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HEAD OVER HEART
Letting go is hard, even if you know it is the right, rational and probably only thing you can do.
It hurts nonetheless. |
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Ready or not, here I come...
No place in the world can compare to this place... |
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I kinda like that quote:
"We are the perfect couple; we are just not in the perfect situation..." |
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Just longing for something.... Or someone? |
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"My tastes are very... singular" #FiftyShadesOfGrey
So... It's here, the new trailer. What to say about it? (Other that it seems that it will be at least some good entertainment and that Beyonce's music is perfect for that movie)
It is def better than the first one. We got to really see Charlie Tango this time *yeah* (although this is still only a small consolation prize for Jamie Dornan's YouKnowWhat. Seriously - I bet you they will show Dakota topless at the very least. That's just not fair. It is kind of discriminating: guys get to see naked female parts all the time - and what do we get?! Over all, both trailers are pretty chaste :o( Dornan is a bit of a coward, really - but then: there are two more movies which means two more chances for him to man up. I generally think Hollywood/the majority of America is a bit weird - and kinda prude: You don't have any problems showing really gory, bloody, violent scenes even to younger people - but goddess forbid there is some naked skin and maybe a bit of bedroom action) and a bit more of Christian's Red Room of Pain.
Oh, and besides the Red Room of Pain scenes... The elevator one is definitely hot *swoons*
Favourite line: "I exercise control on all things..." Oh, you better... *grins*
http://www.mtv.com/news/1997648/fifty-shades-of-grey-new-trailer-watch/ |
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Sensual & Sexy....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OydK91JjFOw |
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Guess my rocky relationship with Insomnia is on again... :o( |
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I found THIS embodiment of escapism in the internet this morning and it made me laugh:
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/530861874800071415/
My caption would read: "Mr. Twitchy Palms and a coffee - what else does a woman need in the morning?"
Yes, it is kitschy AND FiftyFanArt (I can literally see lots of Kinksters wrinkling their noses in disgust right now)... But I don't care, it is hilariously funny and a nice, small change to all the seriousness out there. And I am still grinning... |
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So.... Lots of males here seem to have their boxers in a twist because of my super short post about California's new "Yes means Yes" law for their College Campuses.
I really don't understand the commotion and outrage (some men seem to personally take offense when it comes to that law for some reason). The issue of rape and sexual assault on US college campuses is a massive one. Campus Rape Rates haven't changed in the last 20 years. This has been going on for far too long already. Maybe this law changes something for the better.
And if you like numbers: One in five US women has been a victim of rape or attempted rape. One in five. "These aren't numbers. These are mothers. Sisters. Daughters. Friends..."
Interesting links:
http://www.vox.com/2014/10/13/6966847/yes-means-yes-is-a-terrible-bill-and-i-completely-support-it
http://time.com/100542/the-sexual-assault-crisis-on-american-campuses/
PS: You can call me a feminist - just don't expect me to feel offended, although you intended to use it as some kind of "dirty word" ;o) |
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Congrats to California for their new "Yes means Yes" law (SB697) on sexual assault on College Campuses!
Silence, lack of resistance, being drunk, drugged or unconscious doesn't constitute consent.
Consent is now: "An affirmative, conscious and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity."
https://www.facebook.com/YesAllWomen
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It's true: Anne Rice's kinky, hardcore pornographic "Sleeping Beauty" Trilogy will be developed as a TV series (producer: Rachel Winter). Rice says she is "delighted". Well, I am super curious about it...
http://www.nerdist.com/2014/09/anne-rices-erotic-sleeping-beauty-trilogy-coming-to-television/ |
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It's hard to deal with the fact that even people you really, really care about sometimes forget about the saying: "Actions speak louder than words" *sighs* |
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#YesAllWomen
Because there are still guys who don't know about personal space or worse - deliberately choose to ignore it. No, it is not okay to slowly creep up at me when sitting on a small bench at a tram stop instead of sliding over on the other end of the bench (like I did, in the end, I almost fell on my ass bc I was already sitting on the very edge of that bench). And it is def not okay to almost slide your fingers under my skirt covered tigh and then act all mortally offended and like I am a crazy bitch when I openly call you out on it. Slimy fucker... |
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It's fucking complicated!!! :o( |
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ROBIN WILLIAMS
1951 - 2014
RIP
O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
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FIFTY SHADES OF HOLLYWOOD
So, now it is here. THE trailer. What's there to say about it?
Hm.. Of course, perfect high-class marketing and production, totally professional - and SO generic, sterilized and mainstream. Total Hollywood-sy :o( It is not even funny any more.
But I have to say I was positively surprised by the great soundtrack (Beyonce!) and by Dakota, who really pulled off the Ana character quite well.
Unsurprisingly though Dornan is a catastrophe, a total miscast. (You should lock up the casting director in the red room of pain for at least two days and give him a real good caning) Not one ounce of dark and sexy, seductive - let alone dominant. (Worst are his eyes, his stare - it doesn't even make you yawn.) That guy is such a smoothie, I could puke.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmLzOMyUg0I |
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Well, the FSoG teaser trailer looks promising. I am very curious about the first real trailer that will be released on Thursday. I am still very undecided about Dornan (as he never was my first choice to play Christian). He certainly has the looks but the big question is: Will he be able to pull off the right attitude, will he be able to make the people who read the book SEE Grey in him? I am still doubting it (and I am still worried they made a huge kitschy and crappy Hollywood thingy out of the book). But I guess, the real trailer will give the answer to that question...
https://www.facebook.com/photo.?v=729369867098933&set=vb.642260222476565&type=3&theater |
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I sometimes wonder if it's my voice that is too low or if it is you who isn't listening?
"... I don't have to be anyone other
Than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me..."
