewelry, she needs / should buy it for herself, because a man doesn't think or feel their money should be wasted on things that only a female wears.   A female should buy her own jewelry, it is an investment on herself.

12/20/2016 3:52:10 AM
Such a lonely ugly world it is to a submissive that is not owned/collared.

12/15/2016 12:17:19 PM
Being the submissive that this girl is, plus hating the holidays; this girl will be a good girl, keeping her mouth shut and do what she is told, amongst boysfriend's family, since this girl is without family and knows she will be sitting in the corner for most of the day.  UGGGG. :(

12/7/2016 12:56:05 PM
wish this girl could find her sexy again.  Used to feel sexy all the time, used to be told that this girl was sexy, but since about 2 yrs ago it seemed to have disappeared.  Don't know how to find that part of this girl again.  Any suggestions would be helpful.

12/6/2016 1:05:20 PM
Would like to know other's opinion on what sexy is....   is sexy what others see, what makes someone look/seem sexy?  does being sexy come from others or does it have to be within the person? 
this girl hasn't felt sexy in a long time, she misses the feeling. she wants to feel that way again, because if she felt sexy, it wouldn't take much for her to be involved in sex.

12/6/2016 6:26:17 AM
Its wonderful to have a place such as this site, to be able to fantasize, find some pleasure and ideas to excite one's life; since reality is so ugly.  So many like to pretend that love, kindness, caring and friendship can all be in one package.  When you look around, if you could only see what is actually behind the curtain;  to most it is ugly and shocking.  To be able to have a fantasy land is good for a short relief and peace within the soul.

12/2/2016 12:22:19 PM
So very tired of doing everything alone, from getting surgery to pleasure...  everything major has been done alone, no one to lean on, no one to give support...  miss having the desire to serve someone, miss feeling desirable to someone, ...  don't like who and what this girl has become..  a domestic companion, that around for his company, do domestic chores and to drive him around,  not really needed.. this girl is his charity case; at least until he retires, then she is thrown out with the trash.  

12/1/2016 4:14:42 AM
Why are men so insensitive?  This girl tried to tell bf about something that bothered her, he put her on ignore after telling her about what is bothering him, and said we all have things that bother us, so there is no need to complain.  Wishing this girl had a "daddy" that she can complain/whine too and he will hold her and tell her how everything will be alright.  Wish she had someone that will give some sympathy and show some care about what bothers her.
It's all a dream.. not reality.. it hurts.

11/29/2016 1:26:09 PM
Fantasy, dreaming is so much more fun and safer than reality.

11/28/2016 6:03:12 AM
This girl tries so hard to be pleasing to those around her.  Tries to be nice to others, tries to be understanding, but all this girl gets is insults and degrading.  People say they want to get to know you, only to talk about themselves and could careless about you.. it is always about their pleasures, needs and wants.. never about you.  it hurts to think that someone would want to get to know you, only to be thrown out with the trash once they are satisfied with themselves.   giving up on all people.. there is no hope.

11/23/2016 12:42:34 PM

Every female wants to hear a man tell her that she is beautiful or pretty and definitely sexy; to her in person.  Some females get to hear that all the time, by their man and of course other men, strangers, even some other women will compliment another female, especially if she is beautiful to look at.  It's now the holiday season, women all over will be receiving compliments from all over; more than average.  But for those women that very seldom get compliments, this is the worse time of the year for her.  Of course the saying is "beauty is only skin deep";  in most cases that is true.  Except for the fact women in general want to hear and know it is sincere from someone, others;  only to know the reality is, she will most likely never hear such a compliment, especially a sincere compliment.

This girl is  one of those females that don't get verbal compliments from anyone, especially from her boyfriend. She gets to hear him compliment all over females around, and has accepted the fact she will never get to hear it, because it wouldn't be true and sincere.  Depression sets in deeper.. Can't do anything about it, except put a mask on and act as if she is alright and happy for everyone else.. 

Too bad people now days don't know how to be kind and genuine.


