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blossoming through my mind
passionate of thoughts.
leather thongs, tag and press
careless of the fault.
let it be where they lay
passionate with no play.
my what to linger of the paddle, swinging from his hand.
bringith me upward. his to command.
steer me not, toward a lighted path too far
safe am i to hide in my own mind.
kneeled and down ward falls.
( strange the things that come from my mind and heart some times huh?) |
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let it drip,
running down my back, passing by my thighs,
draining to the floor,
whose to say what for?
bleeding now the red, of precious shedded tears.
tearing threw some pain of last years old fears.
dripping down with cold, clinging of this whip!
drag me down tight, taken with the night,
darkness of my soul. calleth back my own.
tearith through my veins , let them drip with pain.
puddles on my floor. and all i want is more.
tie me tight tonight.
it will make it alright.
Crackith is the whip.
soul seeking, may we slip.
dripped down drain me dry.
forever in my head to hide.
( HMM THIS ONE I WROTE TONIGHT IS WEIRD. BUT I LIKE IT.)
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restless girl here we go
restless girl, do not fear,
i must sleep, for there to be
my self for tomorrows dreams
dream me not cut down deep
dark within the soul asleep
lead me not in the light of the day.
take my soul,
into the earth to stay.
( this was written by my self on June 6, 2012)
i wrote it because, i do not fucking understand some things, my mind is tangled with feelings, LUST AND confusion.
any way, i must try to rest. i do have a job to consider.
Good night Collar me
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if not for my lack of control and gratitude I could have had a weekend in the sun watching Sir compete................perhaps one day soon I may have the chance.............. |
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ashes,
ashes of tomrrow may blow on by.
Ashes,
ashes of tomorrow , could make you cry.
cry with hope. cry with tears.
cry, trails of the red streaked with lights of fear.
Ashes of old shed me tonight.
ashes of new leave no blemishes in sight.
Ashes blown by.
Ashes blown free.
Forever may I seek ashes of red for me.
( this is just something i was thinking so i wrote it out. thank you for sharing) |
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thinking about today. thinking about my life, and the loved ones included in it.
headed to work soon and thank ful for that. |
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Just hanging out for a little while.
What are you doing? |
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going to sit in chat for a few minutes, while I fill out an application for one more part time job. |
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JUST WISHING EVERY ONE HERE AT COLLAR ME A HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY! |
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just hanging out for now, enjoying some privacy, job searching also, chatting abit here and there. and I am also running laundry and cleaning house.
i walked to the store ealier.
what are you doing? |
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HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND EVERY ONE!! |
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i put the pizza away, i have scrubbed down my kitchen cabinets. Now it is time to go walk my dogs. then get them settled in thier kennels for the night.
then im back on some chatting and more cleaning. fun hmm?
i wish. |
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YOOOO HOOO, PPSSSSSSSSSTT!!
I JUST ORDERED SOME PIZZA!! DOES ANY BODY WANT A SLICE? IT WILL BE HERE IN 30 MINUTES!! lol giggles. i can email it to you! |
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i have a new job! Things are looking up! I am starting to work my German Shepard again! My husband ( WHOM LIKE MY PROFILE SAYS IS NOT!! MY MASTER NOR DOMINANT!! SAYS THAT WE MAY BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO GET ME A CAR IN THE SUMMER)
BUT i am happy these past couple of weeks and it has been a while since i have felt some peace within and felt pleased with my own inside behavior.
thank you for listening. |
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HAPPY MOTHER`S DAY TO ALL THE MOMS. I HOPE YOU HAVE MANY MORE. |
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tangles
tangles of lies, tangles of truth.
tangles of justice with no full proof.
tangle me not, with dread,
need me now, tangles of rope in stead.
hold me true, tie me strong.
tangles like this. i do not take as wrong.
tangle me with your love, through strength shown of the ropes.
life is shredding to me , pulling apart my own tangles of hope.
lead me not, to a tangled web of despair.
lead me instead to the tangle of your lair.
lay me down, tie me wide. tangle a thresh, gives me nothing to hide.
shedding tears from a tangle of red.
streaked me not. tangles heavy to dread.
pull me now, hearts a ripped.
tangles of love. My love may you keep.
this is what i had in side me and so i wrote it, thank you for sharing. i know it has been a long time since i have written.
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just taking each day as they come |
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going back out side, eeven though it is late, i want to enjoy my fire, think about my life and drink some hot coa coa, while looking AT THE stars.
what are you doing? |
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i thoroughly enjoy accepting the private chat from some dumb ass and then when the stupid questions start coming, I politely offer to cut and paste my own profile in to the private chat area for his or her reading convenience.
hmm bit of a smart ass, am i not? wanna spank me? ( grins )
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chat was nice today, there are too many goof balls asking for privates though, as soon as they find out i am not going to do any thing they also leave, so why bug me in the first place, u can chat in the lobby area just as well as private.
thank you |
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I am hanging out in chat, for a little while so I can have some company while i clean house and work on tax papers.
what are you doing? |
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i see alot of you ladies peeking at my profile, if you want to chat, just ask me. simple as that, just because you chat or view a profile that does not commit you to any thing. |
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just hanging out while i do some chores and care for my dogs and also work on Tax junk. yuck......... |
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I am having trouble staying connected to the chat rooms tonight, bummer |
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this is silly but i am going to write it any way,
ijust finished rewatching the video of my self in Feb
2/2/2012 8:22:07 PM, i watched it and remember how much fun i had an felt when i was listening to shakira, and i swung around and let go and swung my ass back to my web cam. i had fun that day, making that silly clip of video that did get me some appreciated compliments
okay back to hanging up clothes and tx paper work. thanks. |
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color me now,
safe from all harm,
color me how, to tell this with charm,
speaking a name of his long good night kiss,
words to hold close, paints spilt down, coursing onward, lovers divine.
speak of me now, behead thy be true.
color me now, as i think only of you.
kiss me not,
lead me A side.
colors me now, whips of lashes with light.
bleed me down, with the colors of red.
pink marked blue, black, i do not dread.
color me once more.
keepeth me deep.
tomorrow i come home.
and for ever, no more to weep.
colors of the reddish, black and blue, let s me know
i can come home in my heart. to you.
okay, i am pleased with this writing. thank you for reading and sharing collar me.
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rest less girl,
sitting here,
rest less girl in this chair,
what does this girl have to fear
fear of thoughts? fear of death?
fears of Godless sins of theft?
demons of old call down deep.
sitting here in this chair,
what have i to fear?
fear the
heart of cold, shuttered thoughts.
fears of
thoughts targeted, within lusted, slaughtered parts,
parts of new, shattered down deep.
in to the dept of dying and un keep
keepeth me now, within my own self.
showered me down, bleeding to death.
bury me how?
as i just sit in this chair
burdened me down, with thoughts
that are dear.
dear within my own heart, of my world.
for ever seeking this restless girl.
restless girl look no more
restless girl, sitting here,
my own restless, girl you are home.
in this chair, in your heart you need have no fear.
okay i can accept the ending of this one now.
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just enjoying some of my favorite dance videos
here some are, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNSxNsr4wmA
and also this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUT5rEU6pqM&ob=av3e
and hmm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2c6jjkjdgQ
hmm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7OyWvyt6mI
also
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCLxJd1d84s&ob=av2e
hm this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWz9VN40nCA&ob=av2e
some good ones if you wanna bounce around and get some exercise!!
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whew long day to day. real tired, its good though, maybe i will be able to sleep/rest well. i had a long appointment today with my vocational rehabilitation counselor. i was gone from my dogs and home area from early morning till late this evening. when i finely get a job , i can hold , i am going to hire a dog walker or sitter to help me with my doggie companions. ( PS i had to use my yahoo to help me with the spell check, it doesn't work here for me Collar me worth a shit!) and if Collar me , does not like me saying that, then please would they either update or FIX. the spell checker! Thanks) |
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I shall see what this day brings my way. |
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hmmm,
I am just sitting here by this fire thinking over my life, thinking of what i have been doing with my self. and just thinking about, my vocational rehabiltation, and just thinking over, the things I have done, thinking about what i can do better at, and where I might
im prove. I am going to enjoy the fire and the stars now, i can see the big dipper!
it looks pretty.
Then i will try to seek my bed.
good night Collar me |
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I had a dream last night, last night MArch 16, 2012. i had a dream.
what I am writng right now, is real idid dream this for real.
I dreamed about my own slef and also about the man I use to call MAster. I call him Sir now. and he does still check me.
any way I had a dream that,
i was at some building waiting to apply for a job. I was dressed up very nicely too. I looked good and sharp!
Then in my dream. i was in a line standing near a wall. in my dream I remember filling some man press up against my ass and I could fill his cock!!
So in my dream, in a very sarcastic voice . I Said stop it!! to the man behind me! Then I stepped away from him up a couple of steps.
but in my dream this man had the nerve to walk up and press his cock against my ass again. right there in that LINE! so in my dream. I dreamed that I turned around in tending to put him in his place!
When I turned around in my dream. it was the Man I use to call Master standing behind me. I remember wishing in my dream that I could fall through the floor.
In my dream i was stammering like a idiot. Ifelt ashamed! I did start to drop on my knees right there. But Sir said NO! Stand there. Then my Sir said to me.
This was just to remind you whose you are! Then he walked away. And I turned back around and tended to my job interview.
I really did dream this too! I did. i wanted to write it down so I would not for get it.