Gavin DeGraw "I don't wanna be"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gFCW3PHBws
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Eric to Julia after she just kissed him for the first time:
“For a nice girl, you sure don’t kiss like one!"
(credits go to "Star-Crossed")
Well, THAT is what I call a compliment... |
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Thank you, Europe for making a miracle happen and letting Conchita Wurst rise like a Phoenix!
Eurovision Songcontest 2015 goes Austria... :o) Love, Peace & Tolerance!
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2014/05/conchita-wurst-wins-eurovision-2014.html |
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We Europeans are weird. Want an example? Well, while we are all painfully aware here that we are in the midst of a serious and tragic political crisis, a very dangerous war-like situation. But for a few hours tonight the majority of us will push back all thoughts about that and will not focus on Kiev but solely on Copenhagen. Because it is Eurovision Songcontest Time. Our battleground will be a showstage. The only weapons that will matter to us tonight are voices, performances, lyrics, costumes and songs. The thing that will decide tonight's competition are these words: "12 points go to..."
This is modern Europe's version of "bread and circuses", our preferred kind of escapism at the moment. Yes, we are def weird like that...
http://www.eurovision.tv/page/news?id=FHSYZxFaUPsAMdRkbdVI
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Go, sing and kick the hateful bigots' asses!! I know you will make it tonight in the Eurovision Song Contest semi-finale. You will "Rise like a Phoenix", shine and simply blow them away. Good look, Conchita!
http://www.eurovision.tv/page/news?id=conchita_wurst_in_flame_wings_for_austria
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/08/conchita-wurst-controversy_n_5285278.html
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Please, please, please - just DO it...
"I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal..."
by Nine Inch Nails
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"Don't try to make them love you
Don't answer every call
Baby be a giant
Let the world be small
Some of them are deadly
Some don't let it show
If they try and hurt you
Just let your daddy know
Now when you go giving your heart make sure they deserve it
If they haven't earned it
Keep searching it's worth it
For all your days and nights
I'm gonna be there
I'm gonna be there yes I will
Go gentle through your life
If you want me I'll be there
When you need me I'll be there for you"
As always, it was an extraordinary pleasure to spent an awesome and unforgettable night with you, Mr. Williams ;o)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APUAuWAFgeI
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"Because in a split second, it's gone..." A. S.
Can't believe it's been 20 years already. You'll never be forgotten.
RIP Ayerton Senna & Roland Ratzenberger |
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"I’ve been thinking about how I can explain what feminism means to my generation in a way you might not have thought of before. I wanted to try to work from something we have in common, and it’s been kind of hard to find something I have in common with you. Then, it came to me. I bet you wear a bra...."
I couldn't stop grinning while reading Madison's open letter to Phyllis Schlafly. What an eloquent and bright young lady (Madison, not Phyllis *lol*).
That gives me hope. Because: You can't fix stupid. But you also don't have to try to do the impossible (aka fix stupid) as long as there are enough non-stupid, intelligent young people still out there...
Go Madison - all girl power to you!
http://samuel-warde.com/2014/04/open-letter-phyllis-schlafly-12-year-old-madison-kimrey-guest-post/ |
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I just stumbled over a more modern, beautiful pic that kinda intrigued me and found out that the Angel featured on it is indeed Lucifer. Although I haven't been able to figure out who created that particular pic yet, I took the time to research information (not only out of the Bible) about Lucifer.
Ironically I really had to do some research, although I was raised catholic of all things. My only excuse is me being agnostic for over half of my life now *lol*
I didn't know that he obviously was the "Light Bearer/Bringer", "The Bringer of Dawn", the "Morning Star, the planet Venus". He was said to be the most gorgeous one of God's Angels, before he became the Fallen Angel.
But the most fascinating point for me is, that during his time in Heaven, he also was kind of the Angel of Music. He, the Evil One, was in charge of one of the most beautiful things in existence!
So, I really wonder... Does that mean that a little light can always be found in the darkness? |
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“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.” - Anaïs Nin
Well, she totally got it... *sighs* |
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Humans of New York
they are the most best humans to ever get tossed in the cauldron
the long ladle of the tall witch stirring and stirring scraping it off the bottom
a handful of magic here a pinch of the miraculous here
in the concrete world of right angles
the humans of new york dream and chase the dream
they are the carrot and they are the stick and they are spell bound for heights
they are here because they have flavor
and they are being moved by magic no one sees but every one knows
each and all of them
are a distinct flavori n how beautiful it is to be a star
in the human universe of new york magic
http://www.humansofnewyork.com/
I love HONY although I get homesick for my home away from home every time I take a look at it. Well, I guess that is proof that there is a tiny weeny bit of masochism in me too ;o) |
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I just heard about Peaches Geldof. She was so young. And right when it looked like she finally got her life under control she dies... I feel really sorry for that poor kids of hers :o( |
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You, my brother in mind, will always be missed...
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/pictures/kurt-cobain-tributes-living-in-nirvana-20140404 |
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Black Dragon :o(
The black dragon is waking up again. I can hear him spreading his huge dark wings, can see his claws reaching out for me, can feel his bad hot breath in my neck already. I know he will go after me, soon. I know I can't outrun him. He will catch me and drag me down into his dark, pitchblack cave. This endless hellhole of nothingness, numbness, sadness. Filled with countless tears I am going to drown in. Why can't the black dragon just sleep a little longer this time? Why...? |
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I nearly knocked down the mailman today when I spotted an Amazon parcel in his hand. He could only say "Signature" and then I had snitched the Warden's latest piece of art ("The King") out of his hand already *lol* I just love Wrath and all the other possessive Alpha male Brotherhood members. I am just getting myself a healthy dose of romantic vampire porn, so don't disturb me for the next 48 hours if you don't want to incur my wrath and get a taste of my kitten claws... |
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Best T-Shirt print I've seen in a while: "I won't cry for you, my Mascara's too expensive..."