11/23/2016 5:54:36 AM
Wishing everyone a great American Thanksgiving Day, may you have a great family day, football day,.. don't eat too much.. even though we all will... :) and most of all PEACE

11/20/2016 4:46:19 AM
It's too bad the internet wasn't up and running the way it is now, when this girl was younger. This girl would have been a Dominant female demanding subbie males to pay me for my time and attention.  Except if this girl would have done that 20yrs ago, she would be called a whore and degraded..  It must be amazing to have older men pay a young female for their time when they know very little about dominating a mature man.   If this girl told men to pay her for her time now.. she would be laughed at and still called a whore.. not fair.

11/18/2016 12:46:05 PM
Another boring weekend alone...  not sure what this girl is going to do with herself.

11/16/2016 12:39:44 PM
Fantasy while masturbating.....

It was time for her daily orgasm, before Sir headed to work.

Sir brought her into the dungeon, put her up on the exam table.  Put a rolled towel under her neck and the small of her back; keeping her head back by strapping it to the table, and keeping her back arched.  He then tied her feet together, and legs tied at the knees and down to the table. Her arms tied above her head. He put a mouth cage on, to keep her mouth open.  Sir wanted to watch her struggle against the ropes and his teasing.

Standing beside her, he gave her pussy a couple of sharp smacks, before placing clamps on her nipples.  He stroked her clit with his fingers teasing it and spreading her wetness all over.  She moaned as he teased her, bringing her to her first edge.  He then inserted the butt plug, "Don't let this come out or you will get several swats on that wet pussy." he told her.  She knew she would get punished, because every time he would edge her, her body would push on the plug.

She moaned and withered against the ropes as she got closer to orgasm.  Sir could tell by her moans and the rhythm of her breathing.  She did very good at keeping the plug in place, thru edging 3 or 4 times.  Sir decided it was time for the magic wand, and that she wouldn't be able to keep the plugc in place.  Sir looked forward to spanking her pussy before taking her over the edge.

Sir lowered the exam table where he could have his cock over her open mouth, while being able to reach all parts of her.  "Look what I have for you.  When I give your mouth my cum, you will be allowed to cum." Sir said to her as he stroked his cock over her face, looking at the plea in her eyes. 

Sir put the magic wand on her clit, counted to 5, then stopped.   Giving the plug a push to secure it's deepness.

Again, the magic wand pulsated on her clit, to the count of 10 this time.   Sir put his cock in her open mouth as he pushed the plug in, and patting her swollen cunt lips.

Sir  put his cock across her opened mouth, stroking it over her mouth, letting it go into her mouth every couple of strokes. 

Her moans started to come from deep within her chest; Sir knows she is very close to going over the edge, to the point he wouldn't be able to stop it, no matter what he did.  So he moved between her legs, thrusting his cock deep into her cunt, placing the head of the magic wand right on her clit.  Turning it on, instantly feeling her cunt grip his cock.  Tugging on the clamps, he felt her body go over the edge as Sir fucked her hard and deep.  As Sir got close to cumming, he pulled out, moved to her mouth, cumming in and on her mouth and face.

Without a word, Sir started to spank her now tender pussy.  "Told you that you were to cum only after I gave my cum." Seeing the plug on the  floor, not sure when it came out.  Sir got a larger plug and a dlido.  Sir inserted the plug and then the dildo.   Sir moved between her legs to ensure she stayed filled, as he again turned the magic wand on her clit, as he pulled the chain attached to the nipple clamps.   It didn't take long, she let out a loud scream, going over the edge, exploding hard, feeling the pleasure and pain at the same time.   Sir was pleased in how he knew her so well.

As Sir took the ropes off, he would kiss the area.  When it came to removing the mouth cage, he kissed her mouth.

"My sweet, you are my perfect instrument and playground.  But because you didn't followed my order, you will be kept on your hands and knees all day and plugged.  You can only stand when needed, while doing your chores."  Sir helped her from the table to the floor. 

Sir headed to the bathroom, to get ready for work.  She knew to follow behind him, to be there with him, to help dry and dress him for work.  "Get into the tub, lay on your back, bring legs up to your chest." Sir ordered.

Once she was in place, Sir urinated all over her body and face.  "Get out, wait for me to get out."  Sir climbed into the shower to wash.  She had the towel ready to dry Sir as she knelt waiting for him. 

As she dried Sir off, he said " you will not shower today, you will keep my fluids on you until I get home."

This was an indicator that Sir had more planned for her, when he got home from work.   "Yes Sir, understands and with honor, Sir." she replied. 