Good night Collar me. |
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I enjoyed chatting with the night owl slaves and lady switches here tonight, Good night and thank you for your company. |
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i recorded a bed time story recording for the slaves/subs that like to play at being babies and little children. it didnt ecord the end of the book for me though. sorry |
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rest less thoughts,
within a restless body.
within a restless mind.
Good night Collar me. |
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walking through my dreams,
here we go down, some memory gone past.
who knows how much time, can surpass.
on ward of these thoughts, falling through the years.
we cannot shed any more tears,
tears of red, swollen. pus leaded.
ties. ties of rubbed, raw, blistered red, with not much thought.
lay me down, though here I to sleep.
pressured within. walking my dreams,
unto my own heart.
will i keep.
hmm what i just wrote, boy i usually do better than this?? oh well. i guess it will do for now.
good night Collar me.
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nice chatting this morning, its amazing how many people ask silly questions though, when the answers or right there on my profile. No I am not collared. But I am owned. So I still have rules and restrictions over me which I will and do obey! I also have a husband, No he is not the one I call Sir. Yes I am sassy. mouthy, and chatty. I also babble alot about nothing.
What I can say is that even though, i lean more toward being submissive. i can say i am a grown woman and i know what i like and dont like.
how about that? there it is blunt, straight and honest!
thanks and have a wonderful day!! |
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TORNADO WARNINGS AND WATCHES ARE BEING ANNOUNCED THROUGH OUT GA. PLEASE TAKE APPROPRIATE COVER AND PROTECT YOUR SELVES EVERY ONE!! |
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i have not written any thing in a while and this is what i came up with tonight. I like it. Please let me know what you think?
searching though my own mind of memories gone past.
walking down these halls of yesteryears
that do not last.
padding down stairs of screams down deep.
lessons learned under the whip or my own to keep.
pass me down, tie me hogged.
thrice around, now, and i may be your dog.
up we go, leashed upon my floor.
whose do say
if i may adore.
follow me through , leashed tightly a bound.
Good night my dear, your dreams or not unfound.
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playing online games and catching up on some chatting tonight.
what are you up too? |
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just thinking,
thinking of walking down in the dark,
thinking of darker dreams to keep me apart.
apart from those that love me so.
apart from who may not know.
not know the dreams locked in my heart.
not know, the thoughts of my beating heart.
who am i to say, what may?
who am i to wake and pray thank yous each day.
maybe my dreams and thoughts will never be so.
regardless, of this. i am thinking of you. and
just wanted you to know.
peace to all and good night. |
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Im watching some porn today and here are some videos that i found.
http://video.xnxx.com/video579973/group_test_training_of_slaves
this next one i thought was kind of cool, but i couldn't hear what they were saying.
http://video.xnxx.com/video670396/master_puts_metal_clamps_on_pussy_lips_and_nipples_of_two_horny_slaves_tied_to_wall
this next one looked fun to me,
i was watching the girl get tickled and remember one time back in 2004, i was at a person`s house for some playing and i misbe haved. and since im am married, i cannot let some one mark my skin up too bad, so this person i disobeyed. hog tied my ass and tickled me!! i cursed him out too. and i pissed on my slef and had to wash his floor.
but it was good creative punish ment.
http://video.xnxx.com/video594578/hogtied_bondage_training_of_female_slaves_and_sadism-3
this last video i want to share about has Mark Davis in it and it is my favorite video, of Dom/ Master/ slave videos I have ever seen, there is no actaul big deal in it , i just love to listen to the way he talks to and guides some of the girls.
http://video.xnxx.com/video655823/bound_and_hanged_brunette_spanked
http://video.xnxx.com/video668825/hanged_bound_blonde_gets_fingered
http://video.xnxx.com/video745777/bound_trinity_post_gets_flogged_and_stripped
I think i have posted enough. i need to get back to task at hand.
Thank you for sharing.
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i will be away for the week end. so you may not see ,me log in here at all until Sunday evening. |
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let me be me,
fires asunder, fires of pain,
soul searching, findings, what have i gained?
lashes of red, pink Scarlet and blues,
blackened with night shadows of dew.
who holds me now, to thee be my red.
boldly, throwing the lash over thy head.
plunder me down, within thy, folds of deep.
ropes and lashes of dreams , while i sleep.
let me be me, for whom, may i say.
my bed to die for has already been made.
more babble i know, thanks for sharing my time with me, collar me. |
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Happy Valentines Day to Sir. Happy Valentines Day to Collar me.
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Thank you for the compliments on the video in my journal of me dancing and shaking my ass under that short skirt. I had alot of fun doing that video entree. I will do another soon.
I just have to have enough privacy for it to happen. |
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getting off line for now, take care collar me folks |
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im just wanting to chat/talk today and hang out alitle bit. hmmm.
i got talk with my friend hismanegirl recently. she is a special one.
i made a new friend also of roseinblooms. she looks like a beautie in her pictures.
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here i am again, cannot sleep. im not feeling well, i did have fun shaking my butt in my vid i did here the other day.
<sighs> i need to write a story some time, beside all these yearning poems i have been posting.
any suggestions or thoughts? |
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crack me down, lay me out
windows of pain are what it si about,
flood me within my pain soaking mind.
might nver i be left behind.
mirror me now, and show no doubt.
flooding within , i feel my heart beating about.
throbbing to the beat of non ending pain.
bleed me again. it has no gain.
THIS ONE IF KIND OF OFF, BUT I FELT LIKE WRITING IT SO I DID. |
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enjoying some porn for a littlle while.
this one is kind of so/so
http://video.xnxx.com/video1810397/lesbian_bdsm_bdsm_bondage_slave_femdom_domination
the next one is better,it moves kind of fast. but the girls are well quite tiny and quite beautiful.
http://video.xnxx.com/video1830938/slut_is_tied_like_a_hog_immobilized
this last one of a blond in some hog tie i enjoyed this one alot
http://video.xnxx.com/video1747232/sex_slave_tied_like_hog_and_immobilized |
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hot soup and herbal tea, warm blankets and some warm socks, May i please find some sleep, from this long day.
Good Night Collar Me |
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blending and blurring, mixed and mingled all a gory,
time to bless, my soul with another untold truth of
a pass time wished up story.
(just me babbling is all) |
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come to me, my own,
as i come home,
walking the ways down my mind,
through this endless, cloudless divine,
hope of new, ropes of bad.
tearing papers. of truth i had.
wish i fell, wish i fall.
who`s to say if i have a wish at all?
coming home, unto my truth,
blinding me of chains, formed in.
no one can take my key, lockith, within.
binding me tight, holding my own.
welcome to me.
in my mind i am home. |
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Good Night to my self and Good Night to Collar me. |
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sing to me now. what may have been speak of me now, be there no end. speak of thy foe, friend, near and far. tell me of those, lying upon lashes and scars. let be thy rod fall true upon thy side. speak of thy woes willowing inside. seeking and learning still of slumbers of deceit. Maketh me whole, finding me a cheat. Please taketh me home back unto me. Never for getting those whom I. Hurt true unto thee. |
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o.xnxx.com/video1620433/slave_humiliation_bdsm_bondage_slave_femdom_domin
i like this video i found, im not crazy about the golden shower, the girl gets, but i like her wearing the blind fold, collar and leash. |
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hmmm who knows what ,ay be next. |
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been busy these past few days. i did get a job. not saying where or what though.
will say i have to travel quite a aways to get there. so i am gone all day these days.
jut wanted to drop in and post and say hello, so hello Collar. me!
bye for now, i have to head out to work. |
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3:45 am and here i am again. some night i rest varely well other nights hardly at all
oh well i do and will at least make my self lie down a few hours.
good night Collar me |
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well another day is here. what will it bring? what ifs, maybes and should haves cannot undo past mistakes nor mend any of them.
i can only keep my self learning, and do some thing with my self.
by for now |
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seek within me,
a running stream,
find within me darken dreams,
dreams of the past,
dreams of the old.
within my mind fantasies seek to unfold.
lusting thoughts,
of a dark diluted heart.
hearts strumming a spatter and never to part.
come within me unto my mind.
it is quite chaotic. i warn you.
it is never divine.
dark twist and turns,
confusion galore.
mind shattering brain storms,
can never be stored.
who can say, what may be.
look within me,
you never know what u may see.
my mind is confusion, of days gone on past.
my mind is my own, sanction of vast.
Vast endless thoughts, of blood , fire and spit.
heating away the heart`s every beat.
seek within me, never to be yours.
fold unto my arms. for ever more.
forever more of this earth, dear with out my soul.
what is it worth?
( THIS ONE IS WEIRD , BUT I WROTE IT, AND I LIKE IT. ) TAKE CARE COLLAR ME.
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how i love having some place that i can write what is in side of me. once the words come they just flow and flow, some of my writings hardly even make sense. but some of them seem quite beautiful to me once i get them out. |
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touch me not,
vow to be whole,
teach me not,
yet is untold.
hold me to,
truths yet to be said.
hear me now,
as we have yet to be lead.
down this road drags whips
and chains a gore.
down sending a ravenous whore.
whose to say, she is yet undone.
regardless, of the others loose ended tongue.
forks of truth, words of fault.
withering along ropes, a tangle
with lustful boundless thoughts.
touch me not, with thy hand.
use in stead thee whip as I stand.
curl it high. ring it true.
thriving around my skin, red ,
markings of black and blue.
slithering within, my unmarked soul.
yearnings, i have yet to unfold.
Streaking upon life`s unopened skin.
dancing among the flesh, my friend.
behold the beauty, of the lash.
feel within. a soul searching clash.
lovers of skin, lovers of fate.
stinging darkness, lovers of hate.
cover me carefully blistered of true.
within my own mind.
will i always hold you.