So Ladies: If he is acting like a douchebag, get yourself The Socialite Collection Mascara ($ 589) *grins* |
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Well, I just got a very "nice" message of a self-proclaimed Australian dominant who felt himself entitled to blabber (of course in perfect English - not) something about my pic being fake and me having to put up a real pic of myself (because obviously his word is law). Since Mr. Cool didn't let me reply to his rant by blocking me, I will just give it to him via my journal. Please enjoy!
"Don't get your panties in a twist. First of all: If you had your glasses on your nose, you would perfectly see that my profile pic is of course no pic of an actual person but of an artificial model bust (of a famous and quite well-known picture of the dark artist Louis Royo). So 'fake' doesn't really fit here (since I never claimed that it is me on that pic anyway). Secondly I wrote about that topic in my journal at some point. So next time actually read the journal of a person before you throw a fit. And I don't have to explain myself to you on why I don't have a pic of myself up on my profile. btw: It isn't really clever to point something like that out in such a rude manner when you are guilty of the same 'crime'. So to keep it short: Get lost and waste another person's time!!" |
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I'm crazy. I'm seriously considering attending a fancy masked ball (themed "Priveé") totally on my own on Mardi Gras next week. I just want to do something wild again, something wicked and sexy - maybe wearing a corset and high heels. Just let go a bit after such a long time, not always having to hide and maintain control. Just being me (well, THAT other, dark part of me), breathing deeply. Feeling free...
http://www.myvideo.at/watch/7773179
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Soooo.... What to say about this year's Opera Ball? Yesterday the whole world watched Vienna dancing, doing the waltz. Unfortunately Kim "the plastic doll with the frozen face" Kardashian was Lugner's star guest this year. He made a very fitting and hilarious Freudian slip by calling her an "E.T.-girl" (instead of It-girl) *rofl* Kim's ball gown?! Horrible!! http://www.toofab.com/2014/02/27/kim-kardashian-vienna-opera-ball-photos/
(Only American media would use words like "stunning" and "gorgeous" to describe this tasteless fashion desaster and lack of style). That dumb bimbo should have looked at some pics of Dita Von Teese's Opera Ball gown from 2008. See, THAT is what I call classy, elegant and lady-like!
http://bilder.nw-news.de/welt/dita_von_teese_auf_dem_wiener_opernball/215914.html
So this year's next big Viennese event will be the Life Ball in May (themed: Garden of Earthly Delights). I'm curious about what designer will be presenting their fashion on this year's Life Ball runway. Although I doubt that anyone could top the amazing "Agent Provocateur" runway show from 2008. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OOrL9WSo7c (03:46)
Just legendary!
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My mood today mirrors the weather outside. Sunny and bright. I just feel quite happy today out of no reason. Going to enjoy that! |
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The Olympics are almost over and we won 19 medals and only had one athlete disqualified for doping. I guess you can deem that a success. |
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There is nothing that I really hate more, that makes me feel more miserable than to let people down, to disappoint them. It makes me hate myself, makes me feel like I want to vomit.
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Albert Einstein said:
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Well, I don't want to feel insane any more. Guess that means radically putting a stop to some things. Difficult, but not impossible. There is always hope for improvement...
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So I am obviously the type of girl that already gets tipsy from just eating some small alcohol filled truffles. Hilarious! |
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"If you don't care about me, I don't care about you..."
A lesson I've hopefully finally learned this year. Took me long enough to grasp that concept. Some of us people-pleasers, esp women, have never learned to take a step back and rationally judge a situation (instead of emotionally doing so). To not give chances over and over again but to judge another person - esp someone you've known for a long time - on their current actions (and not the good ones that have already been laying in the past for years) and their current behaviour towards us.
It is ok, to not endlessly endure and excuse another person's behaviour over and over and over again. It is ok, to say stop at some point. It is ok to just not care anymore yourself. It is the third time I've visited your hometown and invited you for a coffee in advance and for the third time you can't even spare one hour to meet up? It is the third time I am the one who makes a call or writes a mail and you don't care enough to answer or make an effort to initiate contact until I send a fourth one - and even that one is only answered in three superficial sentences not even including an explanation or an apology? I've told you over and over again how curious and interested I am in your (new) life and though you politely ask about mine on rare occassions (making small talk), you never freely tell me about yours or show real interest in mine?
No more, my time and my energy are too valuable for crap like that. There are enough other people who absolutely DO deserve my attention, my care and my friendship - and who appreciate it. Why keep on wasting it on someone like you then? Thanks, but no thanks. Not any more. Guess what?! If you don't care about me, I don't care about you... It is as simple as that. Period. |
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I'm dreading the night again. Insomnia seems to be back :o( Just hope it remains to be a short visit. |
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My body is a wonderland... And since today it has been enriched by yet another attraction ;o) |
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I just love Rosenberg's very unique voice... And of course, esp the refrain lyrics of this particular song of his. They hit very close to home...
Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it's starts to snow
Only know your lover when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know your lover when you've let her go
And you let her go
(Credits go to Passenger) |
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So the small, wild kitten in heat came out to play. Luckily my boyfriend enjoyed it *meow* |
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Most of our society's and the fashion industry's view on how a woman has to look like to be considered slim and beautiful is even more pervert than most people (me included) here are when it comes to their kinks.
Seriously?!? Labelling women like Robyn Lawley or Jennie Runk as "Plus-Size"-Models (mostly in the fashion-industry plus size begins at size 8) is just insane. They probably represent most of us average women when it comes to their weight and how their bodies look like...
