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| hey, I'm kristen! I'm a PROSUB in hot springs, Arkansas. please put the word POODLE in your first message to me to show that you have read this and understand what a prosub is.
I've been in this lifestyle for 15 years and have been prosubbing for 10. this is what I do, basically all I'm good for. I live for the extremes of this lifestyle and am willing to do just about anything you can think of. really, I mean anything.
I can work with experienced and newbie doms alike. just let me know what kind of ideas and fantasies you have and I'll make it happen. my favorite thing to do is to make fantasies come true, no matter how tame, wild, or weird.
I also do custom photo sets and videos, so if you are too far away or too busy, you can still have me!
I am also an enthusiastic and unique pro-domme and slave trainer!
hit me up!
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new profile, looking for something real.
id say I change my mind as often as I change my underwear... but I don't wear any.
I'm no longer on chaturbate. I'm no longer looking for random hookups. I'm looking for a real relationship with someone near my age who is near me. I'm flexible.
you can thank my shrink for the change in attitude. |
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im in one of those moods lately where im on chaturbate a lot and im responding to emails a lot. my owner only wants me used by HIM but i can still chat and cam and send my video around.
i want a lot of things right now. by things, i mean things. i want lingerie that fits my fat pig body. i want toys to play with on cam. i want insults and degradation and nickels, please.
my video is up for sale, it's cheap. just 5 to my pay ~*~*~ pal. me being beaten by my dom, being given the bruises im so freely showing off on cam, and being injected with saline into my nipples. i have another of when i was slightly pregnant, my exhusband forcing me to do a watersports video *properly.*
both videos are very real and very much how i love and deserve to be treated. |
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had my session
.......woo!
and selling the vid as soon as its done being edited. he promised by monday. |
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tomorrows the big day...
my owner will torture me hard for hours and videotape it all. im sure hes going to put me on his pulley system with me being choked by a collar as it goes up... up... up.
hes ruthless in his torture and i expect my ass, back, stomach, and tits to be black by the end of the session. im terrified and turned on and i dont know how i feel about the whole thing.
hes going to videotape it all and give me a disc at the end of the session. ill be sharing it for a fee here if anyone wants to watch me dance at his whip's touch.
im so scared. scared of the pain, scared of the pulley, scared of disappointing him. i hope and pray i do well.
see you on the other side. |
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last night i degraded myself on cam for well over 50 guys at one time, not counting all the guys who came in and out of my chat throughout the night.
an hour and a half of hardcore camming in the middle of the night, i made $2.15 for my charitable cause. i call it Slutts4Bernie
i LOVE doing this. i wrote dirty humiliating shit all over my body and squirted all over my computer three times.
you should check me out sometimes. im insultmehateme420 on there. free camshows, with bonuses for giving me tokens.
im going to sell videos of my owner using me in horrible humiliating ways through that site as well, so keep an eye on my profile for when those are available!
http://chaturbate.com/affiliates/in/7Bge/ozrXi/?room=insultmehateme420 |
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im falling hard for someone
he's taken me farther than anyone else has ever done.
he wants to own me
and i am now his. |
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so, it's been a while....
i said i'd never come back here.
but the god's honest truth is that no matter how much i tell myself this world is bad for me, that it's what's fucked up my life time and time again, i'm always drawn back.
it's all i know!
the vanilla world just doesn't work for me. i cant live within the parameters of normal society.
i'm trying. i'm counseled. i'm therapied. i'm medicated. but fuck this world is like my favorite drug. i just can't kick it.
so, boys and girls, here i am again. i'm going to try not to fall too far, too hard this time (last time i landed in the psych ward), but i can't live without a little bit of pain in my life. |
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so, since I posted about it 2 days ago, ive gotten REALLY into this chaturbate thing.