(sheez, i worked on this one along time tonight. Lord have mercy. Im tired too, i hope i can sleep. i shall try.)
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walk with me.
down my mind.
what you may see is undefined.
who is me that is inside,
in side the recesses of my mind.
turns and twist and tunnels of unknown.
what me may find, is yet untold.
yearnings of love, lust, and yet hate.
whose to say what fate, may dictate.
walk with me down this path of my own mind.
within me we go down darkly paths of lost time.
Here i go yet again.
How will this end?..
why it has yet to even begin.
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amazing how many lazy dumbasses just do not read profiles.
lord have mercy. |
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Good Day Collar me.
What does this day hold for me.
I shall see. |
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here are some nice scening videos that i found.
http://video.xnxx.com/video548221/sexy_lesbian_bdsm_play
http://video.xnxx.com/video783361/bdsm_blonde_its_really_hard |
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silly me. im cleaning my home hanging out here. playing with my dogs also, ( in a nonsexual manner)
thinking also about my up coming vocational training classes. i hope they go well. im nervious and excited about that. |
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enjoying some privacy while i have it,
what are you doing? |
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tick tock tick tock tick tock. the clock keeps going no matter what
i a m thinking of placing a short vid in my journal of me blistering my own little white ass, making it pink and white.
its 4:am now, i should be sleeping hmmm i will go back and lay down at least.
tc Collar me. |
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here I am up again. some one tell me to get my ass in the bed! hmm? |
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turn the page
looking in the mirror,
watching what i learn,
teaching to ask for help, teaching to reach beyond that comfort zone,
old days of old habits cannot be any more.
falling back only brings you down to the floor.
dusty dirty filth of days gone by.
turning the page,
WHO CARES ? IF IT MAKES U CRY.
grow up girly, this may be yet your day?
chin up my dear one, never too late to pray.
Turning these pages each and every day.
Never one to stay the same.
changes come on and bring with it the pain.
pain of figuring out there is nothing to gain.
moving on down and changing the scene.
who is to say, what life may bring?
turn the page now, as i lay me down.
Good Night world. its lost and no wheres to be found. |
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enjoying the time to my self, while i have it. |
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Celebrating the New Year Eve/ Night with my dogs sitting around a fire.
as for the perverts
I love my dogs in a nonsexual manner! Only.
Happy New Year Collar Me. |
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here i stand all in one,
take me now, it has been done.
down the lane, of life`s long past.
hear me now,
this cannot last.
down this lane.
of old and new.
shouldn't they know,
HELL U CANT FILL THOSE SHOES.
take me through your bloody tears.
carry me through these useless years.
years of old, years for the young.
Has life even begun?
Here I stand, one to one.
With my own self some thing is be gun. (just me) |
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come walk with me
come walk with me my dear,
come and walk down yesterdays stairs.
down past the tears and blood we will go.
down through the darkness and tunnels, of old.
walk with me down tomorrows path.
share within me a passionate after math.
through out the years of letting me be.
thought sayeth my heart to never see.
walk with me once more
along life`s endless shore.
weep no more of my love, my dear
all those useless empty promises of tears.
take my hand and let it be true.
walk with me, as we go on through. |
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i just wanted to say, i like some of the nicknames they use here in chat. like one called unquietthoughts, isnt that most of our mind sets some times? and there is one called shadowslider in there.
i like that one because it reminds me how i feel some times when im writing and i just slide from thought to thought and from role to role.
i am going 2 lay back down, it will be sunrise soon.
good night collar me. |
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thoughts seem never ending, i sit here day after day pondering over should have beens and what ifs.
those are no good.
have to take time to review the mirror and say here is what we shall do today!
slithering in and out of the bondage and submissive life style kind of sucks. but when the vanilla world is part of your own flesh and blood family, then you must make due. hmmmm
thank you for sharing with me.
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just writing, and always thinking about what ifs, maybes and i wishes
there is never ever any going back though, once you say or do something,
u cannot undo it no matter what.
im going to bed now, Merry Christmas and Good night |
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tangle me of love,
searing my heart, drowning my fears,
throwing my soul, down yesterdays years,
hearing my voice, but no one to call,
yesterday`s love, yesterdays fall.
down so we go
tomorrow may we keep.
today's love, and yet still do you seek?
another s ones past, to keep and hold me safe.
no it wont last,
another moments hesitate.
bring me home, within loves fastened arms.
keep me safe within,
the tangle of this love.
hold me close for it, never has been scorned.
scorn me not, but please see me through
this tangle of love speaks only truth.
truth of the angels,
truth of the God.
letith be their love, sureth
tangled above.
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MERRY CHRISTMAS COLLAR ME. EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE MANY WANNA BE FOLKS HERE. THIS WEB SIGHT AND GOTTEN ME THROUGH SOME ROUGH AND ALSO FUN TIME OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS. IT ALLOWS ME A PLACE TO VENT, BABBLE, OR JUST SIT AND THINK. I HAVE GOTTEN SOME SWEET ONLINE FRIEND`S AS WELL.
MERRY CHRISTMAS HISMANEGIRL!! |
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my brain just goes on and on
rain bows of thought,
thundering clouds
look out with holding out your doubts,
for ever know that love may seeketh you.
finding me now. and let it be through.
through we are done, down for our knees
bow thy head lower for thou to keepith him pleased.
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I had a good day out with my dogs today even though it was rainy. I also saw a picture here of three girls with thier asses up in the air. This made me wonder if I maybe should take a picture of my bitches, ( my girl dogs that is) with thier asses in the air and post it on my profile? hmm?? whatcha think?
giggles |
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LORD HAVE MERCY, SOME PEOLPLE ARE SO LAZY!! ASKING ME WHAT DO YOU SEEK? WHAT DO U SEEK? DUH, DUMBASSES IT IS RIGHT THERE IN MY PROFILE! SHEEEZ!! |
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Thoughts afire,
bleach my body, through my mind they reach,
never to know how it may keep.
why to seek , why no rest
did think, it would come to past?
tell me no lies, for I see your deceit.
One never knows, whom another may keep.
look up in to my heart, as u check your own.
broken hearts sooner or later will come home.
bring it back so they may say.
it never stops pulsing this way.
desires of change, quiet thoughts, sought for rest.
the mind will not give to that type of test.
raging through, fiery thoughts have I. Perhaps shall this thoughts seeking may Die?
no not knowing how many to keep. Whose to say what my thoughts may next seek?
* some of these writings do may much sense to me, but some of them seem quiet beautiful to me. so i just write and let the words come * |
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Yes Sir, I do not care if any one thinks i am answering my own self or not. I wil not ever change my pass word. i know if any thing dis pleases you, you will remove it. |
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I am watching you and hearing your words. Time heals all wounds...
MS |
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flowing from within, red heated, madden passion, churning within, lust built, up and spilling over in to seas of intensity beyond me.
spoken, words of sorry, gult and sin. i will work on this one more a little later. i am soo angry right now. heat seething, fury heating my thoughts, mind and heart.
thoughts , dark, sinful and hate. death, beyond others dreams, to come and seeketh, me unto, fold me. within my own mind.
breath. find calm. no one know me, as i do, my child, come unfold little one of mine own mind. together, we know this heart secret is within, the soul , locked up deep.
within my heart. locked, sure tonight.
im okay. things can always be worse. the world is not grey.
im done now and alittle more calm. but not much. |
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within, hold me, never u know, whom may fall,
pull me and bring me home, to your heart may we go?
within this locked, womb of hearts beating to never know, never the love of treasures the earth has to hold, secured within your own.
soul, of hearts sinning past, lasting to you arms of night, may your past remain.
good night, my lusting, heart, maybe the river break your down.
tonight the past around may never be found.
this doesnt make any sense to me, and i wrote! it, hmm. i felt like writing it out so there it is. hmm go figure, guess im crazy A well as a piece of crap. go figure. oh well. |
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hate,
dark, seething, searching, hallowing you out and within your own self.
can u feel it? growing? spreading with wings of unknown.
seeking within us as death unfolds. uncurl your arms and stretch your toes.
seeketh toward, the nightness. of the death of light. darkness within our morning of flight.
forever within , let me hold you untold, for ever within my love, speaks of no more.
WOW WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? ME HMM? IM NOT GOING TO ERASE it either. im going to leave it, ijust felt like writing and that is what came out. hmm. weird hmm, maybe i can lay down now, i will go try.
i just reread it, and there has got to be a bit more. im going to go try and rest for now though, so Good Night Collar me
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Lord have mercy some of the folks here are just PLAIN DUMB ASSES!! |
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i do like coming here for the chat rooms, and i like to play the tick tack toe game. i like to journal here too and ilike talking to a friend of mine called hismanegirl.
ijust dont wanna fuck up any more, i have been in and out of this life style for several years. so i know what the fuck im suppose to do and what is expected. as some of you switches and Doms have seen , some of you i have answered , now and at least said hello. i am not looking for any Doms though. im still not. i may not ever! from my last screw up, and i know hismanegirl will not like me saying this, but i do not trust my self right now, to not let some one else down! some way. so better for me to lay in my own bed that i have made then to drag others in with me. no thank you to that.
thank you fo reading. im going to go play tick tack toe now. |
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perhaps this one begins to learn
S
maybe |
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walk it on.
skin 2 skin, thick on thick. choking love diving and twining. depth through depth with endless rope, tightening, searching. for future`s hope.
unknowing the mind`s turns and twist. some things cease to exist.
thickening shadows of grey, black, and night, shine right through, your darken heart`s
swarthy light.
secrets within aheart.