That makes me even more self-conscious than I already am :o(
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/exclusive/jennie-runk-hm-model-interview
http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2014/01/cosmo-labels-bikini-model-plus-size-facebook-explodes/ |
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Story of my life: Rollercoaster, Hybrid, Ambivalence, Up and Down, High and Low, Darkness and Light, Angel and Devil, Innocent and Stained, Bipolar, Paradoxon. Meredith knows all about it...
I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved
To see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one
I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
And I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell
I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing
I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
And I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell
I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
Just when you think you've got me figured out
The season's already changin'
I think it's cool you do what you do
And don't try to save me
I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
And I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell
I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
I'm a bitch
I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt
When you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb
I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way |
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You know you are getting old when you are in the drugstore to buy some tissues and suddenly kinda get the urge to buy some anti-wrinkle eye fluid... *whines* |
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Sometimes it is the small things that can make your day. Like visiting that new burlesque and dark scene store. And getting told by the shop owner that your corset size is two sizes smaller than you thought yourself. And then realizing that this is really the truth. And even looking quite pretty in that beautiful thing without being too self conscious... |
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Annnnnnnnnndddddd - here it is, the first official billboard image of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Okay, I have to give it to them: The idea and the composition of the whole pic as well as the headlining sentence are great. That ad image of our dear Fifty even hints a bit at the original title of the then still fanfiction story: Master of the Universe (at least: Master of Seattle lol). Better than I've expected, their movie marketing boss did a good job. But of course, there are small things (besides the bigger ones - like Ian Somerhalder or Matt Bomer NOT playing Christian Grey) I have to criticize: First of all, I miss the messy hair from the books (well, the Sex hair style was based on Rob Pattinson, so of course NO one could have really pulled that off the right way - except Mr. Britguy himself). And then I really don't like the fact they delayed the movie release date again (Valentine's Day 2015 - seriously?!). Lets just hope they don't totally mess it up (THAT is still in the cards) in the end...
http://insidemovies.ew.com/2014/01/24/fifty-shades-christian-grey-first-billboard/ |
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So... I've never really been involved into all that PetPlay stuff... But now I fell in love with some very special Necomini Kitten ears (nope, the Japanese girl isn't included in the package). They are creative, unique and first and foremost soooo freaking cute. WANT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUxAwMHgrPQ#
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Golden Globes tonight - I'm going to cross my fingers for "Rush". Although I love, love, love Jared Leto (I've seen pix of him playin in "Dallas Buyers Club" and he is amazing, he blows you away) I really want Daniel Brühl to win the award for "Best Supporting Actor". He deserves it for portraying such a charismatic and complex person like Nikki Lauda right to the point. There even is a slight chance that we might win in the category "Best Motion Picture, Drama" too. Well, a girl can dream... ;o)
http://www.examiner.com/article/formula-1-niki-lauda-of-rush-to-present-at-2014-golden-globes
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"MINE"
Someone posted the vid below (by Alvaro de la Herran for GQ Spain) on another kinky website. I really, really like the vid (well, most of it). I find it very appealing, also esthetic (and it isn't that overly graphic). But for me, personally, it lacks emotion. Yeah, the two main characters are gorgeous, very much so. But you can tell that they are not actors, only models. They aren't even able to fake a connection. It is artsy and beautiful, but at the same time it gives off that cold, distant, clinical vibe. No love, no bond, no trust, no passion... Without all these feelings lacking it would be almost perfect...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7msxRmoA5o
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Seriously - I like most of George Michael's music. But if I hear Wham!'s "Last Christmas" one more time (after being forced to listen to it twice every 60 minutes for 8 hours straight in the last two days - which seriously is torture and comparable with getting your nails pulled out while still being alive) I am going to flip out. Rant over... I'd like to wish all my friends here a merry Christmas, happy (and "Last Christmas" free) holidays as well as a happy new year! Yours, icy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1xT_RXdOXo
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Something I read on a tumblr account today and which I found to be so very true. *sighs*
"If a woman is not submissive to a man it is not because she lacks the ability to submit; rather he lacked the ability to create for her a place in her heart and mind to fall to her knees..." |
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Waahhh, my head is going to explode. Someone should have gagged Bourdieu before he could have ever mentioned the word "habitus"... (I don't even think that this is a correct English sentence... My poor brain) |
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Paying 160 Euros (!!!) for an inner pit standing room concert ticket (nope, not festival, just one concert!) definitely hurts more than a short spanking. But I'm a music lover & crazy like that... |
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Hm... So what is it with all those Twilight fanfiction stories (some good, some really not - and I have to know it, bc I've read them all. Some of them even more than once *lol*) getting published and becoming bestselling books?
And yes, I admit it, I am a freakin' Twihard. Always have been, always will be... Live with it. The Saga is one of my guilty pleasures. A guilty pleasure that you won't even be able to spank out of me *rofl* I already noticed years ago that surprisingly the BDSM related Twi-fiction stories were often the most popular ones amongst all the writers and readers on fanfiction.net, although most of them really weren't what u would call mainstream vanilla soft porn stuff. And now, Fifty Shades of Grey (originally "Master of the Universe") and "The Submissive" Trilogy (at least Tara Sue Me didn't change the name of the original story) are money making bestsellers!
I mean, WTF?! Also the non-BDSM related books "Gabriel's Inferno" (that is nothing else than "The University of Edward Masen" with a changed title) alongside with the "Beautiful Bastard" series (formerly known as "The Office" - btw: a movie company already secured the rights to this series, so there might be some BB movies coming out there in the future) and "Wallbanger" (aka "Edward Wallbanger") as well as "Sempre" (originally known as "Emancipation Proclamation") have their roots in the Twi-fiction world. And I am sure they already published a lot more that I don't even know of yet.