11/14/2016 4:29:20 AM
Why don't men brag about their women??   Men will of course brag about their daughters and their mothers, but not their wives or girlfriends. Have heard men talk about other men's wives and girlfriends, but not their own.   Why?

11/11/2016 5:53:53 AM
A new acknowledgement for this girl..  due to gaining so much weight, this girl has to learn to accept name calling and the dislike for fat people...  not east to accept, but it is a must in order to keep going.

11/9/2016 12:35:15 PM
Addicted to this site... addicted to BDSM...  why, when this girl lives in the vanilla world, with a vanilla swinger bf.  Should leave this site and leave the D/s BDSM world alone.  Just can't pull herself away, even though there is no hope.

11/6/2016 10:42:06 AM
why do men think that giving head and being bent over to be fucked, is most satisfactory to a female???  no foreplay, no teasing... just give him head, bend over to be fucked from behind.. he cums...  the end.

11/4/2016 1:04:24 PM
alone for a couple more hours... want to be on edge.. plug inserted, tits bound, as this girl finishes her daily chores.  trying to build the edge for a good releasing climax tomorrow.

11/3/2016 2:47:16 PM
I want, I want, I want.... I need, I want, I need...  oh well
I want to serve a good caring Dom.....  no I don't.. don't want to be used one time and thrown out.
I want to serve to be rewarded...  nope.. no reward for trash.
I want to be forced to have an orgasm....  that won't happen.. no man can give you that.
I need to feel wanted...  keep dreaming.
I want to be desired... no man can desire a bitch.
I need to be wanted, desired and loved...  keep dreaming .. those are only for good girls.
want and need so much, yet this girl can only think of herself and is told how bad she really is and undesirable... so this girl can and will only be able to dream while living a vanilla lifestyle as a silent slave.

11/3/2016 12:25:23 PM
This girl is bored and feeling very lonely.  so much goes thru her peebrain, and no way for it to escape.  Feel like deactivating this girl's profile..  knows that she isn't good enough for anyone.   The only problem is.. this girl is addicted to the lifestyle and for some odd reason this site..   maybe after some time of staying away; try to stay away.. the addiction will go away too.

11/2/2016 11:31:16 AM
Orgasms are so addictive.  Once you achieve that ultimate climax, you tend to chase that feeling, wanting and needing to feel that high and fall of that ultimate climax. Same goes for achieving that ultimate sub-space; that freedom.  Daily orgasms are nice, sometimes gets boring, and tiresome.  Alone you can reach a good orgasm, and sometimes a really good climax; yet, none meet that ultimate climax, that releases all stress and clears the mind.  Now add chasing that freedom of sub-space and the ultimate climax; becomes so frustrating and eventually depressing. 
This girl has reached a deep sub-space only 3 times, and only once that ultimate deep freedom of sub-space.  Have only reached the ultimate climax along with sub-space once with someone.  Ever since, this girl has been chasing it, yearning to feel that freedom, that empty quiet mind, and stress free body. This can only be achieved by having a mental and physical connection with one special person.  guess that only happens once in a lifetime; this girl has been lucky enough to have it,  so this girl needs to come to an acceptance within herself that it will not happen again in her lifetime; be content with the orgasms and climaxes she can achieve alone.

10/31/2016 6:48:13 AM
so so many are fakes and flakes, yet, there are so many that are just players; wanting and trying to see how many people they can play with/fuck, then you don't hear from them again. 

10/28/2016 8:57:39 AM
Yesterday a young man (30yrs old), a friend, came by to say hello.  As we talked, he kept staring at this girl. Trying not to make it obvious she knew he was staring, she made sure she sat in positions to give him something to look at. Think boyfriend has a little bit of jealousy; because he kept touching this girl, rubbing her thigh, taking hold of her hand once in a while, and then leaning over to give her a kiss; all in front of this young man.  Not sure if boyfriend was trying to send him a message of some kind or not, whether it be of "she's mine" or "look what I have" or could it be something else.  It made this girl feel really good to hear boyfriend say to her, that he thinks the young man has lust for this girl, including having the attention of both men.  The highlight of the day :)

10/27/2016 6:08:21 AM
WHY WHY, WHY...  don't people read profiles before contacting someone????  stupid people ask questions that are answered in the profile, yet they are too lazy or stupid to see that. 

