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10 days and counting....until our trip to upstate NY, where I grew up.....Can't wait for long walks through the woods and splashing around in the many creeks and streams with their waterfalls.....but more importantly, being able to fill the desire I find myself having to share that part of my life with him.... |
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Happy being "normal"....normal defined by me as "so glad im no longer with the Dom whose face was splashed all over the local evening news recently and wanted by LAPD." Yes life is good sometimes! |
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Another wonderful weekend spent in Sacramento....and the girls had fun too! |
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Happy New Year....as the door closes on another year...grasp the opportunities the new year presents.
Im off to Sacramento to spend the weekend with my best friend and mentor, Eroticmind...... |
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May you find personal meaning in this holiday season..... |
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Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness. |
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Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality…Ralph Marston |
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I'm back.......had to take time to devote to the start up of my new job and work on a couple internal conflicts i was having...will only bring to the table my very best. |
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In two hours, i will be getting my very first tattoo...i am not sure which i am more excited about.....the pain, the needles or the tat!!!!!!!!! |
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It is only with the decrease of stress that creativity and ingenuity are able to flourish. |
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I never thought i would return to Corporate America...but when a series of circumstances lead you to it, can you ignore the obvious? |
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Thank you pahunkboy for the addition to my profile! |
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Today it was pointed out to me that "it's not in the intensity of thoughts...it's what lies between them that brings about the most impact". I'm still trying to comprehend how applicable this is on so many levels that it has my mind reeling. Grrrrr and i have just been corrected..."Between thoughts is where things happen".....i still like my summation though as well...so neener EM! |
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Call me novel...I trust you. You don't need to prove anything to me in order for me to trust you. What is amazing is the speed in which so many can lose that trust. Nothing can break trust quicker than insincerity - the genuiness or lack of in which they interact. Reliability is also a crucial part of trust. For example, showing up at an agreed time or following through with that which has been agreed upon. |
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And what an incredible day it was...no other way to describe it. |
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Looking forward to a new meet up and a pleasant day tomorrow... |
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Another reminder today that i have left my Fresno trip hanging...so to add an ending to it... We had a wonderful lunch, great conversation and have remained in touch almost daily since that time. It's an honor and a pleasure to call Him a really great friend... |
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Ahhhh...another year under my belt. Birthdays get easier as time goes on!
Goodbye Hollywood...hello Orange County......I'm home!!!
I was sitting across the table from an HR guy recently on a job interview. It seemed to be going well and we were about to wrap it up when from out of left field he asked, "What do YOU want for yourself?”
For a split second, I was taken aback. Something he had said didn’t sound right. His question replayed in the front of my mind while somewhere in the back, I skimmed the canned answers I kept tucked away for moments like this.
I shot him my best blonde pensive look… ...a stalling tactic. I tried to compose myself.
My mind raced through the last of my rehearsed responses. 
“Where do you see yourself?”
No, my response to that question won’t give him an answer.
Next.
“What do you want”….
And there it was…the glitch that had thrown my thought process for a loop.  He wasn’t asking me what I wanted. He had asked what I wanted for myself.
“What I want” in my mind is defined as what is it I can do for someone else.
Ergo…his addition of “for yourself” would be defined as “what can I do for me?”…Could that be right?
The fog began to lift and for a split second, I saw myself standing there with a gift box...which i handed to myself. 
Instinctively I knew what was in the box...the question is can i accept it...
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The countdown has begun. In four days, i will drive 4 hours to finally meet Him in person. After 6 months of daily phone calls, emails and IM's this seems just a formality. He has become a major part of my daily life. This lunch could easily be the end. The 8 hours that seperates us is a huge obstacle in our busy lives. Once we meet, what's left? He is settled in his world and soon i will be moving and starting a new world for myself. Yet he continues to be the standard to which all others pale. I take a deep breathe and try to keep my mind focused on Tuesday and not worry about anything past then.
I have mapped the route to Fresno...3 times just to be safe. I have cleared my calendar for the 8 hours of driving and 2 hours for lunch. I have informed the once Dom/now roomate of my plans so he can anticipate a phone call upon my arrival in Fresno and before my return home. I have picked 3 outfits...and will try to determine which will be suitable to withstand the drive and remain applicable for a casual lunch. Nails and toes will be done this weekend, car washed and gased up on Monday...and biting my tongue to keep me grounded. |
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***Please Note***
I am not ignoring your emails and chat requests. I spend a lot of time on the message boards and I am simply unaware of what's happening on this side while i am there. |
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And so your life hits that fork in the road. What do you do? I don't know what you would do, but as for me, I'm doing absolutely nothing...at least for the moment. It's an important fork in the road and until I am positive of which to take, I'm simply hanging out enjoying life. |
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Happy Holidays to one and all. An extremely busy month for me as I deck the halls with boughs of holly...Also getting ready for a move back to the OC after the first of the year, so am winding things down here in Hollywood. Let me say in advance, I appreciate the emails...please forgive me if i am tardy in responding...put please do not dash away dash away all. |
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I always liked this...so i am stealing it from my good friend Masterdiver's Journal and posting it in mine as well...Ancient Japanese phrase " Everyone comes into your life for a reason ..yet to be determined "
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pain noun the fuel that drives the mind forward not unlike adrenaline fuels the body beyond what might normally be considered physically impossible. |
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I am not submissive because of any inferiority on my part...Not because I feel I am any less intelligent or less wise.
I am not submissive because of the strength or mass of my body...I am not, nor would I want to be submissive with all men.
Yet to you, I am submissive.
I am submissive only after you have earned my trust and you have embraced my submissiveness.
I am submissive only after you have looked into my heart and mind and clearly see my desires and passions.
I am submissive only after you allow me to throw away my fears and inhibitions.
And for this, I will give you total access to my soul.
You must be willing to accept this responsibility. |
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