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crissyhaus
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Educated, interesting, older sub MtF
.. friendship, chastity servitude relationship, something deeper and more fulfilling. We could start out role-playing, then perhaps evolve to something deeper and more intense. I am interested in something leading to 247 female or MtF domination, chastity,something longer term. Im old enough to do what I want, and what I want is to fulfill your extreme, intense, perverse and controlling desires.I really seek the type of Domme that really NEEDS to dominate her man.
I really yearn to serve.
I am not married to ANY individual practice, be it ... pegging, whipping, or what have you UNLESS my domme would want it.
Sometimes, Ive noticed... some women who have been abused, sexually or otherwise, ... become Dominants, sometime..... .. and they use their Authority over their men (and women), to feel safe, and whole, and complete. Its a delicate subject, for sure.
My point is, I want to find a woman who NEEDS to control her man, to feel safe, or secure, or wanted. I know nothing is truly 24-7, and we all have normal lives to lead.... to have careers, family, etc... But I seek a partnership, of some sort.. ultimately..
Also, Im attracted to dominant women in my regular life as well, as friends, companions, or lovers. And female bosses... Ive had a few of those.... I am not attracted to men, at all.
Be good.Thank you for visiting my profile. Please write if you want me to say more.
24-7 TPE 24 7 permanent slavery slave mtf wife permanent chastity
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Well, we are all hopeful about finding someone, so no surprise when we get overly excited when we get an unannounced kinky email. Turns out, she may just want you to attend her seminar ($)... I understand the need for money, I do. But nothing about the transaction moves you closer to a real relationship.
And yet, there are once in a blue moon, REAL Dominant Women out there. I seem to run into them on the internet, every six months or so... we chat, but ultimately, they are too far away, or looking for someone wealthier.
Well, these things happen. Gotta keep going. You never really know.
:-) |
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I really think my 'dream domme' has an 'inner motivation' for her wanting to control or cause pain to her partner. She 'needs to control,' because of something deep within her... I used to think that it all related to the Female Domme's bad experiences with sex, in an earlier time in her life..... but I no longer think that's true.
I don't know what would motivate the Dominant Woman that I'd really want to fall in love with.... but I do know, that Dominance is something she NEEDS, not something she can do because 'her partner wants it'....
And I'm realistic about service.... in a REAL relationship, it's all about 'vanilla stuff'... nobody stays in costume forever, no one can wear the collar 100% of the time... life just interferes...
Anyway... |
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Summer is here, for me. I'm a teacher, and so I have looser summers than most. I don't get the whole summer off, I have a lot of teacher things to do... but it does give me more time to think, and try and actively meet someone I can fall in love with ..... and worship.
That's what it is all about, isn't it? Loving someone so much, you want them to own you, physically, and psychologically.
A deep, and twisted romance.
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Some days, I think about what I really want in a woman... realistically, being domme or sub ALL the time is difficult, and generally unrealistic. So what do I really want?
I want a woman who loves me enough to hurt me. I want her to hurt me, because it feels good, and 'right' to her. I want her to feel that she 'owns' my psyche... the 'practices' ... CBT, dildos, leg worship, chastity.... are irrelevant .... unless she decides that's what she wants to do.
But, isn't this what every sub guy or gal wants?
I don't want a costumed, mythical figure... I want a woman I can love and worship.
I know.
Get in line.
Sigh. |
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Merry Valentine's Day... you never know when lightning will strike, next.
:-) |
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I've been asked why I'm not interested in 'online domination'... It gives a false impression of who we both are. I want to fall in love with my Domme''s anger, I want to want to listen to her voice, to hear her whispers as she tells me why she loves to beat me... I want to know her sores, to be washed in her story, and to help her get through bad and difficult nights...
I want to fall in love with a woman ... I want her to know I'm here for her, if she wants to whip me, or just to get a foot massage as she falls asleep in her sofa.