10/26/2016 4:58:48 AM
This girl has been told that she is only good for one-time fuck.  Once a man has had her, they are no longer interested.  Even in this current vanilla relationship, bf only fucks her once a month (if that), not good for much more, other than domestic chores.  This hurts this girl mentally, wishing she had more.

10/25/2016 4:39:36 AM
Why do the people of your past seem to make an appearance (make contact), after several years of no contact, after you have decided they weren't good for you to begin with??  It always seems that once you get to the point of not thinking about them, they seem to reappear, disrupting your life, bringing back all the hurtful thoughts and feelings.  Then of course they tell you they never liked your lifestyle to begin with, and that you are insane for wanting BDSM, saying how "sick" you are, receiving what you wanted; not saying any of this with any type of understanding or remorse. 

10/20/2016 2:29:35 PM
Men want females to be physically ready for them at any time and place.  How does a female get ready, get in the mood, stay in the mood, stay ready for what a man wants; when there is no foreplay, teasing, or even advance notice??   needing advise.

10/18/2016 12:15:01 PM
The following is what happened to this girl this past weekend.

A couple of friends are coming over to play; he told her.

Two minutes later, the man shows up.  He sits down for some casual chitchat and a drink and smoke.

A few minutes later, she was told to get undressed.  She looked over at him, not ready to play. Asking where is the woman, that is supposed to come?

Get undressed and get into the dungeon; he told her.

She hesitated, then slowly went into the bathroom, peed, came back out in a robe, and went into the dungeon. Where she dropped the robe on the floor. While the two men got undressed looking at her.

She was helped getting onto the exam table, each man putting her foot into the stirrups. 

Boyfriend got between her legs, rubbing the head of his cock up and down her slit.  Without any warning, he pushes his cock into her pussy.  The other man sucked on one nipple while his fingers pinched, pulled and played with the other nipple.  She let out a couple of cries, as the cock thrusted into her cunt and her nipple was bit on. 

The men became more aroused as she cried out, moaning now and then.  The thrusting became harder and faster, her nipples were being treated as if they were going to be bit or pulled off her chest. 

After a few minutes, her boyfriend came deep inside her.  Before he pulled from her cunt, he had the other man get on his knees to lick  the juices from her cunt as he pulled out.  The other man ate her pussy, cleaning up all the fluids.

The other man held off from cumming, until the other woman showed up. 

She was told to get dressed and serve drinks to both men. 

Once the other woman showed up, they all were back in the dungeon, now giving her all kinds of attention; leaving this girl in the other room by herself. 


10/17/2016 10:37:53 PM
hate impatient people.. hate being told how much someone likes you when they know nothing about you and haven't met you in person.  being judged just because you don't reply in the words they want to see/hear..  getting judged without knowing what you are talking about.. this isn't how to start something good with another..  people should really think about what they say to another, unless you really are an asshole.

10/17/2016 2:57:22 PM
this girl is in a vanilla swinger relationship; boyfriend decides when and who we may play with.  Even though bf is not in the lifestyle of D/s BDSM and has a dungeon; we live a 50's style household, he makes all the decisions.  This girl may live the life he wants, but this girl not only is a submissive, this girl is property...  she has no say in anything, not allowed to disagree or deny anything with/for him.  this girl is a property slave, wishing she had rewards, some arousal for herself and some pleasure from him.  Just because he has others come to play, he gives this girl no advance notice of such going to happen, and nothing to arouse this girl to be able to please him and the others.  This girl now knows she is property most of all, and no advance notice, she is figure out a way to be ready at all times.  wishing this girl knew how not to have any emotions on how tis girl has to live.

10/14/2016 2:44:27 PM
If this girl announced a place she will be, would anyone meet her there?  and how long should she wait to see if anyone showed up?

10/14/2016 2:28:14 PM
What do Dom's want from a female?  actions, dress, verbal??  have learned that most men (Dom's) want a female to keep her mouth shut; unless giving head, not to say anything unless she is addressed to do so.  Most want a female to always be in a dress or naked, and their actions are to compliment his, or just to do as he wants, never to question or deny him. Cyber is a way to meet others, but it is so insensitive, so impersonal, and emotional less.  So my question is, if a female isn't comfortable, and is trying to learn about the man, what does he expect and how soon?