I mean, degrading myself on cam for one person is cool and all....
but last night I peaked at over 75 people all watching me fuck my asshole at one time!!! not to mention the fact that the insults and comments and humiliation just rolls along in a chatroom right next to my cam! holy shit.
like ive said, it's free to watch. most of the girls on there have rules like "tip me $xx and ill lick my boob" or whatever but im really just doing it for fun, not for money. its cool when I get a tip, but Im not on there trying to make a living lmao im licking my boobs for free :-D
something did happen last night that scares me. someone came in the chatroom and said my name. my real name that ONLY people who know me in person know, and only people who are very close to me can spell. the person wouldn't tell me who they are, but they said they took screenshots and are going to show my family. they said id find out who they are on Saturday (tomorrow) when they come find me. whatever that means!! im pretty scared.
the good thing is, though, that im going to be away for most of Saturday! I have a date on the other side of the state. so im not even going to be home... so... whoever you are, wherever you are.... im not gonna be home. |
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and also, i feel like telling a story, so, here's a story....
i was visiting my exboyfriend for a few weeks in the middle of my travels, he was putting me up at his house and we were both really getting off on the fact that he was pimping me out for weed money. i mean very little returns for semi-streetwalking kind of work that we blew on pizza and pot as soon as we got it.... it was about as just-for-fun as you can get with that kind of activity...
one evening he was playing a video game and i wanted to go out and have some fun... when we were together, we were together for like 2 years, so i was doing that really annoying nagging thing that long-time girlfriends and wives do where i wouldnt let up. that was a big mistake. every time i spoke, he got madder and madder until finally he got up from his computer, grabbed me by the arm, and yanked me outside into his front yard. he proceeded to punch me, kick me, knocked me down, stood on me, and kicked me in the stomach and back and pussy. i was very angry and not feeling at all like playing submissive so i kept standing up and saying "is that all youve got!?" which prompted him to keep knocking me down and kicking me until i stayed down.
the next morning he took the rest of the money that we'd made and gave it to his friend as a gift just to prove who was in charge. that really ticked me off and i went into super-bitch mode yelling at him. he clocked me right in the eye and broke my glasses. i started really howling then, and his mom came outside just in time to see him punch me square in the nose. broke my nose. total chaos!!! blood everywhere, me screaming, his mom screaming, dogs barking, and he roared "everybody shut up!!!" which of course shut everybody up for a moment. silence. then his mom said, quietly, "cody. i did not raise you to hit women." and he pointed his finger at me kneeling there crying, covered in blood, and he said very coldly... "that... whore... is not a woman."
that was the singlemost defining and important moment of my life.
this story might piss some people off. i know the SSC and RACK types are already getting their diatribes ready. "thats not bdsm, thats abuse" blah blah blah.... it might not be your definition of bdsm, but it's my life. you cant abuse a slave because a slave is not a real person worthy of human respect, decency, or dignity. and the beatings i received from that man still ring in my memory as the best beatings ive ever had. you might be great at swinging a whip or tying intricate knots. you might know all the tricks and have all the toys. but what im after, in my life, is the dom, the Master, who is a Master in the most primal sense. who doesnt need the canes and crops, but can and will show me who's in charge using nothing but his hands and feet and words. that's the kind of man who has my heart. that's the kind of submissive i am. this isn't a game to me. this. is. my. life.
maybe im just deeply disturbed. *shrug*
i just felt like sharing that story. feedback? |
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i just found a website that seems to take all the annoying aspects of finding cam-buddies out of the equation! it's called chaturbate. maybe youve heard of it (seems like all the guys i know knew all about it!). anyway, it's free to join AND free to watch, so maybe ill come on here from time to time and just let u wankers know when im on there so we can cut out the middleman and all that annoying messaging back and forth and go straight to the wanking.
im really REALLY into the idea of hundreds of guys watching me degrade myself all at one time. the getting-paid aspect is just a little bonus. and all the more degrading! my username on there is InsultMeHateMe420
guess what kind of interaction im looking for??? :-D
p.s. sorry about not responding to emails for the past month or so. very busy with real life. real life!? yes, i really do have a real life. sometimes. ill try to get back to you, or re-send your email, or something, i think i have like 20 pages of new emails now and i am actually still pretty busy... |
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someone ive been talking to and tried to set up meetings with a number of times just accused me of being a "fake," which led me to wonder if all those guys out there who are constantly complaining about how many fakes are on this site are actually just really obnoxious and turn girls off. I mean, this guy has blown up my inbox, my Skype, and my phone with messages every 5 minutes begging me to meet him. im sorry, but begging for a meeting is not very domly of you. if I have no respect for you as a person, how can I possibly respect you as a dom? im not a fake, im just not into you.
there is someone on this site who can attest to how very not-fake I am. we had an amazing session this last Saturday, and I didn't even get fucked! (in my pussy, anyway... by a dick....) my itch has officially been scratched. my god, how it has been scratched.
