When I think about D/s, the very first words that come to mind are MUTUAL TRUST and MUTUAL RESPECT. These need to earned. People in vanilla relationships need to earn them from their partners. But, it's even more crucial in the D/s relationship than in any other. Once again, TRUST and RESPECT need to be earned. Neither are a given. So, why, why, why do all the Doms who contact me and want to meet me expect me to submit to them the first time we meet???? Submission is a gift to be shared AFTER TRUST and RESPECT are earned. A sub needs to feel safe in order to agree to submit. We know there are crazy people out there who will hurt or kill you. Just because you say you're not one of them doesn't mean you're not one of them! Nobody ever admits to a potential victim that they are going to hurt or kill her. C'mon!!! Be realistic!!! If your expectation is submission right away, before TRUST and RESPECT have been established, please, please, please DO NOT CONTACT ME. I didn't think I needed to add this, but apparently I do. I am straight and only interested in hearing from men. |