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I am only in it for the control. TPE. 24/7. Only interested, if it is good for my family I care for. I am slave. I know my opinion only means something when my Dom/Master says it means something. However, I do have family to protect.
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Another Master has gone. Hating being needing. They seem to not want anything to do with me. I just wish I knew what I did. I think I am just going to talk to my friends, and not worry about finding anyone. Honestly, don't think the real thing with me. |
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I am going to share some things that have happen to me. I do not know where my Master is. I have moved to new state. Well, moved back to the state I was raised in. I am unable to handle social life. So much that my anxiety gets better of me. The only time I felt better mentally was with that control. I don't know why, but all my disorders was no longer a problem. Now I am on six meds, some in morning, and some at night. Sometimes I feel I am going fail the family I have. Because I am juggling being who I am a non-assertive person that can't handle any level of drama. I even tried to be in "normal" relationship and found that it did not have the same effects as a D/s relationship. I have not updated my Master status because I am not willing to let go. On some level I want to move on, but that means I be alone. I have fear that will never be someone comfort. I will never be someone that can please my other half. I don't know what to do. I know I am barely functioning, but I keep trying for my family sake. How much longer before my soul gives up. I want D/s relationship, because it gives me peace of mind. It gives me someone to please. I am sad today. Because I do not know what to do anymore. |
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Age: 30 |
Boise,
Idaho |
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