and I only want more!!!
it was just. so. amazing. I cant wait to feel that way again!
the highlights? the best part? it wasn't the multiple times being fisted, the beatings with what I can only assume were whips and canes and im sure a flogger or two... the enema or being milked or terrible things that actually managed to push one of my (only 2) limits and made me cry...
the best part was how as soon as I walked into that room, my mind went completely blank. I knew I was in a room with a Man who knew what he was doing, who had earned through years of experience his title of Master, and I knew my duty was to do nothing but obey. and so the only thought in my brain for two hours was "obey."
god, it felt good. so so so good.
he thought so too...
in other news, sorry if I haven't gotten back to u if you've messaged me. I have 4 full pages of unread messages and it's been a very busy weekend. ill get to u soon... |
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I was instructed to put a big piece of ginger root up my cunt and not take it out until I could cam again later tonight. it's supposed to be such intense torture I wouldn't last five minutes
it's been about 4 hours now and all ive felt is intense pleasure!!! |
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i'm torn.
I've started the process of finding someone to meet up with.
i'm torn between my desire for anyone's touch... and my desire for my "first time" (in a year) to be with someone who i am actually attracted to, who i feel has the skills and experience to make it truly *good* and not just "degrading"
on the one hand, my training tells me i shouldn't wait. i shouldn't turn anyone down. i should go with whoever wants me first and make my way down my (very long) email list sucking and fucking them all. real masters, newbies, wankers. i should be grateful any of them even deem me worthy enough to waste cum with.
on the other hand, i never got to "lose my virginity" in a romantic way. and a good solid session with a dom who knows what hes doing and who he's doing it to is just about as romantic as it gets. i have never gone this long without being touched in my life, i truly feel like a virgin again. at least, physically. i kind of want it to be special.
do i even deserve something like that?
that little voice in the back of my head says: no you don't, you filthy cow. now get on your knees and beg for some cock from the next man you see. |
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im just going to put this out there...
it's been a year for me. a year since ive been touched by a man or a woman or anyone. my skin longs to be touched.
someone recently gave me a hug, I damn near came. my body remembers that embrace of pressure and skin on skin. and it was entirely platonic. I shudder, remembering it.
my tongue wants to taste a man again. to feel him fill my mouth and make me gag. the rough texture of a shaft going in and out against the roof of my mouth, my tongue wrapping around him. the bump of the head on my throat. the mouth-watering moment of his cum and the moan as I swallow.
and I never even really liked giving head in the first place.
don't even get me started on how my pussy feels.
I squirt puddles every time I masturbate, that's how deprived I am. a fake dick can get me off as though it were real. ive forgotten what a real man feels like inside of me. ive forgotten what I feels like to have a man sweating on top of me, moving with me as we work toward that moment of ecstatic pleasure that, for me, can last hours.
ive completely forgotten anal. that sweet, sweet feeling of being stuffed full and stuffed more. I cant recall it. I know I love it. I know I want it again. to be on my hands and knees, someone gripping my ass as he pounds into me.
my favorite thing about that position is when there's a rope around my neck. when im being choked. forced backwards by the rope deeper onto the dick in my ass. gasping for air with every thrust. there's nothing better than that.
it's been so long ive been reduced to fantasizing about normal sex. I cant let my mind wander to the whip, the ropes, the electricity and knives and needles..... no, I cant even think about that or id go mad.
the worst thing about this all is that ive fantasized for my entire sexual life about being a cow. and here I am, my breasts full and perky and gigantic from the milk.... and I have no one to play with. I just want to be milked. one time. have someone stick some ears on me, a snout on my face, draw spots and degradations on my fat cow body, and milk me into a bucket. just once. fondle my dripping tits with one hand while the other is lodged deep in my ass. remind me what I truly am. an animal. a piece of livestock, fit for a barn. sell my milk to pay for my feed, and keep me locked away as nothing more than a source of income and carnal pleasure.... oh god, I need to stop.
it doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon. there just isn't enough time in the day for me to pursue anything resembling a sex life, let alone a real relationship. two jobs, a full-time student, and a single mother. there's just no time.
so I guess ill pop on here randomly and spill out my heart to you random strangers. at least it makes me feel a little better, to tell someone how deep my longing is. |
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| Age: 29 |
| Ontario,
Canada |
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