Although I don't particularly like the prospect of Christian and Nathaniel not remaining the only ones that will be dragged out into the light, I am quite sure that some of the other (dom) gentlemen of the Twilight universe might join the two of them soon, spanking their way into vanilla women's hearts.
However... Jamie Dornan can play Grey all he wants, I will always picture all of these guys with wild bronze hair and RobWard's features... |
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Today's topic: Vampires. I am a typical girl and I love them - various kinds of them. There is the dashing, old-school one like Brad Pitt (no, NOT Tom Cruise) in "Interview with a vampire", the sarcastic but charming bad boy type like Damon Salvatore (I am repeating myself but Ian Somerhalder would have been my pick for Christian Grey), the blood thirsty and powerful but still attractive and loveable Eric Northman (yummy) and of course also the vegetarian, brooding, Volvo driving, Debussy loving and sparkling Edward Cullen (U can def fall in love w a fictional book character, esp when Rob Pattinson gets to play him in a movie)... |
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I didn't know that there are Triskele charms. I got myself such a charm and I am waiting for its arrival now. I guess it is quite safe to put it on my silver charm bracelet. No nilla person in my life should have any idea about its meaning (and if they ask, I will just say that it is some celtic symbol and that I liked it)... |
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"You're a complicated woman" - Miles to Rachel in "Revolution"
Truer words were never spoken... |
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I am sure most people from Ohio are smart. But recently I met a male Ohioan specimen who was quite dull-witted. What is the great problem of understanding the word "No"? No, non, nein, nay... No, I don't want to be your sub. I state it in my profile, I wrote it in a message, I even told him kinda personally. It took until then that he finally got it. What should I do the next time guys? Mime the word until u get it? |
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So yesterday's big news was the delay of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie. It now it is been delayed until Valentine's day (how fitting) 2015. Yeah, I know... Most of you probably hate all that stuff around FSOG anyway. Well, there is some stuff I don't particularly like too: the fact that Alexis Bledel wasn't even considered to play Ana and Ian Somerhalder didn't get the role of Christian (but maybe that wasn't that bad bc for every famous actor that role might damage their reputation. No wonder Hunnam weaseled his way out of it). And the writing style isn't really the best. (But the original English version is ways better than the German one. That one is just terrible, the translation just makes me shiver in horror. So do yourself a favour and read it in English please). And I honestly found the original fanfiction version (with the fitting title "Master of the Universe") ways better than the book's endversion. So, my rant is over now, there is only one thing left to say: Laters, baby.... |
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I went to the concert of an old school friend of mine, who is the lead singer of a quite popular underground band in my hometown and the surroundings. He and his guys are hilarious. Their music is a wild mix of 80's Synth, Pop-Rock and Dance Music with some Disco elements. My friend is a great entertainer, Robbie freaking Williams has nothing on him. He is a sight for the gods, we laughed our asses of. He was wearing golden glitter leggins (I am always waiting for it to burst so that everyone can see his tush or his junk), a white belly top, white sneakers and a headband. He looks like the incarnation of an 80's porn star with some kind of mustache. He was shaking his ass and going crazy on stage. My other friend was like: "If I hadn't just met his girlfriend, I would have sworn that he is gay". Nope, he is just uber metrosexual (forget David Beckham) on stage... *rofl* |
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So, I have a huge colourful bruise on my tush. But of course it is not from a good spanking. No.. I (klutz that I am) had to fall down the staircase to get it. Typical, the story of my life *lol* |
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So.. I would like to make you all laugh again today.
Yesterday I got a message from a Middle Eastern "dom". First he called me assertive and sassy (which I don't see as an insult by itself. bc I am and I like it - so sue me).Then he wanted to show me what "real submission" is (ahm.. I can be tamed a bit if I want to give that gift, but I only give it to the right guy. And that one soooooo wasn't it) and told me I would give it to him the first time I heard his Arabic voice (keep on dreaming). He called me a "sharmoota" (get a dictionary: it is sharmota). Well, lots of us sub girls are (again: for the right guy) sluts from time to time. Why not? I don't see it as something bad or embarrasing. I can enjoy my sexuality (that guy obviously can't - blue balls, you know).
But now comes the best part (and I quote): He called us "arrogant and snob Western women". *lol* Doesn't get what he wants (like making a girl bow down for him) and then behaves like a little boy that didn't get a lolly. Very mature!
I told him if I was sassy and arrogant, he is a douchebag and a misogynic idiot (who doesn't have a sub of his own - I wonder why)...
Well, that made my day. And gave me a good story to share with you... |
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Old, but still good. I especially love the following verse, it reminds me that you always have to work on your relationship. Only then it will be a great one. And somehow, if the love is big and strong enough, you can conquer it all - even the darkness that often seems to overshadow everything...
"And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, oh yeah
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain..."
Thanks to Guns N' Roses |
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My beloved boy... I am so glad to have you by my side. You never left, not in good and even not in bad days. Sometimes I forget about that and I am unsatisfied and unfair then. But luckily then I remember that life can be so short, that we should live in the moments, value every hour we are together. I should tell you more often what you mean to me... |
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Although more than a decade has gone by, I sometimes still get memory flashes of you. When someone says something, when I see something, even when I smell that men's fragrance you always used.
I should have listened to my friends, they knew from start. You have done quite a number on me, you narcissistic bastard.
I really should stop to get angry tough, because... Karma is a bitch (and she won't forget about you)!
Hey, good girl
With your head in the clouds
I bet you I can tell you
What you're thinkin' about
You'll see a good boy
Gonna give you the world
But he's gonna leave you cryin'
With your heart in the dirt
His lips are dropping honey
But he'll sting you like a bee
So lock up all your loving
Go and throw away the key
Hey good girl
Get out while you can
I know you think you got a good man
Why, why you gotta be so blind?