10/13/2016 12:19:13 PM
bored.. tired.. in a state of emptiness and lost.. 
had a session, which told this girl that she is no longer made for BDSM, was once eager to be an object/toy to play with, to abuse...  now this girl understands why no man wants her, she is a dead fish and doesn't know how to please another.  Too many men have taken all this girl used to be, leaving her with nothing. 

10/12/2016 5:30:42 AM
Trust... everyone says that is what is the most important aspect of the lifestyle.  To gain trust one must be able to be honest and open with what they say and do; but how can one be open and honest if the other can't handle or doesn't really want the truth.  All too often someone will ask a question, if they don't get the answer they want, all is over.  If one doesn't want to hear the truth from another, then don't ask, at least don't preach about wanting the truth, be open and honest.  Again too many fakes and flakes, too many wanna-be's . 

10/10/2016 12:33:48 PM
Learning that men expect all submissive women to just obey their commands without the submissive being motivated or aroused to do so.  Yet a female is to be motivated only because a man is interested in her???  sorry this old girl just doesn't work that way anymore, she needs something to help get her in the mood, some reason to want to serve any man.  This girl is a submissive, does enjoy serving the right men, but that need to serve is dying, due to no respect or motivation. 

10/7/2016 2:04:32 PM
why oh why, do the people who have hurt you the most keep showing up, when all you want to do is to forget them and try to move on. ???   do they like to remind you of the pain they caused and to keep one in a state of worthlessness ..   thanks.

10/7/2016 12:54:04 PM
Why doesn't this girl have a Master/Dom??? .... 
There are many reasons.
1. ugly
2. fat
3. in a vanilla relationship
4. suffers with depression
5. doesn't want to be abused
6. wants to be more than an object
7. wants to be loved and cared for
8. has too much baggage
9. wants the emotional and mental connection
10. no man wants to handle this girl

10/6/2016 11:32:33 AM
Question.....   Does a man want a female to stay still or move; when playing with her pussy or other parts of her body?
Does he want to see her body react to his touch or does he want to see how much control she has over her body, keeping it still as he arouses her?

10/4/2016 1:12:02 PM
Many years ago this girl used to want to please everyone around her, especially the man/men in her life.  Since this girl has been left alone to think and do for herself, she now for the most part, thinks for and about herself.  When she must do for others, she feels neglected, because she is expected to do for others, while she gets ignored and expected to do for herself..  So now when she thinks for and about herself, she is told she is being selfish.  This girl can only dream of someone else doing and thinking about her, instead of being ignored all the time.   Guess this girl is no longer a submissive.

9/11/2016 11:11:35 AM
It's said that you don't know what you had until you lose it. 
For the past two weeks, this girl has done quite a bit of thinking.  Looking back at what she once had with someone, the daily attention, the daily arousal, the daily release; all lost because this girl wanted more and fought every step she had to take to achieve those daily gifts; of course not recognizing the gifts at the time.  Now this girl doesn't have anyone to allow her these gifts, to give her the attention so desperately needed.  This girl now has low drive, no desire for sex, and feels as if she is fading away with no purpose in life.  This girl does miss what she once had, knowing she will never have anything like it again.

8/25/2016 12:56:49 PM
in this girls opinion...
couples become swingers, because they don't have much of a sex life between them, so they become swingers so each can get sex from someone else, making it alright within the relationship.  D/s lifestyle couples seem to only have others come into their sex lives to add to it, not because their partners don't or can't satisfy the other. 
this girl doesn't mind others being involved to enhance the session, not because my partner can't satisfy me.. but reality is, there is no one man that can totally satisfy only one person.  

8/22/2016 11:49:16 AM

Weekend fun

The weekend started off just like any other weekend.  Girl woke up, got some coffee, joined boyfriend in the other room.  He was online chatting with someone.  Found out he had invited a single man over to take care of bother of us; boyfriend and this girl.  When the guy came over, we talked for a little while, before going to the jacuzzi.  The guy sat close to this girl, so he could play with girl's pussy with his fingers.  After a little while of playing with pussy and sucking on tits, he lifted her hips up to fuck her.  The guy fucked her hard up against the side of the jacuzzi for a few minutes, then went back to fingering the pussy.  After another few minutes, he said that he liked how tight the pussy is and he couldn't get enough; pulling her into him, to fuck her more.  Guy fucked her hard for quite awhile, when he said he had to stop, because he didn't want to cum inside her.  He never did give any attention to boyfriend, before he went home. 