A secret of regret, once betrayed, though you never for get.
11/30/2011 at 10:37 p,m |
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i know that no body will probably read this, but i wanted to say.
look here you other Dominants and male switches. i already fucked up with my Sir! Do you think? im stupid enough to seek another? sheez! Yes I am a mouthy piece of shit! But i can be. I am only answerable to God and my own self for now! That is how it will remain!!
Now if you happen to be switch lady! A woman, and u might like to meet. Then please do let me know. I will gladly eat your pussy , while you decorate my ass! With your crop or paddle! Only those truly in to BDSM know a good spanking/ beating can help relax you. Thank you for reading.
s
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Happy Thanks Giving to Collar Me. |
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i know i ned to get my ass in the bed, i took some Tylenol pm, i just have some thoughts. i am getting good at keeping my own self company. here lately,
i go for walks, i work with and talk to my dogs. i sit bye the river and pray and think about things. i also go for long walks that take me toward town so that i can look for more work. im still not ready to look in the mirror yet. it will come though, it will come.
well good night,
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focus on,each day, place one foot in front of the other, place your chin up, keep learning,
the days will keep comingand going regardless, so walk on, make a path. just tread through. doesnt make sense hmm?
thats okay.
Good Night Collar me |
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day by day, tick, by tick, hour by hour, it all goes by, the only thing you can actually rewind is rope, string, a music tape, movies, and things like that.
have a nice day Collar me. |
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the days are ticking, bye. proceeding onward, no matter what kind of wishing, no one can ever turn back the clock hands, always on ward. learning yes. but never forgetting and never will for get some things.
Wonder what im talking about? so do i. |
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it is eye opening to also learn about your self. ( me that is, as my own self)
that regardless who says what. regardless who points what finger, regardless how the world turns, or what ever may come. i do think, (ME) i do think and believe that i do have a good heart! but unforntunatly i also have strong lousy, human nature. Good heart, but sucky ass human being. hmmm |
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kind of sucks , when the only one standing in the way of trust and loyalty is the one in the mirror staring back at you. |
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i wanted to share the writing that i did tonight.
here it is i call it
What say you?
do you think it is okay to walk away? do you think you can say? this all swell , things will be fine. no you may not, it always comes back on dime. souls touching out, piercing a heart, bleeding, beating and pound apart. bleed me fine, bleed me thin. who to say with such sin. life hurts and love , oh my God! it is pain. When u do not let you self trust enough to reach for help, you loose every thing there was to gain.
Walk back to the mirror and look back in for you are not yet done my friend. this writing does not have its end. for now, for the minute we will lay this to rest. the night is proceeding and the soul inside, knows best, Yes we will have to walk to the mirror and look back in , but for tonight this writing shall have its end.
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no other way, Cuts, ropes, whips and chains, a outside world only in my way. close my eyes to those I keep. they do not know, nor can they peep. manacles climb high, raising my arms to the sky. my eyes are closed tight. Because, You know it feels so right! can you see this sets me free. Free to be me. free to hurt, free to bleed, free to not hide, unknown needs. hurting is no shame. It is part of this dark game. they turns their heads from me. my world is unknown. sweet pain of the dancing lash that helps the bleeding flow. touching, caressing, as i writhe and moan. darkness within me has a home. beyond another day . i do not know. the world out side, offers regrets of the old. look deep in my eyes. locked in the depths of my mind. its is a world of my own. No one can take it. No other can call it her home. It is is my retreat. A secret held deep. No person holds the key except one. Keys for when I return. deep within as I yearn. no one can touch me here. this is where my soul is free. deep within my own private pain. the red does set me free.
And since it is my own, for ever shall it be!
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HAPPY THANKSGIVNG COLLAR ME FOLKS. PLEASE BE SAFE. |
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the spell check here does not work any more, and the typing is too freaking small sheez
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An Anniversary in my family today. I have to prapare the place where I stay for some celebration in the evening today. I will see how successful I can be. I will try. |
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going to take my dogs for a hike today,
take care collar me
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Soemthing happened today. I cannot really say much of what it was that happened. Because I would be breaking the law about confidentiality. I want to say my part. I want to get how what I am feeling. So I can try to let go of it and move on. I have such a bad habit of belittling my self over things I have done, and bad f*ck up mistakes, I have made. This is one good thing about having a dominate Master. He can beat or punsh me some other way, and it makes it easier to let go of it. I will post more later please. I am being called.
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Master is not commanding me to do any thing here. So for my self. I will leave my profile posted. But I will only be here once in while. Not nearly as much as I use too. I am opening some doors in my life that have been shut for awhile. I am reopening the real ME. And its fun letting her back out and watching her grow.
Because though us slaves, may be considered no better then shit, we may thought to be only sluts, and worthless property. When it boils down to real life vanilla or lifestyle wise then we are still HUMAN. sorry but its true. take care collar me folks.
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Have a Safe and Happy Fourth of JUly
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You may not see my profile as active as it use to be. I may take longer also to answer emails. I have found other activities to fill my time with besides lurking on the internet. Those things I have found are helping friends, spending more time with my parents, spending more time with my own pets, and volunteering at humane societies. The busier I keep my self the happier I feel. Less time to think about things that way also! Be Well, Collar me folks and take care.
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I was able to watch some one work their dog a few minutes this evening. I love to watch this person put the dog through paces. This person just shines and glows when they are doing some thing they love doing. i would have liked to have viewed more. Perhaps If I mind my P`s and Q`s so to say mayhap I might get to see a whole work out one evening.
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This morning I did a fun favor for a special friend. After that I went some where that I have not been too in a long time.
I visited the humane society. I stayed for one hour. I use to hang out at the HS= humane society weekly and help. It seems over the past year I have got caught up with other things not so good and neglected that part of my life. Animals give me peace. They are fun, some are serious just like we can be. Some of them are just plain hard headed. Also like we can be. An animal will accept you as you are if you just treat them right. They do not care how you smile, walk, talk, dress, or act.
I spent some time walking some of the big dogs. One of them dragged me alittle.
Big dogs have always been my favorite. All my life. I also held a big fat yellow cat that would not stop meowing. I held him abit and it helped him calm down. They let me play with one big dog that was a rottweiler mixed with something? I am not sure what. While I was there and I walked around . I saw a pit bull. Pure Breed. I asked to see the papers. I also saw a male pure breed German Shepard. I looked at him too. He also watched me. I could see those eyes following me when I walked past his pen. Its sad and a shame. That some people just do not think about life when that cute little puppy grows up.
I have seen it over and over. A person will see a puppy and think it is so cute!
Then when it grows up and you can actually do something with it!! The person cannot handle the dog, so they dump it or get rid of it.
When they should have just not gotten the dog in the first place, simple as that!
Thank you for listening.
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Trigger WARNING!!!! possible Trigger....
Tears of red tears of red run from eyes, eyes that close and cannot cry, tears of red may set me free. why do these tears of red come about to be? Tears of red come to be, they think that they can set me free. tears of red come to run down my cheeks, because the regular tears are no where to be seen. these tears are locked in side , inside where they hide. tears hide some where deep. I shake with the need to
want to weep. I don’t ever want my own moma to die. maybe? Maybe then this is why? I cannot cry. i think back in to memories deep, back in to my mind where you dare not peep. locked back there are memories of old deaths that hurt my own mother so. i think that as im walking this path. i am finding, that the reason is, tears of red come to my eyes. because death of old has left me dry.
I was just thinking about things in,life. I was remembering things from the past. I just felt like writing and what you just read is what came out.
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when you find some thing good , do not mess it up. If you do mess it up. Things are never and will never be the same.
i wrote this back before i started fucking up. i cant even follow my own fucking advice. thats no good, good heart but sucky worthless human. i cannot take my own life, for this shit i have done. too many people would be hurt, and there is no telling what would happen to my dogs. |
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took my dogs to the river today, it was fun watching them run through the water, i sat on a rock and put my feet in the water. it was nice and cool there too. a nice short break from the heat of the day.
went to school to day too. have to pass those classes!!
bye for now. collar me
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********************TRIGGER > WARNING******************************** > > the red dancer comes when i am in pain. she dances > round and round my veins. rivers rise and flow > free,. let the red dancer dance on for me. > > the red flows over and pours down my hand. i llook > at the dancer she is mighy and grand! the red > dances on down my legs. yet i must not let it touch > the ground, the red dancer is beautiful and unique. > she dances slow or fast and she can even dance deep. > > the red dancer flashes sliver and sharp. you cant > miss her ! even if she dances in the dark. > > the red dancer comes to set me free at times like > these it is easy to follow her lead. > > the red dancer dances on and on. the pulse beats > and red flows mighty and strong. > > the red dancer is one whom will never leave me > just to be. the red dancer dances sharp and lets > the red flowing set me free. > > Red dancer you are faithful and true. yet at times > like these i wonder do i still need > you? sadly speaking some times yes I feel I still do.
thank you red dancer for your song. thank you red dancer you are never wrong. >
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uh oh ! I am up kind of late are`nt i?
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Spent time with my dogs again, just walked and played with them, and went running, by my self, some times solitude is good, it gives us time to think.. good night collar me
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Back from the river, dogs were fun to watch, seeing them run, play and get wet, they had fun.
i shall be headed to work soon, take care collar me folks.
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Going out for a hour or so before I go to work.
spending some time with my dogs.
Taking them to the river to let them run. It feels good watching them run and enjoy their selves.
