7/13/2017 11:45:11 AM: To who it concerns I am not sure I'm understanding you . I do believe you do not truly know who I am tho , because I do not judge nor do I hate , I'm tired of people trying to read me when they don't have a fucking clue . You see me on how you want to see me , how you want me to be or do , ...which makes me a fraud ,think about it . You do not know me.

4/21/2016 5:14:26 PM:  Many of us have heard the phrase' Life is what you make it ' mostly likely quite often as you have progressed through life . But is it true ?  The longer I live the more I feel inclined to disagree with the statement that is often sent our way . It is often said as a well meaning, somewhat cautionary 'word of wisdom' from those who supposedly know better.The fact is life is not what we make it . We did not make the life we are living even though we are the ones living it . The truth is life is going to happen despite what we do or not do . We have no control over what life will send our way , only in the outcomes of those circumstances . Lets face it ! We are going to mess up sometimes , its inevitable, the only thing we can control is  to what degree of a mess we will create.When 'push comes to shove ' the life we live is not 'what we make it' but it is 'what we make of it '. So if we are to make something of our life then we must inhabit it , we must live it , breathe it . wear it ,taste it ,and be committed to it. Life is not meant to be a casual stroll. it is adventure, a journey that requires us to take action and run with it .The next time I catch myself thinking, 'Is this all there is ?' I hopefully will remember that I'm the  one  in control of the out come, and  Re-commit myself . believe in myself and make something more of my life .

10/30/2015 7:56:04 AM: Memes- An idea, behavior or response that can pass from one person to another by learning or imitation. They can be environmental  , cultural or familial and they operate just like a virus .So Memes of the mind therefore ,are all those thoughts, ideas and responses that enter our minds from those around us , parents , friends, teachers ,associates , relationships ,lifestyles. They are learned attitudes and responses we have assimilated from the people who populate our environment . Theses so called memes can be both positive and negative and very often they will have little or nothing to do with reality of the situation we are faced with ,even though we think they apply .We often use these assimilated memes to avoid, or at least delay, making a decision or taking some action.So lets say that we are confronted with a proposal that will require us to explore new or unfamiliar territory that would require us to expand our thinking and stretch ourselves .Faced with this kind of situation, its much easier to respond with ,''Its not in my nature (it's not my cup of tea)! or ''I don't have the skills for that !''These are all memes and they fall from our tongues like water over a waterfall .We have a never-ending supply of memes that have been handed down to us such as ; ''I'm too busy'', ''I'm too tired', 'it's too difficult ', ''I'm to old (young)'','' It's never been done before' and ''I'm not smart enough ''There are literally dozens we can call on to rescue us from any situation that may challenge us. We use them freely in order to fool ourselves into NOT doing something Different . We then congratulate ourselves and think we did the right thing. Crazy huh ,..... when you start thinking about this its like 'DONT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK ! 

2/2/2014 4:11:31 AM: Follow Your Arrow' If you save yourself for marriageYou're a boreIf you don't save yourself for marriageYou're a horrible personIf you won't have a drinkThen you're a prudeBut they'll call you a drunkAs soon as you down the first oneIf you can't lose the weightThen you're just fatBut if you lose too muchThen you're on crackYou're damned if you doAnd you're damned if you don'tSo you might as well just doWhatever you wantSoMake lots of noiseKiss lots of boysOr kiss lots of girlsIf that's something you're intoWhen the straight and narrowGets a little too straightRoll up a joint, or don'tJust follow your arrowWherever it points, yeahFollow your arrowWherever it pointsIf you don't go to churchYou'll go to hellIf you're the first oneOn the front rowYou're self-righteousSon of a-Can't win for losingYou'll just disappoint 'emJust 'cause you can't beat 'emDon't mean you should join 'emSo make lots of noiseKiss lots of boysOr kiss lots of girlsIf that's something you're intoWhen the straight and narrowGets a little too straightRoll up a joint, or don'tJust follow your arrowWherever it points, yeahFollow your arrowWherever it pointsSay what you thinkLove who you love'Cause you just getSo many trips 'round the sunYeah, you onlyOnly live onceSo make lots of noiseKiss lots of boysOr kiss lots of girlsIf that's what you're intoWhen the straight and narrowGets a little too straightRoll up a joint, I wouldAnd follow your arrowWherever it points, yeahFollow your arrowWherever it points

1/27/2014 8:35:44 AM: The Vanilla  Slap ......... I am going to try to articulate my wants and desires and thoughts . I have trouble with labeling people and especially my self.  In the BDSM world  I've  been asked what am I ....a  submissive ?/ bottom? / slave? / masochist. ?  .  I know for sure I'm not a bottom because I crave more outside of the bedroom ,I need to please and serve . I know that I like being told what is expected from me and what to do,.....wanting and needing to be controlled by the person that I trust and care for and  that I truly know that  He knows what is best for me ,all  this makes me feel cared for , loved / safe and I also feel sexually aroused .  But the problem is when this happens , when Im told to do something etc ,the first thing that happens to me is vanilla appears like for the first 5 minutes just long enough to make it look like Im not submissive / slave . When that five minutes or less pass and I let my self truly feel what I want deep with in my soul that's when I'm truly happy , I love the feeling . I don't want that vanilla slap to be there because it does not make me happy it is more of a habit, it is how society has trained me and what is expected  from  me .  The vanilla slap  isn't what I want to happen . I then wonder I am I the only one that has this problem ? So I am I a submissive or a slave ?  Can one be all three submissive/ slave / masochist ? yes Im sure one can be .... whatever makes one smile ,sigh and moan .