Won't you open your eyes?
It's just a matter of time 'till you find
He's no good, girl
No good for you
You better get to getting on your goodbye shoes and go, go, go…
Better listen to me
He's low, low, low…
Hey, good girl
You got a heart of gold
You want a white wedding
And a hand you can hold
Just like you should, girl
Like every good girl does
Want a fairytale ending, somebody to love
But he's really good at lying girl
Yeah, he'll leave you in the dust
'Cause when he says forever
Well, it don't mean much
Hey good girl
So good for him
Better back away honey
You don't know where he's been
Why, why you gotta be so blind?
Won't you open your eyes?
It's just a matter of time 'till you find
He's no good, girl
No good for you
You better get to getting on your goodbye shoes and go, go, go…
Yeah yeah yeah, he's low
Yeah yeah yeah
He's no good, girl
Why can't you see?
He'll take your heart and break it
Listen to me, yeah
Why, why you gotta be so blind?
Won't you open your eeeeyes?
It's just a matter of time 'till you find
He's no good, he's no good
Won't you open up your eyes?
It's just a matter of time 'till you find
He's no good, girl
He's no good for you
You better get to getting on your goodbye shoes…
credits to Carrie Underwood |
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Hello everyone!
In the last weeks I surprisingly got a lot of (mostly respectful) messages from (usually) men. I don't really know why, but I've been told it has to do with my journal (although this surprised me too b/c in comparison to most journal entries here mine are rarely sexual or overly BDSM related). I want to thank everyone who wrote me a nice message and although I have a very busy vanilla life, I will try to at least write one or two sentences back. But please understand that I can't really converse with or be friends with everyone, since I just don't have the time and also have a normal life. In addition to that I already found some special people here I like and I'd like to concentrate on those already made friends right now. I hope you won't be offended as offending anyone is really not my intention.
What I really would appreciate though would be to get into more contact with more experienced sub girls around my age (+/- 5 years) as there are some things I am just more comfortable to talk about with girls. And they just might understand some things better...
For those of you that are sending me crude messages or don't have honest intentions: You should really read my profile first. I have a boyfriend and I am in a long term relationship and I also don't plan on ever leaving my boyfriend since I love him very much. Respect that or I'll just don't answer or block you!
Thanks for listening,
icy |
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Sooo... Tomorrow is All Saint's day. Here that is a big deal. I don't enjoy attending the cemetery mass that much since I am not religious (I am kind of agnostic). It is the only time of the year I am going to a religous event. For me it is more about remembering our loved ones that r gone. And some might find it morbid but I love to go back to the graveyard in the late evening. I am not scared at all but enjoy the eary silence and all the beautiful lights from the burning candles.. That might make me a macabre weirdo, but I just don't care... |
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I guess today is a reeeeeaaaaaaaaaaallyyyy good day. I am on a train to the capital to visit a good friend of mine and to have dinner with her and some other friends. It is such a wonderful sunny fall day outside, I guess I took my fav leather boots out of their box at exactly the right time. They match my new skirt very well and still keep my legs warm enough to not catch a cold. There is nothing better than to run through a heap of colourful maple or chestnut leaves, to enjoy the earthy and tangy smell of autumn, to feel like a kid again and to just feel alive. It often are the little things... I guess today is such a really good day, not even that guy at the train station could dampen my happiness. Yes, you can stare at my leather-clad ass (as long as you don't whistle like some old pervert) when I try to haul up my small but heavy cabin trolley into the train. But next time have at least the decency to offer to help instead of watching me struggle with that stupid thing for minutes. Chivalry nowadays is SO dead... Pity. But as I said: Still a wonderful day. Enjoy it, people! |
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Coffee... I need coffee. An infusion of it, or I won't get through the next two days of uni. Three consecutive days full of courses can totally turn you into a coffee addict... |
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In the last days I experienced again how important real friends are and also how significant it sometimes is to be a friend to other ones, how important YOU are for someone. Friendship is about giving and taking, and about total trust. I am grateful for the few friends I have, the ones I am important to and who will never disappoint me...
"When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relieve and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again..."
Credits to Savage Garden |
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Here is something to humour you: Yesterday some oh so "laid back", self considered Dom and narcissistic douchebag (that seems to think a big ego and crude language are the substitute for a lack of brain cells) accused me of being a fake. Seriously? Get your facts straight: I have had this account for years and post a lot on my journal. And u didnt really think my profile pic is me or a bust of myself (although it does represent a part of me and slightly looks a tiny bit like me)? It is an art model bust (a really beautiful one in my opinion) of a very popular pic of a very famous and well known Spanish dark art artist. I am not going to post a pic of me here for safety and privacy reasons as I dont want to flaunt vanilla friends from RL with that side of myself or want someone to find out. Not everyone here is lucky or comfy enough to be able to afford showing themselves openly here and taking the risk of somehow being outet to the vanilla world... |
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I am so effing tired. But I guess I will have another sleepless night ahead of me... :o( |
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So... You know you are getting old when all the 20 year olds at uni address you formally. If I hear another "Sie" in the next 5 hours I am going to scream... |
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I just hate statistics, maths was never my cup of tea. I would even consider vanilla sex to be less boring and more inspiring than all that talk about the median and the arithemtic mean. I should get some smart money for enduring that lecture... |
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Yesterday this community lost a very special member. When a friend told me about it, I remembered that I "met" him briefly here once or twice. He was always very kind and friendly as well as patient and helped me when I didn't understand some technical stuff here or in the chat. A lot of people will miss him, that is for sure... |
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Insomnia - leave me alone! |
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So... One thing I just can't really understand is why some (dominant?) guys feel the need to show their hard wiener as a profile pic. What's with that? Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against artsy, esthetic, erotic, kinky pictures with some finesse. But just showing your dick and kinda shoving it in everyones face (inferiority complex much?)- that isn't even a statement... *shakes head* I guess most girls here want to talk to a person first and foremost, and not to a cock. I really wonder if a lot of guys really don't have a brain in their head but only a penis brain... |
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Seriously guys,
if you are dumb enough to use a false pic in your profile, than make at least sure, it isn't one of a celeb that a few of us nerd-loving girls have a crush on *shakes head* |
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Ahhh, I just can't figure out how to change my journal background colour to the purple-ish one I want. All the time I tried it still showed that ugly Kermit green background. Is it me or the site?!? |
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“I do just want to fuck you, and own you and use you for your blood..."