Bye 4 now collar me
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in regards to my post that I called reckon, I appreciate your responses. but I am not looking for any body`s sympathy okay? Thank you. |
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Reckoning
Lay me out, tie me wide.
Caress my skin with your belt,
touch me up with bleeding red stripes, hold me still rubbing me down by a beating in the night.
the song of the whip, the whisper of the canes, roaring red paddles as they take thier reign.
Stripes red criss and crossing over her skin glowing crimson with the light.
Head is lowered, eyes to the floor. As we go through this once more.
You are a slave. You know your place! So child do not place yourself in your Master`s disgrace.
Written about me. I do know my place. I am sorry does not really mean shit. It cannot fix a wrong. I have nothing more to say here this day. Thank you for reading. |
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I spent time with my Master this evening. I watched him in session with a guest he had. I love watching Master work the whip, paddles, crops, cuffs, and toys on her. I like watching his face and watching his arms move and flex as he would move around her. I love seeing my Master do something he enjoys. I like for him to be happy. When my Master is happy then I am content. I feel good and secured. When he is not happy. I wish I could split my self in half one to stay with him to secure his happiness and the other half would go about my other parts of life. Any way, Master just looked really good in session with his guest. He is strong beautiful Master. There was one time tonight when he was holding her to his chest, was a beautiful embrace. Just passionate and beautiful.
I loved watching get a hold of her hair. and Run his hands over her body. She came alive when Master was fucking her. My God that woman was just about to buck him off. I got to eat her pussy, She has sweet tasting beautiful pussy lips, and its all sweet and creamy in side.
And by Master being busy with his work and guests he is able do his scenes/ sessions which help him relax and relieve stress. He helps me still be able to see him with out revealing that to my family.
Thank you Master love and hugs |
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I strongly recommend visiting this web sight. That I have posted here in my journal. Its moving, beautiful, just there is not a way to explain it unless you have been there your self. There is just something special when Master and slave reach that connection. The world just for alittle while falls away and there no one else but us.
here is the web sight: http://aslavesheart.com/
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Just thinking and putting thoughts together. I have been thinking about a some things. That I wish to talk about with my Master. Later this week when I see him, i will ask permission to do so. I do not consider what I have been thinking of bad. I just think I need to talk about feelings and thoughts that are of Master and me, with him. So I shall reign in my tongue and patience and do so. Thank you. <smiles>
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I get to see my Master for alittle while this evening before, before I go to work for the night! I am pleased and ohhhh so excited.
It does not matter what I am doing cleaning , pleasuring him in some manner, or pleasuring a guest for him.
I am headed hi s way now. Good night Collar me dot com.
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Today Master gifted me with a special collar. Its beautiful and protected so I can wear it all the time.
Today on the way back to my where I stay . It was raining, Hard, some deer crossed the road in front of me. I hit one and slid in to a ditch. For a few minutes I could`nt remember where I was going. That was kind of spooky. I did get my wits back. I called the police then called my the person that I stay with. The truck will need some work. My head hurts. That could be from me crying so much because I feel guilty. If my head still hurts in the morning then I will take my self to a doctor.
I am pleased and feel blessed with the collar from my Master.
Yet I feel sad and angry with my self for an accident that I could have avoided. Thank you for listening . good night collar me
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I have been busy these past few days. i had my exams at school. I have been helping my husband with his work. my own home where I live with my husband, back in the state that it needs to be in. I have had some time with my parents too. Just been busy such is life at times.
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I am up watching BDSM porn again.
Here is one that I liked. The rope work is pretty good,there are some wax scenes also. I like the girl being fucked by that machine tied up in a box too.
http://video.xnxx.com/video111917/bdsm_slave_at_home
In the next one that I liked I thought the bondage and weights were interesting. The hook in her butt spooks me alittle, but the hog tie looks great!
http://video.xnxx.com/video110945/big_tits_tortured_wictim
The last one I watched had interesting device bondage. But there was lots of tickling. I am glad my Master has not done any tickle torture on me. I would be squealing and screaming and kicking like crazy!
heres the addie http://video.xnxx.com/video149090/a_stretched_and_a_chained_slave
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Master has been viewing and deleting my mail and viewing list.
I smile and welcome him.
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Just saying THANK YOU very much to the all the people that have sent me compliments on the short video on my profile. Thank you to those folks for your compliments, for saying My Master is lucky. for saying I look hot, and even for your suggestions and ideas. Thank you. Have a good day if possible.
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Had a wonderful time visiting my Master yesterday any time and every time with him is exceptional.
My Master will be busy with family tonight. So I have asked my husband to take me out. He said yes! I am excited about this and due to need for remaining discrete I will refrain from saying where we are going. i though am going to DAnce and Dance and Dance! I love music and I love to move with it!
Take care collar me!
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I did a new video introduction. I am still only posing and waving. But its better then the first one. |
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got the sticky key problem solved. < sticks my tongue out at every body because no one offered any suggestions> :P
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HOW DO i turn off the sticky keys< it will not let me type numbers please help me out here some body?
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I am having a hard time settling down to go to sleep. I wanted to share two of my favorite bdsm videos that I like to watch. here is the first one
http://video.xnxx.com/video131112/extreme_maledom_bdsm
This one shows clips of Mark Davis dominating different girls. In the video I like how he keeps talking to them. He reminds one or two of them that she needs to breath and relax. He uses that cane a few times two. YIKES. He also bust a few little asses till they are nice and red. and Boy what a fuck he gives them, hmmmm. I also like how he just lifts some of them up and turns them how he wants them.
The next one is also Mark Davis http://video.xnxx.com/video225350/my_sex_slave
I like all the kissing in that one, and the face contact. The bondage is pretty good. That hook in her ass makes me nervous though. I also like watching Mark pet and talk to the girl like she is his little pet. Makes me feel good to see it.
I am going to attempt to quiet down and sleep. I know i am tired. I just have to settle down. take care Collar me dot com
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I just have some feelings that I want tot alk about tonight. A journal is for speaking freely with out fear of discipline unless you are aslave and do something stupid like insult your Master or Mistress.
This isnt what i wanted to talk about though.
I was able to spend time with my Master this evening. Every time I am with him I am at my happiest peaks, yet also when I am with him there are brief moments of torn feelings. I am very very lucky to have the Master I have. I know this. I have ahusband also. My Master knows i do. He already told me after we first met he told me not to do something stupid and leave him. UNLESS I TRULY! TRULY WITH OUT ANY DOUBTS WANT TOO. There are times I would like to leave my husband. But he loves me. Master loves me too. but its different. With my husband i have school and a chance for family that means children, and I have all my animals that ilove dearly even though, they are what Master calls MUTTS. And with Master I have servitude which is part of my heart. I have a damn good looking beautiful man to admire. i get praise and uplifting. I wish i could cut my self in half. I have a foot in each world. I belong in each world too. Some of it hurts. feeling wise that is. I do not have the heart to just cold cut leave my husband. With such a understanding loving Master, I do not have too. Yet I know with my husband in the picture I do not give my Master all that he needs. That is not a good feeling.I know it boils down to me, What do I want? I love both of them. the way I feel. i would rather, ONLY IF i HAD TOO. I would rather do with out BOTH THEN HAVE neither. I will remind my self once more though. I am okay. I have a loving, understanding Master. So I need to remember that I am safe. Thank you for listening to me babble. i am done for now.
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I have not journalled for a few days I have just been busy with life stuff and thinking a lot. I like to keep busy as much as possible. That way i do not have to think.
do you also try to avoid your own thoughts?
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just checking in while i have a chance, hello Master love and hugs and kisses to you. Sir
hi collar me folks. |
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I am going out of town for a few days so I may not be able to reply to your messages. Due to need of discretion for Master and my self, I may not say where i am going. Take care collar me folks.
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spent a couple of minutes with my Master this evening via messenger, I feel good in my heart now, after this, my tonight at work wil be pretty good. off 2 work i go goodnight to my Master and good night to collarme
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other then having to bust my dog`s ass, im doing okay, doing house chores, keeping my phone turned on at all times, even when sleeping, in case my Master calls me. packing also, because my husband and I leave for a few days on Thursday morning.
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on the 23rd i posted about one of my dog`s tearing up his water bowls/buckets, well that same day, i did spank him after i cought him in action. he has left that bowl alone until today, so as soon as i catch him and i am watching him, he is going to get his butt blistered again.
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another day, i need to sleep for a few hours, then i will see what task i can accomplish.
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exam time is approaching. been studing like crazy to day, did some house work too.
i am going out of town with my husband on thursday morning right after work his sister is having surgery done on her heart.
too bad i can not put my Master in my pocket and take him with me as my secret. <giggles> shhhhhhhhh ok off to work to i go nit nit collar me
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got some house hold chores done, now it soff to bed I go for a few hours i go to school and work tonight. tc and ty collar me
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mixed feeling this evening,
i am upset with my self because I think I may have displeased my Master.
on the other hand I am relieved that I got the car out of the mud with out having to involve my husband.
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I got the fucking car stuck in some mud, i have been trying to get it back on the drive way, when my husband gets home and sees this, he is going to be really angry, pissed. I cannot really blame him. but the thing is I will hear about this for weeks, and even years later, he dont just let things go. I am really upset and frustrated. if i had the money i would call A freaking tow truck, where are your so called friends when u need one, its bull shit.
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cM probally things im a crazy slave after all the writings i have done today.
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i am frustrated , i am about to beat one of my Dog `s ass es. he keep tearing up his water bowls, and the dumb shit has toys, so what is his problem? sheez any dog trainer got any suggestions? before i wait catch him in action then spank his ass!