Saturday evening Boyfriend and this girl met a couple at a swingers club.  Once inside we all headed to the pool to start things off.  While in the pool another single guy that we were acquainted with, started to finger this girl and sucking on her tits, as the other couple held her in place and the other female, stroked both men.   After some time, this girl couldn't tell whose fingers were playing with her.  This went on for some time.  After awhile, we took a smoke break, before finding a private room for the four of us to play.  We found a room that had a short bench with steel post attached. This was for someone to lay on, put legs over the posts, to keep the person spread open.  A large powerful vibrator was next to the bench; time to play.  This girl was first on the bench with legs spread and kept open. The other female used the vibrator on this girl's clit as she fingered cunt and sucked on nipples, while the two men watched.  After she got this girl to orgasm several times, it was her turn on the bench.  This girl teased the other girl with the vibrator for a while, fingered her, then sucked on her clit while finger fucking her. This girl got her to orgasm several times.  Both men were rock hard watching us two females play, they couldn't hold back any further, they had to fuck us.  Boyfriend had the female on the bed, while her husband had this girl bent over the bench so he could fuck her from behind.  Several times he yelled out how good this pussy felt, while fucking her hard; making her head hit the wall many times (laughing).  The guy yell out as he started to cum inside this girl, while still coming, pulled out to finish spitting his cum all over her pussy and ass, pushing it back inside her cunt to fuck until he became soft. 

This girl felt really good to hear two different men say how much they liked this pussy, how tight it is and how good it felt.  Hearing this made this girl feel sexy and desirable.  


8/19/2016 6:13:52 AM
It doesn't matter what this girl thinks or feels, because he may not always be right, but he is never wrong; so keep mouth shut.

8/18/2016 1:46:40 PM
Feeling empty today.  Went for a walk, went to the store, bought a couple of plants (flowers) to tend too, did the house chores, yet feeling empty, feeling of no purpose, feeling very alone, lonely.
About a year ago this girl would write several short stories; yes most were written for someone at the time.  This girl used to have motivation, the imagination to write the stories; wrote with the intent to please another.  That time has past, now there is no motivation, no one to write for, no imagination, no drive.  Miss having the muse to write.

8/17/2016 11:23:04 AM
Feeling totally worthless.  
For the longest time boyfriend lead this girl to believe he had a prostate problem; only to find out after he went to the doctor, that there is nothing wrong with him.  Which now indicates that his problem is actually this girl. 

8/16/2016 11:48:03 AM
Complete chores, then into the Jacuzzi to cool down..  maybe some release while there too.

8/15/2016 1:47:42 PM
Feeling a bit down today.  Listening to music, makes me wish this girl was someone that songs are written about; the love, the desire, the hurt of not being with them.  Wish, someone would touch this body, to tease, and/or just to say "thinking of you".  The down side is, this girl isn't good enough for any of that;.. why.. because every man this girl has been with has said so, this girl has never even experienced any type of romance, real love. All this girl knows, is how men like to use her, get their needs met by her, then she is forgotten about.  No, boyfriend doesn't do anything of the sort with this girl, he doesn't even like to be seen in public with this girl.  This girl is with him, because there is nothing better for her.

8/11/2016 2:48:29 PM
There are days this girl feels pretty, attractive, sexy... days when this girl would love to hear compliments..  of course that doesn't happen...  yet, on the days this girl feels ugly, fat, is when everyone has something to say, and it usually isn't nice.   At times this girl wishes there was a man in her life that would give her compliments, tell her how attractive she is to him, has a hard time keeping his hands off of her.. but that is all fantasies.  Reality sucks and is very exhausting.

8/9/2016 11:24:04 AM
why does knowing someone else has control of your orgasms, keep you in the state of arousal until you get permission to cum? 

8/9/2016 6:30:22 AM
Yes Sir
may your girl please have an orgasm?
yes Sir, of course it is yours
how may your girl release?
may your girl use "Mr. H."?
yes Sir, clamps will be on nipples
thank you Sir for the pain
thank you Sir for allowing your girl to experience an orgasm for you.