THAT was def my fav line from the True Blood season finale ;o) |
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Dear Fifty,
I really loved you – as long as you, your red room of pain and your twitchy palm were only mine (kinda).
But now, every bored, forty-something mainstream soccer mom in Manhattan is in love w/ you and your kinky ways. THAT really has some negative effects on your attractiveness and appeal. (You just aim to please too much now.) From my Master of the Universe to every Upper Eastside housewife’s dirty little secret and wet dream…. What a bummer!
But over all, you are still quite sexy and therefore I might find my ways back to you on lonely nights…
So until then… Laters, Baby |
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I don't know what's going on these days but I am so freaking bored again.
To do at least something against it, I already went so low to just randomly watch a movie (that itself is not a bad thing, but it was a Cameron Diaz movie).
Can anyone here save me? In order to do that, you would just have to be able to entertain me a bit....
(Otherwise I might have to go back to zapping - and I SO don't want to find myself watching some Jennifer Aniston flick just to escape boredom....)
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Tired, frustrated, bored and - of course - effing sleepless. Can this night get any worse? |
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Every time I see my musical crush playin' the piano, I wish I'd never stopped playin' it myself in my preteens. Of course, I'd would have been never ever such a brilliant piano player like he is, but at least now have the freedom to just play along to anything I want very easily. I guess, now it is just too late and I would not be able to catch up. Playin' the piano very well is such a gift. And some people even manage to look like they are making love to a woman while doing it. Incredible.... |
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Question of the night: How to fight insomnia? |
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Happy 4th of July to all Americans out there.... |
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In a few minutes Haye will wish not to have been such an arrogant blatherskite in the last weeks. Klitschko is so going to make short work of him, I just wonder how fast Wladimir will be this time ;o) Serves Haye right, that's just what u get for being an idiot... |
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Well, well, well.... It's 2:40 am here and I am still feeling like the Duracell bunny on E. So... Sleep, why are u evading me? |
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"Baby Box" - that is my English word of the day. I read it here and that synonym for the ladyparts just cracked me up. I mean, until now, my Number 1 was "pinkie", but "baby box" comes close. Just made my day :o) |
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I know, it is sticky and painfully hot right now. Must be, I mean, yesterday u even broke the record high from 1999 w/ having 103°F/38°C and there was a blackout caused by all the A/C's being turned on. Though I know from personal experience, that u r literally hell in July and August, that I would sweat like crazy, feeling awefully sticky 24/7, changing clothes two or three times a day, letting the A/C running all the time (feeling bad of wasting so much energy though), feeling constantly dizzy and afraid of fainting while walking over the heated black asphalt and cursing myself for not having applied more sun blocker, not being able to sleep at night b/c of the heat, hating myself every time I'd have to take the subway and go into these hellholes they call subway stations... Though I know all that, there isn't one place right now, I'd rather want to be than in NYC. I know, I am an idiot, but it's just... I miss u so much, my beloved NYC... |
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Dear Weatherman,
I don't know if u r just pissed or if u r getting old and suffer from some kind of memory loss.
If it's the latter - I am glad to be of service and help you a bit: There is something huge, yellow, bright, very warm and shiny up there in the sky. It is called the SUN!
So would you please be so kind to stop that stupid rain now (and therefor save me from really having to buy a pair of wellies) and let said SUN shine again!?
I would appreciate that very much.
Sincerely,
Icy |
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For THAT one, I really love you, Nicole Eggert ;o)
Take that, guys...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHYvjY8q2Gg
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"I went everywhere for you
I even did my hair for you
I bought new underwear, they’re blue
And I wore ‘em just the other day
Love, you know I’ll fight for you
I left on the porch light for you
Whether you are sweet or cruel
I’m gonna love you either way
Love, oh, love, I gotta tell you how I feel about you
‘Cause I, oh, I can’t go a minute without your love
Like a satellite, I’m in an orbit all the way around you
And I would fall out into the night
Can’t go a minute without your love
Love, I got it bad for you
I saved the best I have for you
You sometimes make me sad and blue
Wouldn’t have it any other way
Love, my aim is straight and true
Cupid’s arrow is just for you
I even painted my toe nails for you
I did it just the other day
Love, oh, love, I gotta tell you how I feel about you
‘Cause I, oh, I can’t go a minute without your love
Like a satellite I’m in an orbit all the way around you
And I would fall out into the night
Can’t go a minute without your love
Oh, love, I gotta tell you how I feel about you
‘Cause I, oh, I can’t go a minute without your love
Where you go, I’ll follow
You set the pace, we’ll take it fast and slow
I’ll follow in your way,
You got me, you got me
A force more powerful than gravity
It’s physics, there’s no escape
Love, my aim is straight and true
Cupid’s arrow is just for you
I even painted my toe nails for you
I did it just the other day
Love, oh, love, I gotta tell you how I feel about you
‘Cause I, oh, I can’t go a minute without your love
Like a satellite I’m in orbit all the way around you
And I would fall out into the night
Can’t go a minute without your
Love, oh, love, I gotta tell you how I feel about you
‘Cause I, oh, I can’t go a minute without your love
Love, love, love, love, love"
Germany - 12 points!