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just a little reminder to the Dominants that do not seem to know how to read a profile.
I am not allowed to reply to your messages. So I am not going to. I will leave your message for 24 hours in case it is for my Master. But the following day it will be deleted.
I have permission to chat with slaves, switches, and ladies. Thank you
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getting my ass off line for a while , have to run some errands and get some house chores done, regardless of any sinus infection, <sighs>
take care collar me dot com sls
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I gave one of my cats a bath today. It was some esle too. i have had to bring her inside because she is in heat. The male cat that was trying to mate with her is too big. this little female cat isnt even one year old yet. I am going to get her fixed as soon as possible. It just cost so much money. sheez,
right now her fur is shiny, but she looks like a little wet rat.
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stupid sinus infections suck, and i have one now, makes it hard to breath through my nose. yuck
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A bleeding rose. shes quiet and bleeding inside, do you not know. her heart hurts with where she must go. think of your self people will say, yet this causes her mental pain it is just not her way. some one tell her`s come, let me take you away. do you not know she thinks within, that my roots are here. in my home, this si where i grow, my famlly. i care for you, yet i will not go. in one hand is one who loves her as she is yet doest know her secrets within.
in her other hand she also holds another heart. this heart she also hold does know her yearnings and secret parts, this heart though, what it doesn't know, is what she is like her own, she feels like it hurts , this love that bleeds and feels like it may tear her apart.
i would say she is beautiful like a little rose with fragile petals falling off as she goes on trying to sort through roots that lead to perhaps a healing path.
she thinks to her self , at times like this i feel like a rose loosing its petals.
the red petals falling to ground are just like blood, dropping, and running down. trailing, onward down it goes. drops of crimson , red pooling. such a beautiful sight.
I bleed to release and feel at peace. As the rose relaxes its steams and slumber it seeks.
she thinks to her self. i maybe like a bleeding rose. but also like that rose i do have some thorns.
So i will tuck my petals back in. i will stand up and show this world my happy face. I will keep my roots in my home ground. I will love both those hearts in my hands.
My stem will grow strong as I feel out. I have the strenth i need within. I just hope this bleeding love of arose will not end.
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Internet has been down alot here where I dwell. Nothing is ever down when I am home at my Master`s feet.
Any way I will get in here and journal as I am able and reply to messages from slaves and ladies only.
Thank you Collarme dot com. |
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Today was`nt too bad. School was okay exams will be soon. I go to work in afew more minutes. So I shall see how the night goes.
Master I did change my message on my cell phone the same day you commanded it Sir. <winks>
Good night to my Master and good night Collarme.com.
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What have I done today? Hmmm I walked my dogs. I watched some porn giggles. Loves watching the machines and bondage stuff.
I got some laundry done. I slept enough to have decent night at work.
Also I took care of my husband, Yes I said husband. My Master knows he exist.
This is enough babbling for now. Do you not think so?
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Okay let`s see what this day holds in store for me. |
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time to go to work, another day another dollar.
good night Master. good night Collar Me.
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Spent the day with my parents. we watched Clash of the Titans, We ate at the Golden Corral, Then we went for short walk in the park. I love my parents much. My parents are practically my heart. I will not give them up until God calls them both home.
My profile shows that I am married. Yes I am. My Master is understanding of this. I am lucky to be blessed with such a Master.
My parents are in their young 70`s. All of their children including me are here in GA for them, in case they need us.
I am just feeling strongly about this I am sorry.
My mother and father would not understand my rope nor enjoyment of serving a Master. I do not try to tell them any more. I love my parents. Both of them and I will make sure I am always available for both of them.
I will stop for now. Thank you for listening to my whining.
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Good morning world. giggles, I am think of my Master. i am taking my parents to see the clash of the titans today.
tc CM
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back, <giggles> my dogs are great company. <smiles>
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Loaded up my dogs instead, we are going to go to the park and hike abit. nothing that some working out cannot fix hmm?
Be back in about one hour. <winks>
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im going out tonight! cannot say where, but Im going to go dance and lift my spirits.
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Lyrics to Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis
Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe
But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
http://www.slack-time.com/music-videos/RnB-Music/Leona/Bleeding-Love.shtml
This song is good example of how I feel about my scars, and its how I feel about parts of love and about that I just see bleeding in a different way . for you see I USE TO be a cutter. Now you know, Are you scared of me? I am only me.
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here is a writing that is inside me right now, I`m just going to write it out and see what happens. its called What am I?
Hello What am I?
I can caress your face. I can caress your throat. What am I?
I can rub over your legs. I can caress or mark your skin. what am I.
I can hug you tight. i can hold you close. I can even cut off your breath and i can cause your death.
You can trust me. Yet some times you can`t.
I can twine around you in love. I can twine around you in hate. I am able to touch unknown parts of your body . Some times I may even touch your soul. I can be dark or I can be light. what am I?
Do you know what i am or could be? Am I color? Maybe? Am I love or hate? Am I the wind? I will tell you what I am. I am the rope. The rope around your skin. The rope in your Master`s hand. I caress you. Yet just like love I can cause you to feel like your suffocating to the end. Love hurts does`nt it? Too bad its not like the rope. ......................................................... '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ....................................................
I just wanted to say. I know this crazy writing will not really make sense to much of any one. This is just how I was feeling and I wanted to write it down. A journally is for writing and getting your feelings out. So this is what I did. thank you. take care and God Bless
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I was gifted with some time with my Master this evening. My Master blessed me with some rope bondage for awhile. While I was tied up he gave me that cocky grin of this that drives me nuts!! So Dang freaking cute!!
Master is stressed tonight and this past week has nt been good for him. I do not like seeing my Master having a hard time. I do not think he deserves it. Just my feelings is all. Thanks.
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PLEASE TAKE NOTE. I AM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE, SO I WILL LOOSE THE CAPTS NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION. I am not allowed to reply nor speak with any of you Doms. I will leave your message for one day just incase it is for my Master. Then it will be deleted.
this area is my journal, so i will speak freely. I am not hardly ever called arude person, i just want to point out any Doms here that are real, will understand me obeying my Master`s command not to reply to any of you. |
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I should be sleeping. Here I am awake and thinking of my Master. |
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I just emailed this message to a Dom couple. I wanted to post it here in my journal. Because I do feel like this with my Master. If I sound stuck up or like aspoiled little bitch. I appoligize. I am kind of spoiled is what I wrote to the Dom couple. My first Master indulged me by treating me gently . My current Master also is easy with me to certain exstent . Now do not get me wrong. I know my place. I know whom has control and who is in charge. What my Master does for me, is he is gentle and loving. He uses corpal punishment as he feels is needed. But he does not abuse me. He is not over rough with me. He does not treat me like shit. He is a loving , strong handed, Master. He does not condim my out spoken ways, he guides me to ask permission as a slave should. He does not break my spirit, with him it thrives, and within his arms, I am able to grow. I will alway do my Master proud where ever we are. I will not and do not show anger with him or jealiously. His happiness comes first in every thing I do.
thanks. j |
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Just got back to house from going to a friend`s house for a Easter party. I bought the children a pinata and it was worth it. Those children looked so happy and excited trying to hit that pinata. I felt happy watching their excitement and fun.
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Home work this week for me is to practice with larger butt plug. Hmm Wonder how I will do? We shall see hmm?
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Pssst.
are there any FEMALE slaves or female switches that would like to play with my Master and maybe even me, his slave this evening? If yes leave a message.
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dog dip, bath and vet trip day? any one wanna help?
that is a YEAH RIGHT situation isn't it? <giggles>
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been thinking about my Master all night at my work. Sheez, his voice, his beautiful body, his attitude, and that cocky grin that drives me crazy. he has a cocky grin that he gets some times, and I just think its really cute as hell, and it just turns my heart in to mush.
I know i am probally grossing alot of pople out so i will stop.
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got blood work done, and having an ex ray done of my lower abdominal area tomorrow after noon. have to wait for test results.
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been a wake most of the night, dealing with pain from Endometriosis , been breathing slow to get the pain to recede and wanting My Master`s voice.
had to cut and copy that to get the correct spelling im sorry.
going to lay down now, thank you for listening to me whine.
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This profile is created for me to have a place to visit and talk with other slaves.
Just a reminder to the Dominates. If you are dominate couple then I will reply to the woman. Other wise I will delete your messages per request of my Master.
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I know folks won`t give a shit and thats alright with me. I
though am posting my favorite song right here. So I can look at it
whenever I would like too, while in this forum.
Song Lyrics - Another Night
Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true
Just another night another vision of love
You feel joy you feel pain cuz nothing will be the same
Just another night is all that it takes
To understand the difference between lovers and fakes
So baby, I talk talk I talk to you
In the night, in your dream, of love so true
I talk talk, I talk to you,
In the night, in your dream, of love so true
In the night in my dreams I'm in love with you
Because you talk to me like lovers do
I feel joy I feel pain 'cause it's still the same
When the night is gone I'll be alone
Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true
Just another night another dream another vision
Of love with me I'm here to set you free
I am your lover your brother hey sister let me cover
Your body with my love is with my lovin' just another
Vision of love that seems to be true
All we do all the things that only lovers do
Vision of love that seems to be true
All we do all the things that only lovers do
In the night in my dreams I'm in love with you
Because you talk to me like lovers do
I feel joy I feel pain 'cause it's still the same
When the night is gone I'll be alone
Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true
I talk talk I talk to you
In the night in your dream, of love so true
I talk talk, I talk to you
In the night in your dream of love so true
In the night in my dreams I'm in love with you Because you talk to me like lovers do
I feel joy I feel pain 'ause it's still the same
When the night is gone I'll be alone
Another night another dream but always you
It's like a vision of love that seems to be true
Another night another dream but always you
In the night I dream of love so true
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNbRMG-4wAI
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How I feel about the parts of my life in BDSM. part two
I just do not get what the people get out of the beatings. It does not make sense to me. There are many other ways to prove seniority without beating the hell out of some ones skin. I know I am being out spoken as a slave. But in a journal you are suppose to be able to write what you feel and speak freely. So as you can see. I do it. I my self have been at the point a few many times in front of My Master, where I have just not cared what he did with or too me, as long it made him happy. So I know how this feels.