8/8/2016 2:47:17 PM
this girl understands that men are visual creatures, but don't they realize that women are mental creatures, a female's mind needs to be stimulated in order for actions/reactions happen for her.

8/8/2016 1:39:44 PM
this needs Daddy to crawl over to, to climb onto his lap, lay her head onto his shoulder, as his arms wrap around his girl, making her feel wanted and cherished. 

8/8/2016 1:34:33 PM
why is getting on cam, the only way to prove that you are submissive?? why does it have to be about exposing yourself, especially when you aren't ready to do that???  guess, this girl is a fake/flake just like everyone else ... 

8/6/2016 9:04:31 AM
Just got back from the store; a man had dropped an item, this girl picked it up for him, as he said thank you, he also said "aren't you a good girl"  this girl smiled at him and thanked him. Don't know if he knows how calling a female a "good girl" makes her feel. 

8/6/2016 5:32:03 AM
In wonderland, this girl is with a man that has strong desires for this girl. He can't keep his hands off of her, likes to dress her up or down, likes to hear her respond to his commands and touch.  A man that wants to see or hear what she has written, to give his support and suggestions to her, to help her improve, to hear his support and compliments.  But that is all in wonderland, something this girl will continue to dream about.

8/6/2016 5:01:20 AM
This girl has read some Gorean books, and likes some of the Gorean ways.  Wondering if a Gorean slave girl can also be a "lil girl" ? 

8/3/2016 12:40:13 PM
In a vanilla relationship as a submissive; actually a slave. This girl is not to disagree, argue, or speak without being spoken to.  If asked for her opinion, it should be on the same lines as his, if it is not, this girl gets ignored.  This girl is not to have a job outside the house, per boyfriend. This girl asked to go shopping, was told not until he gets home from work; problem is, he doesn't like for this girl to go anywhere once he is home from work.  This girl got into trouble for keeping change in her purse from getting what he wanted while out.  Yet, every time this girl gives change back, he gets upset.  The only type of punishment this girl gets, is to be shunned for at least three days.  The only reward this girl gets, is a pat on the knee and told she did well.  This girl does all she can to keep boyfriend content, yet it never seems to be enough.  Last night he reminded this girl, that if she complains or gets too talkative, he will replace her with another.  Plus nine years, or short of ten years is the limitation that he will keep any female. 
This girl writes this to vent some, but to allow others to see how this girl lives. 

8/1/2016 12:50:39 PM
Several men have said to this girl that she would get noticed in public.  That this girl should not have any issues with gaining attention from men.  Well the sad ugly truth is, no man notices this girl in public, this girl is ignored for the most part, the only attention this girl gets in in questions, as if this girl worked in the area, or if someone wants this girl to do something for them or someone else.  The most recent attention this girl go from a stranger in public, was he told this girl to cover up and that is girl didn't belong...   wonderful life this girl lives..  so man think it is easy to be happy and just serve everyone, no pleasures there..
this girl is trying to figure out how to not be in public at all.

7/31/2016 3:09:57 PM

"Try Me" the note said.

Alice looked at the object; it sat on the floor, half moon shape.  She could see the only way to use it, would be to sit, straddle it.  Once all her weight sat down on the object, something slowly penetrated her and vibrated.  As it vibrated her sensitive area, the object penetrated in and out of her. The motion of the object had her in a state of hypnotist, she couldn't move from or off of it.  The object had her so fixated, she felt great pleasures, until her body exploded with orgasm.  The object released her, allowing her to fall off.

Laying on the floor catching her breath, she looked about the room.  It seems as the room had changed while she had her orgasm.  The room was now dark red and round.


7/30/2016 11:34:26 AM
Alice fell threw the deep rabbit hole into a empty room that had all kinds of toys and accessories.  Not sure what to do with any of them, she decided to start with one, try it out, then move to the next one.  She hears sounds echoing within the room; only to notice the sounds were coming from within her.  The first toy was annoying, didn't do anything for her. The next toy she wasn't sure what to do with it; it vibrated with a large head on the end. She let it caress her naked skin, until it found her sensitive spots.  This felt good, but too good, it made her too sensitive it started to hurt.   The next toy had a note on it, "TRY ME." 