Thank you, Lena ;o) |
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Ok, I'll admit it: I am SO bored right now, that I'm really watching the Eurovision Song Contest... And my home country doesn't even take part in it. Well, as I really don't like to say it, but actually tonight I really keep my finger's crossed for our "fav" neighbours, the Germans. Lena will let her "Satellite" fly in a few... |
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Today was a good day. Hope the upcoming weekend only gets better, though the forecast announces rain, rain and more rain.
But u know what? I don't care!
Because I have my new favourite friend w/ me all the time: my Sony ebook reader touch edition.
Love that thingy! |
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Had a really bad day today. It all started w/ the weather, it was raining cats and dogs all the day. Awful!
Then I missed an important call, but couldnt bring myself to call back later.
Black clouds not only outside, but also inside. Sometimes, all that struggle is so tiresome, exhausting.
Only class today cheered me up a bit, it was nice to be productive for once. (I wonder how I made it to campus anyway). Got my midterm exam back - a B+. I'm not satisfied at all, I could have done ways better if I just had had forced myself to really study for it...
So, summing it up: a total desaster! |
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This is for you, my greatest of all loves...
"On the avenue, there ain't never a curfew, ladies work so hard
Such a melting pot, on the corner selling rock, preachers pray to God
Hail a gypsy cab, takes me down from Harlem to the Brooklyn Bridge
Some will sleep tonight with a hunger for more than an empty fridge" by Alicia Keys
I miss u, every day. I even miss the smell, the rats, the hectic and those damn cab drivers that try to hit u every time u r jaywalking...
U r truly one of a kind - there is really no other place in the world that can compare w/ u, my beloved NYC.... |
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Dear Janitor & Maintenance Workers, next time u need to "take a look" into one of the bathrooms in the apartments, make sure u a) ringed the doorbell or knocked on the door loudly first and b) waited for a reply like "ok, come in". Or have at least the decency to wait until my bf is at home too and can kick ur sorry asses... Thx |
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Seriously, what is it w/ (dominant) men nowadays...?
Just b/c a part of me is submissive, that doesnt mean someone can just order me around, push me, being bossy - esp not a total stranger.
I might be submissive, but I'm not weak. Actually, I can be pretty stubborn, I am sassy and sarcastic and I'm sometimes kind of a wildcat. I can't see any need to be ashamed of it. I can be pretty self-confident either (Life is no bed of roses, esp not if u r lacking a Y chromosome. So being able to protect, defend and speak up for myself is just a vital necessity sometimes). If u can't handle that, I'm sorry. But that's me, take it or let it be.
And btw: It's not rude if I don't want to show any pix (at least not from the start), that's just called self protection and being smart.
Girls, do u experience stuff like that here too? I really wanna know, so send me a message... Thx |
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Exhausted... No wonder, after a night w/out much sleep and a two hour midterm exam.
And now, it's already dark outside. So here we go again, I guess... *sighs*
Actually, that whole day today was kinda fucked up. I just wanted to post some lyrics out of The Boomtown Rats' "Don't like Mondays" when I realized that today isnt even Monday. But sure feels like one... |
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"Insomnia
I can't get no sleep
I used to worry
Thought I was going mad in a hurry
Getting stressed, making excess mess in darkness
No electricity, something's all over me, greasy
Insomnia please release me" by Faithless |
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Hm... I just wanted to share smthg w/ u that might lighten up ur day.
That was just a random email I got from someone who would be called a "Dummdom" in German *rofl*
I swear, I never contacted that person before nor did I anything to encorage such stupidity. Just got that email from a total stranger, it was just one line
"Kneel and open your mouth"
Seriously, guys. WTF do u think when writing smthg like that to a total stranger? (I wonder if it was just that his brain wasnt able to function correctly due to the lack of blood circulation in the area from the waist above or if it is some serious, longlasting problem..) I mean, do u honestly think THAT will get u any other reply than "Fuck Off"?!
If u have no manners at all in the first place or if u r not able to have an intelligent conversation w/ a person of the opposite sex or if u r only thinking w/ ur d***, then pls have at least the decency to stay away from my email account - thank u very much!
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"You once told me, our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch. Is that true for everybody, or is it just poetic bullshit?" Tyler, in "Remember Me"
During a nice conversation that brought back a lot of memories of someone I just realized again tonight that the fingerprints stuff is - in fact - not just poetic bullshit. (Un)Fortunately it is true.
U know what, I.? I hate u sometimes. From the bottom of my heart. Sometimes I wish I could just erase u from the videotape or soundtrack of my life. (Even more than I wish I could ever talk to u again, hear ur voice again, see u again, touch u again, turning back time... Demand answers of u arrogant, narcissistic bastard.)
But since the fingerprints stuff is true, it isnt that easy. After all these yrs I still ask myself if I would be like and who I am now if I've never met u in the first place... |
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So.. I was told to talk more about me on my profile... Well, that alone isnt the reason why I am making that entry, as I am not a person who just does what others tell her to do. Actually, I don't want to edit my profile right now, but I really like to make a random journal entry right now.
Yesterday I was just feeling sick a bit and I was bored. So Twitter was my last resort. And there I stumbled over something that really made my day. Check this essay (written by actress Alison Brie) out pls: http://nerve.com/features/true-stories/homosexual-schmomosexual
I just loooooooooove this random "A moment of College experimentation" thingy... It's R rated of course and totally hilarious and also written in such a sarcastic kinda style I would write something like that too. Pls read it, it will crack u up. It surely made my day...!
PS: I just hope my background color isnt really green. I chose another one, but I am SO not sure if it worked. |
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