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how I feel about my life parts of BDSM. Part ONE.
Tonight I am reflecting on how I feel about what brought me to BDSM lifestyle.i have to go tend to some matters. I am going to be forty one in a few more months. I think back to when I was a child. I know even then was forever seeking praise. Seeking to please others before my self. I have been that way all of my life , That I lived so far. It makes me feel good inside when i please another person.
I have not ever been good lead material. I am more at ease being a follower. I can and have lead when needed. I just do not prefer it.
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I missed a important appointment for today. I feel bad about it too. I have to reschedule as soon as possible. Sheez Life and my brain, that's a scary combination.
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Reposting this so Master can see it circulating.
i
wanted to invite another female slave or sub. To come and play
with Master and his slave. All you have to do is be DDF and be
either uncollared , a female switch, or if you are owned get permission
to come visit. I have Master`s permission for this. <So let`s
make something happen ladies> hmmm?
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i wanted to invite another female slave or sub. To come and play with Master and his slave. All you have to do is be DDF and be either uncollared , a switch, or if you are owned get permission to come visit. I have Master`s permission for this. So let`s make something happen ladies> hmmm?
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Time for house hold chores fun fun. NOT! bye for now, collar me dot com
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Just sitting here a few minutes dreaming of what its like when, Master and this slave are in our own little world. You know when your looking in his eyes and the world just fades away, and all you are aware of is HIM. thats it, and theres nothing at that moment, that you would deny him. at that moment any and every thing you are is his completely. Other slaves will know what I mean. this moment in time, I speak of is sacred, breath taking, humbling, so many ways it makes u feel. that special bond between Masters and slaves. There is nothing in the world to compare to it. just me thinking is all. Thank you for reading.
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I like to play the games this web sight has also. I have read a few post on people playing space invaders and tic tac toe.
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Have you ever...?
Have you ever knelt, naked, trembling,
at your Master's feet....patiently waiting while he picks out the
perfect flogger?
Have you ever crawled across the floor, crop between your lips, with
that pleading look in your eye?
Have you ever felt that sharp sting, and then the wave of intense
pain, that comes with a stroke of the cane?
Have you ever wondered if she can take just one more stroke, and felt
the pride when she took 10?
Have you ever begged for more and more, knowing, but not caring that
your body is covered with welts and bruises?
Have you ever stood over her as she looks up at you with tears in
her eyes?
Have you ever gotten the giggles on stroke number 255....even though
you are hurting?
Have you ever been bound, naked, in front of a room full of people,
yet the only one you are aware of is your Dom?
Have you ever felt the rush of power that comes when someone
willingly crawls across your lap to be punished?
Have you ever stood in the corner, skirt raised, panties down, tears
running down your face from the humiliation?
Have you ever awakened the next morning unable to walk across the
room without feeling the pain of the night before?
Have you ever wanted to hold her in your arms as she sobbed, yet
left her huddled in the corner?
Have you ever trembled in fear and excitement when he pulls out
*that* toy?
Have you ever felt the sadistic pleasure that comes from inflicting
pain?
Have you ever spent the evening as a footstool....only there for the
pleasure of your Master?
Have you ever bent over the counter at the toy store, the clerk
holding your wrists, as your Dom picks out the paddle that he
prefers?
Have you ever practiced with that new toy until your arm feels as if
it is going to fall off?
Have you ever worn those little gold handcuff earrings to work?
Have you ever felt the over-whelming warmth from knowing that she is
taking the pain just to please you?
Have you ever lifted the hair off the back of your neck without
being told while your Master slipped on a collar?
Have you ever heard the scream of your muscles as you lie hog-tied
on the bed?
Have you ever fought with the beast...knowing it was time to stop,
yet wanting to hear her squeals for just a little longer?
Have you ever felt the sting of the crop on your inner thighs?
Have you ever presented your body for the single-tail, knowing that
one mis-stroke could leave you lying on the floor, writhing in pain?
Have you ever pleaded for him to stop, knowing that nothing you say
will will make him cease?
Have you ever ignored her pleas for mercy?
Have you ever felt the touch of the whip as it wraps around your
body and caresses your breast?
Have you ever gasped, and then screamed, as the nipple clamps were
slowly removed?
Have you ever felt her squirming and kicking as you apply the hair
brush to her reddening flesh?
Have you ever loved, and hated, and feared, and needed all at the
same time?
YOU CAN FIND THIS and more at http://www.aslavesheart.com/bdsma/ever.html
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The slave
The slave is a higher gradient of submissiveness in D/s. A slave's
primary purpose in life is to serve the needs and desires of the
Master. The slave relinquishes all control to the Master, because the
slave knows the Master has her well-being totally at heart. The slave
is marked by her Master in some fashion to show ownership. This can be
done with a tattoo, a piercing, or even a physical collar. The
Master/slave relationship tends to be more of a lifetime commitment to
each other than a typical Dom/sub relationship. The slave is held to a
higher standard of conduct and compliance than a typical sub, due to
the fact that the slave has given control of their life to the Master.
The Submissive, or subThe role of the submissive appears to be somewhat simpler, but in
actuality, the sub plays a large role in shaping the D/s relationship.
The sub's primary role is to follow her Dom's directions and to please
the Dom. Being submissive does not mean that the sub is a doormat for
the Dom. The sub is the Dom's companion, his student, and his lover.
As a companion, the sub is treated with respect and dignity, is
allowed to voice opinions, and allowed to share in the Dom's
activities. This is the area where the sub is the most equal with the
Dom.
As a student, the sub learns how to please the Dom, and when done,
expects to be rewarded by the Dom. Likewise, when not done or done
incorrectly, the sub expects to be corrected and shown the right way to
act.
As a lover, the sub goes out of their way to please the Dom because
they genuinely care for the well being of the Dom. The sub does this,
not out of fear of pain or retribution, but because they wants to give
the Dom pleasure. The sub does not want the Dom to be disappointed with
them. The sub takes pleasure from the fact that the Dom is pleased.
I found these articles on http://www.aslavesheart.com/bdsma/begin.html
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i finished my story YES YES FINALLY!
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headed to work high ho high ho
good night collar me dot com
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still working on my story, its a pain in the butt when you are in the vanilla world so much that you cant just focus on your slave yearnings. I am grate ful i have been blessed with an understanding Master.
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I am going to try to get my Story done some time tonight. Just been busy cleaning house and at work. Stuff like that. Sheez life goes on does it not?
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An Evening with my Master.
One evening I arrive at my Master`s house. I come inside just like normal. I hear him call out in here little girl. Its one of his endearments for me. I stroll forward eager to see him and bask in his gaze. I see him seated on his sofa. I go and kneel down by his feet rolling over on to my back just like a pet dog. Looking up at its Master. Come here little one he tells me. I sit up and move over placing my chin upon his knee. My Master crooks his finger beneath my chin raising my eyes to his. Listen very carefully slave girl he instructs me. Your Master is giving you one hour tonight to complete your chores. My Master tells me do not dawdle or get lost along your way. you know our time is limited and your Master wishes to play with his pet. Yes Sir I reply after I say a quick good evening Master to complete the proper greeting. I get up and start in the kitchen taking care of the trash, cleaning Master`s left over dinner dishes and wiping down the counters and floors as needed. I move along next is the sun room, then dusting and vacuuming the living room next. My Master calls out hurry up little girl! I glance at the clock and see that half an hour has already passed. My breath quickens with excitement. I try to hasten my pace. I go check his bed room and fold what laundry there is to fold. As I come back out of his rooms. I can hear my Master working in another room. I walk slowly out wondering, what he has in mind for tonight. He calls out my name sharply. Yes Sir I answer dropping to my knees and looking down. Go shower little girl he tells me. I am giving you five minutes. I hurry to the shower strip and get under the hot water. I only scrub my body and shave over my self in certain areas making sure I am nice and smooth. I turn off the water and get out grabbing a towel. Then I hear Master before I am even dry. Come here little girl he calls to me using the endearment he is fond of. I hang up the towel and walk quickly out in to the living room with the lights glistening off my still wet naked body. kneel! Master instructs me. Do not move! Do not speak! Master replies! I barely breath as I sense my Master walking around my knelt lowered body. I squeeze my eyes tightly closed as I resist the urge to glance at Master. Knowing that would displease him and bring instant punishment. Master runs his fingers through my hair finger combing it gently. Put your hair in your pony tail he tells me. I do so quickly . Lowering my self back to the floor. I sense Master walking away from me. But I remain lowered to the floor unmoving and silent. There I am lowered down on the the floor still damp from the shower. I can hear Master moving around on the other side of the room. I hear a jingling sound. I know he has the collar. I feel my self tremble with excitement. UP! Master replies, I sit up straight away remaining on my knees and averting my gaze to the left on on the floor. My eyes close in ecstasy and pleasure as I feel the leather being fastened around my neck by Master. It is soon followed by the clip of the leash. Head up Master commands I tip my head toward him. I gasp in surprise as Master slips a blind fold over my eyes. I feel my self tense up briefly this is different from other ways we play. I calm my self by breathing as my Master taught me to breath for him. Heel Master commands me I press against his knee to help guide myself the direction he wants me to go. Master leads me around his house. Its erotic and dark there behind that, blind fold with nothing except Master and slave in our own world. I feel carpet under my hands and knees and realize we have gone to another part of the house. Step up! Master says as guides me with his voice. I place my hands up on a padded step. Then I crawl on up. "Stay!" Master commands as i feel him place his hand upon my back. "Down"! replies, Master to me. I lie down realizing, as I do so that Master has walked me to his spanking bench. Master places cuffs around my wrist and ankles and secures me to the bench. I am strapped in the praying child position over Master`s spanking bench. Master walks to the front of the bench. I know this by listening to his body movements. Master grasps the leash attached to my collar and pulls it toward the floor. I can feel the downward pull of pressure on my neck. I lower my self following the motion of the leash. I hear a light snap.I find that when I attempt to rise back up. I cannot. Master has secured the lead to something so my head is lowered to the floor. I remain silent. So there I am strapped over Master`s spanking bench with my ass in the air and head lowered near the floor. Master speaks to me. "What are your words little girl?" Red Sir I reply. Also yellow Master I respond. Good girl he praises me . Master runs his hand down my back and plays with my ass briefly ending with a resounding Smack! The rooms goes quiet all of a sudden. I cannot hear any movement. I am still blind folded so I can not peek and look around either.