I can't do that, online. We can chat a bit, but I'll always want to meet your gaze. |
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It is almost as difficult for a 'real' Female Dominant to find a 'real' slave, as it is for a slave to find a compatible Female Dominant.
Male slaves may get to meet a 'potential partner' perhaps once or twice a year.... Female Dominants can pick and choose to meet a couple of slaves a week, if that is what she wants.
But yet, I have seen so often, it takes Female Dominants months, years sometimes to find the right slave. So I sometimes believe ... this may be one of the most frustrating communities to 'date' in ... ever. |
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Merry Christmas to all.. and to all a good night.
For me, I've always wanted to find an interesting dominant woman in my stocking.
Or... really... I've always wanted to be in stockings, kneeling in front of my Dominant Lady... better... waaay better.
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Happy Mother's Day for every dominant Mommy out there! (now, if I could just find one... lol)
Seriously... everybody wants a Domme Mommy, but few people appreciate what they do.... especially all the single Moms... they live for their kids, they read to them, make them do their homework, ... and with less and less time or money every week.
Salute! |
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New ad, more 'coffee dates' with 'bossy women' ... out of five dates in the past six weeks, only one woman was compatiible... A wonderful woman from Vancouver, WA .. BUT ... she wznted someone who was decidedly closer , geographically.
Well, it's difficult to change one's life, even for such a great potential match. I happen to believe that a compatible, dominant, mutually interested/ interested woman awaits my 'discovery.' ... Smiles... |
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I appreciate this site, but I've met more dominant women by using craigslist ads, than I have using this site.
There's nothing wrong with this, and I'm not 'disrespecting' this site. It's just something I've noted. Lots of prodommes on this site, nothing wrong with that. Some 'real, non-pros' ... and I've met one or two of them.
But, I think for people like us, at the sexual margins of society, it's difficult to find a partner, period. I've been to Munches, taken out ads, been on this site,... all with quite mixed results.
It is funny that sites like OKCUPID or MATCH, don't have more 'screening questions' that focus on kink. Lots of 'vanilla' people would be interested. They're out there.
Anyway, just some observations.
Gotta keep trying, or nothing happens.
Gotta use whatever tools you can.
Gotta get out there, meet people.
There is no other way.
Be good. |
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The connection between the Society for Creative Anachronisms (SCA) and TRUE BDSM relationships .. is becoming quite apparent to me. I guess it took me so long to figure it out because I've never been involved in SCA stuff.
But almost every time I meet an interesting dominant woman ... about 80 percent of the time, there's an SCA connection.
Food for thought. Especially for me.
I should have started playing in SCA thirty years ago. Damn.
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I received a photo from a dominant female doctor.. she was in leather for 'Halloween' and she wanted me to tell her how she looked...
I only wish she wanted me, because she looked fantastic...
She answered an older ad I placed in Portland for a dominant woman 'with castration fantasies'.... imagine that.
Of course, she prefers to go out with much wealthier men ... I teach for a living, and do well... for a teacher, but can't compete in the arena of making money.
I read a post on here searching for a 'slave husband' who would be castrated at the marriage ceremony... the Collarme profile said, 'Money can't compete with a man willing to give me his balls.. that's EVERYthing he really owns."
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It's difficult to 'find a connection' .. everyone wants a Dominant Mommy who will whip them 'till they cry .... and make nice to them when they're good.
I actually just want the part where my Domme whips me until I cry ... but that's just me.
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Do many transsexuals enjoy / endure chastity devices? Those seem like such a natural thing, when moving from male to female....
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This may be obvious, but it's the rare woman, domme or otherwise, that are into male chastity service and devices.
But yet, women want men to be faithful and monogamous.. a thing completely against our genetic nature.
I guess I'm saying, 'I want a seriously dominant female... to help overcome those 'sticky urges'" ... so to speak (smiles)...
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Really, is EVERYONE who has a yahoo id a shill for a pay - online - cam site?