7/30/2016 6:10:31 AM
Why do young men want to play with an older woman?   Understand, that younger men want to play with an older woman, just to say they did or to gain some experience, learn something.  But to have anything more than a fling, is something not understood, especial in the lifestyle of D/s BDSM.

7/30/2016 4:01:01 AM
The "Madd Hatter" is at it again. He has invited a guy and his two playing cards over for an afternoon tea party; telling Alice to invite others to the tea party.  Alice doesn't know what way to go, wishing the "Cheshire Cat" was around for advise.

7/29/2016 2:51:44 PM
Today's rabbit hole has been very hot and uneventful.  Tired of all the imaginary characters messing with this girl's head, telling her things they think she wants to hear, only to actually be saying that this girl is only to occupy their time for the moment and means nothing past that.  Need to find that rabbit to chase around, hopefully catch and kill it.

7/28/2016 2:46:12 PM
At times it feels like an honor that people will confine in this girl, yet wants nothing to do with her, so why waste your time telling a stranger what your wants and desires are??? 
Have to always remind myself that men talk literal and don't have feelings/emotions for any other person than themselves. 

7/26/2016 2:59:06 PM
Have decided it would be a waste of time for me as well as for anyone who was interested in meet with me.  All that have met me in person, must have been discussed in this girl, so I no longer am going to try to meet anyone.  Thanks for your time.  

7/21/2016 2:04:37 PM
It is so hard sometimes to pick out the fakes/flakes; so many come across as if they are real and know what they are and looking for, only for them to end up being rude assholes.  So tired of being jerked around, yet when I stand my ground, I am the bitch... just like driving, someone cuts you off, you honk at them, and they flip you off as if it were you the one doing wrong...  sure does make me think about deleting my profiles.

7/20/2016 2:23:37 PM
This girl's place in life is in the shadows, don't say a word unless spoken too, keeping opinions and thoughts to it's self, don't disagree with anyone, don't argue with anyone, do what is told, don't make it's self noticeable to anyone in public, ...  all this girl has learned since childhood and is more relevant now that it is past child raring years, it has no purpose except to be used and forgotten about.  Doesn't matter if it is D/s or vanilla lifestyle.   

7/11/2016 4:00:08 AM
Wondering....   is the only time a sub/female gets touched is when she initiates the action?
Answer.... yes, unless she is to get abused/beaten or fucked...  and if she initiates it, she should not expect anything except to please him, no pleasure for her.

7/9/2016 12:38:24 PM
If you are more interested in the females that I have around me, then keep steppin.. 
All my life, everyone has always been more interested in my girlfriends, instead of me.. they use me to get to them.. I am tired of being treated like a second string.  Also another reason I am not interested in any type of poly relationships..  Have fun, best wishes in your search.

7/8/2016 2:21:10 PM
yea...  I got to buy myself a new large tshirt and bra today...  have to get shirts that aren't tight around my belly.. must hid my fat.  no more shorts for me.

7/7/2016 2:45:49 PM
Does being a good provider, also mean that they are also a good lover, or that they love you?   I am very stupid and would like to know other's opinion.

6/24/2016 11:34:13 AM
Have been doing a lot of reading about different types of BDSM relationships.  It doesn't seem that there is really anything that is actually long term, unless you consider 3  to 5 yrs long term.  It seems as though, most see long term, means, to have a sub for a couple of months, long enough to have some fun, but once the fun is over, the couples goes their separate ways.  So a TPE LTR, really don't exist in this lifestyle.  Pity..

6/20/2016 12:12:14 PM
Wasn't aware that a one must do as told, to whomever commands it, or you are not a submissive.  Why is that the only way one is a true submissive, is if they do what is commanded right away, without knowing the person or agreeing to it?

6/15/2016 2:49:01 PM
What are the rules to belong to this site???  does one have to be interested or involved in a poly relationship, must be willing to be shared or share with others, must like to be treated like an animal or doormat?  Is a submissive to be mindless, stupid, an empty head?  A submissive is welcome to be abused, beat up and treated worse than an animal?   That is what this site seems that it supports and the only people here want. 

9/17/2015 2:01:57 PM
Came to this site to check things out.  Not really sure what I am looking for.  This all may be a mistake.

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LadyLoveBabyDoll
 
 Age: 26
 Geneva, Switzerland