I am just sitting there counting my breathing. When I feel and hear it. Swish and smack over my back and on down to my ass its my Master`s flogger it falls repeatably over and over. Then the flogging stops . I quietly gasp whooo Owwww. I know what that is and it hurts . Master is now using his riding crop I remind my self to breath and relax. It doesn't sting so much that way. Master applies his riding crop till my white skin is pretty with pink. Thank you Sir I reply. Your welcome he tells me. I feel Master runs his hand up and down my body its soothing,arousing and exotic all combined together . It is such a head rush and turn on for me.
Master pauses behind me rubbing his cock up against my ass and grinding against me. I can feel his precum. My pussy grows wet as my arousal increases. I push my ass back as much as the cuffs and bonds will allow me. Master removes the blindfold and there it is my treat. Master`s cock is waving right in front of my face. Just like a friend greeting me. I stare at his cock hungrily , waiting glancing up at Master, waiting for his permission. Suck my cock slave he says. There it is the release I was waiting. I lock on to Master`s cock eagerly sucking as deeply as i can, uncaring of whether or not I gag my self. My head and neck move around and over, my tongue flicks eagerly around the head and base. I hear Master`s groan of pleasure. The sound is such a treat. Release! Master commands me and I let his cock slide out of my mouth with a resounding pop! Master walks behind me and redins my ass by spanking it with his hand over and over. Master tells me to close my eyes. I do so quickly. Master warns me not to peek at all. I do not! Its tempting but I like pleasing and obeying him better. Master has me lift my ass and hips up off the bench as much as I can with the bonds. I feel Master slide something under me and position it right against my pussy. I grind upon it trying to identify what it could be. Master drops some warm oil upon my body massaging it in my skin around my lower back and ass. He continues and rubs some around my ass hole and pussy penetrating those sensitive lips. Master slides his cock up in my pussy he feels silky smooth sliding in there. Oh My God he hits that spot of mine. I gasp and moan. Do not do it he commands! I understand he is command me not to cum. So I withhold it. He fucks my pussy a little harder warning me not to cum. I feel his thumb slide in to my ass hole as he fucks my pussy. He works his thumb and then one and two fingers into my ass. Stretching and working with me, still fucking my pussy. I feel Master withdraw his cock. I eagerly open my mouth thinking that he is about to allow me to feed. Master is in front of me . He says my name telling me to look at him. I look in to his eyes as he has his hand under my chin. He talks to me a minute. He just reminds me to remember to watch my breathing and to relax. I reply yes Sir. Master is back behind me now. I feel that sweet cock back in my pussy. Do not cum he commands. No Master I respond letting him know I understand. He fucks my pussy a little more then slides his cock out of my pussy and slowly puts his cock in to my tight ass. I am little back there and Master is loving and easy with me. I have to work on my relaxing because when we do this. I do not do it on purpose but I can feel my body resist the entrance of his cock in to my ass. So I just trust in my Master and take some slow deep breaths. Master has his cock in my ass now and starts to move. He is fucking me gently and slaps my ass a few times to keep it nice and pink. I feel Master reach forward and play and pinch my titties. Master starts to pump his dick in me a little faster. I am breathing deep and slow. When I suddenly feel a strong vibration right under my pussy. Its strong! Oh My God. Wow! Its Master`s wand. Suddenly its more then having him in my ass and trying to adjust. At least with this sweet distraction. Master does something that makes the wand`s vibration stronger. I gasp , moan and rock back against his cock. That` s it little girl! Ride Master`s cock He encourages me. Oh God I can feel my climax building. Master I gasp please? Do Not! He says! Not yet. Yes Sir I answer. Riding it out as Master fucks me a little more. Then when one more thrust in my ass. He releases me. Okay he commands CUM! Cum little girl. I let it go moaning and screaming out my release as I climax over and and over again. I feel Master`s sweetness pumping free in to my ass. Yes I m sore but he is worth every bit. I tremble a little with after shocks. Thank you, Master I tell him, thank you Sir. Master releases my bonds massaging my wrist and ankles as he frees them. Master commands me to clean the room and put things away. Then he goes to take a shower. After I hear Master get I the shower. I stop cleaning and allow my self to sit and think a minute. I think within my self. I am lucky to have a loving, beautiful Master like this within the vanilla world I live in. Thank you Master.
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just got home from visiting my parents. I was fantasizing about my Master while driving. sheez! crazy me. I pulled my self over, so i could finish my day dream. We were in different scenes in my mind, and I could hear his voice near my ears. and behind me, around me. It was almost like I could just about inhale his scent. I could just feel his breath on my body. I do not care what I do when I get to spend time with him, being in my Master`s presence is enough.
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Good ness some times this is hard. Thursday evenings I go spend time with my Master. This week sense its Spring Break my husband knows I am not going to school and My days off work are Thursdays and Fridays . I spend Thursday evenings with or at least near my Master. Its times like this I wish I could or had the courage to tell my husband the truth and to tell him to just let me go. But that would be unthoughtful and cold and heartless. My husband does love me. He needs me. I attempted to leave him once and he wound up in the hospital very badly sick. My Master has told me not to worry about Thursday. So the thing for me to do is accept my Master`s command and let this go? right?
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I must return to work now. I just wanted to return home for a bit so I could write what I was feeling. I remember one night afew months after I met my Master he called me on my cell phone at midnight and asked me to come over for one hour the next morning. That phone call is/was so special to me. It meant a lot. Take care collarme.com bye for now
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I am blessed. I do have a Master. That understands about my husband needing me. My Master is discrete. My Master understands my yearnings for the ropes and bondage. He understands and allows me to full feel my needs to serve and worship. Thank you Master.
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I am married. I am married to a husband that loves me. He does not understand my yearnings for the rope. He does not understand my desires to serve and worship. If you are judgmental or if you think you are God then please by pass my profile and move on to some one else.
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I spent the weekend with my Master and another woman in training to be a sub, It was not as bad as i thought it would be, he had us do a lot of work, but there were fun times too.
we helped him by cleaning his home, this is slave`s duty any way so i have no problem with that. When i was going to my Master`s home I was nervous that his lady friend would try to dominate me. but she did not, at all. i actually saw and heard her copy some of the things that i did. that's okay, its a way to learn.
We did several sessions, The lady and I were tied and cuffed for a bout an hour standing side by side. i pleaded with my Master a little to not release me when he released his lady friend. So he let stay in the cuffs a little longer.
This past weekend. I did not feel hurt or any jealous feelings. I felt happy and included. I know my place. The thing that I did learn some more about this past week end , was anal. I have a hard time yielding for the fucking in the ass part. it scares me. not just a little either. I can do it! I have before. But its always a inner battle with my heart and resistance. I am lucky and blessed to have a patient caring Master. When I start thinking about how I respond to being fucked in the ass. I hurt and tear up. I just have a hard time yielding that fuck hole. Why? Because it feels like some strange object is stretching my ass apart. I get scared. I did a little better the last time , My Master went for my Ass. His fuck was successful that time. I just have a hard time with that. though And i HOPE I can get around it soon. I feel like if I do not find way to get a round my fear with my
ass being fucked, then I fear I may get released. Because I know
that a Master does not have to put up with a an unwilling slave. Thank you for listening any comments are welcome. And I did have a wonderful week end.
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Well the week end will start soon. I am going to be spending time with my Master and a lady friend of his. I am going to respect my Master`s wishes for me too grovel a little for his lady friend. I would rather be on even terms with her. But tis not my Master`s desire. So i also know we do not always get our way. For example. people in hell would like to have some ice water. but we know they do not get it.
My feelings are tender right now good night collar me
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I get to spend the weekend with my Master. I am very excited about it too! I do not care if we go any where or not. Being in his presence, hearing his voice, feeling his touch, being under his hand, and even inhaling his scent. Is enough.
I am proud of my Master!
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good night Master, May angels surround you with peace and love.
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love is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich .
it sticks together.
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thinking about my Master tonight. I am going to work soon and he is out taking care of his business. I hope he has a date tonight. I hope. <smiles>
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