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collargirlsara91's Journals

Journal Entries by collargirlsara91:
12/5/2017 8:19:26 AM
Looking for somewhere to go play from February 3rd thru the 14th...maybe a tryout for a 24/7?

12/4/2017 1:17:21 PM
I really LOVE Christmas, I really HATE Christmas shopping!

9/4/2017 7:39:56 PM
i feel i should thank Master M (MindRules here on CS). i truly wish you were looking for a permanent girl and i freaking LOVE the new Relyfe files!  
 
i am looking for ideas for a Christmas present to send to a Dom (MindRules) as a "thank you" for sometimes letting me play safely while i am looking for someone to take me permanently. i don't have a whole lot of money... What does one get a Dom for Christmas when you don't actually belong to Him...? Ideas anyone?

8/7/2017 6:30:29 PM
Spent last night (Thursday, night) with MindRules for play.  
 
Thank you Sir... it's a true pity you aren't looking to own right now...

7/26/2017 5:35:37 PM
People keep asking: yes i know what can be done to me with Relyfe programming, yes i read the risk articles and yes i want more of it this time by someone who wants, truly wants long term. If you're just looking for a plaything on the side... Please look at someone else...

7/19/2017 6:16:44 AM
Had to be offline for a few weeks - breaking off burdensome family ties. Back now. Hoping to find someone serious to move forward with.

2/13/2017 9:10:54 AM
At the request (demand) of a couple of people i am adding a couple pictures of me naked and one in a dress... They are all recent as within the last 6 to 8 months and the only bondage pictures i have of me you cant tell its me in them anyway. Danny kept all of the good ones.  
 
i hope these are okay.

2/11/2017 1:34:43 PM
Hi. Corrected Relyfe Programming information one of the Dommes here sent me - New article. Http://www.XaxisOnline.com

new Mind Control Relyfe Programming MP3 file site http://www.XaxisBooks.com (look in collections)

And the books are on Amazon in paperback I guess, too.

Old article. Http://www.bluedeckpress.wordpress.com Hypnotherapist Mr. Michael Scott. Mike.Scott@XaxisOnline.com He's an author who Danny took me to see. That's it. If what i wrote below was wrong im sorry, she really blasted me for being stupid and costing her time and i am very sorry if i did that to anyone else...

1/26/2017 12:44:16 PM
******HELP!!!******  
 
Something ate a whole bunch of my email from earlier today and yesterday!! Including those from the two people i was really seriously getting into!!!  
 
Does anyone know how to recover CS eaten email??

1/24/2017 9:55:41 AM
Second apology today...  
 
i typed the below entry in my friend's car on my way here to work and screwed up the link.  
 
Three people emailed me to tell me, thank you for thw correction.  
 
i fixed it! Sorry again.

1/24/2017 7:37:09 AM
Sorry everyone...i guess i shouldn't be surprised when someone reads what i write here, but there are so many pretty girls on here looking to be owned i am always surprised when someone takes the time to look at what i put here before i ask them too.  
 
The Xaxis article i mentioned below that people keep asking me about is at www.Xaxissite.WordPress.com and a Dom/Domme couple here sent me the link while trying to dissuade me from seeking erotic mind control, which, after reading their profile, is kinda confusing, but well, okay.  
 
This this weekend i met with what was supposed to be a 24 year old domme from cincinnati and turned out to be a kid who couldn't be more than 19 and her younger than that boyfriend...  
 
Please be my age or older... Preferably older...i don't mean to be disrespectful to anyone but there was just no way i could...well no way i could take them seriously...they kept giggling...i mean, come on...giggling???

1/21/2017 2:07:51 PM
Hi,  
 
I wanted to add to the above that i am not interested in doing the online photo slave thing.. if we get to exchanging emails I  
ill happily share more photos of myself and confirm my identity but i am looking for real time full time ownership...i appreciate the offers but it's not what i am after.  
 
Oh and now that i have met with a couple of people from here and a Domme from Alt, I wanted to mention that today, i am hoping that any relationship will include Relyfe programming i mentioned before, yes i am aware of the dangers.. And yes, i have read the Xaxis article.  
 
i think that kind of absolute intimacy and control are what i'm after. I can't speak for anyone else but what deeper surrender is there?

1/9/2017 9:53:50 AM
She wrote  
 
Hi,  
 
Okay, i have had a lot of people, most who aren't even interested in me, asking about my experience being on the receiving side of Relyfe programming and i figured that i would be better to explain it all once here rather than keep doing it over and over again because it takes me a lot of internet time to do it over and again.  
 
i AM happy to share information and a girl should always be respectful to people who show an interest in her or what she's done or been through to please, if you do have any questions that aren't answered here, feel free to ask them, but please also be patient, i only really have regular internet at work, and even that i can only use when no one else is around, but at least that's most of my shifts :-)  
 
Relyfe.  
 
This is embarrassing.  
 
When i first came to date Dan i was a freshman at OSU and i had major, like super major, issues. Particularly with panic attacks for no apparent reason. Danny and i started dating and he was just getting into erotic hypnosis. He emailed back and forth with the guy who wrote the relyfe programming book, Mike Scott, and finally arranged for me to talk to him on the phone.  
 
That's the treatment part and he got rid of my panic attacks in like 10 minutes, flat. i haven't had one since.  
 
Danny had a bunch of his audio files and i started me listening to them.  
 
This is where things get confused. i have some idea of what i am and what i want and need here, what i needed from Danny. i was perfectly happy with him and comfortable.  
 
i THINK i have always needed and wanted to be owned, and i see evidence all around me that most girls do. i am pretty sure i felt this way before i ever listened to any relyfe files and i have very clear memories of getting excited and wanting to be the girl who was dominated when i would see other girls being controlled, or slapped, or dominated on TV, in the movies or in real life.  
 
i think i have always had a deep need to be displayed, spanked, put in cages and restrained, to be answerable for my schedule and behavior to someone and to be told what to do and where to be and when to be there. i am pretty certain that i have always enjoyed and taken pride in domestic chores and i would bet anything that i have always gotten off on pain, the more severe the better.  
 
But i also know that the programs i listened to told me i would be, that i would feel these things.  
 
i am certain that before listening to them i didn't orgasm during oral sex... i do now.  
 
i am certain that no one could tell me to cum with a two word order and make it happen... it happens now.  
 
i am certain that no one could make me afraid and urinate on command before i listened... it happens now.  
 
i am certain that, despite what i wrote above, i was never compulsively and happily naked around others, especially if i didn't know them... but i am now.  
 
i am certain that while i am pretty sure i wanted to be hurt, i didn't cum again and again when i am being spanked or flogged, but i do now, uncontrollably.  
 
i am certain that i didn't want to sleep in cages...but it seems natural now.  
 
i am certain that i didn't have a program that lets someone wipe hours out of my recent memory, but i do now.  
 
And, i am certain that before i started being relyfe programmed i didn't crave long periods of... capture... but i do now.  
 
And i am certain that i used to be hyper shy about anything sexual...and i still am...but i also now have a driving need to be open about the abuse and degredation i need to have now..no matter how sick it makes me sound or how hard this is...  
 
Thats all i can think to share.  
 
Questions?

    


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