I keep thinking about the warning here on collarme.... if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is... if she hasn't checked out your profile, if she seems 'too beautiful' or unbelievably, unrealistically MEAN... perhaps she just wants you to pay for her cam time.
Still, there ARE women who are TOTALLY into giving pain, or domination....
Trick is, to avoid the damned pay cams....
Don't ask how I know...
*SIGH*
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I've got to admit, watching that video on the right... the 'ballbusting' one where the woman in a nylon catsuit kicks the guy in the balls so hard it lifts him in the air.. is quite fascinating to watch.
I can't imagine being on the receiving end of that....
I CAN imagine being collared, whipped, and put into a chastity belt.. so, different strokes.
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I've got to admit, watching that video on the right... the 'ballbusting' one where the woman in a nylon catsuit kicks the guy in the balls so hard it lifts him in the air.. is quite fascinating to watch.
I can't imagine being on the receiving end of that....
I CAN imagine being collared, whipped, and put into a chastity belt.. so, different strokes.
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REally, karma for us kinky types is tough... I corresponded for a while with a vanilla woman who was very interested in trying the 'domme' role... we finally met, and she was totally, completely not my type.
Usually, I seem to be the one rejected on the basis of age or ethnicity. Odd kismet.
Going after this relationship I think, cost me another [ossible one here on collarme.
I've been an idiot, I guess... but I wonder what I can do to correct my bad karma.
I can't get the chastity stories out of my head ... I can't get the 'submissive servitude' out of my mind, either. ...
I guess I just go on, and try not to make the same mistakes.
Write if you can....
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Castration Fantasies:
Recently, I've been having these fantasies. Although I know real castration is rare even in hardcore D/S circles, it's really become a fascination for me.
More than anything, I think it speaks to my desire to find a woman I like.... (really necessary, doncha think?), to please in every way that I can.
I don't think many women have these fantasies, but I'll bet there are as many 'vanilla' women that have castration fantasies as do D/S women.
Any input?
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Things are tough for dominant women, too!
As long as I've been looking, keeping an eye out for, or wishing for a submissive relationship with a dominant woman, it never ocurred for me how hard it is for dominant women, as well.
I' ve read many, many postings about dominant women being accosted and chased by unrealistic time wasters.... and how many dominant women really want a 'slave boyfriend' or husband, etc.
I know this sounds like a naive epiphany on my part, but it still surprises me.... there are so many beautiful dominant women on this site, and yet.... people are people.... and have difficulty matching, relating, and communicating.... just like the vanilla world!
Luck to all, my heart especially goes out to the dominant women... things are difficult for everyone.
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A couple of women have asked about my own experiences as a submissive. Well, it has been a while, but when I lived in San Francisco, I fell very hard for a gay female domme. It was doomed from the start, of course.
She called herself Mistress Kathy, and she had short hair, and beautiful eyes. She lifted weights.
One day, at the end of a casual date, she told me that she wanted me to know what an 'angry whipping' felt like. She asked me if I was 'into pain'.... I said I wasn't, that obedience to someone I was attracted to... that was the draw for me.
"Well, I'm into giving pain" she said... and she had me naked, and bent over a bench. "I'm going to give you ten strokes, and I want you to count them outloud... if you lose count, we start over." Ok, I said, rather nervously.
Bent over, I could only hear the whip whistle through the air .... and the pain was so intense, I gasped, and my knees buckled. Mistress Kathy came over to me, stroked my head gently, and said, "I know it hurts ... take it for me... take the pain for me..."
Then she continued, and I cried out each time. Each time she comforted me, and told me to bear it for her.
I did. I did it for her. And it hurt. The whip marks showed on my rear for two weeks. For almost two weeks, I could not get an erection... I could feel the welts, and I wondered to myself, "What have I got myself into?"
But yet, when she called later.... I came over to her. Again. Because as she said, "That's REAL slavery, isn't it?"
Is this type of dominance and submission possible in a longer relationship? I'd love to know ... by experience.
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| Age: 44 |
| Edmonton, Alberta,
Canada |
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